Find the shape and tell it!
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
"How a Pipe Learned To Be a Diamond" by Maezelle M
Forty seconds left, the score is tied 56 to 56. As I dribbled up the court I took a
glance at my coach. His lips formed an O shape urging me to “Go!” and attack my defender
as the clock winded down in our first game of the season. I looked straight ahead to face the
basket, and saw the 6’2 player on the opposing team who had already stolen the ball from
me twice this game. I immediately remembered to put my arm up as I watched her
confidently squat in a defensive stance, preparing to swipe the ball from me once again. As
the point guard, I’m expected to take care of the ball while I set up our offense, but right
then and there, I felt like a quarterback seconds away from getting tackled. I tried to snap
myself out of it. I bent low until my eyes were at the same level as my opponent’s. Keeping
the ball on my right side and away from her scrappy hands, I threw my body to the right to
fake the defender, then made a crossover move to the left. It worked! I drove past her and
prepared to score. As I extended my hand to lay the ball up, one of the other players on the
opposing team attempted to block it, hitting my arm on the way. All three referees
simultaneously blew their whistles to make one collectively loud sound, signaling a foul. I
had a chance to give my team a twopoint a lead with 27 seconds left in the game. I slowly
walked to the free throw line as my teammates patted me on the back and gave me high
fives. They expressed their excitement, each yelling “Maezelle, you got this!” or “Put it in
Maez,” or “OHHH YEAAAH I SEE YOU BABY.” Words of encouragement filled my ear but
quickly turned into threats inside my head. They’re telling me I have to make it, I thought.
The crowd’s applause caused my heart to beat even faster as I stood still behind the free
throw line. The referee gently passed me the ball and the crowd instantly silenced. I
bounced it once, twice, and then stared at the basket in my shooting position. Then I shot
the ball. It trickled in and out of the rimc
lank, clankand
fell on the groundthug.
The opposing team’s fans cheered. But my teammates reassured me and again, spurred me on,
this time with a nervous tone. The ball was passed to me the second time, and again the
spectators ceased making noise. It was so quiet I could hear the sound of own heartbeat. I
tried to calm my mind, thinking to myself, you just have to make this one shot and you can
lead your t eam to a win. Just one shot. I went through my dribbling routine, squared up,
and shot the ball, hoping to hear a swish this time around. Every single person in the gym
stared at the ball as it floated in the air and hit the side of the basket. The opposite team
rebounded the ball and their coach immediately called a timeout.
My hands were shaking
as I ran to our team’s bench. I just blew not one, but two chances of winning the game. My
teammates and coaches released optimistic sounds from their mouths while their faces
evidently showed disappointment. I tried to remain confident throughout the rest of the
game until we eventually lost in overtime.
The following days were filled with various shooting drills, ceaselessly training my
body to make a free throw. I shot 200 shots a day, trying to regain my confidence. But the
irony was, if I was asked to do these drills before that first game, I would’ve made the same
amount. Free throws were a piece of cake even before, and I knew that. Yet, I kept shooting
my free throws to convince myself that if I can engrain the perfect motion into my shooting
form, I’ll make those game winning shots next time. However, as I kept on shooting, I
realized that making a shot at the end of a game isn’t about training my body, rather it’s
about training my mind. How come I make free throws almost 100% of the time in practice
and miss half of the time in games? It’s because in practice, I’m relaxed and confident. In
games, I’m tense and nervous. I allow the pressure to get to me, so I don’t shoot the same
way that I usually do. Missing those game clinching
free throws taught me that I succeed only when I have the right mentality. No matter the preparation, if I get intimidated byo utside factors, I will undoubtedly fail. But, if I instead take in that pressure, turn it into my b*tch, and still be my best in a situation, I will accomplish my goals. At that moment, I trulyunderstood the quote “Pressure can burst a pipe, or pressure can make a diamond.”
