I clenched the little blue box. She
didn’t know of the small diamond ring that glistened inside. Sundry pastel flowers
filled the room and tears rushed to my eyes as I looked at all of the pictures
of us together. She looks absolutely stunning in them all, her round hazel
eyes, deep-cut dimples, her olive skin glowing with allurement, and her jet-black
hair cascaded down her. I never thought that a goofy guy like me would ever be
loved by such a tenacious, brilliant, charming, independent, considerate woman
but somehow she managed to fall for me too. Love really has no boundaries…
♥
♥ ♥
It had been 13 months since my Staff
Sergeant left for Afghanistan. I looked forward to our phone calls every night.
We would endlessly talk about life on opposite sides of the globe, about how
many children we desired, where we would settle down (she always advocated for
a beach house while I attested to live in the suburbs), where we would travel
given the chance, our aspirations and our trepidations, but, every night we
ended the same. A prayer for our safety (especially hers) and something that we
loved about the other were the last words we uttered each night.
On March 13th, however,
it went a little differently. I had a lot on my mind so our call had been
particularly long. I spoke to her about the visit I took to her parents’ house:
“Scarlett,”
I whispered, “I saw your parents today…”
She
eagerly responded, “How are they?! How was it?”
“It
started out pleasantly, but it… Never mind, how was your day sweetheart?”
“Uneventful.
What happened? What did they say?” She persistently inquired about the exchange
I had with her parents.
“It’s
not a big deal.” I tried to assure her but my efforts were futile so proceeded
I blurt, “Your father thinks I am unfit for you!”
There
was silence for a few minutes as she collected her thoughts. “Why do you say
that,” she said lowly.
“He
thinks lesser of me because I did not join the Marines like you did! I’m sick
of him looking down on me because his DAUGHTER joined the military and her
boyfriend didn’t! I’m not less of a man because of the profession YOU chose!” I
was overcome by anger and I didn’t realize I was howling at her, when she
wasn’t the one I was mad at. “I’m sorry Scarlett, I’m not resentful toward you;
I’m just hurt that he belittles my choice. I’m truly delighted that you do what
you love and that you don’t let anyone hold you back, including me. I hope you
can forgive me.”
I
heard a muffled sniffle, but she responded calmly, “I understand it is
difficult for you, especially with my father, but I felt that our love could
withstand the criticism of others.” I then could hear her voice begin to
quiver, “I fell in love with you because you are clever, comical, composed,
forgiving, because I see my future with you, because you’re YOU!” There was a
long pause.
“Scarlett…
I am amazed by your constant dauntlessness and compassion. You complete me and
I can’t fathom life without you. I apologize from the bottom of my heart; you bring
out the best in me and I’m ecstatic for what life has in store for us and for
when you come back home in a few months! I love you.”
“I
love you too,” she responded. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow Jacob, I have to assist
with our next mission. I promise the wait won’t seem long, June is around the
corner!”
“Goodbye
my love, stay safe! I can’t wait to hear your voice and see your bright face
again!” And just like that the call concluded, but little did she know, she
would be Staff Sergeant Reese when
she returned to work.
When the phone rang, I eagerly jumped
up to answer it disregarding the fact that it was much earlier than usual. To
my astonishment however, Scarlett wasn’t the person on the phone; it was her
mother. She asked me to sit down, which I complied. She was sobbing apprehensively
for quite some time and I began to distress. Scarlett’s father proceeded to
grab the phone and divulged. I’ll never forget the agony in his voice when he
told me Scarlett was coming home early. I knew what this meant and began to
lament immediately. I hung up and my
thoughts went directly to our last phone call. I was in a frenzy as I cursed to
the heavens; pleading that is was merely disinformation! Later, I helped her
parents make all of the arrangements, not for our wedding, but for her funeral.
♥
♥ ♥
As I sit and study all the
photographs, I wonder about the little blue box in my pocket and her broken
promise, I would be waiting eternally… I would give anything to even have a
glimpse of her. As they were presenting the flag I stared straight at her
casket… When the ceremony concluded, I began to walk to her. Once there, I
pulled out the little blue box. I knelt beside her and proclaimed, “Scarlett
Elizabeth Martinez, I knew from the moment I met you that you would be the most
special woman I would ever meet. We’ve been through many trials, but also shared
an abundance of joy. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone other than
you! Will you marry me?” I kissed the box and placed it gently on her casket.
