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Sunday, November 16, 2014

"The Buzzer Beater" by Altierre P.



            The air was cold and I needed to concentrate. I had my gear on and I was ready for action. What was a game to me may be hell to other people. There were only two scenarios that that could end the game. I would either make the game-winning shot or miss to find me in a deep, dark place. With that in mind, I looked to my team one more time and said a prayer. It was time for me to make a play. I had to gather my courage once more even though I had done this millions of times before. The clock was ticking and and time was running out. With sweat running down my forehead and with steady hands, I went for the play. I had cut the blue wire diffusing the bomb with only seconds to spare. Being on the bomb squad was a very nerve-racking job. Although I had diffused many bombs before successfully, I can't help but to think that the the end of the game may be near.  I looked to my team and I gave the go-ahead to enter the building for I had just beat the buzzer and hit a three-pointer in the game of life once more.

15 comments:

  1. Your story was very interesting,I really enjoyed the imagery and detail you put in this story . Great Job

    Valerie Perez
    11/19/14

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  2. i totally thought that it was a basketball game. i was so caught off guard when u said "bomb squad". Great plot twist

    Tommy McDonnell

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  3. Noah Martinez
    p.2
    In the beginning of the story it sounded like a basketball game but great plot twist.

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  4. You had me confused in the beginning but then it all clicked. Great story!
    Josie Starr
    period 2

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  5. I enjoyed reading your story. You used a great source of imagery. Your piece of writing was great!
    Jobelle Dauz
    Period 2

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  6. This story was great! I liked the imagery that was used and how descriptive you were. -Tatiana Nunez

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  7. I was originally intrigued by the title. when i started to read i was very impressed by the imagery and then realized it was about a bomb squad. Good story and keep it up.
    By jesse jauregui

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  8. Marian Hollinquest
    Period 1
    The story was a bit ambiguous in the beginning, I wasn't sure hat the setting or occasion was. When I read the title I thought this story was going to be about baseball for some reason. Anyway, I liked how the situation was characterized to be more like a game than a life-threatening situation.

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  9. Love the plot twist. At first I thought you were talking about a sport but it was actually a bomb squad. Nice work.
    -Chiquitita Annisa

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  10. At first i thought is was going to be some sports story then i read bomb squad and blue wire. That really brought me back to the story and kept me reading, but i do like how you used sports as an analogy. Good job!!
    Andrew Hernandez
    Period 2

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  11. I was mind-blown with how you made it sound like a basketball game at the beginning, amazing use of imagery.

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  12. Wow imagery was on point. I thought this was about a basketball game but I was wrong it was about a bomb squad.
    ~Clarissa Rojas
    Period 2

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  13. Wow plot twister that it was a bomb squad, I thought it was a sport. Good details as well. Keep it up.

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  14. Very nice imagery. The whole time i thought it was about a basketball game. Great Story!

    Joseph Mendez
    per.2

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  15. I really like all of the detail and the suspense into the story. Great job. would love to read more.
    P.6
    Kyle Baker

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