Pages

Monday, May 4, 2015

"Talk" by Elisabeth D



Where do I begin?
Man, I don’t even know.
Let’s see how this goes,
Sit back and enjoy the show.

Now this poem isn’t your typical stuff,
I don’t follow the definition of a sonnet and such,
I could bore you about the future and all that mush,
But believe me I don’t want to leave you crushed.

So what should I talk about?
School, work, family, and all that?
Well, school and work are exhausting without a doubt,
And my family’s… well they’re my family, let’s just leave it at that.

We could talk about the world,
And all that’s going on…
But talking about all that will leave your brain swirled,
And before you know it you’ll be gone.

Maybe talking about graduation might do.
But who really wants to “get emotional” right now?
Besides,
We have so much time too.

I’m pretty sure by this point you’re probably confused,
Wondering what point I’m exactly trying to make.
At the start of this poem I didn’t know either, I just kinda cruised.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… Talk.
I know, I know, what does she mean by talk?
She came up with every excuse in the book not to talk.
She didn’t even know what to talk about.
That’s just it, there’s so much to say without a doubt.

If I had to talk about any of these topics,
Believe me we’d be here forever.
But nobody has “time for that”,
So let me get it together.

Talking, no matter how good or annoying, is a gift,
Sounds cliché? Yeah, I know.
But come on be honest, sometimes you let it drift.

There is so much to talk about,
It’s pretty ridiculous.
So I find it very ironic when someone asks, “What do you want to talk about?”
And we all suddenly become clueless.




  

55 comments:

  1. This piece is defiantly a different take on a sonnet, but it works, and how you go through all these topics you could talk about but just end on just finding the topic was just finding somthing to talk about is interestin

    nick canez
    period 6

    ReplyDelete
  2. This piece is so amazing!!! I really like how cute and funny this poem is
    And the detailing you used!!!! I can relate but then again I guess everyone in the world can relate too because I am always talking but when someone says "What do you want to talk about?" I have no idea what to say so this really makes me think why? And how is this possible?? Haha but anyway this piece is so great!!! Overall I really enjoyed this poem and I can really relate!!

    Sarah Skibby
    Period. 6

    ReplyDelete
  3. Liz this was so funny. At first it really did feel like you were rambling about nothing but the ending really had some significance to it. I say this because there's been many times when I'm trying to have a conversation with someone but seem to have nothing to talk about at all. With all the possibilities of topics when it matters we cant seems to say the right things. I like the humorous tone you went for. I really enjoyed your piece!
    -Evelin Conde
    perios.5
    5/11/15

    ReplyDelete
  4. Christian Black
    5-11-15
    Period 1

    Wow. This piece was something else; the reason being is because all of it is true and can be connected go how everyone is feeling about "life" right now. We bring up a subject and talk about it for hours but the conversation never hold any meaning or substance. Nothing matters until the moment it actually happens. With the use of so many paradox's and allusions that's what this piece is conveying. Great Work!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I actually find this very interesting because there is so much to talk about and we need to speak our minds no matter where or what it is about.I guess what i got from this poem was that time is going to go by and might as well speak what is on our mind.Good Job!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like how you went with something different and connected it to something everyone has been through. Good job.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow I was really impressed by your story. It shows that people should talk to others and discuss all of their life's problems. If people began to talk and not hold in their problems, this would equal a better environment for others. This would help solve depression and other social problems. Overall, this was a well said blog post.
    - Shayan Khan P6

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I loved the way that you structured the poem as a stream of consciousness. It is clear that you wrote as the ideas came from your head, with no solid plan in mind form the beginning. Sometimes this approach can fall apart, but in this case you handled it very well. The somewhat repetitive and poetic structure really lends itself well to this style of writing. You can feel the progression of your attitude throughout the poem as you come to terms with the uncertainty. Your writing helps to raise an interesting point, people always expect that others have something to talk about, or that there is always a clear purpose to every statement made, and this story makes is clear that at times this expectation is not realistic. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Awesome job! I loved your piece, it was different. I specifically liked that the meaning of your piece is not directly provided in the beginning and that there are several other underlying ideas with in it. I enjoyed the perspective you mention regarding the significance of "talk".
    Merosa Uiagalelei
    Period 5

