“Ouch.”
I woke up rubbing my head on the cold hard ground, scared and confused. “
I don’t remember falling asleep here? Where am I?” I thought to myself.
Uncertain to where I was or why I was here, I stand up to find a cuff on
my ankle, which was attached to the wall. Struggling, pulling, and fighting to
get the cuff off my ankle and a familiar size shadow covers the light over me.
“Nick!” I said as if I had never been so excited to see
my sisters high school friend before. Not saying a word
, he unlocks my cuff and stands there and looks at me for a minute. “Nick
please help…” before I could finish , he reaches for my legs and
drags me across the concrete, where I bump my head on a cement
stair putting me back into a unconscious nightmare.
Suddenly, I was back in my house
sitting on my couch around the people who loved me. Dad, sitting in his
faded brown chair that has been in the same spot for as long as I could
remember. My sister Jordynn, laughing next to nick just like old
times. Timmy, mixing his protein shake ready to hit the gym, for the
third time today. I heard a familiar voice from my right.
“Ashley!! Smile!!!” said my best friend Lauren while raising her
slightly cracked iPhone , ready to capture this perfect moment. She lifts her
phone at an angle to capture both of us in the picture, she looks recognizable
, but me not so much. Within the picture , I see blood dripping down my
forehead. "What ?" I say softly to myself. Then , a familiar pain
arises in my head. All at once , everything looks different, everyone
disappearing into a black abyss.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! I feel every
cement stair my body hits as I woke up from my dream feeling as if I was
still in a nightmare. I was being pulled into a room of people I just not
yet met. Unconsciously opening my eyes , these people looked
familiar. "Dad?" I say questioning whether or not that is him. He
turns around , and all I see are cuts and bruises from the stairs that lead us
into this nightmare. "DADDY!" I scream trying to run toward him,
while I see I am restricted to the same chain and cuff that I had see before.
Crying , i find myself in the same position, trying to break free of this
nightmare. "THEYRE COMING!", Jordynn , who I had not seen in the
room, yelled. "Please someone tell me what going on." I yelled,
frantically tugging on the chain , feeling as if I were only making it worse.
Four shadows emerged down that
set of cement stairs, all dressed in white. Lauren, my best friend. Nick, My
sisters friend who had put me in this misery. Tim, my brothers best friend ,
who ironically share the same name. Last in line , with the door shutting
behind her, my own mom. I couldn't put together why they were all just standing
there while it was obvious my family and I need serious attention. They all
lined up in front of us, while my mom began to say. "We have all brought
you here, for our own separate reasons. Each of us has decided to kill one of
you." I began to cry. I couldn't imagine what my family and I could have
done to deserve this. "What ?" I said softly to myself hoping no one
could hear me.
Immediately after I had spoken,
each of them had pulls out the weapon of their choice, and proceeded to walk
toward us. Lauren walked toward me , holding a gun. I tensed up , contemplating
whether our friendship was real or not. She pulled the trigger. CLICK.
Frantically gasping for air and
wiping the sweat from my forehead , I checked the clock near my beside table to
find that it was 2:00 in the morning. Still heavily
breathing , I was relieved to say for what felt like the millionth time since
my existence, " Oh thank goodness, it was only a dream."
An amazing and suspenseful story! It made me nervous, anxious, happy, and sad in three different paragraphs! I love the way you were able to use two different stories, yet combine them into one; very creative and clever! The use of syntax and imagery allowed me to picture I was in every dream of yours (although hopefully that doesn't happen). Your use of dialogue allowed the character to portray every emotion that was expressed, making me further involved and attentive of the story.
ReplyDelete- Samar Elshekh
Period 3
Impressive, enjoyed the dark, eerie tone to the story. Also, I liked the part where you "wake up" only to be sent back into the nightmare. Liked this story
ReplyDeleteReally liked this one im a big fan off any scary or horror realted. I enjoyed it alot, when we hit the climax i actually thought she was gone but then she woke up! Loved it.-Ashley Garcia
ReplyDeleteThe story was very thrilling, it keeps the readers on their toes wondering what's going to happen next. I'm not a big fan of "horror" related stories or movies however, I really enjoyed this story.The dialogue and syntax you used made the character seem more realistic; as the fear from the main character rose the more I wanted to read your story.
