“How
long have I been asleep?” From the look
of the world it could have been a lifetime.
It’s amazing how much can change in a few months. Crawling out of his den after a winter of
hibernation Franklin felt as if he had a second shot at life. A chance to start anew; and Franklin knew
that chances shouldn’t be wasted. This
time around he would do things differently.
Forget about the same old foraging for food, fishing in streams, taking
naps, and doing what bears are famous for doing in the woods. Now is the time to experience the adventures
of life! Although those adventures will
have to wait because four months asleep works up a rather large appetite. Hunger satisfied Franklin turns his bear
brain to more philosophical thoughts pondering the infinite universe of all
that is known and unknown staring at the trees whose branches were filling up
with new green leaves. That’s when it
crept into his brain; a question. But
not just any question the most profound question of them all. What happened to the old leaves? When Franklin had gone into his den to start
his winter nap the leaves had all been on the trees. They were orange and red
and brown not green but they had filled the branches all the same. Now these trees were nearly naked covered
only by the scant new growth of leaves.
Something had happened to them while he was sleeping. There was only one explanation. Without Franklin there to watch the trees
someone had stolen all their leaves.
“Treacherous thief!!” he roared.
The
thief had to be caught. And to do that
Franklin would have to do what no bear had ever done. He would have to defy the laws of
nature. Resist an age old instinct. Franklin must stay awake all winter. It was going to be quite the task. Franklin had never seen the winter but he knew
that he would be risking his life to protect the trees he loved. And so every day that year he waited watching
the trees as their branches filled with green leaves blocking the sun’s
light. As the months went by the leaves
traded in their green tint for countless shades of brown and red and orange and
yellow and gold. And Franklin became
very hungry. He should be eating as much
as he can but still he sat and watched the trees. Franklin became very sleepy. He should be
crawling into his den for a long winter sleep but still he watched the
trees. And then as he watched something
very strange began to happen. The leaves
fell from the trees. First one then
another and another on every tree and as the days passed the ground became a
carpet of leaves and when the trees were bare the snow began to fall. Nobody stole the leaves. The trees gave them
up. Puzzled Franklin slowly walked to
his den and lay down. He had seen what
no other bear ever had seen and as he slept the trees watched over him.
I like the way you personified the trees at the end of the last paragraph because to me it demonstrates how nature always balances itself out. The bear watches the trees and then the trees watch the bear while he sleeps.
ReplyDeleteYour story was very interesting can creative. The story had a nice flow and was an easy read.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I like how you actually gave the bear a mind and gave him the ability to think and speak. I also like how well it is written using great literature and english in it.
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was very creative. I actually laughed a couple of times while reading it :) I found it really entertaining and I think it is a story that is worthy of being in a children's book.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a cute story. Something both child and adult can relate to. It reminds me of my childhood when I would watch the cartoon show ' Little Bear '. Franklin had the innocence of a child but the vocabulary of an adult. I loved it!
ReplyDelete- Hannah Mueller (12) ; period 5
this is a really great story it was very interesting to read and it was about nature so i loved it
ReplyDeleteJustin. If I could read your mind, I feel this is what it would sound like. Haha. Definitely the cutest story by far! I like your idea and his determination to do the impossible (in the woods I might add. Perfect for the lumberjack that wrote it!). Very Justin through and through.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story. I'm sure I could look very deeply into it, and perhaps pull out some symbolism, like the bear representing man and his inherent need to fix problems that may or may not really be there, or man's rebellious nature. I could even pull out the ides that was mentioned above about nature always balancing itself out. The story has hidden layers in it. But at the same time, it's a great story that you could tell to children and have them understand. I love that it can work on both levels. Franklin is an engaging, hilarious character, and even though you had a limited amount of words to write the story, you still made him lovable and relatable. Honestly, I could see this being made into a children's book or a short comic. It was extremely entertaining. Great job!
ReplyDeleteCould not agree more with Sarah!
