Pages
▼
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
"1776 New Life, New Love" by Tyler A
It was 1776, in New York City. General Washington had won us the American
Revolution to gain our independence from Britain. He was setting up to be elected President of
the United States. All of the newly free states were celebrating as they didn’t have anymore
oppressive taxes or british officers in our faces everyday. We were entering into the time to be.
While I was planning a party with all my friends to come live it up with me.
The Red Coats had been ruining my life ever since I was a kid, and I planned to start the
beginning of our new country right. This would be the greatest party that New York had ever
seen. On July 4th at midnight, it was to be official, we would be free. I started sending the
invites, all of my neighbors and friends, Andrew, Alexander, Marie, Julien, and even the
gorgeous Kay from down the lane. I doubted she’d even think about coming, but I sent it to her
anyway, as well as anyone else I could think to invite to my New Country Eve’s party. It was all
I had thought about for weeks, the party, the venue, the people and the food.
A few weeks later, it was time, the night of the party was upon us! I had everything
ready, my house spic and span, food laid out, drinks set for people to pour, and places for
everyone to be comfortable. As the day began and the hours passed I only became more anxious
for the night to come and for my guests to arrive.
2:00 … no one yet
5:00 … still no one…?
7:00 … I’m beginning to give up, no one had shown up.
Until, 7:30, she came, Kay showed up! Standing in front of me, the definition and perfect
image of beauty. I was stunned, I had expected her least of everyone but here she was. I brought
her into my house and explained my situation, but we laughed about it and began to have an
amazing time and we were able to talk seamlessly. Soon enough I hear a group of people outside,
I look out to see that it’s all of my best friend, Andrew, Alexander, Marie and Julien! It had
started to become to night that I had wanted it to be. All of my friends and Kay got along, it was
magnificent. We ate, we drank, we cheered and played games, it was like we were all children
again, ignorant and bliss.
11:59 We all huddled together, and soon, it was time to count, 10… 9…, 3… 2… 1…
I looked at everyone, I faced Kay, and she quickly swung in and kissed me. I was stunned, then I
kissed her back. Everyone went crazy, and we celebrated. It was the beginning of a new life for
us, and a new love for me.
This story is amazing. I love how you incorporated America`s independence day into your story which represented a new beginning for your character in life and in love.
ReplyDeleteYour story is expertly blended into history that makes me as a reader feel more realistic especially with how descriptive you are with the historical background before introducing the love interest. I love how much anticipation you created that kept wondering if his friends would actually come but more concerned about Kay's appearance to the celebration. I really want to read more! This is the very beginning of a novel's first chapter and wished to see more!
ReplyDeleteI really love how you were able to incorporate some history into your story. You were able to write in the perspective of one living in that time period, awesome job. Even while reading it for some reason, I can imagine the speaker or character with an older American English accent, and I think it was due to your great description, not necessarily about the speaker himself but about the time period and event. Your story line was a happy and romantic ending and allows for the reader to capture this image in their minds to formulate a perspective of this event just as it was described. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to be placed in 1776 and you did a great job of using details and diction to convey that setting. Your combination of such a historic day with a charming romance made the story even more intriguing and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The last paragraph made me smile and I loved how in the last line, you said, "It was the beginning of a new life for us, and a new love for me." That was so cute! Overall, I loved your story and I think you did an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteDear Readers, I apologize as I have realized that I have made some historical inaccuracies in the years of the revolutionary war, sorry for the inconvenience and I hope you all still enjoy this story
ReplyDeleteI love how you created a light hearted twist on a historical based story. Your description of the event and the large amount of imagery made your story really enjoyable. I like how you wrote your story from the perspective of someone living at that time because it made it more personal and interesting. You did a great job Tyler!
ReplyDeleteI found this story to be very humorous, with how the main character is so excited about a party to celebrate freedom. I'm happy that his crush Kay showed up, and that his other friends eventually showed up as well.
ReplyDeletethis story was adorable. i am in love with Hamilton and so i love the time setting. the time period is very different from what most people would write in yet it still had very modern aspects to the story.
ReplyDeleteI love how you incorporated our nations history along with your story. I also love the title and how it was the last line of your story. I think that it puts so much emphasis on that part of the story. Overall it was a great plot line and story.
ReplyDeleteI liked that instead of going with a cliche New Years Eve party scenario, you instead used a magnificent time as the setting for your story. In the beginning I though it was going to be a story about the USA itself, but I was wrong, but not disappointed. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you included Independence day as the backdrop of the story, it makes it pretty descriptive and we can see the birth of something great happening.
ReplyDeleteVery well written narrative. I enjoyed how you compared the birth of a nation to the birth of the love between the speaker and Kay. I also enjoy how the speaker's hope never truly died, despite their doubts they still stayed true to their passions.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea for a story setting,Super clever to think of a party on the first independence day instead of just a normal party. It adds way more suspense because of the importance, and the story was clever and well written
ReplyDeletei loved loved loved this story. i am in love Hamilton so i love the time setting. it was very different. you could have made it a common party but you choose a different time period which makes the story interesting and different.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece so much it is so innovative to use new years in a historical context i thought it was well written and you put in a sense where we can relate to it to. Loved it man
ReplyDeleteThis is such an interesting topic and I enjoyed it! At first I was a little hesitant because it was history themed but then I actually read it and it made me laugh. I liked it a lot, good job.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTyler, this made me laugh on the inside, it was funny using American Independence for this, like new years (new country new me?). I particularly liked how your character was waiting and started to lose hope and then all the sudden his dream girl actually showed up. That tells the reader to trust the process.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the setting that you established in the beginning, and i also enjoyed the falling in love, in one night moments that you included. It made me laugh when no one showed up, because that would be my biggest fear of throwing a party. Great piece!
ReplyDelete-Kynoa V
I think it was really interesting how you set the time as 1776 right after American independence. With the speaker's worries if anyone was going to show up and his infatuation with Kay, it really shows how everyone, no matter the time, worries about friends and relationships.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. I especially liked that the setting was right after the American war for independence. It was well written and easy to follow.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the idea that you used such a historic day for the setting. You turned this into a romance type of tone and I really enjoyed the meaning behind the story.
ReplyDeleteThe allusion in this story with George Washington and gaining our independence with Britain was well put into the story with your New Years party. Glad to hear that everything turned out so well for you at the end.
ReplyDeleteI love it!!! It was fantastic that you incorporated the birth of our nation to such a great experience for your character. There was great suspense and a surprising twist! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI loved how historic this story was and how personal it was at the same time. Your story truly made me laugh. Great job!!
ReplyDelete