This is truly a sad tale, its another reminder that life can be unpredictable and tragic. Good work, I was glued to your piece as soon as I touched it.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly written! A perfect tragic tale from beginning to end. It had me in tears by the end. I love the passionate and loving tone from beginning to end as well as the thought of everlasting love.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story! I love the detail you had in this, when describing Scarlett. This story is so heartbreaking, especially the last section when he speaks to her casket.
ReplyDeleteI love your piece, because it describes the true love of individuals that withstand all obstacles. Even though this was a tragedy, the characters in this story had the most love that was possible because they had each other. Thank you for writing this, it made me realize how short life is and how there may not be the "next phone call," so we should cherish everyone in our lives for as long as we can.
ReplyDeleteThis piece had lots of imagery that allowed for readers to perfectly envision what you were writing. This is an interesting and equally sad story. It did make me get a little teary-eyed, but it was well worth the read. Great job, Sam!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started reading your story I was expecting a different outcome and I was given quite a surprise. I liked how it was written because it made me believe that everything was going to end perfectly. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so touching, the end of the story was unexpected with the shift of tone from more bright to a more depressing as he was planning to marry her then planning her funeral. This shows us a great example of true love as he had his mind set to proposing to her and still proposed after her death at her funeral. Thanks for this piece!
ReplyDeleteI'm usually not a sucker for love stories, but I truly enjoyed this piece. Your story not only had great sequence and organization in the way it was written, but it was almost as if it was straight out of a movie script. This personally touched my heart because I plan on joining the military myself and I constantly think of the risk I will be taking. You gave a heartbreaking twist, but it was eye opening because not everything has a happy ending. This was a great piece, good job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the story, as it touched my heart and conveyed a very important message. It showed how life can be short and unpredictable and one should do the most with it and never have regrets. You did a great job describing the type of love the two characters had, which brought the story to life. Overall, great work and keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI loved your story so much !!! It was very well structured and I like how you had Jacob the guy be the one waiting for his love Scarlet, because in movies and in books we mostly see the story of the male said through the voice of his wife or loved one. I really enjoyed reading this little story and it made me want to cry a little because of how realistic it seemed?
ReplyDeleteThe books that i read are similar to this. They have a romantic plot line and i adore the way authors can create such intimate stories. You did just that. I love how in this story, the woman was the strong independent woman. You were able to wrap multiple feelings into a few short words.
ReplyDeleteYour story captured me in the moment it started with it's extensive imagery and I truly felt as if I was experiencing the story with Jacob. The dialogue you included was relatable to the reader and was also a nice way to further the story plot. I also liked how you kept mentioning the future proposal and carried on the story. When you said he was planning not their wedding, but their funeral, you really touched the reader and their emotions. Way to tie in the story as well, with Jacob proposing to the casket at the funeral.
ReplyDeleteHey Sam! While reading this piece I really enjoyed the alternating perspectives throughout the story. This really showed the complexity of the characters that we got to know in such a short time. Got me in the feels...
ReplyDeleteThe crazy plot twist at the end of this story completely dropped my jaw. The piece shifted from a passionate love story to a tragedy. I found it interesting that you switched the gender roles of the characters putting the woman in war instead of the guy. This story was interesting form beginning to end and kept a strong story line, nice work.
ReplyDeleteThis story left me surprised. I really loved the use of imagery to describe all the small details. The plot twist was so unexpected but it made the story really interesting. I really enjoyed it. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow This story was beautifully written. The shift in tone from happy and optimistic to sad made it relatable to those man and woman over seas who dont get to see their loved ones again. Great story!
ReplyDeleteA true tragic love story, I like how it keeps that tender feeling of love throughout the story. The honest and unconditional love can be seen from the beginning to the end. My favorite part was when he proposed to her at her burial. Very well written, good job.
