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Monday, November 18, 2013

"How to Create Your Own Unicorn" by Rebeca G.


Millions of people have been deceived. Dogs are not man’s best friend at all. As the wisest and most studied scholars know, unicorns are by far both mortal and immortal beings’ most esteemed companions. However, obtaining a unicorn can be the cause of insurmountable debt for some people; since they are rear and valuable creatures, they are exceedingly expensive even in Diagon alley located in London. Nevertheless, there is still hope for those of you who wish to have a unicorn of your own. If you follow my recipe perfectly, you will be able to create your own living, breathing unicorn.
First, you must make sure that you have the ingredients for this recipe available. The ingredients include: the rib of a horse (preferably that of a mustang), a teaspoon of a phoenix’s ashes, a pinch of pixie dust, food coloring (the color of your choice), a strand of elf hair, a cup of moonlight, sea foam from the mermaid’s cavern, a tablespoon of an unpolluted dream, and an ice cream cone dipped in holy water (I have found that an ice cream cone is the most accessible to humans).  If you desire to create a flying unicorn, be sure to include two owl feathers as well.

1.     Fill a cauldron halfway with water and a pinch of pixie dust. Whisper into the cauldron the words, “Audāx anima, beatus bestia, formella castus caballas”.
2.     Allow the water and pixie dust to come to boil.
3.     Add the horse rib and the strand of elf hair. Mix slowly until the concoction begins to smoke.
4.     Slowly add a teaspoon of phoenix ashes into the mixture along with the cup of moonlight.* Lower the fire and let the mixture simmer.
*Make sure you pour the moonlight into the cauldron quickly or it will dissolve back into the night sky.
5.     Feel free to add the food coloring of your choice (white and black are the most common colors).
If you have chosen to add wings to your unicorn, be sure to add the 2 owl feathers immediately after the food coloring. Let it simmer for 10 minutes.
6.     Pour the sea foam into the concoction as well as the unpolluted dream. Make sure that you get the entire dream into the concoction. Stir the contents thoroughly.
7.     Finally, include the cone dipped in holy water and be sure to cover the cauldron with a steel lid.
·      After 20 minutes, open the lid and distinguish the fire that heats up the cauldron. Whisper the desired name of your unicorn into the cauldron and stand as far away as possible from the mixture. Be sure to stand at a distance that still allows you to see the bubbling contents of the pot clearly.
·      Your unicorn should pop out of the cauldron immediately after you utter the words, “Nascor, crescō, halō, luceō. Audeō, dingus bestia”. (Make sure you are the first person your unicorn sees).

Enjoy your new creation! Remember that besides grass, your unicorn also requires an oompaloompa fruit, found in the Netherlands, in order to be as healthy as possible. Good Luck! I wish you the best with your new unicorn.

42 comments:

  1. This was amazing Rebeca, especially for anyone who loves Harry Potter. I thought your use of ingredients, which I'm pretty sure are mentioned in the actual J.K rolling novels, was funny. Overall, I liked the humorous aspect of your recipe, specifically how you addressed the fact that the ice cream cone is most likely the only assessable item that humans can get.

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  2. This made me giggle...I actually want to pull together the ingredients and go for it, but I fear I would create some sort of mutated bicorn instead of a majestic unicorn. You have made a set of instructions somehow very entertaining and exciting, especially for us Harry Potter fan-girls/boys. The subtle humor and intricate descriptions have got me thinking of unicorn names....

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  3. ok so i tried making this and i didnt turn out as a unicorn i think i added way to much pixi dust and not enough elf hair. But nice story i really loved that you put ingrediants in your story. NIce work

    by antonio munoz

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  4. I really like the organization of your instructional article! The instructions were very clear and detailed. I was hooked on this article just from reading your first sentence: "millions of people have been deceived." I was very curious and you got my attention right away! Your intro paragraph was very strong and captivating! Great job!

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  5. Rebeca, this is by far the most humorous how-to article I have ever read. The introduction was bursting with originality and flare that made me eager to read more. I love the fact that you used common cooking terms throughout your description of each step. If I'm ever in need of a unicorn, I'll know what to do!

    -Christina Tapia

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  6. This piece totally made a smile on my face! Bringing Harry Potter into it made me smile even more because I am such a fan. The instructions you listed out were very amusing and very detailed. I never actually thought anyone would write an article on making unicorns. For some reason, I could not get this piece out of my head, so I told my brother to read your piece. It made him giggle and think about unicorns. Overall, I found this piece very fascinating and funny! This piece made me want to sit in front of the TV and watch Harry Potter movies!

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  7. This was very entertaining to read! I liked how detailed you described your ingredients and how you incorporated Latin phrases for your spells! In addition, the way you incorporated bits of humor throughout the instruction made me smile as I read through the whole thing. Good job! By the way, if I didn't put any food coloring in, would my unicorn turn out to be transparent?

