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Monday, March 16, 2020

"Guardian Angel" by Ariana H


     On January 10, 2020 my life changed forever. A very close family friend of mine was admitted into the hospital. She was super sick and she refused to go to the hospital because she believed nothing was wrong and that she was just coughing. In the middle of the night she woke up coughing and she was bleeding. Her husband immediately took her to the hospital because he knew something was wrong. I got the text the next day from my mom saying she was in the hospital. I couldn’t believe what my mom had told me and every night I prayed for her to get better but she only got worse. My mom and few others were the only ones who were allowed to see her. My mom would come home and tell me what she looked like and that she wasn’t doing so well. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worse because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. She was such a strong and intelligent woman and I couldn’t have imagined my life without her. It was so hard to think that our 5 years of friendship could just end so soon. Two weeks later on January 27th I got a call from my mom during 6th period and when I didn’t answer she text me and told me that she had passed away. I have never Experienced a death of someone who is close to me and I would never wish that upon anybody. When I saw the text message my heart broke into 1 million pieces and as I sat in sixth period I began to cry because it did not seem real. When I came home I saw my mom and we both just started bawling her eyes out. It was such a hard time for my family because we were so close with her. For a whole week any time that I saw anything that reminded me of her or someone talked about her I would just cry. I didn’t understand why it happened to me and to her family. On the day of the funeral I remember getting ready and I told myself that I wasn’t sad. I thought to myself I cried about it for a week and a half and I think I have gained closure. But boy was I wrong. With my family and I went to the church the moment we walked into the room I got so overwhelmed. My entire family started to cry and I couldn’t believe what was going on. My mom was asked to give a speech but she decided not to because she couldn’t handle it. I decided to get up and go and speak about our friend because someone in our family needed to recognize all she had done for us. When I went up and talked I remembered all of the memories and who she really was as a person. After my speech I feel like I finally got to say goodbye. I held onto guilt because I wasn’t able to visit her in the hospital due to school and work. I felt  like I never got to say goodbye and it tore me to pieces. When I walked off after speaking I felt like I could breathe again because it felt like she was right next me and I was able to say goodbye. Since the funeral my family and I have visited countless times and it’s almost like she is always with us. I know people haven't experienced a loss yet but it takes a big toll on you. I have learned so much in the past month about myself and who I want to be. I remember her every single day and I will not forget the lessons that she has taught me. I have been able to connect more with God and just understand that her death shouldn’t take over me. I should always remember her and remember the good. I pray for her everyday and hope that she is finally free. Even though I wished this wouldn’t have happened you cannot cheat death and what God has in store for you. I have also used this
experience to live my life to the fullest and live with no regret. I think about her all the time and I wonder if she watches me and subconsciously helps me through my everyday life. I am so blessed to have been able to know her and her family because she was such a big asset in my life. She supported me and went to my games and cheer competitions. She is my guardian angel and I wish I could just hug and talk to her one last time. 

21 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing that with such vivid imagery; I felt the same deep sorrow you did reading the passage. I'm so sorry you had to experience that Ariana. I know how hard it is to lose someone close to you at a young age and I pray for you and your family.

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  2. :( , that's how my face looked reading your piece. Very well written and it reminded me of when my grandmother passed away when you told yourself you wouldn't be sad. Growing up, I had never seen my father or grandfather cry but even they too fell to the power of sadness: I was next. As kids, losing our grandparents is tough because they were always the sweet gma that cooked for us or the funny granddad that was at the center of every conversation. When that light vanishes, so does a chunk of our childhood. But we just gotta push through and persevere

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  3. This made me tear up. Ariana, I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad you were able to speak on what a positive impact she was on you and your family at her funeral. :)

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  4. Sadly death is inevitable and we all experience loss, however this fact doesn't make it hurt any less. I agree with some other comments as Ive noticed how you've taken this loss to reflect and remember the impact this person has left on you. Amazing diction and imagery to express the sadness and loss

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  5. I am very sorry for your loss. This a very deep and emotional story and I am happy that you are so open to sharing it with everyone, it takes a lot of courage to do so. I am also glad to know that you now feel like you have said goodbye, I cannot imagine how it must have felt to feel like you did not.