DeleteSuch a fun and lighthearted story. It's great that even bears have philosophical thoughts. I bet Franklin will be very hungry next spring!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you intended for it to be cute, but it was really cute! Haha! Anyways, i really like how you made the bear think, like he thought simple thoughts, kind of like a child. But my favorite thing about your story is the way it ended. I loved how you said the trees were watching over the bear as he slept, just like he did for them. I just loved it!
ReplyDeleteTaylor R. (12) P. 4
Justin, your story was so cute!!! While I read this story, I could not help but notice that it totally reminded me of your love for the wilderness. You were able to mix a wonderful story with your amazing love of the great outdoors. The story was very creative and thoroughly had my attention the entire time. Of course I could always expect the most creative stories from the Great Lumberjack!
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing. I love it,
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of a children's story. It was so neat to see an event as ordinary as the falling of the leaves presented through so unique a viewpoint. I especially loved the touching quality of the last sentence; it granted an overall sense of finality to the piece. You did a wonderful job at representing the mindset of the bear and his train of thought seemed perfectly plausible. I think you have serious potential as a children's author!
ReplyDelete-Christina Tapia
This was a fun little story to read and it seems like it would be a good fit for a children's book. This reminded me of a Winnie-the-Pooh book that was about how Piglet thought a monster was knocking on his window, but it was simply the wind blowing the tree branches against it. It reminded me of that because they both explain a natural occurrence through animal characters.
ReplyDeleteI like how this story has a lot of fun feeling to it and it makes the reader smile. It has a nice flow to it because there is a lot of description and imagery not just boring sentences. Character use was very fluent and because of that the story went with the flow.
ReplyDeleteThis story was really cute! I love how Franklin is actually bewildered over the leaves disappearing - it created a wonderful dramatic irony! Nice use of allteration throughout and I like how at the end the tables turn with the trees watching him. All in all, cute and intriguing!
ReplyDeleteThis brought me back to when I was a little kid reading those books where an animal is wondering why this happens. I really liked the way you showed how this was actually a natural occurrence and how nature can balance itself out, with the bear watching the trees for sometime and then when the bear sleeps the trees watch over him. It was a really interesting story.
ReplyDeleteThis story is AWESOME! I liked how you presented something that is common (the falling of leaves) as extraordinary. This story reminds me of myself and how I am inquisitive about the world around me and my hypotheses are not always accurate, but in the end I learn a lot. I also liked how you inverted the roles at the end of the story and how the personification of the trees helps to give the story closure. This story made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how something so simple that we take for granted so often, like the disappearance of leaves in the winter, was presented in such a way in your story that it was gripping and caught my attention. In its entirety the short story gave me the feeling of some sort of child-like curiosity, which is a nice detour from some of the more serious pieces we have been reading in class lately. So this story was very refreshing and eloquently written.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how Franklin the Bear rationalized in his attempt to solve the problem of the missing leaves
ReplyDeleteNice story.I liked your word usage abd the way you made Franklin seem like a real person in the sense that he had a brain. The tree personification was a nice touch because I liked how the trees were watching over him.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very well put together. I liked that there was an introduction of a bear's hibernation and Franklin's urge to become an individual and seek the "thief" of his beloved trees. I agree with Sarah in which it did engage to several audiences and it has hidden layers of devices and meanings such as the use of personification of the trees. I can definitely see this becoming a children's book! Excellent work!
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was reading a very advanced children's book. I loved your use of imagery. Very vivid and clear!
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was reading an advanced children's story. I loved your use of imagery. Very descriptive and vivid!
ReplyDeleteI like your story. It really shows that nature works in a curious way. I also thought it was cool how you gave the bear a positive outlook on life.