ReplyDelete-Miren Cancio
Period 5
I like the detail of the story and how you kept it thrilling throughout the whole story and when you included your family and friends torturing you that made me excited about what came next
ReplyDelete-Dylan May
Period 1
What initially caught my eye as I was scrolling through the blog was the title of this story. It drew me in and lured me into reading this entry first. I really enjoyed the use of detail within the story. The small description like "slightly cracked iPhone" made the story more realistic. Considering the short length of the story, the plot is surprisingly complex. I am personally not a fan of horror but the suspense in this story was admirable and I couldn't resist to read on, so well done!
ReplyDeleteSabrina H
Period 2
The title of this, caught my eye so I had to read it. All I have to say, is that it was perfectly written with your illusions of sleep! I have to admit, we all have those crazy dreams that make us wake up at 1 or 2 in the morning and you summed it up amazingly!
ReplyDelete-Destynee Torres
Period 4
I enjoy your scary story. The story was so unpredictable that made me enjoy it more. I look forward to see more of your work.
ReplyDelete-Jordan Do
Period 1
What caught my attention was the title because recently I had a nightmare where I new it was just a dream but I couldnt wake myself up. The second paragraph is very vivid and easy for readers to paint a picture of. All dads have a hangout spot. Most older brothers are victims to protein shakes. Everyone on team iphone has cracks on their phone.The story became a little familar for a few seconds. I tend to shy away from horror related works but I enjoyed reading this fun short story.
ReplyDeleteJeannette Martinez
Period 2
The title alone drew me in, but the suspense made me stay. I’m squeamish when it comes to anything scary, but I was too invested to shy away. The dialogue depicts the characters emotions wonderfully and made for an exciting read. Like everyone, I have an occasional nightmare that wakes me up in the middle of the night and the last line captures that moment of relief perfectly.
ReplyDelete-Darian Henry
period 2
Wow! love the overall story. I've always been into dark and suspenseful pieces of literature so I was immediately drawn to your work. Its clear that you really thought about what you were writing because of the diction used and use of such vivid imagery that pertain to the theme of your work. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAlicia Alcaraz
Period 5
I really enjoyed your short story! Right off the back , the title had me thinking and as I continued to read , all I wanted to do was keep reading so I could see where you were going to take the story next. I really like how you were so descriptive because it enabled me to feel like I was bumping my head up against stairs too! Lol. My point is, it was cool how you made the story really come to life , just by the way you used things like syntax, diction, and etc. Great job!
ReplyDeleteDominique Washington
Period 2
The detail in this story is amazing. I could feel the suspense and anxiety building up as I wondered what would happen next. The details you gave made it feel real.
ReplyDelete-Emily French
Period 5
This from jump had me really terrified and I am a very scary person, so the fact that I felt like everything happening to the main character was happening to me was really scary for me. But all that really means is that you did a fantastic job bringing this story to life. It was crazy because once I started reading, I didn't want to stop, so really great job here. Very well done!!
ReplyDeleteI like how you got straight to the point of the story and that it was scary, since I like scary stuff! When I imagine this nightmare in real life, it would seem like somebody was going psychotic and crazy!
ReplyDeleteI love this story its so thrilling and full of excitement I know I am not the only one dying to know what happens furthermore if the dream was continued... overall it was a great story and so much imagery!
ReplyDeleteI love how this is kind of like in Divergent when they were in the simulations. I also love how you can really get into the story.
ReplyDeleteHey Ashley! I loved you short story. I loved it so much because I believe that good writing makes people think and yours made me think. I'm sitting imagining the possibility of seeing my loved ones with weapons pointed towards me and then waking up and being like "Phew! It was a dream." But everyone knows that people think their dreams have a deeper meaning then they actually do. I digress but, your story was well-written and thought-invoking.
ReplyDeleteThis was a thrilling flash fiction that led me to want to read more and more! Your use of commentary furthered the suspense, and made myself the reader question what was going to happen next. Also, by using onomatopoeia when writing "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!", increased the thrill level and made me excited for what the rest of the flash fiction had in store. I enjoyed the dark eerie twist and applaud your creativity and brilliant piece of work! Thank you for sharing such an outstanding flash fiction Ashley!
ReplyDeleteMiranda Hidalgo
period.5
Hey Ashley can you please make a part two. Maybe she could have a dream about having a dream only to realize it wasn't a dream. Sorry if that was confusing but it makes sense in my head. Anyways, good job again!
