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Monday, December 18, 2017

"Should’ve Stayed Home and Studied" by Ty K


            “Shit.”
            She knew this was it. It was towering over her, its blade-like limb speeding toward her neck. Everything began to move in slow motion, and the events of the evening played over one last time in her mind.
            It wasn’t totally Lena’s fault that it would end like this. She recalled how her mother had pressed her to spend her Saturday like a “normal” teenager.
            “Sweetie, I understand that your finals are coming up, but don’t you think you’ve spent enough time studying?” her mother inquired.
            “There isn’t really an ‘enough’ point with studying.” replied Lena, her head buried in a chemistry textbook.
            “Sure, but I really feel like you need a break. You’ve been working too hard for the past couple of weeks, and it never hurts to de-stress a bit. You know you need a break when your mother is telling you to stop studying.”
            “I mean, I guess, mom.”
            “Isn’t there some kind of party you could go to? Or, what do you guys call them now… a kickback?”
            “I’ll just see what Jax is up to.”
            Jax was one of Lena’s only friends. They met at the beginning of their freshman year of high school. He was taller and skinnier than Lena, and had much fairer skin compared to Lena’s reddish-brown coloration. Unfortunately for him, he decided to pick up the phone that Saturday night that Lena called.
            “Hey Lena, what’s up? Need help with homework?” he asked.
            “Actually, I was calling to see if you wanted to do something tonight?”
            “Wh- What?” Jax’s voice broke. “Um, sure, what did you have in mind?”
            “Just something to get me out of the house, my mom is forcing me to do stuff.” said Lena, seemingly bored.
            “Oh, alright.” replied a disheartened Jax.
            The two met up at a park near Jax’s house, telling their parents that they would walk to another friend’s house from there.
            “So, you think of something to do on the car ride over here?” questioned Jax through chattering teeth.
            It was a cool December night in Ehrenberg, Arizona. Jax tried to dress warmly, but the cold air sliced through his extra jackets like they were nothing.
            “How ‘bout we check out that old high school? The one by the firehouse?” Lena suggested, showing no signs that the weather bothered her.
            “You mean the one that’s all boarded up? With ‘KEEP OUT’ signs on them? Why would we do that?”
            “Because. Why not? What’re you scared or something?” Lena shoved Jax.
            “No. Man, you suck.”
            Lena couldn’t tell if he was blushing or if the cold was turning his face red.
---
            Within B. Dahlia High School, a figure hunched over a small animal, what looked like a dog, mutilated, but still living. This figure was imperceivable, appearing to the dog as its previous, abusive owner. It ripped and tore at the poor animal’s insides, consuming every last morsel. Suddenly, it froze, turning what could be its head away from its food. It heard noises outside of its home, two humans.
---
            “Why did this school ever close?” Jax whispered to Lena.
“Some liability issue, too many kids coming home sick or something.”
“And why do you want to be here again?”
“To figure out more about this stupid place. Don’t the rumors make you curious?”
The two teenagers clambered over nailed boards, through a broken spot in what used to be the door. Lena flicked on her flashlight, and wandered into an old classroom.
“How old is this place? It was only recently closed down right? These desks don’t look too old.”
“Yeah, I think it was only a few years ago when they actually closed this area off.”
Jax was set on finding whatever it was Lena wanted to find and getting the hell out of there. He didn’t like school in the first place, and did not picture himself back in class on a Saturday night.
“Let’s go check out the main offices. I bet they’ll have the information you’re looking for, or whatever.”
---
The creature followed the sound of the two humans. It quickly made its way from room to room, moving through walls as though they were nothing. Finally, it saw its prey. Two humans. One smaller. One larger. It had been a long time since it got to eat such a glorious meal.
---
“Hey I think I got something.” said Lena.
“It says in this record that there was some kind of experimentation done here prior to the school being built. Some kind of chemical residue was left behind and it ended up getting most of the kids sick. It says that the chemicals had some ‘undesirable effects’ like making students more aggressive, and changing their appearances.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not really sure, it said something about subtle differences in students depending on who you asked. Like the mother of this one student said she saw her son with more freckles than usual, while the same students brother said that his eyes became darker. I don’t get it.”
Jax didn’t say anything.
“And in this report, it says something did happen to a certain student. Not that they died, but that they went missing. I really don’t understand this Jax. Jax?”
She turned around. What she saw was completely different than what Jax saw.
He saw a clown stabbing him through his back, and the knife coming out of his chest. His last thought was fear, he always hated clowns.
Lena watched the blood run out of her friend’s mouth, as he slid off the creature’s arm and onto the floor. Lena saw a dark, lanky figure, with sharp ends for each of its limbs. She began to run, to no avail. The creature moved from Jax’s lifeless body almost as a shadow, cutting off her only exit from the office room.
“Shit.”
Before Lena’s decapitated head had hit the floor, the creature began to feed on Jax’s insides.
           