ReplyDeleteSabrina R. Per.5
You're story was so creative! The way you detailed and described the bear made me really connect to the bear and what is like to be a bear. I especially enjoyed the bear's confusion as to what happened to the leaves on the trees. I love how it all tied together with the last sentence, I literally kept reading it over and over because it drew me in. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was great. The character development of the bear, Franklin, was truly captivating. And the description of the wilderness and change of seasons was a perfect way to describe the setting. Overall this was a fun and enjoyable read, great job Justin.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an interesting story to read! By starting off your story with something that the bear says, I was immediately dragged in (for the lack of better words... I know there's a better phrase for this, but I can't seem to remember it) to the story! Right after reading that first line, I didn't want to stop reading! I'm glad I didn't want to stop reading, or else I would have missed out on this wonderful story you wrote. I was curious as to where you would be taking the plot of this story, and as that curiousness built up, I couldn't help but burst out laughing once I read "...someone had stolen all their leaves." This was such a fun story to read! Fantastic job!!!
ReplyDeleteGood Job! It was easy to read and understand.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really liked the comedic aspect and tone of this piece. You did a great job at making me smile-I was picturing a cute bear like the ones you see on the 'Charmin' commercials.
ReplyDeleteThe story as a whole was really endearing. Franklin the Bear made quite an impression on me, because of his "philosophical thoughts," his love for the trees, and his curiosity concerning the trees.
If I were to quickly summarize this story in one sentence, it'd probably be sound ludicrous because I would merely say: "It's about a bear named Franklin who defies the laws of bears and nature by staying up past his hibernation period to watch the trees."
However, I know this story is a lot more than that. I actually kind of felt bad Franklin when he realized the truth of the trees and how they "gave up" the leaves. I can't imagine learning something so life-changing like that...I would probably freak out, to be honest. Nor can I imagine how disappointing, or even scary, that would feel like.
Although this story is quite a jump from reality, I found it very enjoyable. I think it'd be fitting to publish as a children's book. Great job, Justin! (:
This is amazingly cute. My eight year old brother adored bears as a baby so I had him read this story to me for his nightly reading for school because he had nothing to read but anyways! (Digressing) This is an amusing story filled with colorful and entertaining imagery. A bear filled with curiousity about something as innocent as where do the trees go during fall and winter reminds us humans just how lucky we are to be a superior species.
ReplyDeleteThis story was so refreshing and innocent it put a smile on my face as I read through it! Franklin was an adorable character from his name to his protectiveness over the trees and because I knew what was really happening to the trees like the other readers the story was humorous and fun! Personification of Franklin and the trees in the end made this story even more lighthearted and heartwarming. The diction, because of its simplicity, was a great tool to reinforce the playful tone that the storyline matched and the imagery made me wish that fall was here already!
ReplyDeleteJustin this story was very interesting from the start and kind of reminded me about the old thought that there is always something left to learn in life and often times the reality is completely opposite what you expected. the fact that the bear began to contemplate the world around him reminded me of humanities endless lust for knowledge and the journey to that knowledge.
ReplyDeleteThis story is so cute and creative! It really opned my mind to not always look at things from my prespective which I felt made the story kind of ironic because when a bear comes out from hibernation you don't think it would ever take a "philosophical" look at life and notice that the leaves are gone or that someone might have taken them. It was a smart idea to personify the bear with the way its thinking and talking like a human being since it really sets apart the story from the norm of high school reading, taking us back to our childhood of watching cartoons and reading books with colorful pictures, making the story a really fun and easy read. I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI thought the bear was going to think the leaves were committing suicide or something! This is definitely one of my favorites so far! I enjoyed hearing the bear's commitment to protecting the trees and how, at the end, they protect him.
ReplyDeleteI also like how the main character is an animal that is usually seen as powerful, but he's shown as protective in a caring way.
I like how your story is very detailed and that you are using big vocabulary good job.
ReplyDeleteJustin this truly shows your soft side. I love how the bear is the protector of the forest because he truly cares about his home. I kept smiling because of the bears tireless dedication as well.
