"For Her " by Emily G

 

In the middle of homework, I hear Mom call us down for dinner. I follow after Dad once I hear the croak of the stairs underneath him. As I help Mom to set the table and serve our plates, Dad sits down with a sigh, but we don't question him. About ten minutes into dinner, he finally tells us what's been bothering him.

"Well, Aunt Rose isn't doing well. Ma told me that she's in pretty bad shape in the hospital, so her and Dad are going down to San Diego tomorrow.” he says in between a drink of Iced Tea.

In complete denial of what I had just heard I thought to myself, "Just a month or two ago she was in bad shape and she's still okay...how bad can she be?" Sudden memories of not being able to see Grandma Lucy (my great grandma) before she passed away flooded my mind. Before I could bite my tongue, I looked to my dad and said, "I want to go to San Diego too. I need to see Aunt Rose."

"Your Aunt Tina is going down tomorrow...you can go with her. But I do not want you to leave Tina's side! Do you understand me?"
I nodded yes.

Aunt Tina picked me up at around 9 on Thursday morning. On the ride down, we gossiped about family and what was going on at school and in work. I could feel her almost tense up when she told me, "Emi...now Aunt Rose is very sick. I just want to warn you, she doesn't look or seem like her usual self so if you can't handle it that's okay."
I simply shook my head so she knew I understood and looked out the window, not quite knowing what to expect.

We got our visitor wristbands and found Aunt Rose's room. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my beloved Aunt Lucille, whose diabetes is slowly stripping her body and life away. "Oh mija!” she said with a big smile. I gave her and my grandparents a hug and a kiss.

I turned and instantly whispered, "Oh, Aunt Rose". A terrible surge of sadness rushed through my body. She was simply bones with jaundiced skin, her yellowed eyes bulging out, and her hair oddly thin and discolored. "I know, I know. Don't say my name in that way. I already know.” she responded to me. I walked over and held her hand. To take our minds off of everything I smiled to her and said, "You know I just got my permit last month." Her eyes got even bigger, as if that was possible, and with shock in her voice answered, "Don't leave your car open. Always lock it. People will take anything they can from you!" It wasn't quite the response I was anticipating, but I've only forgotten to lock my car twice in the past two years; each time I hear her words of advice ring through my ears. Aunt Lucille broke the silence and started telling stories, and making the whole room laugh even in the saddest of times. The hospital discharged my aunt, and they sent Hospice to her daughter, Shonda's house, since that's where she would be staying. We stayed for the rest of the day and made sure she had been properly moved in to Shonda's house, and after that we returned home at around 9 p.m.

The next day was a Friday, and Aunt Tina and I had gone out once again to San Diego to be with Aunt Rose. This time, my mom and sister, and all of my Nana's (Dad's mom) sisters and brother had gone down. Even though this is my dad’s aunt, he refused to go down because he doesn't deal with death well and prefers to remember people by who they were while alive and not while they're extremely ill.

Little did I know that the Thursday before would be the last time Aunt Rose would talk unless she was crying out from pain. Even though she couldn't respond I still held her hand and told her I loved her, and I could still feel a slight response, like she would just barely squeeze my hand, and I knew she was trying to tell me she loved me too.

My mom, sister, and I decided to not go back down to San Diego on Saturday so we could let all the siblings be by her side. At about 8:20 p.m. my mom received a text and tears grew in her eyes. She stated what I had already known. "Girls, your Aunt has passed on." My sister, who had been sitting next to me on the couch, ran upstairs with immediate sobs slipping from her lips. I sat on the couch for about ten minutes, completely numb and a feeling of blankness engulfing me. I got up, and with every step towards my room, I started to shake and had tears flowing down from my eyes. Never in my life had my heart ached so much.

In those three days, I learned to not take the time and the moments I had with my family for granted. I realized that there was no point in loving someone, whether it's family or friends, if you're not going to love with your whole heart.