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Monday, April 16, 2018

"Untitled" by Jacqueline E.


I learned a lot inside a year. All by myself. I’m drowning in a pool full of water neck deep, but I’m used to fighting to keep my head above the water. I felt a lot within these handful of months. I’m laying in the dark, I can’t move, I’m screaming so loud but no one can hear me, I’m crying for help but no one comes, because no one else is in the house. But I survived. I dealt with so much with another turn around the sun. I’m in the passenger seat of a car that is crashing and in three seconds I can’t hear a single thing but I can feel my body being thrown forward, I can smell smoke, I can feel pain, and I think I am dying. But I continue to live. Sometimes I did feel like I was at the top of the world but I was not at the top of the world. If anything, I was sinking to the bottom of the earth and when I was all alone I had nowhere to go. I still thank the universe for being my greatest accomplice despite it all. We really all just want to be something, and I hope that love and happiness is all that we attract. I’m thankful for the family that loved me more than my own, and they took me in and they became my new home. I have been heartbroken, destroyed, abandoned, and defeated yet I’m going to stick around. I also had yellow days. When the day is nice, the sun shines just right through the green leaves and tree branches and we lay there looking up. When our favorite song comes on and that is all we can hear, and everything feels right, or we sit in a parking lot in front of a Wienerschnitzel while the sun is going down and cry tears of love. If every day was yellow I would be very happy. I love my friends. Talking to the moon won’t fix a single thing but at least I got them. I am no longer afraid. The future is no longer atrocious, life is precious. I know I am a mess but at least I made progress. There are no more monsters and I can finally breathe again. I don’t want to remember the bad things, my memories are fading, going rapidly, leaving drastically. I am letting go. I learned a lot inside a year. Whether it is heartbreak, abuse, abandonment, loneliness, losses, or fear, I learned that everything will be okay. I will be okay. - ps.Jackie






17 comments:

  1. i feel this could have used a tad more development before the beat changed occured but other than that its a great story, relatable in some aspects and i love the phrase "i had yellow days" its inspiring for a book idea. and very different from things that ive read on here. good job Jacqueline.

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  2. Wow! I loved how that when you explained the negatives, you knew that whatever happened, everything will be ending up okay, and weren't going to allow yourself fall deep in the dark. Nice job!-Erick Gutierrez per.4

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  3. Jackie, you are the most bubbliest person I know and also one of the strongest. I know you have been through a lot this year and I am so proud of your courage to publish a post that captivates your emotions. Though this was a piece about you, I like how you included little messages that can influence and relate to others as well, for example, "The future is no longer atrocious, life is precious. I know I am a mess but at least I made progress". Well done! Keep your head up!

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  4. I have never met you before, but your blog actually touched my heart. The amount of imagery you used from the beginning into the end just caught my attention. At the end of the day its not what you go through, but how you overcome it. Continue to shine and most importantly people are listening to you, I related soo much to the first few lines of your poem its almost like were the same person.

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  5. It's very hard to go through things alone and this makes you stronger. Your personal reflection evokes emotion and inspires others reading this. The shift of your story shows how determined you are for change. Even in this time of darkness, you were able to include all the positives. Thank you for posting this.

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  6. It's very hard to go through things alone and this makes you stronger. Your personal reflection evokes emotion and inspires others reading this. The shift of your story shows how determined you are for change. Even in this time of darkness, you were able to include all the positives. Thank you for posting this.

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  7. Great Piece Jacqueline! I really enjoyed how you related the story to your own personal life so I feel that made it easier to connect to. In life there are ups and downs as you described however I liked how you kept moving forward and stayed positive even in bad situations. I found your piece very motivating and again Good job!

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  8. That's a good mentality to have, that you'll be okay, no matter what. It's important for all of us to remember that. Thanks for sharing your feelings and providing a reminder to all of the stressed students reading these posts right now.

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  9. Everyday is a struggle for someone in the world and you just shared how you over come that struggle and push through. This was beautiful don't stop pushing everyday. Greatness will come in the end.

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  10. This piece really helped me realize that through all the hardship we have to learn to pull ourselves back up again. Like you said sometimes we feel like we are "drowning", but we can not stop living. Your shift in tone from dark to positive was smooth and your piece was written well. Good job!
    Valerie Cortez
    Per 5

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  11. Your well written piece really helped me realize that through the hardships we go through we have to learn to pick ourselves up. like you said sometimes we feel like we are "drowning", but we can not stop living.Your shift from negative to positive views is written very smoothly, keep being positive !
    _valerie cortez

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  12. This is something that I feel inside as well, so I was able to relate to the blog. However, just like you I’m okay and struggling to survive these last few months. But in my mind I always think that it won’t last forever, and it will have to end at one point. Other than that, great use of metaphors and imagery to depict your tone of pain and confusion! Nice work!

    Jeremiah Credo P1

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  13. Thanks for sharing your story. The imagery was beautiful and poignant. We can all relate to this. That no matter what, life will go on. What matters how we make the most of it.

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  14. I feel like this had some very deep meaning to you as you let it flow out, and yet is still relatable for most high school students that are stressed and struggle to be successful amongst all the challenges they’re faced with.

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  15. this was such a beautiful and inspiring piece... I loved how you added the p.s at the end to make it sound like a letter. Amazing job!

    Eddie Avila
    Period 1

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  16. I absolutely loved the whole concept of your story. Using such a descriptive diction to help us visualize your struggles allowed me to feel more emotionally connected to your life story. Ending with such encouraging and positive words was a great choice,continue with this mindset and stay strong !

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  17. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings. After reading this, I feel relieved that I am not alone in my personal struggles. I am happy for you that you have overcome your inner battles.

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