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Monday, January 26, 2015
"The Powerful House" by Clarissa R.
I lived in this beautiful house it had powers of protecting us from the evil or from the bad people. Like this one time I was sitting on the couch in the living room I heard people outside and they had rocks I think they were trying to come in the house and kidnap me or steal my things well this power that I was talking about it threw them to the street and ever since then no one has ever came to bother me. Except those kids that walk by trying to see if my house actually has powers. We always have had this strange neighbor that always stares at us creepy-like and his name was Bobby. He was a single man with no job and got all his money from inheritance of his parents death. Bobby was very creepy he always says, “I’ll be coming soon,” I never knew what he had meant by that.
On the night of February 5, 2031 he came over because he had insisted of a dinner party with the three of us (Bobby, my husband, and I). Well he came over and we had dinner and then we talked for like 2 hours. Then my husband and I went to the kitchen and when we came back to the living room Bobby was gone. So we thought maybe he went home and went to rest. Well we were wrong!!! In the middle of the night while we were sleeping we were woken up by some loud noise. My husband grabbed a gun, we had hidden in our bedroom, and fast we went through the hallways. We were hit by surprise and we were knocked out. My husband and I were tied up to chairs in our basement. I was surprised that our house didn’t use its power then I realized that maybe Bobby was the one who was controlling the powers of our house. I remembered that I had put my phone in my bra and realized that it was still in my bra. I called the cops and when they came it was already to late. Bobby was gone and was never found.
I like how detailed your story was and how it had that mysterious feel to it.(:
ReplyDelete-Vymian San
I liked your story a lot. It had a good mystery to it. Excellent gob.
ReplyDelete~Mia Tolliver
period 2
I like how your story is very detailed and has that mystery twist in it.
ReplyDeleteChiquitita Annisa
Period 2
Story was very intriguing. Good job of keeping the reader guessing what will happen next.
ReplyDeleteThis well written story was very detailed. It had a mystery twist in it which I liked a lot. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI loved the suspense throughout the whole thing. it had a creepy feel to it, which made it more interesting.
ReplyDeleteJosie Starr
Period 2
Good job! i really enjoyed the detail you put into it. Great suspense.
ReplyDeleteGood job! i really enjoyed the detail you put into it. Great suspense.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story! You put so much detail that helped with the suspense that made me want to know what was going to happen next. Very mysterious and interesting.
ReplyDeleteSara Arredondo
period 1
This story was very mysterious and detailed. It kept me wondering what was going to happen next! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeletePer 2
I really enjoyed this story yet i woul have enjoyed it more if you were more specific other than that great story
ReplyDeleteValerie Perez
period 6
I liked your use of description. This story was very well written.
ReplyDeleteJobelle Dauz
Period 2