Pages

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

"One Molip Too Many" by Heidy G



                  The vast darkness echoed calmness as we sailed through the galaxy. It seemed to reflect the inside of the ship. All was quiet. Not a single Molip made a sound, usual for them. Their long, telescopic eyes, attached to their slimy green bodies, concentrated on the information before them. Our destination was Earth. We were set to arrive there soon, scheduled to conduct further experiments on the creatures inhabiting the planet.
                  I’d visited Earth a few times before. The humans there were so rude, always asking about my day. Pesky humans. The Molips would leave me on Earth alone for some time. I was forced to interact with the earthlings. Meanwhile, they flew around in their spaceship, conducting tests.
                  I hoped that the new device under construction back in Bemana would work and allow me to be one of them, a Molip. I had nothing against my human form, even with all of its strange protruding angles and shapes. But I longed to be just like them. I was raised by them, after being abandoned as a child. What other humans considered as frightening and ugly, I considered as beauty. I admired them. They had such great minds and moral standards, no human could ever compare.
                  The Molips were back sooner than I had expected. Their experiments were successful, like always. It was time to go back home to Bemana now.
                  The leader of the expedition suddenly approached me. I was taken aback with surprise, as usually molips did not interact with one another.
                  “H1, I’ve been informed to direct you to base TAL103,” he said.
                  “May I ask why, M522?”
                  “It seems that the HM Converter has been finalized. The committee would like to try it out now.”
                  This was what I had been waiting for all these years. Finally, the chance to be one of them had come. Pure joy coursed through me.  However, I knew that any strong demonstration of emotion went against the codes of the Molip Committee.
                  “Alright M522.”
                  The ship was started again. The journey to Bemana had never been as long as it was today. We soon arrived at the base, an imposing building a few hundred miles away from the nearest community.
                  “M38 will meet you inside,” M522 informed me. I nodded and exited the ship.
                  I walked quickly towards the building, cutting through the dense atmosphere. While on Bemana, I had to wear multiple devices in order to survive its harsh conditions. I entered the base and was met with Molips, all waiting for me.
                  “It’s ready,” they said. “But are you?”
                  “Yes,” I replied with no hesitation.
                  “Enter the chamber.”
                  The complex machine seemed daunting, but this was what I wanted. I stepped inside of it and waited. Suddenly the doors closed and a gas emanated from all around. I felt different, tingly. And then, it all stopped. The doors opened.
                  As I stepped out of the chamber, I heard them exclaim, “What is that?!”
                  “A monster!”

16 comments:

  1. I definitely did not expect the twist at the end!! I love the irony of it all - a human wants to become an alien, but in the process, gets turned into a creature which even aliens view as a monster. This premise would make a great pilot episode for some sci-fi series. If you decide to continue the story, let me know because I would love to read it!
    -Christina Tapia

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really liked your story Heidy! The ending though surprised me. I thought the aliens would appreciate M38, but instead they were disgusted. I really liked how you were detailed throughout the piece and the structure is very well organized. You know, this could make an amazing book or even movie. I can very much imagine it. Good job!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heidy, why are you so perfect? I could totally imagine you telling this story in your cute voice and I could imagine you sitting at home laughing as you wrote this story. I loved your approach to humanity and outer space. We really are the aliens, because humans are so mean and evil-spirited. You are truly a Molip Heidy, genuine and moral! ^-^

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a unique and interesting story! I really enjoyed how unique the main character was and the story ended very well. I wanted to you keep writing so I could know more. I also think that your story could serve as a moral about accepting who you are for anyone that reads it. I liked the science fiction aspect. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I enjoyed this science fiction story! I love these types of stories and your piece, Heidy, was so refreshing. The plot twist at the end supplied some humor for me with how the aliens themselves saw a monster before them. Lovely work!
    -Hennessy Verduzco

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really liked this story. I could imagine everything that you explained. I especially liked the twisted ending. Nice work.
    ~Aaliyah Santiago

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love when stories like these have a lot twist at the end. Who would of thought a human would want to be an alien and in conclusion turn into something even aliens think is hideous! Just goes to show you need to be careful what you wish for.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I could definitely see this as a mini story in newspapers, the little twist at the end was hilariously comedic, who would have thought he would just become these "aliens" without understanding the circumstances and the possibilities of failures. Kind of like the book "Frankenstein", he wanted to be accepted by everyone but then everyone ended up calling him a monster.
    It was a great story, I liked it because of the comedic devices, it's entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I absolutely love science fiction! and your point of view from a human that was raised by aliens is great. Your story also had a great moral lesson of being careful what you wish for they may end in unlikely consequences. Great Job! - Haley Brown

    ReplyDelete
  10. I really loved this story! The vivid imagery you used was so amazing and I really loved the twist at the end! I love stories like this since I love science fiction, good job!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woah! I did not expect that ending. I kind of feel like no matter what he wouldn't be accepted... I like the theme that you can't be something you're not. Poor human, can't be accepted by the Molips. I really like that you made it go beyond humanity and included your own unique alien race! Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Whoa! This story is really cool and interesting! First off, I just love the whole outerspace setting and the human wanting to be an alien plotline. And then the plot twist ending was completely unpredictable! I loved it! It was sad, but really interesting. Great Job!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You immediately had me drawn to your story as I wanted to know what a Molip was! Your unique viewpoint of human and alien interactions is so interesting and something not many chose to write about. I don't think anyone could have done a better job with such a subject with your flamboyant imagery and details. Not to mention, I love science-fiction so I enjoyed reading it even more. Great Job Heidy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. This story's descriptive use of imagery really depicts space and the cast darkness that can cause fear just thinking about it. The story really takes you into its own world and makes you forget you are reading flash fiction. Excellent writing and creativity.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I really liked this story. I felt like I was reading a novel by a professional author. I really liked how much you grasped how truly mean and rude humans can be. Also the way you described the Molip civilization I believed it was a true civilization. The end was amazing leaving it with a plot twist and a cliff hanger.

    - Pierce Bryant

    ReplyDelete
  16. I loved your entry. After reading the title “A Testament of a Loving Father”, I thought I was in for a happy and sappy story about a father’s love for his children so, I was very surprised to find that your entry was not sappy at all. The point of view of the story is very interesting as the case almost 100% of the time in this type of situation is always retold in the victim’s point of view. I felt very conflicted as I was reading the story because one moment I was very angry at the father, but in another I began to pity him. I was not pleased with the way the father chose to treat his son, but I also pitied him because he seemed to have no other way in which he believed he could express and care for his son. Also, I connected this entry with the issue of males always having to be strong figures. Always having to maintain a strong and masculine image may have made it harder for the father to approach his son in a more loving, emotional way. He frustratingly chose to continue on with being a tough male and raising his own son to be a tough male using violence, eventually causing his own son to foster hate for him.

    ReplyDelete

Remember, make your comment positive, supportive, and specific to the piece you're commenting on. No anonymous comments! :)