ReplyDeleteThis was the best story I read on this blog! I really enjoyed every part of it, your use of imagery was very vivid and really detailed. I loved these kinds of stories and I was pulled in right away. The more I read the more intrigued I was and when it ended I wanted to read more! Great job!
ReplyDeleteYour story was so thrilling that even after it was done i had chills and was looking for more. I love the way you structured it to give an effect that the scenes were constantly changing and bringing more thrilling events!! Such an amazing and interesting short story.
ReplyDeletePeriod 5
I really enjoyed the various forms of imagery in which contributed to the horror aspect of the piece. Also, I really liked how you incorporated a nightmare within a nightmare, because I personally interpreted this as one who goes through a nightmare, such as a dream, during a nightmarish reality. This story was very suspenseful and evoked all sorts of emotions, like anxiousness, confusion, and sadness just to name a few. Well done Ashley!!
ReplyDelete-Natalia G.
Period 2
WOW! I don't even know where to begin. At first, I clicked on your story because of my love for horror (although I get scared easily). I loved how you actually managed to write a story within a story. The details and imagery used allowed me to picture everything, especially the "BOOM! BOOM! I feel every cement stair my body hits as I woke up from my dream feeling as if I was still in a nightmare." This was very suspenseful and it made me feel what the speaker was going through. Great Job Ashley!
ReplyDelete-Daveena S.
Period 2
Horror and Dreams are a match made in heaven, in a dream state anything is possible and plausible this is often taken advantage of by authors and writers. You had certainly taken advantage of this in this story. You turned the the people who are supposed make us feel safe into those who we fear. You flip that sense of security on its head to create a terrifying situation. Well done!
ReplyDelete-Marvin Virola
P5
Ashley, OH MY GOSH! This short story was incredible. The imagery,detailing, and diction made everything seem so surreal. You made me feel so intrigued; I was just waiting and waiting to get to the end because the suspense was building up so much. I really appreciated this short story of yours. It truly proves that we can never really understand how horrific a nightmare can get. However, I would have really liked knowing how this Nick guy affected your life. You mentioned a couple times that he ruined your life and as a reader I was left in midair waiting to know what Nick did and why he ruined your life. Nevertheless, this piece was great!
ReplyDeleteThis story was so good from the beginning to the end I was on the edge of my seat trying to figure out what was going on . honestly this could make a good short horror film good job
ReplyDelete-Eric Edwards
I can honestly say i really enjoyed this story mostly because it kept pulling me in more and more as i kept reading. I really loved how you were so descriptive! it was almost like i was there which made the story even more interesting and intense for me. I love a great horror story and you definitely did a great job!
ReplyDelete-period 5
Omg Ashely this story was so descriptive.I love this piece. Also, in the beginning so much detail!!! I also love the characters in the story.
ReplyDeleteSo im a freashmen whos commenting on your story.I think that your story was so great and very suspensful.I actully thought that the whole family wanted to kill nick.The first thing that came to my mind was "what did nick do so bad for his parents to kill him?" But then he woke up from that nightmare.All i got to say is Great job this story is the best.If this was a movie you'll forsure get an oscar award.Thats how good this story was.
ReplyDeleteMarco Garcia-Ordaz
period 4
I really like this story, this story got me feeling all different kinds of feelings. I actually felt scared when she had a gun out and shot them that was so unexpected, and how she got bruises everywhere. It was a relief how she was just dreaming.
ReplyDelete-Michelle Truong
Period 1
When i was reading your story i was actually just as confused as the girl who was cuffed up. In the end I had a sense of relief knowing that it was only a dream. This story was very descriptive and it had me at the edge of my seat. When the mom was part of the killing crew, it was unexpected.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, very creative, suspenseful, and original. The story is very unpredictable, and it's gives the reader a sense of insecurity not knowing what would happen after "CLICK." Again, very well done. I appreciated your story, and I'm sure many others did as well. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHello Ashley! This story you wrote was absolutely AMAZING. I first saw the title and did not really know what to expect to happen in this piece but wow! The imagery of this story was so detailed and I could picture exactly what was happening at that moment. Not only that, but the intenseness and anxiety I felt while reading this let me wanting more! The dialogue you used allowed me to portray the emotions that were being felt and I was scared for you! Awesome job Ashley!!
