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Monday, January 26, 2015

"Little Girl" by Danielle D


There was a little girl who loved to prance around her grandfather's farm and sully the dress her mother bought her from an expensive store. Every afternoon her grandpa would take her down to the local cafe by the river, and she always had the greatest fun helping grind coffee beans. She loved to run up to the bridge above the river and feel it swing with the slightest touch of her foot (the bridge had been an old enemy she could never face, as it swung on old wires and swayed with the slightest breeze). She loved the rain that swept throughout the rural town and found the pitter patter of drops against the wooden shacks comforting. The clouds and mountains became canvases for her odd imagination.  The little girl loved being in the hands of nature and never tired of her days in mud.
Back in her parents' home in the city, she would pack away images of lush mountains and aromas of the cafe and slip into her neatly ironed uniform, ready for a day of school. At school, the little girl would chat her day away with friends, only ceasing during her teacher's lessons. With her friends, she would stare at the animals kept in the school zoo and tease the evil monkey by making strange faces at it. They’d run around endlessly playing school games without a care for the world.
Years later, the little girl told her friends she will comeback from a trip abroad in a few months and return with candies and Mickey Mouse and princess souvenirs for everyone. They cheered and she gave them hugs.
The candies, souvenirs, and little girl never made their way home. Her parents explained and the girl accepted. She grew up and dreamed of those days by the river. She went to school and went home. Her life became all bout school. She was grateful to her parents for the opportunities and new life. But she becomes stressed and grows resentful. Grades. Grades. GRADES. The girl wondered if that letter defined her (only one acceptable, the rest are forbidden). She grew to resent those letters, but the girl learned and matured. She turned to family, a lasting presence throughout her young life. She was happy and enjoying life. However, sometimes, she saw her childhood friends back in her hometown and she sees they'd grown a lot. They told her of wonderful stories of adventures and she felt jealousy.
The girl wondered. The girl lives her life grateful, but some days, she thinks what if I had never left? She thinks she might be happier. The girl imagines herself prancing through the farm again. She thinks of crossing that bridge and she thinks of that poor monkey. The girl thinks and thinks and when she stops, she feels something in her. But, she is getting old and she accepts and continues on. She is okay, she thinks. She is happy, she thinks.

12 comments:

  1. Danielle, I really loved this piece. The way you structured it and how you described this flashback in such vivid manner really enhanced the purpose of your story. My favorite part of this is the first paragraph. It's beautiful how you were able to condense this little girl's childhood by just utilizing imagery and details in just a few sentences. I could really envision her childhood in the beginning which I believe was a nice thing to do because it laid so much background and could very easily be contrasted with the little girl's present-self. In the end, the little girls sense of unsure satisfaction and happiness is something people can relate to as they get older. Your story shows more than the influence of changing surroundings, but also of growing and maturing. Not only that, but the fact that the little girl delved her interests from nature and simple pleasures to grades is also another thing one could feel sympathetic to your character, as well. Great piece, Danielle:)
    Ellamae Armado
    Period 1

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  2. I loved how you flashback to show how life was back then for this little girl and how the tone got serious when the girl had to move. A lot of people have went through a phase where they had to start a new life due to their parents and their work but you described this situation perfectly. The questioning of what would happen "if she never left" makes me think of how would I be if I never moved to Rancho Cucamonga and that is a question nobody will know. I loved the use of imagery and the change in tone of the story.

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  3. I really enjoyed this piece because it was very relatable. When I was 7 I moved from Virginia to California because my dad got a better job. I too, like the little girl, wondered if life would be different. I was always grateful for the opportunity to live here and I knew I had it better than a lot of other people, but you still miss certain things about your childhood and where you grew up. I liked how you were optimistic in your writing and how you portrayed the story of the little girl growing up. The imagery and details of the bridge, the farm, and the monkey made a nice personal touch and I got emotional lol. Overall, great piece Danielle!

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  4. Danielle, I think this is a beautifully written piece. It's simplicity and pleasant imagery allows the reader to feel a connection to the little girl in the story. I think it's really common in society how people move around and even though are blessed with a better life and opportunities, they still feel homesick and with this new life, comes more responsibilities. This story also shows what teenagers are constantly always focusing on. Grades. My favorite part of this entry was the last paragraph. It ties all the loose ends, and it leaves the reader to wonder whether the little girl is really happy or not. Good job Dandel! :)
    Simran Bajwa
    Period 1

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  5. I really loved the simplicity of this piece. You have such a quaint way of describing things that work so effectively like saying the "evil monkey." You really showed how wonderful simple things really should be what please us, just like the "Little girl" did. You did an awesome job at describing those simple enjoyments in peoples lives and I think that those small descriptions also relate back to title. I loved it so much, and I love ya!!

    Eva Badal
    Period 1

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  6. DANDEL! Ugh! I love how this piece truly provides a story from past to present! The imagery provided to explain how the little girl felt and left behind a pretty satisfying life to only be left with a much less satisfying life. I can completely relate with the little girl in the sense that I am thankful for all that is done for me but not satisfied because my life is represented and continues to be represented by a grade. I loved the representation you brought of this little girl to life, so fantastic job! ((:

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  7. This was really well written and I loved how you started off with the flashback of the little girl. I felt like I was watching this little girl go by living her life and seeing her put a smile when she felt like crying inside. I wonder if this is a personal experience or just a story? But really good job it was well written and I stayed wondering what happened to the little girl.

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  8. AHhhh so wonderful Danielle. I can connect with the little girl and the feelings of missing her homeland the place where she felt most comfortable and I truly do comprehend the part about her life revolving around grades and the loss of happiness. I loved it and amazing job Daaaaanielle!

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  9. Danielle, great job! Your story was absolutely incredible in the fact that the imagery and structure was greatly presented. When you were describing the beauty of the farm, I felt as if I was right there experiencing it for myself. I loved how relatable you made this story since almost anyone can relate to the move/change in environment or the means of being defined by simply a letter grade. Personally, I found the part that spoke of the frustration of being defined by grades especially compelling since, as an Honors/AP student, my entire life has been centered around doing well in school to go to college and get a good paying job. Overall, Danielle, I thought your story was great!
    -Sophia Bobadilla P.1

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  10. This was incredibly touching and dear, hearing you use a third person medium to represent yourself. Your use of imagery and detail really emphasized the nostalgia felt from the girl- and the light criticism to the structure of academics through how the girl personally felt was well done. Overall, you did a great job- I appreciate you sharing this, genuinely.

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  11. You know that feeling that comes about, for some, after you've read a great book, watched a sad movie, or "experienced' a touching television series (Lost); Yeah, nostalgia. The eloquent language incorporated, as well as the concept of growing up and leaving aside, but not behind, childlike behavior and thought, leaves a trace of a sentimental atmosphere and melancholy. Its a perfect depiction of the lives and perceptions many teenagers, if not older, have, allowing many to relate to this emotionally.

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  12. This story is a very touching entry that makes me question my happiness and intelligence. Does my intelligence influence my happiness or have any effect on it at all? Is ignorance really bliss? I hope this little girl does find her happiness as this story drew me in and I found myself rooting for her. Very effective, well written story.

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