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the best pieces i've read so far, and all of them have been great. But the attention that was put on every detail of the story, the imagery, all of it established strong emotions. The transition from a "love conquers all" theme to a "life is unpredictable" tragedy was done beautifully, especially when he proposed at the funeral. Coming from a person with two brothers in the military overseas, you truly captured what it feels to pray for the safety of the soldiers and appreciation of what they do. I don't how to explain this, but you wrote this to where you could feel the love between the two characters, even at the end. Great job on this, was truly an amazing read.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really well written tragic story. It was interesting to see a different perspective of that of a man whose loved one is in the military. Your detailed imagery helped me to picture what I imagined to be the woman and it helped to create a connection between the reader and the character. Because of this when we hear of the death of the woman, the reader feels sympathy for her death and for her husband. I really enjoyed this story, especially since it is true of many military families who always have to deal with not knowing if their son/daughter or wife/husband will ever return.
ReplyDeleteThe piece that you presented was genuinely heart-wrenching! I loved the way you started the story, providing deliberate detail without giving away any information on who you were describing. I was immediately absorbed into the romance and loved that you implemented the theme that love triumphs all. Scarlet’s death was the perfect plot twist as it really signifies the differences between the father and her boyfriend and that it took the love and courage to overcome it and plan her funeral together. The last paragraph was the also induced intense sadness in presenting what the narrator wished for but can never have. Overall, the piece was written with powerful emotion and dialog. Great job!
ReplyDeleteIt was truly tragic. Normally I'm not into love romantic stories but I do like your tie from the beginning to the end. The little blue box brings emphasize to the true meaning of their relationship. And above a ll you have great vocabulary I think that's what kept me reading. I was impressed.
ReplyDeleteThis story has true depth because it takes traditional literary and societal roles and creates new situations to give food for thought to the audience. The tragedy intermixed with the romantic element between the two main characters really functions to emphasize the need for an appreciation of the individual for their contribution, regardless of what we conceive to be their purpose. As a whole this piece really reinforces the love we should all have for one another, no matter what condition life puts us in. Thank you for sharing Sam!
ReplyDeleteAmazing use of vivid imagery and detail that you put into this piece of fine art. I was captivated throughout, well done!
ReplyDeleteAwww .... a good tragedy, it's bittersweet! I liked the way you executed this story, though, it was enjoyable to read... I think having Scarlet pass was a good, but very sad plot twist. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story. I like the way you described Scarlet, and the story flows really well. It is definitely a sad story, but it was an enjoyable read. good job.
ReplyDeleteThis piece has left me speechless, it is an amazing love story between two people that does not conform to the typical "romantic tales" of today. I really admired the switch in gender roles and the effect it has on the story and in their relationship. By displaying the strength of the two characters' relationship with each other, the audience had no choice but to instantly develop an attachment to them and develop some sort of hope that Jacob will successfully propose to Scarlett, as foreshadowed in the beginning. But in the end it took a big twist and broke our hearts, at least mine. Great job, Sam!
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery, detail, and shift in tone makes this story truly a sad but captivating one to read. It was well structured and well written, a very enjoyable piece to read
ReplyDeleteWow this is a really good story! As everyone else has mentioned you have such great detail and I felt like everything flowed just right. I always enjoy reading a story that I can view what is happening so ur use of imagery was great. Thank you for sharing this piece of work with us
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story. And it is so because of your tactic of continuously building up their connection so it hits even harder when it is shatter. A truly great piece on your part.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this love story. It was well structured and it all flowed together nicely. Somewhat tragic but it shows what's real not another generic love story with a soppy happy ending. I appreciate the originality. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this peice it was very interesting and sad. Your flow and use of detail is used in a great way and i really enjoyed this story, has to be one of my favorites!
ReplyDeleteYou're story was a sudden turn for the worst that shocked me as a reader that there is a sense of optimism for the best in this role switched relationship but it showed what I dreaded to hear. I loved how you made the story flow and wrote against societal standards relationship and gender wise. Thank you so much for sharing this :)
ReplyDeletelove it so much.... OMG I loved it so much Sam!!! It was so good gosh almost had me crying. Wow i really liked your writing style. Your writing style really improved.
ReplyDeleteI Loved how you changed the typical character arrangement with the women at home and the man out fighting the war. The romance aspect of it was very cute and even though very sad they were very touching.
ReplyDeletelove it so much.... OMG I loved it so much Sam!!! It was so good gosh almost had me crying. Wow i really liked your writing style. Your writing style really improved.
ReplyDeleteYour piece was very well written. The use of descriptive words helped me to understand just how deeply the characters felt towards each other. I felt the speaker'a pain over the death of the woman he thought he would have a lifetime with.
ReplyDelete