    -Ben Chang

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  8. Well someone is obviously a Harry Potter fan hehe This was just great Rebeca! I love how you had no limits to your creativity and it sounds like you had fun writing this. The first line starts off so serious so I was expecting the rest of your story to expand on some deep conspiracy theory (or something like that), but it went in a completely different direction than I was expecting. Which added to the hilarity of this piece. Good job :)

    -Danieh Abu Alrub

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  9. Caution* Don't try this at home.
    Very funny though, I like the little things like "make sure you are the first person the unicorn sees"

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  10. I loved your article! I was very intrigued with your ingredients you listed out. I never knew a unicorn can be created out of an unpolluted dream or an ice cream cone dipped in holy water. Great use of organization. I was able to follow your process perfectly.

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  11. Very specific and humorous which is good. Only problem is I am having great difficulty getting the ingredients. Kmart was no help. Could someone else lend me an unpolluted dream because Jack keeps polluting mine hahaha good job though!

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  12. Wow I never new this was possible great tip!

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  13. My unicorn didnt really come out......
    Having never made a unicorn before I followed your intructions very carefully but something mut have gone wrong because once he cameforth from the cauldron he just up and left. so much for being my companion.
    -Justin Myers

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  14. Haha! Great job. This piece cheered me up to think that i actually want to try this just to see what happens. Very funny and creative. Good creativity and good piece.

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  15. This is very humorous because it seems very serious and formal but you're making something that is fictional! I love unicorns too!

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  16. Wow, this piece was so hilarious and enjoyable. I also loved how you incorporated some Harry Potter (huge Harry Potter fan, myself). At first, I sincerely thought this was going to be a real recipe on how to make a "unicorn". If anyone is a strong believer in mythical creatures, they would surely take this seriously because I know I did. Awesome job Rebeca !

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  17. Tell me why I can imagine you whispering these spells into a cauldron Rebeca! This how-to was so cute and actually really believable, you definitely put a lot of thought into this unicorn-making business! I loved the latin phrases; even though I don't know what they mean, they add to the credibility of this piece. :) This reminds me a lot of Frankenstein too!

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  18. I like that you gave us a completely crazy goal like creating a unicorn and made a recipe that actually seems like it could work. The hilarity of this piece is that it seems absolutely serious, even if the subject is more outrageous than realistic. I think this was a refreshing take on a hand-dandy how-to guide. Everything was creative and funny, and all the references to Harry Potter and other fictional magical realms are sure to make any person giggle. Great job!

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  19. As soon as I saw the title I knew I would love this so much! This had to have been one of the most entertaining things I've read in a while. You are so extremely creative and it shows throughout your writing! I don't think anyone else could've written a step by step guide on how to make a unicorn better than you! I really loved how your details were so specific! Keep up the great work Rebeca! :)

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  20. Oh man! I was dying when reading this!. Simply love the creativity and imagination. The instructions were easy to follow-- easy enough to actually try it myself! Great Job.
    -Jonathan Mejia

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  21. this was so great. it was both fun to read and very informational and was able to help the readers know how to create a unicorn ! what i better than a unicorn ! -abigail rich

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  22. AHA! This is so funny! I love it ! The excellent combination of your nonchalant tone and colloquial language about something silly like making a unicorn is what made the piece very humorous. I also loved the cute details like "preferably that of a mustang". And of course the allusion to Harry Potter was just icing on the cake, great job!!!

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  23. Your piece was amazing and fun! I particularly liked the descriptive language you used for the ingredients. While reading my imagination was stimulated and my mind explored the necessary elements. I felt motivated to make a unicorn of my own. I appreciate your ability to remind me that I am still a kid. Good job.

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  24. Your imagination must be running wild, dude. I can't. UNICORNS *__* Haha.

    Anyways, I really love your attention to detail to this piece. I realized the "ingredients" are all pertaining to valiance, purity, and majesty-very fitting for a unicorn.

    I also found it amusing that you chose to include "chants" and "cauldrons"-things relative to witches. Yet I don't feel any sense of darkness or evil in this piece, which I found refreshing. Maybe I'm still hooked on Macbeth, idk. I wonder what those chants translate to?

    I thought your little notes were especially interesting. My favorite part was the side note on the last bullet point, where it seems you imply that the unicorn will see its creator as their parent. I thought that was kind of adorable. :3

    Overall, I really enjoyed this piece, despite how short it was! So much imagination and creativity was embedded into one short article, and I loved every word of it.

    Fantastic job, Beca. I think you have great potential in creative writing.

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  25. im a big fan of the harry potter books and have read mostly all of them and saw all the movies so i thought this was awsome. it reminded me of harry potter and made me want to go back and watch the movies lol. i thought it was very creative and unique and a good article for the harry potter and magic fans.

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  26. Rebeca! First of all, I applaud you! This how-to instructions guide really made me smile. From this guide I could tell that you're a very creative and humorous person! Your instructions were organized nicely and easy to follow. I am currently waiting 20 minutes and I am pretty excited to see my glorious, amazing, easy, breezy, beautiful unicorn. Instead of using two owl feathers, I used two duck feathers...hopefully my unicorn could fly...

