We were in the bottom of the ninth
inning; the score was all tied up. This was the deciding game, whoever won this
clinched the division title and went on to the playoffs. The bases were loaded,
as the leagues most feared batter looked in taking one last practice swing as
he braced himself for the memorable at bat. The pitcher, a young rookie looked
in shakily as he knew this could be it. He picked up the rosin bag to dry off
his hands, kicked his cleats to get all the dirt off and dug into the rubber
ready to fire the first pitch. The batter, walking to the plate staring the
pitcher down the entire time dug his cleats in and pointed his bat to the
outfield trying to intimidate the pitcher. The pitcher with a sense of fear
shooting through his body looked in for the pitch, got set and fired a fastball
right down the middle for the first strike. The batter shaking his head as if
it was a bad call dug in again and got ready for the next pitch. Swoosh; again
the pitcher fired and threw a perfect pitch right on the corner causing the
umpire to call strike 2 and for the batter to step out in anger as he exchanged
some nasty words with the umpire. The umpire taking off his mask warned the
batter “one more word and your out of here”. The batter looking back in anger
spits, slaps his helmet and gets ready to see another pitch. The pitcher now
full of nerves knows that with this next pitch he could get himself out of the
jam and back to the security of the dugout. He steps off looks up to the sky
for support, takes a deep breath and steps back onto the rubber now with some
confidence ready for the next pitch. The catcher gives the next sign, a curve
ball down and out, the one pitch that this batter has trouble with, the one
pitch that could save the young pitcher and get him out of this bad jam. He
comes set, winds up and snaps his wrist except the ball did not get enough off
of his hand as it floated in directly over the plate, right in the batters
sweet spot. The batter now with huge glowing eyes takes a huge hack and smack!
The outfielder looks up and turns his head in a dead sprint to the wall, the batter
looks up flipping his bat in certainty, the pitcher puts his hands behind his
head knowing he messed up. The cleats of the outfielder hit the warning track and
he stops, leaning against the wall as the ball soars over the outfield fence 6
rows up. The batter rounds the 3rd to meet his team at home plate
for the celebration. The umpires calling ball game begin to walk off the field.
The pitcher slowly walks off with his head down to be greeted by his coach who
simply tells him one sentence. “ You win some and you loose some kid.”
Find the shape and tell it!
I must have missed the title when I first read it because I was completely caught off guard when the pitcher failed to throw a third strike. I liked how descriptive your imagery was - it made me feel as if I were physically watching the game. Nice job!
ReplyDelete-Christina Tapia
I love the quote at the end. I remember when my coach would always tell my team that whenever we lost a game. I think this is a great piece because it really shows a message. good job!(:
ReplyDeleteWell done. From the beginning of the narrative I was hooked by the concept of a ninth inning stretch were the pitcher was in a "pickle". The whole situation was described perfectly. I was able to picture the entire event in my head, the nervous emotions of the pitcher and the wind up and strikes of the pitcher. The story uses a great use of drama in order to convey the tone of the story. The pitcher seems to have gotten out of the "pickle" when he got two strikes but when he loses his concentration for just one second the batter makes a home run. The fact that there was not a happy ending made the story realistic and relatable. Great story.
ReplyDeleteThat was a great story. I love how your story started off the plot. It made it more interesting to keep going.You also explained the conflict and setting, especially the feelings of this character very well.
ReplyDelete~Funmi Sule
Per.2 5/10/14
8:47 pm
I love that quote in the last sentence!Great detail in the story.Good Job! -Alexis Chiong p6
ReplyDeleteGood job Tyler. This was very descriptive and does not only apply to baseball, but to life. All we can hope for is that we win more than we lose.
ReplyDeleteTyler! The first two sentences of your written piece really caught my attention. I just wanted to keep on reading! I like how you used baseball terms. It made the story sound more professional. The way you structured your sentences made me feel as if I were in the place of the batter and the pitcher. I felt nervous and felt the intenseness of the game. I also like how the title of your post foreshadows what happens in the story. Good job!
ReplyDelete- Tia Basa
I LOVE THIS! I play baseball to, and the way you describe the situation it felt as if I WAS the pitcher in the bottom of the ninth with the game on the line. I can definitely relate to this, except usually im the batter having to come up with bases loaded with 2 outs and a 3-2 count having to change the game with 1 swing of the bat. great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I liked the detail you put in every single line in this story. Your use of imagery allows the reader to easily picture the scene you have described. I find it interesting how you have made the pitcher unsuccessful at striking the batter out in the end, despite how successful his other two pitches are right before, It certainly spiced up the story and kept the reader thinking what would happen next. Nice job!
ReplyDelete-Hsing Chang
Wonderful job with this piece! the imagery you used in this piece was simply outstanding! I could vividly imagine everything that was going on as I was reading through your piece. Even though I'm not too familiar with baseball, your usage of descriptive words allowed me to visualize and understand everything that was going on, which is amazing. To be honest, I thought that this would have one of those cliche endings where the rookie player ends up saving the whole team, but you had quite the opposite conclusion from what I expected. By doing so, it really made me think more deeply about the piece. When you're reading through it at first, this piece may seem like a simple, entertaining read. Boy, was I wrong. The message you put in this piece about how you "win some and you lose some" is quite clever and inspiring. This message not only applies to baseball, but to real life as well. Thank you for this amazing piece!