ReplyDelete~Legend Holman
p.3
I really enjoyed this story! You really know how to captivate an audience. From the very beginning, your story took to me to that place your character was in. The imagery throughout this was extremely visual and as well as fluid. I felt as if I was the one having that nightmare. Overall really great job Ashely!
ReplyDelete- Alexis Carmona
Period 5
First of all, very creative, suspenseful, and original. The story is very unpredictable, and it's gives the reader a sense of insecurity not knowing what would happen after "CLICK." Again, very well done. I appreciated your story, and I'm sure many others did as well. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHello Ashley! This story you wrote was absolutely AMAZING. I first saw the title and did not really know what to expect to happen in this piece but wow! The imagery of this story was so detailed and I could picture exactly what was happening at that moment. Not only that, but the intenseness and anxiety I felt while reading this let me wanting more! The dialogue you used allowed me to portray the emotions that were being felt and I was scared for you! Awesome job Ashley!!
ReplyDelete~Legend Holman
p.3
Your dialogue was very cohesive in the story and helped to perpetuate the air of confusion surrounding the main character. The detailed actions had me picturing each scenario as it was presented.
ReplyDeleteMegan Zimmermann
Period 5
When i saw the name i got scared. But now that I have read it I think that it is amazing. The main reason why I think it is amazing because the kid thought that when he woke up the second time he thought it was real until he dtarted bleeding. And then to fing out that his own family wanted to kill them in the dream was amazing and then he woke up im his bed. And that is how i fell every time i have a bad dream and I wake up and it is only two or three in the morning and is sad because then I am scared to go back to bed because I know that I will have that dream again.
ReplyDeleteMikayla Seals
Period 4
Oh my gosh... I thought that she was finally awake and then BAM!! She was back in the nightmare and my heart started racing when her best friend pulled the gun on her. I never get that feeling reading bad books, so this is definitely a short story that I would read over and over again just to feel the same suspense that that poor girl felt being treated like that wondering when it was going to stop.
ReplyDelete~Madison Behee
per.1
Wow Ashley! This was really good, all the details that have been put in to this story was better then any other story i have read. This story literally got me off of my seat. It was so good I liked how you made the environment/atmosphere come to life, so much imagery and it what brought this story to life. Good job on this one, but seriously you should consider another story or a part 2 of this one, because this was really good.
ReplyDeleteJorge Rodriguez
Period 5
Awesome! I loved the suspense. The twist at the end was great too. This would make a good horror story.
ReplyDeleteGood job!!
Adrian Modesty
Pd. 4
I enjoyed this story. I like how you gave the story a twist. I was confused at first then as you reached the climax I was mind blown especially when it got to the gun part.
ReplyDelete-Brianna B.
Period 4
Great story! It was suspenseful and exiting! The whole time I was wondering what was going to happen next... And I love how you started out the story to capture the reader's attention right away!
ReplyDelete- Victoria Ervin
Period 1
This was a great story!!! Your use of vivid imagery and syntax, really pushed this story to the top. It literally had me clutching onto the edge of my seat. I was sucked into this story like a whirlpool. Also, the title was very intriguing. It also makes you question who your closest friends are. THANK YOU for such an emotionally captivating story.
ReplyDelete-Kayla Weathers
This story was amazing!! It had me on the edge of my seat the entire time just awaiting for what would happen next. It had such detail and suspense and it was very interesting to read! I love the little twist at the end and how you described everything so well that i could picture the setting and how everything looked. ~Julianna Alvarado Period 1
ReplyDeleteThis story is AMAZING!!! I love how at the beginning the story moves kinda fast so it adds a confused and suspenseful feel, and then BAM, her best friend is already aiming a gun at her, ready to kill her. Brilliant! And then at the end it turns out that it was all just a dream. It gives you a kind of a stupid feeling, but in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteMichael Retana
Period 1
The story really got me going ,like I wanted to keep on reading it to find out what happens Anyways what you did here was capture the readers attention easily with not just the writing ,but the title. Since the title "Nightmare within Nightmare"sounds really interesting, you can instantly catch a reader who is very curious. I loved the writing overall ,also you describe what's happening in the story so well. It felt like I was there ,just feeling the pain with you.
