"Big Brother" by Roselynn Z

 

            A family of five, a mother, a father, two sons, and a daughter. I am the daughter who happens to have two older brothers. Growing up with my brothers was always a good time. They were always there for me, and I was always there for them. Though the oldest is eleven years older than I am and the other is eight years older, they are only three years apart from each other. This makes me the very youngest, so I always saw them as my idols and as people to look up to. They would always guide me since the day I was conscious and had the need to make my own decisions. Of course they would bully me, and mess with me, but in a sibling matter because what siblings don’t in reality. I would mess with them back and it was always a fun time with those two.

            My oldest brother, we’ll call him Bob, is considered a good kid, smart, calm, but is also not afraid of being straightforward with you. He never has a problem speaking up to my brother and I about something we did wrong or of something he did not like that we said or did. My other brother, who I will call Andy, is considered as the more chaotic and loud one. He is smart too, he just is not a school person but succeeds to become a future firefighter paramedic. I would say I am a mix of both really, I enjoy school when it interests me, but I strive for good grades, mainly straight A’s. I can be straightforward when I am not shy. But I am also quite loud and energetic just like Andy. Life is always good with them, especially when we grew up in a home of parents arguing almost every day. They make me laugh, happy, forget the bad that goes on, and bring a sense of peace and comfort in my life.

            I was quite young when this happened, around seven or eight years old, when Bob moved at about eighteen or nineteen years old. He moved to Los Angeles where he stayed at a dorm then later an apartment with friends to go to college. He was successful and earned his bachelor's degree in public health. He now plans to go for his masters. Yet I remember the day quite clearly and it was a change in my whole family's lives. I just wasn’t quite aware yet of the situation so it did not affect me too much until I realized that since that day I barely get to see him but I do whenever we both are free. It is always a good time with him, I miss him for sure, as I feel like I can always talk to him about anything.

Soon enough, Andy moved too. It was only recently that Andy had actually moved with his girlfriend to an apartment which was in April just last year of 2023. He is more of a late bloomer, but both due to the ways things are right now and his reason to go, are reasonable. Now I love both my brothers dearly, but Andy was one that I came very close with and found everyday a happy and fun time. Since I grew up with him more, him leaving left an impact on me way more than I realized initially. After Bob left, it was just Andy and I, and of course my parents. But since we were young we would always play together. From playing soccer in the house and getting yelled at, to getting told to quiet down, racing to play on the computer, and breaking a window. Life was always good and because we are both loud people, the house was always loud. As we grew up, and he eventually got a girlfriend whom I love very much, things got quieter and more calm. Yet we were still very close and though I cannot talk to him the way I do with Bob, he made my life always a fun and happy day. He was someone I would go to whenever I wanted to have a better day and forget the bad. Now when he left, I did not think much of it, but my father was the one who showed it the most that he missed him. As I realized that the days in the house got quieter, it made me more sad. I began to feel lonelier and lonelier. Realizing that I was actually missing him. I am not someone to realize or show these emotions too much when it comes to family, so it was hard for me to release these feelings. Now I barely see him, but I have days where I miss him more than others. I wish I could go and have those fun times and forget the bad with him whenever I would, like before, but I see him whenever we can.

            Things changed, not completely, but we are not as close as we were. It makes me sad, but whenever he comes over for the bit of time he does, I smile and forget about the bad. Yet when he leaves, it is back to the same old quiet home that I had to get used to. Things get hard sometimes here now having to deal with it alone, since my parents are split now and my mother is always busy, it has gotten easier and taught me some things. I realized I had to become more responsible and grow up to realize that this is part of me growing up as well. I won’t always be with family anymore as I soon will go off to live my own life and focus on my own tasks and responsibilities. I learned to become confident and have peace with being alone and working alone, and learn that it is not a bad thing. Whenever I have bad days, I have learned ways to make me feel better on my own such as drawing, listening to music, or talking to my lovely boyfriend who I am so happily grateful for. Growing up is definitely scary now that I am almost eighteen, and my big brothers will always forever be my big brothers and bestfriends, and never will I stop calling them by my favorite nicknames, Bob and Andy.