“When it explodes, you’ll know what to do.”
My grandfather said this with so much confidence in me, but I knew I would fail. How can I possibly figure out what to do, I only discovered my new ability yesterday and now I have to rehabilitate an exploded dog?! This is too much for me. I can feel myself start to shake with anxiety. I can’t just let that poor innocent dog die because of me I just cant.
The ticking stops, I know what’s going to happen now, there is no way of saving the wiener dog anymore. The sudden explosion scared me half to death. I closed my eyes, to scared to see the blown up dog but I can feel its blood splattered on me. “Calm down, open your eyes Thomas this dog was to be dead a long time ago of cancer, if you do not succeed on mending the dog you’ll simply be putting it out of its misery.” This gave me a bit more comfort; I opened my eyes. I looked around, horrified at the sight in front of me. “Oh my god! I have to save this dog!”
I had no clue on what to do. I figured I would do what the heroes do on the shows I watch. I closed my eyes and held out my hands over what was left of the dog; hoping and praying that the dog will be okay after. Even though I knew it was going to be a fruitless attempt. I opened my eyes anticipating the best; nothing changed. Self-doubt is starting to settle in again. “I can’t do this,” I began to give up on myself, why have powers when you cant use them. “You can do it Thomas, just believe in yourself and you will succeed, just try!” I wanted to yell at him how I did try but I know it was useless to fight with him. I decided to try again, I figured what harm could I do to an obliterated dog; at least if I try again my grandpa will shut up.
I extended my arms over the splattered dog chunks and closed my eyes again. But this time I imagined the dog alive prancing around the back yard happily and cancer free. I stayed like this for what felt like 5 minutes until I was startled out of my daydream. There was something rubbing against my ankle. I opened my eyes to find a perfectly happy dog enjoying life. I couldn’t believe it, I actually brought a blown up dog back to life.
Find the shape and tell it!
Well, that was quite interesting. I thought the story line was very interesting. You also did a good job letting the reader into the mind of the main character. To improve this I would suggest lengthening the story and also to add more flow and connections with each sentence. Other than that you did amazing!! Good job
ReplyDeleteEva Badal
Per.1
I loved this story! I like how u described the characters emotions and gave a sense of hope in the story. -Tatiana Nunez
ReplyDeleteI like how you let the reader into the mind of the main character , more details were necessary but the overall. both was interesting.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story. You described the main character very good! Overall great story and good job.
ReplyDeleteThis story was cute and sad. I liked it because the dog survived and didn't die. This was simple and cute. Awesome good.
ReplyDelete~Mia Tolliver
Great twist to the story. I thought the dog was going to die. Also good use of imagery.
ReplyDeleteLuis Toro
Period 6
Mariah,
ReplyDeleteI see what you wanted to share with your audience. From my understanding of how you used a dog as a symbol of hopelessness; your hands as a symbol of hard work; and your mindset as a symbol of willpower; I see that with the right mind putting hands to hard work, anything is possible. So, I learned we should use our talents and hope for the best, because the best thing that can happen is exactly what we dreamed of. Thank you for this.
Gian Velasquez P.1
I can't tell if the dog is supposed to be symbolic of something or if there is a double meaning intended within the story but it was still very enjoyable to read. The graphic imagery you created about the scene was impressive, good job
ReplyDelete