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23 comments:
I think that this was incredibly well written and perfectly portrays how it feels to be an athlete. Many people forget that conditioning must transcend physical training and must include mental training so you do not psych yourself out and you detailed this perfectly. I think the thorough account of the game made the piece very strong, but I think the portion on your improving your mindset could have been a bit more detailed to show that it is just as important. Overall very good job :)
This story is truly amazing. You did an incredible job of showing the the full experience of an athlete in a high pressure situation. The game setting was very detailed and it can be seen that it was well thought out. The intensity of the game was displayed very well and really shows how you struggled in a real game situation, and the fact you went through and ended with a loss but do not directly highlight this detail allows you to show that it was not the end of the world and helps lead into the next section of the piece where you go on to talk about how the game is more mental then physical. The only thing I would change is quick proof reading to fix minor details toward the end of your piece, everything else was wonderful.
This story is truly amazing. You did an incredible job of showing the the full experience of an athlete in a high pressure situation. The game setting was very detailed and it can be seen that it was well thought out. The intensity of the game was displayed very well and really shows how you struggled in a real game situation, and the fact you went through and ended with a loss but do not directly highlight this detail allows you to show that it was not the end of the world and helps lead into the next section of the piece where you go on to talk about how the game is more mental then physical. The only thing I would change is quick proof reading to fix minor details toward the end of your piece, everything else was wonderful.
A very inspiring story! I liked how your story revolved around the idea that sports is not just about brawn and muscles. You really highlighted the fact that it takes a strong mental state to perform on a elite level, and you did in such a descriptive manner. In such a way that i pictured myself in your situation, and it made my heart race with you. All in all a very good piece.
Maezelle! I think you did an amazing job describing the pressure athletes deal with on the court, from teammates, fans, and most importantly oneself. It was honest and really well connected and thought out. You showed the value that playing sports has on the individual and demonstrated the amount of dedication and both mental and physical training it takes to be successful in the game and in life. This piece had a lot of detail and your use of imagery was strong. My only critique would be that I wanted to read more about the difference between your mental and physical training.
I loved this story so much and as a basketball fan, I do not fully understand the pressure of basketball players and you explained it well! I was actually able to feel the pressure as if I was in the game. I also enjoyed your reflective part towards the end of the story! Truly an amazing job and I love the imagery displayed.
This short story was very well written. I applaud you for your very descriptive language that ultimately allowed you to portray your main idea accurately and effectively. It was both interesting and enjoyable to read and had a great message in the end. Fantastic job!
Every detail you mentioned accurately portrays the life of an athlete. There are games where you make mistakes, but it's what you do with them that truly defines us. I related a lot to this story and although we play different sports, it brings about almost a camaraderie and definitely a smile to my face when you mention the work you put in after your free throws. The details of the game from your stance to lay up to your thought process really connect the readers to you. Great job!
The details you used in the story really helped me feel as if i were in the situation myself. When I read the story, I could almost feel the Hear the croud, feel the pressure and completely understand the speaker's anxiety as she put up those go-ahead shots. You did a really good job at drawing in the audience with a simple story.
This was so intense!! I like where you started your story. that first sentence instantly grabbed my attention. All the details made me feel like I was in the audience, watching you play. Your descriptions really display the aggressive atmosphere in the game. I like that you wrote about one of your weaknesses, that was really bold. I like how you twisted the "words of encouragement" into "threats." This story was flawless and very intense. Love it!
I really loved this story because it made me feel all these different emotions. First I was eager to find out what the outcome of the game would be and if you would overcome your conflict. Then when you didn't make the free throws I was sad, but glad to know that at the end you come to realize that the mentality in a game is just as important as the physical part. This story also connected to the audience not only because it was true, but because they could also relate to this in sports or even in school. Overcoming an obstacle can be hard but you showed that if you face it head on and have the right attitude, it can be just as easy.