ReplyDeletePeriod 4
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis story had me on edge the entire time! It had a great set up at the beginning with the two first paragraphs. Those two were especially terrifying to me because in my opinion the scariest things are seeing people close to you become something terrifying. Great work with this story.
ReplyDeleteCristopher Orellana
Period 5
Your story was very scary i have to say and you gave more and more detail and i have no idea how you came up with this story but it was an amazing story. The thrill kept everyone on their toes about why the blood was there and how you explained your foot being chained WOW! It was an amazing story and I'm glad I got to read it.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how seamless this piece was. From beginning to end it was very easy to follow due to the amount of detail and syntax used. I enjoy thrilling stories which made this read a pleasure!! I could picture you sleeping in your bed tossing due to these frightening dreams!
ReplyDeleteYou made this story almost impossible to look away from! The suspense, the imagery, the details, and just the way you added that sudden ending just messed with my emotions but in a good way! This story captured my attention and gave me chills on my arms. Excellent job! I will be waiting for a part 2 ;)
ReplyDelete-Jessica Perez, Per. 3
Thanks for writing this the story was extremely thrilling and captivating and always had me on edge. The buildup to multiple thrills throughout was genius. Furthermore, the idea of a nightmare within a nightmare is very interesting!
ReplyDeleteTaylor Sandoval
Cogswell p. 5
As i was reading the story, it was very interesting. Then when you woke up from the second dream, your first dream still continued which was very awesome and cool and i wanted to keep reading to see what happened next. This was probably one of the most interesting and coolest horror story that i have read.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story it seemed to always have you on the edge of your seat. There is a lot of detail on whats going on in the story it really draws you in. I really liked the idea of having story about a nightmare because you in those moments you don't know what's real or fake.
ReplyDeleteAlexis Medina
-Period 4
The story was thrilling and it kept me on my toes! You conveyed vivid imagery and used a dark, scary, and suspenseful tone. The title also pulled me in and the story was not a disappointment. The amount of detail and syntax used made the story easy to follow and the whole piece had a nice set-up. It was a good read!
ReplyDelete-Hannah Baik
Period 2
Love the intensity. I'm sure everyone has gone through this and its a horrible feeling but the adrenaline rush i had reading that gave me chills! You should make more of these!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was really interesting and it reminded of Inception. It is very descriptive and I liked how you incorporated onomatopoeia. It made me feel like I was in the story with you, hearing all the creepy noises and making me want run for my life. I really enjoyed reading!
ReplyDelete-Noelle M.
Period 2
This piece was a good read because it was action-packed. It had me on the edge of my seat. I liked it because it made me ask questions like what is happening? or why does one person have to die? Also, I loved how you incorporated a flashback from the past. It gave more information about the characters and the narrator. A great thing I would like to point out is the outcome of the story. Good thing that it was only a bad dream!
ReplyDelete- Jessie Santos
Period 1
We often fail to realize that we ourselves have some emotions bottled up inside of us. I could tell from the story that the speaker had fear bottles up inside of them. The nightmares were instigated by her own fears or what she fears other people think of feel about her. The second nightmare even shows that she covers up her fears through her daily routine until she saw herself int he mirror and realized that there is something wrong. Great story, it really keep you wondering "how is this going to end up".
ReplyDeleteWhat a thriller!! This piece was extremely and it did not fail to keep my interest! It was well written, and had a nice story line going on. The transition from the gunshot to the alarm clock was shocking to me because I didn't expect this to all be a dream. Very impressive Ashley. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteWhoa.... ;0 <----- my expression the whole time I was reading your story. Ashley, you did a great job on this story. I hate scary stories but I have to say out of the few I have read I really liked yours. It was interesting, suspenseful, and never failed to keep my attention;I did not want to stop reading it. I especially loved the part when you were looking at the picture your friend took and you saw a whole different picture of yourself, it created a very vivid picture in my head to say the least (and a scary one at that). overall I absolutely loved it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteWhoa.... ;0 <----- my expression the whole time I was reading your story. Ashley, you did a great job on this story. I hate scary stories but I have to say out of the few I have read I really liked yours. It was interesting, suspenseful, and never failed to keep my attention;I did not want to stop reading it. I especially loved the part when you were looking at the picture your friend took and you saw a whole different picture of yourself, it created a very vivid picture in my head to say the least (and a scary one at that). overall I absolutely loved it. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteAshley, your story completely immersed the audience and put us readers into your shoes. The sounds that you chose to emphasize really made the rest of the story seem completely vivid. It is also impressive how you managed to include a wide variety of characters without causing the audience any confusion. This structure of this piece made me imagine that I was actually in your shoes when you were chained to the wall. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI really loved the thrill and intensity you story gave. It was quick action that made you flinch inside unknowingly. It also had an eerie vibe it gave me as you kept passing through multiple dreams but it kept the suspense going. I also liked the end as your friend was approaching you and how you revealed your thoughts which made me feel like I was right next to you the whole time
ReplyDeleteDude your story was pretty intense. I had a dreams like that before and I know what it feels like. When I woke up after my nightmares I'm to scared to go back to sleep. That was really good
ReplyDelete-Ray Kemas
Period 4
Very suspenseful and I loved it. The feeling of not knowing who or what to trust. Feeling like you are the only one that can help yourself created a mood of desperation that was too real.