ReplyDeleteI was smiling the whole time I read this and thought it was really cute! I enjoyed experiencing the viewpoint of a curious and determined bear. This reminded me of being a kid again and just reading a story that wasn't too serious made me laugh. I liked how you made the bear have a caring and thoughtful personality because normally bears are thought of to be frightening or intimidating. Good job Justin.
ReplyDelete-Alexandra Aguilar
Justin this is the most adorable tthing in the world! If I had kids I would buy this for my children! In all seriousness you should copyright this and get an illustrator and sell this! I loved the little comedic aspect but my favorite part was "and as he slept, the trees watched over him." It finished the story off so nicely!
ReplyDeleteI found this to be amusing and creative, to ponder things from a perspective of a bear. The short sentences really made this piece seem as a children's story, along with the charming bear. I'm not sure if the bear and his actions were meant to be a representation of man and their determination to do the impossible and find answers, but it seemed like it to me. A really enjoyable story.
ReplyDeleteJustin! I loved this so, so much! :D It was absolutely adorable and the cutest thing I've read in a while; it warmed my heart and made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside, especially since it seems like there's so many "bad" and "grown-up" things going on in the world right now. This story reminded me a lot of Winnie-the-Pooh days for some reason (probably cause they are both bears) and I'm not sure why, but "Cartoon Physics" in the sense that it was about a character that thought they could save the world! Franklin is such an endearing and relatable character. I'm not sure if I'm taking this apart too much, because obviously I'm not a bear, but personally I feel like Franklin in that the littlest things just make me so upset and I think I can solve all problems when realistically, I can't! Maybe that's why I love Franklin so much now. Other than my new-found adoration for this bear that I just wanna hug forever, I also am in love with your writing style! The sentences were varied in a perfect way; everything just FLOWED so well. The imagery and description helped me play out everything in my head and I just envisioned this whole story in a cute, classily-animated Pixar cartoon. My favorite line was "Nobody stole the leaves. The tree gave them up." It's almost sad, but in a really matter-of-fact, cute way; and when the "trees watch over him" its almost like how children think they can protect their parents or older siblings and what not, but in fact, they are the ones being looked after and loved. I think my comment doesn't do this story any justice at all, but I just want to tell you that I absolutely loved this poem so much and if you don't somehow become a children's book author (even as a little side job) I will forever be as depressed as Franklin going back to his den. I am seriously contemplating just pulling some random freshmen and reading them this story so I can pretend I'm a mother reading a bed time story to my children, I'm THAT in love with your story!
ReplyDeleteYour story was adorable! Am I allowed to say that? I love how you used the bear's inner thoughts to convey the entire story. You took the reader into an unknown world which can be challenging. Personifying the trees in the end was an excellent touch to the overall impact of your story.
ReplyDeleteAwesome work!
-Mackenzie Hopkins
This was super cute! I love how you made the bears personality come to life and defined his curious, witty,caring, and adventurous character. You're choice of diction is what really stood out to me, I love your use of high vocabulary words to describe such a simple plot and concept. Definitely felt like I was reading a children's book, but with very high vocabulary instead. If this were to be published as a Children's book, I would buy it no doubt!
ReplyDeleteA lot of people encouraged me to read this, and I'm definitely glad that I did. It's super adorable, fun and easy to read, and at the same time is very much quality work. It's quite nice to be able to "view" things from a bear's perspective. I liked how you utilized parallelism, in that the bear watches over the trees and trees then watch over the bear. In the end, I also liked the personification of the trees and your word choice of "The trees gave them up."; I can't exactly explain it, but something about that certain sentence makes my heart turn a little, in a good way of course!
ReplyDeleteWow, this story really should be in a children s book. I loved the use of repetition in the piece. It also had a lot of imagery with the leaves falling and all the different colors. This was a really well thought out story and very creative. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis story was breathtaking!