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like this piece because its saying that people should just talk to one another and let things out and have somebody know its ok and for them to not be shy so good job.
    -Kamau O
    -P.2

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really like how you started this poem off, to be honest i kinda found a beat to make to it. but as it continued it got deeper and deeper and i really enjoyed reading it! "And we all suddenly become clueless." I love that line. it can mean so many different things and you could use that line talking about almost anything, which kind of goes with your poem! :)
    -Ashlyn Barnes P6

    ReplyDelete
  13. The structure of the poem was brilliance to leave it as a stream of consciousness that is unsure and losing its track. As the poem progressed the meaning had gotten deeper and leaving the reader thinking of all the times that they were unsure what to say. Overall this was an amazing poem. Good job.
    Dean Garcia period 6

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow this was very unique. Your very right there is so much to talk about in the world but it seems as if we don't have a word to speak about it. nice work.
    Bethany Stitt
    5/12/15
    6:10 pm
    p.6

    ReplyDelete
  15. This was a funny and unique poem. I liked how casual it was but how you still got out the message about how we should enjoy the gift of talking and say what is important to us. Good poem.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Elisabeth, I absolutely loved your piece. This is unlike any piece I have read on this blog before. But I can totally relate to this. When someone asks me, "So what do you want to talk about?" I have no idea what to respond, like all of my thoughts have disappeared. But I agree with you, there are so many things to talk about. It's just a matter of choosing what exactly to talk about because you could talk about anything really. And you can carry on a conversation just fine without starting off with, "What do you want to talk about?" but as soon as the question gets asked, it;s like all the words that form sentences disappear. But amazing story and amazing job.

    -Kimberly Tsuyuki
    Period 6

    ReplyDelete
  17. I loved this, I hate when people ask me "So what do you want to talk about" I don't even know what to really talk about, Its like i really dont know what to talk about....But anyways this was really good.
    -Sukhmeen
    Per 2

    ReplyDelete
  18. I loved this piece because it was so simple yet had a great and relatable message in the end. the questions you kept asking throughout the piece helped to stir my mind and get me to really think about what you wanted to say. Answering the questions drove me to find examples from my own life and made connecting to the work quite easy. Also, i loved the flow of your piece. it was very easy to follow as if I was cruising through your thoughts and quite easily hitting your points.
    Danielle Delgado
    Period 1
    5/12/2015

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow Elisabeth, this was something different! I liked how you used rhyme schemes and you were able to maintain your message while still maintaining a poem. I liked how your poem was simple, but powerful. Sorta how i feel about my outfits throughout the week, haha. Goodjob!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm not a talkative person, but I try hard to talk about whatever's the subject and not about one of my video games.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I loved this piece because it was different from all the other story's and it was also very funny and I loved how you started the sonnet in the being of the story. this is probably the first time I read something like this in the blog. Good Job

    ReplyDelete
  22. Liz, this was easily one of the more unique pieces on the blog that I have read. I love how everything was structured so that it seemed like a constant stream of thoughts. Your poem was very easy to follow along with, yet it did have a deeper underlying meaning. My favorite part of the piece has to be the last two lines because of how relevant it is. Overall, great job.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Elisabeth, your piece was truly different from any of the other blogs. I really enjoyed how it was a poem. I really like how you structured the whole piece and the rhyme scheme of it. The message is so relatable, we have so much to talk about. Most of the time we don't have enough time to talk about it. And I see the irony whenever we are asked "what do you want to talk about?" Most of the time I just say "I don't know" because usually on the spot I genuinely don't know, or maybe because there's so much to say, we don't know where to start.
    I really enjoyed your piece, Good job! Grace Panjaitan p4

    ReplyDelete
  24. James Phillips this is a very great poem keep up the good work, your were very poetic with your words almost like you were rapping I liked
    it. GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow. Just wow. Honeslty was the best poem I've read all year. It was pretty great. I was laughing and grinning pretty much after every single line. It is so amazing. I love this poem so much. The ending was perfect, it just all came together perfectly. Amazing job.