    Well anyways, this is by far the greatest how-to make a unicorn guide! Good Job (:

    - Tia Basa

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  27. Rebeca, this was the best how-to I've read! The title caught my attention right away and made me laugh. I love your use of detail when using the ingredients such as pouring the moonlight or it would dissolve in the sky again. This was so creative and pretty much answered my lifelong desire to create my own pet unicorn! Awesome job :)

    -Alexandra Aguilar

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  28. This was very creative and entertaining. The tone was very serious which added to the humor of the piece. Great job.

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  29. Too great Rebecca. It was like reading one of the Harry Potter spell books. If I didn't know better, I would say you were a practicing witch at Hogwarts. Great job, this was too funny.
    -Lauren Williams

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  30. Thank you for sharing the recipe of creating unicorns! If only I had access to all these ingredients. Your post was very amusing. I could not stop laughing at the list of ingredients. I very much enjoyed it and can't wait to make my own unicorn as soon as I get my hands on elf hair. Directions seem easy enough to follow. Good job!

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  31. LOVED IT. You have a firm grasp of J.K. Rowling's writing style, and it made me want to go back and read all the books again. I think I will. Right after I make myself a unicorn and name him Humphrey. Thank you!

    -Jack McDonald

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  32. Aw, I thought this was absolutely so cute and the most precious thing I've ever read in my life. It kind of felt like I was locked into one of those books, like a Harry Potter book, or a book of the same genre. Ugh, it was just so great to read this. It just made my night completely, and let's be honest... I always have rough nights because I have a sad sad life, haha.

    But this was just so adorable; your ingredients not only made me feel like I was locked into a book, but as if I was just floated off into another world; like an ideal, perfect, peaceful world that lacks the evils of society and corruption. It felt like I was just laying on a fluffy cloud surrounded by cute, fat, fluffy, plump animals. I can not and will not get over this short How to:. This is so original, mainly because of all the ingredients you proposed here. I also loved your organizational structure, it gives clear and concise instructions that even my dogs can follow! :D
    The latin phrases, were just hands down what probably captured my heart. I felt it was like one of those Harry Potter moments, when Harry starts speaking parseltongue. I don't know, it's just me, haha!

    Good job! eeeep. I. am. swooned.

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  33. I love how you start this out in a serious manner (I'll be honest, I forgot the title of this the moment I started reading the actual piece, so I found the piece to start out as serious), but it suddenly turns into something humorous, having a greater effect of its humor! Despite it being fiction, I loved how detailed you were with the instructions, as if it were real! If we are able to obtain those materials, I'm sure that it would be quite easy for us to create your own unicorn! This was quite the amusing read, and served as a great entertainment away from homework! Great job!

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  34. Gee Whiz! I always wanted a unicorn! I can't wait to start building my own unicorn... I really like the way you tackled this instructional article. It is very unique for its category. You created this with the purpose of providing humor and smiles onto the reader rather than being objective and stating an actual how-to in a serious matter. I thoroughly enjoyed this article and now feel like going on a Harry Potter marathon.

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  35. Great job Rebeca! You truly explored your creativity and a whole different world. The tone set in these instructions made me feel warm and fuzzy inside with a touch of sugar, spice, and everything nice! I loved the reader friendly element to your piece, and if I were to ever acquire all of these ingredients, I most definitely would create my own best friend. It was absolutely wonderful.

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  36. Rebeca. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU.
    Oh gosh, I felt goosebumps reading this.
    I laughed when the ingredients were listed for the recipe because of this part "[...] an ice cream cone dipped in holy water (I have found that an ice cream cone is the most accessible to humans)."
    I was thinking, "I think this ingredient in general is the most accessible to humans."

    Such an entertaining, "informative," and hilarious read, especially for those who love mystical, magical, and mythical creatures.

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  37. This is so cute and so creative! :D I really like that all of the ingredients necessary are so majestic just like how unicorns are described to be and also that you made the recipe so personal, like when you said "Whisper the desired name of your unicorn into the cauldron" and to make sure the unicorn sees the creator as the first person so that bond can be built. I also loved the ingredient of the two owl feathers because how awesome would it be for the unicorn to be able to fly! I loved it, Great Job! :D

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  38. Wow, if only these ingredients were real. Id make a unicorn the second i got off this blog! I really liked the little details you had like the cup of moonlight and how it would dissolve into the night sky. I thought it was really cute and it added to the humor of it. Good job!

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  39. This is by far the best recipe I've ever seen! I loved it so much. I can't wait to make my own unicorn on Saturday! Great Job. =)

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  40. I really love how creative you are in this story! I would have never thought to make a "how to" on building a unicorn haha. I love your use of details and you made it seem as if building a unicorn was super simple! If I had the proper ingredients I would've easily been able to follow your step by step instructions :) Great job!

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  41. Haha I thought those little chants were pretty cool. This was creative, I'll be back I'm gonna make myself a unicorn -Felisa Monroy

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  42. Wow this was extremely creative, the step process was extremely fun to read. Excellent job! I loved your references to Harry potter and how you said follow my recipe. Outstanding job!

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