ReplyDeleteI got the impression from this story that anyone can do the impossible if they put their mind to do what they have set as their goal, and Franklin definitely did that as he did what no other bear had done before.
The title is attention grabbing, since I am drawn to such a title that resembles something drawn out of a children's storybook.
It was a very enjoyable read, especially when it got to the part when Franklin realized that the leaves just fell to the ground to create a carpet of leaves instead of someone stealing the leaves. Almost like a loss of innocence and a recognition to reality.
You took a simple idea of a bear watching leaves fall in the winter and made it into such an amazing short story. Your use of despcriptive imagery and personificatoin added a light-hearted tone to the poem; giving it a childlike feel. I wish this story had a continuation because I would love to hear more!
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in this passage the every couple of words, and thoughts were refreshing. The image looked like it could appeal to another audiance to makem. And steady in various tiki get the fee elk Dr
ReplyDeleteI think this is a very creative piece. This story was enjoyable, and it ended up putting a smile on my face. It was well written and conveyed the story effectively. Franklin's human-like ability to think for himself helped develop his personality for readers to understand. Typically, bears are viewed to be vicious and terrifying, but I like how you twisted it up and made your bear friendly. His willingness to protect the trees from thieves showed how much he cared for them. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteI see this story as an inspirational story because "Franklin" the bear wants to explore the world and see everything, so when he questions about the leaves he never gives up looking at the trees. We was dedicated so much that he didn't eat or sleep. This is what it takes to be successful and in the end he got what he wanted. Nice story!
ReplyDeleteThis story was interesting to me i liked it. Devin Jennings
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story for some reason as I was reading the bear kind of seemed human to me but then later I realized it wasn't. I liked how you made the bear think outside the box and not just do what every bear does. Great story
ReplyDelete-Chelsea Gonzales
This story was very humorous. I enjoyed it very much because it is a bear wondering in deep thought about what had happened to the leaves of the trees while he slept.
ReplyDelete-Trevor Ragland
I liked how your essay turned out great job.
ReplyDelete-Justin Hoffman
Very creative and well thought out. Cute too. May read this to my little niece as a little story. A few punctuation errors confused me at first,I believe "Hunger satisfied Franklin" needs a comma after satisfied. A second read helped clarify. Almost flawless, but that is the difference between an A, and the A+ you could get. I would get somebody to proofread your piece if you post another. Microsoft Word doesn't catch everything. Still a very good story though.
ReplyDelete-Kevin McCondichie
I loved it. I have to give you props for the creativity and thought that went into this piece because i could never come up with something like this. Not only was the idea good, it was portrayed wonderfully with a great flow that was easy to read.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the title, all I could think of was Franklin the Turtle, and felt like it would be something along those lines. Was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't, and despite Franklin's initial anger and confusion, knew I was in for a humorous story. The deep philosophical thoughts from the bear may or may not have been a tip off. Great read.
ReplyDeleteThis story is totally adorable. I loved how the bear woke up thinking all of leaves were stolen and dedicated his time to finding the thief, only to realize that the leaves disappearing was just a normal part of nature. I know everybody is saying this, but I feel like joining the bandwagon: This could really make a great children's book. Great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat story Justin. I really enjoyed this easy read. I thought it was ironical that the "puzzled Franklin" probably ended with asking himself "why would the trees give up their leaves?". He sought an answer to his original question only to find a new question and it made me laugh because this happens to all of us so many times through out our lives. We seek answers only to find more questions. You also reminded me of my childhood when I used to watch "Franklin" and "Little Bear" which made me smile.
ReplyDelete- Oscar Salazar
Justin! This is a very creative and enthralling written piece. I enjoyed reading your story because my interest grew as the bear's interest in the trees grew. :) You really made me think about the process of hibernation and what bears miss out on. I never thought about how disappointing it is for bears to miss out on witnessing leaves fall off of trees until reading your story. Thank you for teaching me the importance of recognizing nature and its affects on life.
