Today I visited a shrink. I mean my parents think I've been
acting strange for some weird reason. I mean I am kind of odd so I don't blame
them. I wasn't going to come but then I remembered I had nothing better to do. Crazy
right? Anyways this shrink or should I call him therapist, the great,
spectacular Dr. Alfred welcomed me into his office. He looked quite boring, one
of those cliché therapists dudes you see in a movie. I introduced myself,
stating my name, Dallas Mitchell with a nice firm handshake. I took a seat and
then the first thing he asked me was my age.
Honestly, I don't understand these type of questions, just read the file,
move on, and start picking at my brain ,so I can tell you the troubles and the
deep thoughts I have stuck inside waiting to let out. I mean isn't that the
whole reason why I'm here? Lets skip the boring part and straight into what I
told him. I mean I told him everything. The late sleepless nights, the rumors,
the insecurities, the emptiness. All of it. Being open with my parents is not
an option. He then asked me about my "love life". Then, I went on to
tell him on about my high school crush. You know the scoop about how we started
liking each other this year, I mean I'm pretty sure she likes me back. I went
on to describe her appearance, I didn't explain deep details about her but more
of the little things I like. The way her hair looks, her eyes when she looks at
me, and her soft skin I feel when I get all flirty and touch her hand. Also the
way she makes me laugh and the way she smiles, it makes me happy and forget all
the nonsense going on in my head. I mean I don't love the girl, but yea she's
pretty cool. I had to get out of my feelings so I told him about the really
crazy time I broke both of my arms and ankle at the same time. It was pretty
crazy I jumped off the balcony trying to reach my pool but missed horribly. I
was in the hospital for what felt like 5 years. I was the popular kid right
after though, It happened in the 4th grade so you know all the 4th graders and
even the cute 5th graders signed my cast.
I had all the color sharpies with me. I also told him about the time I
ran away because I got into a fight with my dad. Yea it was pretty bad, I was
dumb though, like I ran away to Target and came back and slept on my roof so my
parents would be worried sick looking for me all night. It backfired of course,
they didn't even notice I left. Who doesn't notice that their son hasn't been
home all night? I knew then and there they didn't care for me. I started crying
and told Dr. Alfred that my parents don't love me and only want me here because
I've been acting up. We wrapped it up after and he told me to come back next
week. I mean, I thought it was pretty fun lying to him and lying to you about
what's happened and what's going on in my life. I mean some of the things I
said are true but I guess the shrink or whoever reading this won't know. But,
look on the bright side visit number two is next week and I'm looking forward
to it. I guess I am pretty crazy.
Find the shape and tell it!
I'm not surprised at all that you would write somthing like this derek smh. You always playing games and even your fictional character can't be serious about anything aha. However I did enjoy reading it and I guess opening up to a therapist can be hard so it's easier to not tell the whole truth. Either that or Dallas is a compulsive lier,who knows! Overall great story derek.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I agree with Kofi. It seems as if you wished to open up but when feeling too vulnerable you used humor to hide it. I enjoy the way Dallas played around with the truth in order to make his visit bearable. I can relate to not always telling the whole truth in order to stay in my comfort zone and avoid risk. This piece reflected the author & yeah, you are pretty crazy and this was a pretty interesting read. :))
ReplyDeleteThe plot twist was so good!!! I also like the way that Dallas depicted love through the simple gestures and details the significant other holds. I always find it interesting when an author writes a piece but writes it through the perspective of someone else rather than themselves. Its almost as if your afraid of being vulnerable. But I like that because it always keeps the audience pondering what really is the truth.
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever interpretation of your experience Derek. I also really loved the plot twist as I was truly not expecting it. The structure and context of the story gives the reader something to hook themselves into and want to keep reading. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteEven though this story is made up, I feel like it is very reasonable and realistic. It is very understandable to not be willing to tell the whole truth to a stranger, so you keep it short and simple. You did a very good job telling this story, I was interested while reading it. It sounds like something you would write, great job!
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this piece I began to feel bad for Dallas and how he felt as if no one cared for him, but then I continued reading and noticed it was all a lie. This piece really made me laugh and you did a great job with that plot twist I was not expecting it at all, good job!
ReplyDeleteI though this was a cool piece that a lot of people will enjoy with 13 Reasons Why coming out. I'm glad that it ended with the person being alright with going back and getting help.