           
           
           

29 comments:

  1. Well that went from 0 to 100 real fast. I liked that while the story was done mostly through dialogue, I had no trouble understanding it. I also liked how you squeezed in your own sense of humor into this horror. Nice job.

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  2. woahh! this piece is so different compared to the others I've read. I appreciate your organization of how you decided to write this piece. I thought it was really cool how the title was the lesson of the story. I especially admired the detail and thought you put into writing this, amazing job!

    Eddie Avila
    Period 1

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  3. Wow! This piece is real interesting. I love how intense it got and how you tied everything back to the beginning. I also like that I can see your humor too in this piece. Great job!

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  4. I wasn't expecting the outcome at all! That's what makes a story captivating. The way you separated the story lines by an account of the monster and an account of Lena kept the story going.This makes me think about all the times I wish I would've stayed home and studied. Great job!

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  5. This took a HUGE turn for the worst for Jax and Lena. I really enjoyed this piece, which took on a very different type of view. It switched between the three characters, which I really liked, especially when the monster came into play. Once that evil character was introduced, I started to root for Lena and Jax, hoping these two characters would make it out alive. Buuut I was certainly wrong. Great job Ty!

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  6. This story did not go at all as I expected but I really enjoyed reading it. I found the whole story rather funny and just super entertaining to read overall. Great work !

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  7. I need more. This story was so good. I wasn’t expecting the outcome at ALL. The beginning was relatable and I think that’s what drew me in l wanted to see what would happen to the main character(Lena). Keep writing stories and publish them because this was amazing and It’d be wonderful to read more.
    Avalon Freeman
    Pd. 2

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  8. This was fun to read and had me on toes towards the end, very creative nice work!

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  9. Its super dope that the plot twist came in the beginning, rather than it being a cliff hanger sort of plot twist. But it wasn't the only one!! You kept the twists coming with the reason for the school being abandoned and with the blood thirsty monster!! It's such an awesome story, and your use of sensory details made it easy to picture in my head as I read along. Great work on this one. ✪ Imani Crenshaw, per. 2

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  10. You completely subverted my expectations at the end there. I never thought I would enjoy stories about innocent teenagers getting eviscerated and cannibalized, but here we are now. Definitely a huge fan of stories that do the whole bait-and-switch. I was expecting a wholesome life lesson when you delivered the complete opposite.

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  11. Wow! This piece has such an amazing plot and formatted so nicely. I was drawn in by the title, expecting something I would relate to, but that was not the case. The story has so many elements that remind me of "Interstellar" where you can analyze MANY times and still find something new. Your use of flashbacks and shifting the point of view really immersed me into the piece and showed your great proficiency in writing!

    - Travis Ly

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  12. This was a great piece, the plot twist at the end really surprised me.

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  13. This truly took a turn that I wasn't expecting at all. I thought the worse case scenario would be Lena failing her test. I was captivated by the story especially since you started the scene with the word "shit". Good job, Ty! I loved your story despite hating clowns with a strong passion.