    Angel Ramirez
    Period 1

    ReplyDelete
  26. Liz how come I read this in your tone of voice the whole time HAHAHA. This was such a great poem I absolutely loved it! I loved the rhyme scheme and how the ending of the poem totally tied together with the whole poem! I love how everyone could relate to this and how it all affects us socially. Really great and funny poem!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I could really hear your voice reading this and that is amazing! I love how the poem was centered around talking and how you ended it with when people are asked to talk they have no idea what to say, happens to me all the time. Amazing poem~!
    Margaret Moyer
    per3

    ReplyDelete
  28. Liz this poem was honestly so cute. I read it in your voice because this is honestly so you! I like the way you just made this a rhyming ramble that actually turned out pretty well constructed. I like the way you used your diction the most because it really gave emotion to the piece. I love it Liz! I think that you really didn't have to try to create this piece and that's the best part!

    ReplyDelete
  29. wow i really enjoyed your story since its one of the amazing few poems on here and its really hard to write a poem with such deep thoughts yet not giving them away so directly and up front great job
    Valerie Perez
    Period 6

    ReplyDelete
  30. Its a really good poem and your one of the few who made a poem
    Xavier Delgado
    P.2

    ReplyDelete
  31. This poem itself has so much significance to society and to me personally. The fact that people are becoming so distant now really is making an actual conversation irrelevant. It really connects to me because I'm one of those people who love to be in the deep end of emotions in conversations but I find it increasingly difficult to find people that are willing to listen and respond. Overall, amazing poem, the message behind it is very strong.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Liz great piece! I really love the structure and rhythmic flow it had. The content of the poem was funny and ironic. At the beginning it reflected a mind streaming with thoughts, but overall you connected each though with the idea that there is so many things to talk about, yet when we get the chance we are either speechless or talking continuously about the subject. My favorite part is when you say "talking is a gift although it sounds cliche, and sometimes we let it drift" I found that ironic since the beginning of the poem is drifting with topics to talk about, great piece!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I can honestly say that this is my favorite piece posted on the blog this year. The way your poem flowed and stayed consistent with ideas and topics was beautiful. And I find a lot of truth in what you are highlighting. With so many different options and combinations of topics, how do we run out of things to talk about? I never really thought about it, but thank you for opening up my mind. Again, you have an amazing poem here and I am going to be sure to come back and read it again!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I really enjoyed your piece especially because I agree with what you are talking about. The poem was constant with humor and irony which made it entertaining. It also had flow to it that made the message get across to the readers. This poem is simple yet very complex in meaning which is an aspect of poetry that I really enjoy. Once again great job!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Honestly, when I read the first two stanzas of your poem, I wasn't sure where it was heading, but when you developed your poem to reveal what you believe, then it made sense. It had a strong, central theme that was clear for the reader to identify. Your rhyme scheme created a conversational tone, which relates it to the title. Overall, you did a great job getting your point across.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Liz,
    I loved your piece! I find the message very relatable. I think often we do tend to forget all of the things that we have available to talk about. I also loved the beginning of your piece. It kind of seemed like you didn't know where you were going with it and for some reason it just worked. I appreciated the flow and overall theme. Beautiful!
    Leasia Spicer
    period 4

    ReplyDelete
  37. First of all, I really liked your poem and your rhymes are very good. I liked the central message of the poem, because its true, there are many things to talk about, yet we still wander for conversation. The fact that there was some drifting in the beginning of the poem sort of added to the theme that conversation can drift in any direction and we have so many options. Overall, great job!