ReplyDeleteDerek , I was so shocked reading this piece. It was very suspenseful. I loved how you used first person point of view because it made it feel more personal. The structure and syntax made the piece interesting. It reminded me a little of Bates Motel so I was really pleased with this story. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading about the part where Dallas ran away to target and came home to sleep on the roof to keep them worried because I did something like that a while ago and by the way, I really got to me when you startyed talking about your crush because I have felt the same way towards somebody.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interesting piece, the plot twist at the end was funny. I liked the irony of the whole situation. I enjoyed reading the piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI did not expect the piece to end like that at all. It was a fresh twist. I liked how you started off just relaying problems and getting the audience to sympathize with Dallas and then you just threw that plot twist in at the end and changed literally everything from the beginning of this piece. Good work.
ReplyDeleteNice job Derek, i really enjoyed readying this. It was really comforting reading your story. It was nice knowing what people go through, even if it was made up. the plot twist and comedy was a nice addition.
ReplyDeleteKnowing you for so long, I knew from the comedy to it, that some type of plot twist was coming, so when it did, I was pleasantly surprised. The plot twist was a great way to end the piece, along with the continuation of the story.
ReplyDeletethis was such a really good story. I liked how I was questioning if some of these stories were real or just made up, it made start to think. It was good how at the end it was just a joke and it went back to a positive story.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting piece! I really enjoyed your style of writing and how you could go from being serious and sad to funny. I was not expecting the plot twist at the end. But I can relate to Dallas not wanting to reveal the more deeper aspects of himself. Great work!
ReplyDeleteYou really got me with this one! I was really invested with this story up until the end where you hit the audience with the plot twist. But knowing you, i should have noticed it from the beginning! All in all, it was a good story.
ReplyDeleteHaha omg Derek your such a dork I like this piece because it made me laugh knowing you sense before kinder is crazy and you have always been so crazy and funny and you really had me going through my mind trying to remember what really happen in your story and what were lies haha. The plot twist is your story makes us as readers want to know whats next and it makes it so intriguing I love it ! haha good job I honestly wanted to see how this was going to turn out and it was pretty good. good job catching our attention then at the end making us feel dumb for believe everything you said but leaving us with the mystery of not knowing what is actually true.
ReplyDeleteIt was very funny, but thats not that crazy. (Just keeping it real) You know whats crazy, going to scared straight in San Bernardino jail and the prisoners end up loving you which was said by the cop during the six hour tour and then taking an Ap practice test right after. (true story with proof) Lol but your story was very random and simultaneously hilarious great job. Great landing on the balcony that sounds like it hurt. lol
ReplyDeleteHahaha Derek this story doesn't surprise me at all with the twist you gave your audience. As I read this, I felt as if I was reading The Catcher in the Rye because your main character carried a very similar personality to Holden. Good Job on this piece, it was something different to read.
ReplyDeleteDerek, lol I actually laughed out loud multiple times reading this. I'm glad that this is different from most of the pieces out here and it seems to really reflect who you are as a person. Other than that, Dallas seems like a cool pathological liar I guess. He seemed so believable that I didn't even think for a second that he was lying. You did a really good job on story and narration that it seemed like a casual conversation and it must have been difficult to do especially since it is not from your own perspective. Great work!!
ReplyDeleteThis story was incredible, Derek! The casual, laid-back tone truly matched the character of the story and provided a genuine first-person perspective. The humor that was used to write a story with such a serious plot made this piece enjoyable to read. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece lowkey reminded me of Catcher and the Rye with the rhetorical questioning and personal analyzes but Kofi and Em were right you're character used a defense mechanism to hide his true feelings by making something potentially serious light-hearted and fun.
ReplyDeleteAt first you had me thinking that this happened to you, that plot twist was clever and unfortunately I can relate to some of this stuff. I really like how similar this is to Catcher in the Rye in the way that we can see the narrator as being unreliable and somewhat pretentious, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was really great. The attention to detail used was great. The ending of the story was ironic and caught the reader off guard. This really pulled the reader in. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is something you would write and do because in real life I never know if you're telling the truth or not. I liked the writing style it seemed very lax and like a conversation. Well, great piece Derek you should be a writer some day.
ReplyDeletelmao this peice was really entertaining to me because you not only created a character that embodies the characteristics of a crazy person in therapy but you made a story that i can see you in.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was so intriguing and so funny to me. The title is what initially caught my attention, however once I started reading, all of my attention was captured. I found myself as a reader feeling so much sympathy for the main character, Dallas, that once I hit the plot twist I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" out loud. Overall this was such a great piece and your strong use of details and descriptions really made the story flow as a whole. Good job Derek!
ReplyDeleteThis drink sounds like it shmacks!!!
ReplyDeleteI will definitely make this at home! The recipe, directions, and ingredients are simple and easy to follow and the drink sounds delightful! Thank you for sharing this recipe from your culture so that others may enjoy it too.
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