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  14. This story was great! I had no clue where it was going to end up but the ending had me shocked. You did a good job at captivating the audience by your use of imagery as well as dialogue. Good job!

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  15. The organization of the story is very reminiscent of a few scenes of what would make up a horror movie. It's certainly an ending nobody would expect, despite the foreshadowing in the first two lines.

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  16. I am very surprised with the ending, but the crazy plot twist shows that things may happen when you least expect it. This piece was very entertaining.

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  17. This is amazing. It was so descriptive that I felt like I was watching a movie. The title seemed mundane, and relatable, at first, but when I reread it after finishing, the title made me laugh at how much of an understatement it was. I really want to see the aftermath of what happened and what will happen to the being in the abandoned school. Such amazing writing and a really cool concept.

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  18. WOW! Well done Ty! That was an amazing piece, I was enthralled with your writing and I just could not get to the next word fast enough. I really enjoyed the horror aspect of your piece it was something very different and you nailed it.

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  19. Alejandro QuintanillaJanuary 17, 2018 at 7:21 PM

    I was not expecting the outcome to be so dark and abrupt but it was really well done as the strong friendship was ended by the creature. Normally you would expect the kids to overcome or escape, but the different route you took was interesting and well done.

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  20. Wow, the imagery you used EFFECTIVELY placed a vivid and disturbing picture of an impaled Jax and a decapitated Lena into my brain. The way you described the blood oozing from his mouth was particularly chilling to me. I don't know if it was intentional, but I picked up a vibe that Jax might've had a love interest in Lena from the scene where Jax was nervously talking to her on the phone. So that was interesting to me. I was not expecting the blade-like limb to belong to a clown! Good job.
    -Sammie Sandoval

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  21. Ty, this was an amazing piece that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout. I like how the story stayed entertaining and intense apart from the great amount of dialogue that can be found. I also enjoyed your imagery when describing the monster and its various actions.

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  22. The plot was what really drove the story home for me, especially with the plot twist of the killer clown. When I read the title I thought there would be a more light-hearted approach to why Lena should have stayed home, but I loved this version a lot more.

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  23. The plot was what really drove the story home for me, especially with the plot twist of the killer clown. When I read the title I thought there would be a more light-hearted approach to why Lena should have stayed home, but I loved this version a lot more.

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  24. Reading the title my first thought was "typical ty", but what I was expecting was the complete opposite of what you delivered and I loved it. I especially appreciated your use of satire throughout as you have a clever and slightly dark sense of humor. You also did a fantastic job at captivating the reader and keeping him/her guessing the whole time. The whole story had a "Stranger Things" feel to it which I enjoyed very much as well. Keep up the great work <333

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  25. This short story really caught me off guard. I was intrigued by the first word and wanted to keep on reading. I really liked how you broke the story up using the dashes so we could see both sides of the story.
    Samantha Ehrlich Period 1

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  26. My god, did this take a turn that I did not expect it to! I love how the plot twist comes at the beginning, and then is almost forgotten about until the very end, it really adds to the shock factor of if all. While reading the part about Lena and her studying, I felt myself relating to the character a little bit, but come the end of the story, that was quickly turned around as well! Excellent work on your story. :)
    -Carianne Lefebvre

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  27. This is great! I liked the beginning of the piece foreshadowed what happened later in the story. The entire time I was curious about what the beginning really meant, and later it on became very obvious. The descriptive imagery you used worked well with the overall tone of the story and it kept me on the edge of my seat.

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  28. I really enjoy the subtle bits of dark humor that you implemented throughout the story. Especially the part where Jax's thoughts as he was stabbed by a clown were how much he hated clowns. The story really strayed away from the normal life lesson and happy ending type of stories. Great Work!

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  29. Well that was a plot twist! That escalated quickly. I love the vivid use of imagery that effectively describes the bloody capitation. The diction gives the reader a sense of fear and eeriness that is unparalleled. I greatly enjoyed this piece.

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