ReplyDeleteWonderful job with this piece! the imagery you used in this piece was simply outstanding! I could vividly imagine everything that was going on as I was reading through your piece. Even though I'm not too familiar with baseball, your usage of descriptive words allowed me to visualize and understand everything that was going on, which is amazing. To be honest, I thought that this would have one of those cliche endings where the rookie player ends up saving the whole team, but you had quite the opposite conclusion from what I expected. By doing so, it really made me think more deeply about the piece. When you're reading through it at first, this piece may seem like a simple, entertaining read. Boy, was I wrong. The message you put in this piece about how you "win some and you lose some" is quite clever and inspiring. This message not only applies to baseball, but to real life as well. Thank you for this amazing piece!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! A tale of all or nothing, sadly the kid got nothing, but this tells you to never give up and keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you ended the story with the coach saying, "You win some and you lose some kid". This short, but meaningful phrase can be applied to nearly any aspect of life: sports; school; work; etc. The phrase does two things at the same time. First, it acts as a "pick me up", letting the person who failed their goal be able to handle the loss without beating them self up too much. Second, it gives the person hope and determination for the future, so that when they encounter this scenario again, they will achieve success.
ReplyDeleteA tense story with an unexpected ending. I don't know much about Baseball, but I liked this story.
ReplyDelete-Josh Barton
Period 6
I don't know anything about baseball but I understood a lot of it, you can't be the best in the game you just have to keep trying.
ReplyDeleteThis story had a great message and wonderful imagery that helped depict the setting of the story. The descriptive language used to describe that pitcher, stadium, and batter provided enough information that those without knowledge of baseball would easily be able to understand the situation and the meaning behind it.
ReplyDeleteThis is great because the point of the story doesn't only apply to baseball. It doesn't even have to apply to just sports. The message can be used in all aspects of life. -Noah Valdez
ReplyDeleteWow Tyler, that was great. Your build up was so fantastic, that I was praying the pitcher would strike out the batter. You did a fantastic job, and the use of some certain lingo, really added to the piece.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Wiliams
Nice job on using descriptive diction to convey a theme that is not only applicable to baseball, but to life in general.
ReplyDelete-Sabrina Rondero
Per.5
Nice job using description and good detail in order to convey your message. I like how it ties into life.
ReplyDeleteAmazing imagery and attention to detail. I could see it right in front of me.
ReplyDelete-Kevin McCondichie
Wow Tyler, this is pretty amazing if I do say so myself. It was very descriptive and created a very climb up to the climax. Nice Job Tyler!
ReplyDeleteTaylor Robles
Your piece was very descriptive to the pint where I could visually see everything happening right before my very eyes! great job.
ReplyDelete-Erin Napoleon
Loved your use of imagery to describe the baseball game very descriptive and detailed story Great Job! -Haley Brown
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic entry. You grabbed my attention in the first few lines of your story. The use of imagery describing the way the batter "stares down" the pitcher, I can visualize that moment of the game. Also, I can feel the suspense of the game when you say that the pitcher already had two strikes and only needed that last pitch made me keep wanting to read. Great job!
ReplyDeleteClassic! Every kid dreams about being a hero and hitting a walk off homerun. The real lesson to take from this piece is true and can be applied to all aspects of life. Good job on making it feel as I was there in the stadium! well written
ReplyDelete-Cody Molla p. 4
This was a suspenseful story. I kept skipping lines to find out what was going to happen next and I did not expect that outcome. The final quote was great. I believe coaches like that are sometimes a lot more effective than coaches who scream down your throat.
ReplyDeleteI love all the detail and the suspense in the story! Your unique use of diction and imagery gave a deeper understanding to what was going on, and on top of all that the piece has a great lesson to give. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteWow this was filled with so much detail and I like that I felt like I was part of the story, sitting in the stands watching everything happen. That last line was definitely really true for baseball and for life in general!
ReplyDeleteThis story was filled with so much suspense. The last quote was my favorite part though because it is so true Great job.
ReplyDelete~Aaliyah S.
The amount of detail that you used to describe the scene was amazing. It was so vivid and had such a suspenceful tone. Overall you did a great job in capturing the feel of a baseball game.
ReplyDelete-Marcopolo Anzora
This narrative really creates a really suspenseful story that shines light in the reality of the world. There isn't always a happy ending where the main protagonist wins; even in these cases where the antagonist of the story seems like a cocky tool. The situational irony in the end where I expected the typical cliche, game-winning pitch really delivered the shock in the theme of your story. As your closing sentence states, in life "You win some and you lose some..." Good job!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was really interesting how you managed to have the feeling of a happy ending even though the other team won the game. Very well done and incredibly descriptive!
ReplyDeleteJack McDonald
Per. 4
This story was very enjoyable and fun to read! i really liked how descriptive it was and the message! Great job!
ReplyDelete-Melissa Delgado
You wrote a very suspenseful piece with a nice twist at the end. The detail within the entry created a very vivid scene between the pitcher and batter.
ReplyDeleteThe story is filled with so much suspense, i just had to finish the whole story. The imagery used throughout is really descriptive, as if you have those moments when times feels as if it's slowed down due to pressure. Great story! Very much liked it.
ReplyDeletewow tyler this has to be the best blog submission that i have seen all year. all of the amazing detail that you put into the story was amazing. i was sitting on the edge of my seat the entire time wondering what was going to happen next. truely amazing.
ReplyDeletegreat piece! the imagery really helped me picture what was going on the entire time. i liked how it ended, with the coach not disappointed. these moments were the worst!
ReplyDeleteAlan Medina
Period 1
it was rly descriptive and the coachs comforting words were awesome
ReplyDelete