    Anthony Hurd
    Period 4

    ReplyDelete
  38. The format and rhyme scheme of the poem was lighthearted and got my attention. I enjoyed the message because I found it relatable due to the fact that I do not say much either but there can be so much going on in my head. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem because of the simplicity of it. I found it ironic that you advocated people to talk, yet you used a poem which is actually less "wordy" in order to get your point across. I also liked that you kind of just rambled which emphasized your point even more. The poem structure is something new to read and you executed it well! Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  40. this was a interesting way to go about a sonnet, it was also very cute and funny. it got my attention and I also liked the messege it sent out

    ReplyDelete
  41. This was in my opinion a great sonnet with a unique structure. I loved the rhyme scheme of the poem along with the humorous elements seen throughout. I liked how it seemed to ramble on about talking in the beginning but their was a shift in the end to a deeper meaning. This was an awesome piece. Great job Liz!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh snap!!! Dang Elizabeth what an amazing piece! I loved your poem because it was so simple and easy to follow along. In addition, it was very funny. Keep up the great work!
    -Philip Ahn
    4th

    ReplyDelete
  43. I really enjoyed how the informality of your poem helped to draw us in. The casual, lighthearted tone captured our attention and kept it throughout the tone shift to benevolent and reflective. I also agree with you! There is so much in this world to talk about and moments of silence are absurd! Also, clever way of giving topics to talk about in the beginning. :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Fernando Mauri P1May 13, 2015 at 6:43 AM

    My favorite aspect of the poem is the fact that its entire thematic statement is to just speak your mind, and you do just that in the stream of consciousness style of writing. Your rhyme scheme also demonstrates an underlying message that despite being free to speak, there is still some control in what is being said and how it is said. I also enjoyed your allusion to the "Ain't nobody got time for that" lady. And I subconsciously started reading this in your voice, I don't know why.

    ReplyDelete
  45. this story is so true how trying to find a topic to talk about but it might sound a bit weird or just very strange to others. good explaining and sonnet.
    -Isaac Garcia
    per 6

    ReplyDelete
  46. Your poem was a lot of fun to read. I like how it rhymed and it was completely relatable in the fact that sometimes its hard to make conversation with people. Great Job!
    Alyssa Anastasi
    P. 5

    ReplyDelete
  47. I love the rhyme scheme and enjoyed the conversation that was going on throughout the poem. Very well done. A very interesting poem which I can say i can relate to!

    -Andrew Trinidad
    Period 1

    ReplyDelete
  48. great work loved this story, keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Amazing job, really. Your use of syntax and diction really brings out the conversational scheme you were trying to accomplish. The humorous irony carries the message through the end. Fantastic job. -Thuy Cao

    ReplyDelete
  50. I like your poem! I like the topic you choose because it is true kids now-a-days have nothing to talk about an you do prove your point.
    ~Clarissa Rojas
    Period 2

    ReplyDelete
  51. This poem was so cute and funny. I loved how it was a different take on a sonnet. The amount of syntax and diction you utilized really made the point stronger. This was also so relate able to us teenagers lol because we're so indecisive. Great piece!
    Leah Hernandez
    period 4

    ReplyDelete
  52. Dang Liz. I love how true this poem is, because everyone gets all awkward and quiet when people dont know what to talk about. It makes me laugh a lot but I am probably one of these people haha anyways I really enjoyed the poem.
    Jacob Valdez
    Period 4

    ReplyDelete
  53. Wow this piece was a good example of how we never have anything to talk about. I like the fact that you gave examples of what we do for this to happen. I really enjoyed this piece very good job!

    ReplyDelete
  54. This piece was completely different from all the others. It was cute and funny. Your use of rhyme kept it interesting. And the concept of how we always have something on our mind but we never say anything, made it just that relatable. So good job I enjoyed it.
    Period 4

    ReplyDelete
  55. Your piece was very unique and funny ! I loved it a lot ! keep on writing !

    imalla Ramirez
    period 6

    ReplyDelete

Remember, make your comment positive, supportive, and specific to the piece you're commenting on. No anonymous comments! :)