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Monday, November 30, 2015

"Discovering Fire" by Michael D.

        35,000 BC searching around, scavenging for any thing to fill my stomach. Traveling with my brothers to make the trip less agonizing to bring food back to our village. It's been days without the love from my wife and children which hurts me deeply. I continue to pray for the loyalty of my woman, while she is the most praised at our village. During the winter, the snow floods the entire hemisphere and the breeze is brutal. Finding shelter for all of our men is vital for our survival. As we look for plants and berries to collect, we spot a cave a mile north east. It brings us joy to have an opportunity to rest and gather our thoughts. As we enter the cave, the smell of dampness and coco butter fills our nose. I analyze the cave lit up with red luminescent lights. The walls are filled up with pictures of a young man. We continue to be puzzled as we search the rest of the cave for clues for these preposterous images. Until we see "Trapsoul" written on a rock. I pick it up and a sound of beauty fills my ears as our whole pack falls deep into their feelings. We are amused by such a greatness that is being projected from the rock, we bring it back to our village. As we arrive with this gift of life, the whole village is awoken and starts to cry tears of happiness. It was as if the great sound had solved our problem of hunger. Soon other villages travel from far and wide to feast their ears on such greatness. Our tribe continues to prosper, while gifts of food and diamonds are given in exchange for listening to the magical sound. The days and nights were filled with the beautiful sound, but soon it started to get out of hand. Soon the village began to die out, as I was the only one left listening to it. Until I finally realized my soul was trapped.

5 comments:

  1. Awesome twist. The story makes you want to keep reading to find out what is so special about this rock. This is well written and organized that even traps the reader into yearning to know the rocks power.

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  2. Really great story! I thought it was going to be a happy ending with all the villagers but no instead they all died with only you left alone. Great twist at the end Michael!


    JC Bagro
    Period 3

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  3. I loved how well you described the setting and how much you went into detail. But I wish you described the stone and how "it trapped" the soul or how the village died out.
    P5
    -Marvin Virola

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  4. I like how you left us wanting to know more about this rock and what it means. The story is nicely written and uses images to enhance the plot.

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  5. This is a great story! I could really visualize the setting. The flow of this story was amazing and the topic was unique and I really liked it. Good job!

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