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  6. I'm sorry for your loss, it's sad that you needed to go through this. I know it's hard to go through something like this, I myself haven't experienced death but I can sympathize with you. Reading the end caught my eye especially, seeing the growth and progress that you're making is amazing and you're strong for that.

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  7. Alejandra AmezquitaMarch 25, 2020 at 3:49 PM

    I can not even imagine how hard it was for you to write this, I am glad that you pushed through it. You did a great job describing how she was so important to you and your family, and it will get easier.

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  8. First off, I would like to give my condolences to you and your family. It took strength for you to go up and to speak about your family friend, and what was very touching was when you said that afterwards you felt like you had said your goodbye to her. Also, I felt like you delivered the emotions in your story very well with your use of descriptive detail. Beautiful work.

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  9. Angiolins SeminarioMarch 30, 2020 at 10:24 AM

    Thank you for sharing this experience. A well written piece with details and imagery in a way that pulled the audience into that day. I think we can all relate to this as it's hard for everyone to lose someone important in your life and you showed how you were able to not only overcome, but understand. I really liked how you said, "Even though I wished this didn't happen, you cannot cheat death and what God has in store for you," because I completely agree. In all, a great piece!

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  10. Im so very sorry for your loss to lose someone that close to you is a pain that is truly foreign. Just know that she will live on forever and is always with you i'm hoping that you found it in your heart to move on but not forget about the impact she had to your life. Like you said you can not cheat death as long as you have God by your side everything will turn out great.

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  11. You described such a wonderful woman but this piece was very heartbreaking! I wish you nothing but the best. You are very courageous to even share such a moment like that. Although it was such an uneasy time in your life, you have great strength to be able to live your life to the fullest now. May you continue to stay hopeful and strong!

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  12. I'm so sorry for your loss and your grief, knowing someone who is so close, you would never imagine them dying but as you said she is your guardian angel protecting you everyday.

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  13. This piece was so emotional, to see your closest loved ones get taken away from you. Seems like you and her had a great relationship and that she seemed like a very wonderful women. I can understand where you're coming from we all wish we could see our loved ones one last time. Thank you for sharing!

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  14. I’m sorry for your loss, Ariana. I’m sure that this experience really grounded you, and it’s nice that it made you even more appreciative of life than you already were. I know that you’ll make the most of this through the rest of your life, too. Really great piece. - Eddie Yanez

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  15. First off, thank you for sharing such a vulnerable memory with us. It was very well written and very relatable because every one has or will go through this at some point in their life. And just like you, I also spoke at my close friends funeral, and it really did help with saying our good-byes. Great piece.

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  16. Isabel QuintanillaApril 2, 2020 at 1:56 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss and I know the death of a loved one is something that can tear you apart and that will stay with you forever, but I loved how you turned it into something positive and took it as a way to grow into the person you want to be. I hope one day things get easier but even through all the hardships, you now have a guardian angel to protect and guide you. Great piece. - Isabel Quintanilla

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  17. You wrote very beautifully and I'm so sorry for your loss. Your experience and the aya you wrote this obviously shows you have a lot of maturity and you were able to grow from this by growing stronger connections with family and God.
    -Rebecca Clinton

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  18. I have recently gone through the same as you and reading this made me remember how when the funeral came I also told myself I was out of tears and that at this point I am fine but I was wrong as well, with time things do get better it is just harder to see that in the very beginning.

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  19. This piece was very emotional and I appreciate the facts that you shared such a sentimental story with us. From your storytelling, the reader can really feel the pain and sadness you experienced during this time. I admire your strength and mental toughness you had during this tough situation. The storytelling in this piece is remarkable, it is like you are putting the reader right in your shoes. You also a taught us a very important lesson and that is to appreciate the times you have with your loved ones because you never know when that can all go away. Great job on this piece. - Yuan Maneje

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  20. Your story is very heartfelt. I felt the meaning of each word in the story and the sadness of the situation. Thank you for sharing and it is very well written.

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  21. This is so beautiful. The story is so heart warming in a way but it is also heart breaking. I hope you are doing much better. In the story you were able to communicate the feelings all the ups and downs.

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