I really liked this story because it perfectly summarized how being an athlete is not just about training your body but it is also about training your mind. You did an amazing job at describing the amount of pressure you felt at the free throw line through your use of specific details, imagery, and descriptive language. Overall, I feel that you did a wonderful job describing your personal experience and in conveying your understanding of the importance of maintaining your in-game confidence in order to be successful. Good Job!
I really enjoyed this story because not only was the image of an what it means to be an athlete precisely depicted, but also you were able to demonstrate and allow the reader to visualize the intense feeling of a close game from the perspective of the athlete. You did an exceptional job on building suspense for the reader and creating imagery to feel the pressure of the game by describing how the audience attentively watched the ball as it was released.
I have only watched sports and never actually actively participated in them, because of my lack of athletic ability. Your piece gives an amazing insight into the high intensity of sports and the pressure that comes along with playing them, that I was never fully aware of. Your use of imagery and you personal connection to the sport of basketball really makes your piece one of a kind. Nice job!
-Madyson Hidalgo
I have only watched sports and never actually actively participated in them, because of my lack of athletic ability. Your piece gives an amazing insight into the high intensity of sports and the pressure that comes along with playing them, that I was never fully aware of. Your use of imagery and you personal connection to the sport of basketball really makes your piece one of a kind. Nice job!
-Madyson Hidalgo
I love this story because it isn't cliche. Even though you didn't make the shot, you got up the next day and put in the extra training so that you could learn and get better. This piece truly embodies the belief that an athlete's greatness isn't determined by how many wins or losses they have, its the amount of time they put into their training, the amount of self-instilled discipline they have, and their willingness to get up everyday and try again.
I honestly love basketball because I watch my brother coach it. It not only is interesting, but very hard work intensive due to all the skills required to achieve this goal of scoring into the basket. This story shows the hard work and dedication of the sport which is why this is a great story that could inspire young people like us to strive to farther reaches in our life. A great story indeed.
I honestly love basketball because I watch my brother coach it. It not only is interesting, but very hard work intensive due to all the skills required to achieve this goal of scoring into the basket. This story shows the hard work and dedication of the sport which is why this is a great story that could inspire young people like us to strive to farther reaches in our life. A great story indeed.
The way you use imagery to paint the image of you playing basketball is well done, and also the scene that you are portraying really plays out as we go on reading. The references to another sport and using it as a simile made me laugh suprisingly, because you are in basketball and you decided to use football similes.
-Kynoa V.
As a retired tennis star (not really, I just stopped playing tennis), it is easy to relate to how the pressure affected your performance in game. I would often ask similar questions such as, "Why can I do this during practice but not during actual matches?" The feeling you felt when you missed those two opportunities to win the game is a feeling I have felt many times throughout my time as a competitive tennis player. So many missed chances because of pressure, and like you I would work even harder during practice to make sure it wouldn'5 happen again. I like the quote you added at the end, and I really wish I saw that quote before I stopped playing tennis. Overall, I felt the story was very enjoyable and relateable as well. However, there were a few mistakes in terms of grammar and spelling, but a simple proof read would fix that. Nonetheless a great story and read! Wow Maezelle, great moves. Keep it up. Proud if you.
- Cody T.
As I have not played basketball for 10 years, I am not as familiar with how the game is played as I once was, but from what I do know, you did a great job translating the game into text. I felt the anticipation when you went up to the basket to shoot, and a slight feel of dread when I thought "Oh no. She's going to miss isn't she?". The types of imagery you used, mostly visual, make it almost as if the reader is in the audience with you. Great job.
As I have not played basketball for 10 years, I am not as familiar with how the game is played as I once was, but from what I do know, you did a great job translating the game into text. I felt the anticipation when you went up to the basket to shoot, and a slight feel of dread when I thought "Oh no. She's going to miss isn't she?". The types of imagery you used, mostly visual, make it almost as if the reader is in the audience with you. Great job.
I really enjoyed this piece because I can relate to it, the game the people around you, you can crack at anytime. It's a high pressure envoirmet when playing against another team or person. The imagery in this story is in such detail it's amazing good job!!!
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