ReplyDeleteAndre Medina
Period 3
The part with the selfie captured me, I felt like it could be turned into a film, that installed the fear and suspense, that realization that things were going wrong and how you and others valued each other. It helps you realize that some things need to be re-evaluated, shock yourself into reality or comfort yourself with the truth.
ReplyDeleteI am normally intrigued by horror movies and novels so naturally I found this story to be compelling. The extensive amount of imagery and dialogue you used in this story caused me to actually believe that this was happening to you! I was never once bored by reading this story as I anticipated that something dramatic would occur at any moment. Overall I enjoyed reading this story as you made the story suspenseful without being excessively frightening.
ReplyDeleteMy attention was really captured reading this because of my interest in stories of nightmares. The suspense of not knowing whether you were still in a dream or whether it was reality was really interesting. I really enjoyed it
ReplyDelete-Michael Dingle P.5
Your use of creating a story with a story made it very easy to follow your piece and entertaining to read. I liked how you continually twisted the story line, and allowed the readers to believe that there was always going to be something even more tragic but ultimately ended as a simple dream. Your frantic tone portrayed throughout the story created a sense of excitement in the story and intrigued me to continue to reading because I was so curious to see what would happen next. Overall I enjoyed it and thought it was a really great story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAwesome story it really sounds like something from a horrer film! I'm sad that that it ended I wanted there to be more. You left me here scared to go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteMackenzie Tipple
per.4
Dark shadows shatter the nightmare, a mirror that was as black as the darkest fires. This "nightmare" did an astounding job of captivating its readers in its abominatory world, something that few horror pieces actually perfect. An excellent sense of word choice to engage the reader as if they were in this nightmare of a world. Yet what separates a good horror piece from the great ones is an interesting twist. Most horror pieces have a twist, yet they are mostly cliche, expected, figured out from line 1. Yet this piece keeps you guessing what will happen next, switching from place to place, using the imageric surroundings to their advantage. And yet it all ends so abruptly, the way a nightmare would end. Astounding job!
ReplyDeleteConnor Edmundson
Period 3
Cogswell
I thought it was amazing in the sense that it is relatable. The imagery and use of suspense really keeps the reader on edge. In a way its funny because you incorporated your family into it and its a funny picture. I enjoyed it a lot and it made me smile.
ReplyDeleteI felt so many emotions reading this! It brought back the stomach turning feeling you get when you have a nightmare and have absolutely no idea what's going on. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this Ashley! You made it so descriptive that i felt as if I was there witnessing it all happen. I love how you ended it off with "Thank goodness, It was only a dream". Very excellent way of closing the story
ReplyDelete-Christian Ortega
Period 5
I really enjoyed this Ashley! You made it so descriptive that i felt as if I was there witnessing it all happen. I love how you ended it off with "Thank goodness, It was only a dream". Very excellent way of closing the story
ReplyDelete-Christian Ortega
Period 5
Good job. I liked the descriptive words. I liked how scary it was it was. It had a lot of suspense.
ReplyDeleteJace Andersen
Period 1
What a great piece!!I really like how you took the reality of a nightmare and turned it into a story. The imagery and the suspense you used took it to a whole new level. I loved the selfie part and how you merged it from reality to the nightmare again was awesome. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteNice scary tone. Chilling to the bone. I think i should stop reading these scary stories because i get all scared. Great story though i lived it you should make more of these.
ReplyDelete