ReplyDeleteThis story gave me the chills! Your title made me think this story was going to be about something cute like a child playing with his dinner pretending it was a monster or something, but I was obviously wrong! Regardless I really enjoyed reading your story! I loved that you made this story more like a view of the speaker's daily journal or diary because it gave me more of an insight on the mans constant uneasiness; I felt a great connection to the speaker because it was as if the speaker and I were having a prolonged conversation through which he shared everything he experienced and the thoughts going through his mind at specific times. I also loved the ending entry because it gave me one last sense of suspense that left me wondering and worried for the man's life! Awesome job! "The Creepy Pasta", yeah right! :D
ReplyDeleteI'm generally intrigued by any story that ventures into the mind of animals. My favorite book is actually about a race car- obsessed golden retriever and your work really reminded me of that book, which is a good thing. You created a bear with the mind of a curious toddler, which I absolutely love. Every aspect of this piece: the personification of the trees, Franklin's internal conflict, and the symbolism of leaves and hibernation, really did it's part tying the whole thing together. You go, Justin, you innovative young lad.
ReplyDelete-Chelsea Martinez
I liked this story it was very creative and intresting good job
ReplyDeleteGreat story. It was extremely cute and seemed like a great children's book. Anybody would love this piece and the element of an innocent bear trying to watch over the leaves is not only cute, but funny and entertaining. The ending was great as well, I really enjoyed the feeling of comfort at the end of this piece.
ReplyDeleteVery clever, incorporating the the cycles of the seasons to make a "thief" for the story. I especially enjoyed the line "he would have to do what no other bear had done before"
ReplyDelete-Alan Medina
"Franklin" (; Good choice on the name! I just wanted to start off by saying that I loved this story. Franklin was so motivated to stay awake to protect the trees only to realize that the trees are the ones who protect him. I must admit, you made me chuckle when you said, "doing what bears are famous for doing in the woods," because what are bears famous for doing in the woods? Your writing style definitely screams you. Make this into a children's book and I'll buy it!
ReplyDelete-Melissa Nollora
Great story! I like how Franklin broke the laws of nature and was determined to find out who stole the leaves.
ReplyDeleteIt was honestly a very fun, easy, and colorful reading. The way the bear was puzzled by how leaves fall was pretty adorable. The way you personified the trees and how nature, as a whole watches over the species that inhabit them. That place is their home so being over protective or curious is just natural. This reminded me of Winnie the pooh and it shows how bears aren't always bad. Every animal gets a bad reputation but it takes more than just a word to truly be convinced .
ReplyDeleteThis could be a children's book!(: it explains how beats don't get to see what goes on while they sleep so long but the way nature changes over time and that no ones stealing the leaves but nature itself! Haha good job(:
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you chose to base a story on a personified bear and change the viewpoint to a unique perspective. It give's a cute and entertaining story about the questions the bear has regarding the leaves of the trees, which could possibly be intended to symbolize the people who, unlike the rest of society, questions and tries to discover the mysteries of life instead of simply accepting it with an improbable hypothesis.
ReplyDeleteAwww that's was really adorable.I love how the story is very original and different. It was very entertaining and fun, short story to read . :) Nicee Job!
ReplyDelete"A Bear Named Franklin" conveys the innocence of a child, warming my heart. I couldn't help but grin and chuckle to myself as I read the phrase "tree thieves." The playful tone reminds me of my childhood filled with Winnie the Pooh books and teddy bears. I also enjoyed the contrast between Franklin's inner monologue about the meaning of life and his simple conclusion regarding the missing leaves. Excellent work! Emily Wilt per. 1
ReplyDeletethe personality of the bear was very humerous and i actually related Franklin to you. I felt as if the bear represented not only a bear but who justin myers is. The overall story was well written as there was a progression to the story creating a happy tone that made me feel exactly that; happy..The conclusion also left the audience with a theme about nature and life in general.
ReplyDeletekewl
ReplyDelete