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Monday, May 2, 2016

"The Life We Would Have Led" by Sophia J.


    Vanessa's mom told her that Seth was probably the first man she ever truly loved, and Vanessa just started to cry, because she knew it was true. The thing about love is you don't know you had it until you've start to fall out of it. Seth wasn't the kind of boyfriend that drank too much or didn't pay the bills, he was sweet and gentle, and good to Vanessa's family. It wasnt Vanessa's fault either, she tried to keep the sparks flying but the passionate love died with them. The dates weren't filled with laughter, just uncomfortable silence and there was more chemistry between them and the bread than with each other. The nights were spent with backs to each other and the television still stuck on the news. It wasn't the cozy old couple type of relationship, they were 28 and 29, but they just couldn't fill up the space any longer.
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    Seth was a junior, 16, when he met Vanessa, a sophomore who was still 15. The conversation started out a bit hesitant, and the only reason  Seth sat at the bench Vanessa was at was because they were waiting for their group to show up, but they had never talked to each other before that. The talking was a good kind of awkward, though, and they clicked. One conversation led to hanging out before school and during lunch. A month later, Vanessa confessed that she had feelings and Seth reciprocated and they began a long period of adoration for each other surrounded by comfort and the word they hadn't said quite yet.
    Their first kiss was innocent yet intimate, cuddled up on the couch in Seth's mother's house, soaking each other in. The first few birthdays and anniversaries were genuine and filled with child-like excitement in celebrating their existences independently and together. The first time they said “I love you” was in her bed on Christmas, and they didn't wholly understand it yet, but they knew that they felt something overwhelming. Holidays began to fly by in blurs of love letters, candy, and kisses. Life was simple before things changed. Love was simple before it was lost.
    Once they went off to college, they started to make their own friends in their majors and social circles. They had their own agendas, but still put effort into date nights and remained interested in the interests of the other. Eventually, Seth began to settle into his career, as did Vanessa and they ran out of the time to organize date nights every weekend or find new things to talk about over dinner. Seth and Vanessa didn't notice this difference in the beginning, they were blissful but busy, and still gave each other attention when they had the time and the energy. The energy eventually died out and the time along with it. Seth started putting in overtime for the money that he insisted they needed and Vanessa stopped expecting him to sit down to dinner with her. Their relationship became monotonous, an unhappy routine of almost ignoring each other throughout the day.
    What used to be love, turned into a business partnership. Vanessa worked, Seth worked. She came home and ate dinner by herself then put his in the microwave before she went to bed. He came home late, ate his dinner, and only slept in the bed half of the time and when he did it was opposite where Vanessa was laying. Weekends were spent talking politics or jobs if anything, and were mostly spent out of the house or on the television so they didn't have to face the silence.
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    It was then, in her mom's car that she broke down, realizing how much she had loved Seth when they were much younger and how little she did now. Love was something she had forgotten in the hustle and bustle of her work and her life outside of her home. She had fallen out of love and it didn't truly hurt until she realized it.

10 comments:

  1. Wow this was a great piece! I liked how you described characters feelings the way that you did and how it affected them. Great work
    -Per 5

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  2. Hey Sophia! This piece is great! I love how you described the characters' daily lives and connect it to their feelings towards each other. You were successful in allowing your readers to feel the emotions that's present in the story. Also, I like the way you organized this because it creates a very dramatic effect.

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  3. I enjoyed this piece a lot because it really revealed the reality of a lot of peoples situations. life sometimes takes a turn for the worst and people have to learn to deal with them in their own ways. Your piece was very well written and really had me interested. Great job

    victoria hurtado
    period 5

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  4. This was really really good Sophia! The way you described how they kept repeating the same days again and again made us really feel bad for poor Vanessa. This piece really makes us keep in mind how important it is for us to keep our relationships fresh and whatnot. Great job yo!
    -Antonio Barron P: 3

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  5. How unfortunately realistic. Great depiction of the change in their relationship over time with the contrasts of the past and present

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  6. Sophia,
    This was such an amazing piece with great illustrations from the excitement and energy of her youth to the bland, mundane routines of their present selves. I can understand and empathize with their hurt and this gradual loss in feelings and it just makes you want to cry along with Vanessa. I adore your organization of this piece so we are exposed to their state as of now and then to the description of their love life so we can truly feel their slow loss in feelings. Good job!

    -Amber Tacderan, Period 2

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  7. Wow! This easily describes one of my worst fears. The feeling of being too busy to love and cherish your significant other is a scary thought. I loved your use of imagery and details regarding Seth and Vanessa's life. I also loved how you separated the last three sentences, it leaves the reader to reflect on the entire piece. Your strong vocabulary and creativity, made your piece one to remember! Great job!

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  8. This is a wonderful peace. It showed the unfortunate story of falling out of love. Not the way that Hollywood shows, drama screaming and all that, but the slow degrading over time. I really liked how you showed us the relationship before they separated to show how they both had felt when they were younger. And allowed to see how they both had slowly without warning had fallen out of love.
    -Marvin Virola
    P5

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  9. This was an absolute amazing piece with lots of emotion and detail. I love how it was so realistic and it really got me thinking. I loved the structure of the story and how it was all came out. Overall I really enjoyed reading it.

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  10. Oh my goodness this piece was heart warming and heart breaking all at the same time! I absolutely loved your intimate descriptions and the time you took to carve out each of the characters. I think the parallels and the realization at the end of your piece tied in really well together! Overall, great job!

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