Why is it that my heart is always broken. Is there something wrong with me? Do I fall in
love too quick? Am I not worth their time? Am I annoying? Or do I just fall in love with
the wrong people? I don’t know what to believe anymore. I guess that’s what I get for
wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I once asked out who I thought in my opinion was one of the prettiest girls at school. A beautiful smile, sweet voice, and so nice that it would lift up everyone’s spirits. To my surprise she said yes. I was full of excitement and joy because of the fact she said yes. I took her out everywhere. Movies, eating, amusement parks, concerts, anywhere we could have fun. She would always smile to me. She’d laugh at my jokes. It would always lift my spirits up. She was the sun that shines on my life.
I tried my best to be the best boyfriend on earth. I’d pay, I’d care, I’d let her borrow, I’d tend to her every need. I thought my life couldn’t get any better. I was the happiest person on earth. But something changed after a month of dating. I’d ask to hang out, she’d say she was busy. I’d ask again in a few days, again she was busy. I thought nothing of it so I let her be. The next day I wanted to walk with her to school, but she said she was getting dropped off early to make up a math quiz. I thought I’d get there early to surprise her and help her study. The next day I arrived at school, I saw her sitting with another guy. I knew the guy, he was on the basketball team and we were classmates in middle school. I slowly walked closer to say hi. But I heard something I wish I didn’t.
I once asked out who I thought in my opinion was one of the prettiest girls at school. A beautiful smile, sweet voice, and so nice that it would lift up everyone’s spirits. To my surprise she said yes. I was full of excitement and joy because of the fact she said yes. I took her out everywhere. Movies, eating, amusement parks, concerts, anywhere we could have fun. She would always smile to me. She’d laugh at my jokes. It would always lift my spirits up. She was the sun that shines on my life.
I tried my best to be the best boyfriend on earth. I’d pay, I’d care, I’d let her borrow, I’d tend to her every need. I thought my life couldn’t get any better. I was the happiest person on earth. But something changed after a month of dating. I’d ask to hang out, she’d say she was busy. I’d ask again in a few days, again she was busy. I thought nothing of it so I let her be. The next day I wanted to walk with her to school, but she said she was getting dropped off early to make up a math quiz. I thought I’d get there early to surprise her and help her study. The next day I arrived at school, I saw her sitting with another guy. I knew the guy, he was on the basketball team and we were classmates in middle school. I slowly walked closer to say hi. But I heard something I wish I didn’t.
“Hey what about the other guy you’ve been dating?”
“Him? Oh he’s super annoying. I think your way better than him.”
“I only said yes because I felt bad for him. He basically paid for everything we
did...”
She only pitied me. Her laughs, her smiles, her love, it was all fake.
My entire world just collapsed in a mere matter of seconds. My heart sank to depths unknown. The life I had been living was meaningless. I sprinted to the bathroom and threw up for what felt like hours.
Before I knew it, no matter how different the person, no matter how much they promise me, I always heard the same thing. “He’s super annoying”. “He always wants to hang out”. “He isn’t worth my time”. “I’m so lucky! I don’t have to pay for anything!” I kept on deluding myself with these false hopes. I’ve gotten back up countless times just to get shot down again with the same pain. It was as if this was a disease that kept relapsing. A parasite that would not go away. A curse to never know love. When will this end? Why is it that my heart is always be stepped on and broken?....
Why should I even love?
“Him? Oh he’s super annoying. I think your way better than him.”
“I only said yes because I felt bad for him. He basically paid for everything we
did...”
She only pitied me. Her laughs, her smiles, her love, it was all fake.
My entire world just collapsed in a mere matter of seconds. My heart sank to depths unknown. The life I had been living was meaningless. I sprinted to the bathroom and threw up for what felt like hours.
Before I knew it, no matter how different the person, no matter how much they promise me, I always heard the same thing. “He’s super annoying”. “He always wants to hang out”. “He isn’t worth my time”. “I’m so lucky! I don’t have to pay for anything!” I kept on deluding myself with these false hopes. I’ve gotten back up countless times just to get shot down again with the same pain. It was as if this was a disease that kept relapsing. A parasite that would not go away. A curse to never know love. When will this end? Why is it that my heart is always be stepped on and broken?....
Why should I even love?
I’m done with these relationships. No more.
I’m sick of being stepped on. No more.
I’m tired of being broken. No more.
I’m done giving my heart away so easily. No more.
Even after all the care I had given, the love I had shared, the time that I sacrificed.
I myself had a big heart to give and care for others.
But how is that those who have the biggest hearts can end up heartless?
PS: The story is completely fictional, not my own experience :)
I’m sick of being stepped on. No more.
I’m tired of being broken. No more.
I’m done giving my heart away so easily. No more.
Even after all the care I had given, the love I had shared, the time that I sacrificed.
I myself had a big heart to give and care for others.
But how is that those who have the biggest hearts can end up heartless?
PS: The story is completely fictional, not my own experience :)
I really liked this story because it made me really think about all of those who may connect and relate to the story to their own life even though you said it was completely fictional. You can never predict what one will bring you and you just have to learn from that and hope the decisions you make are the right ones. Sometimes, even the best of people get hurt but there's always a reason for everything even if it is just meant to make you learn from the experience and grow from it. well done :)
ReplyDeleteThis story was absolutely intriguing. I was thinking to myself damn I feel his pain, I wish I could talk to you and help you. You have no idea what emotions was going through my head when I read word for word. Truly amazing good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully written. It seemed so real. The amount of detail and your word choice that you used to write this story was amazing. Whether it was real or fictional, this is extremely well written.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad this was fictional because it was so heartbreaking to read. The way you described the characters feelings as this relationship progressed it seemed like such a real experience. Amazing emotionally captivating story and very well written!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you used a story that those in our age group can relate to by creating context for an issue that seemingly gets overlooked: the lasting damage of being mistreated. I think this was a really unique and interesting way to put readers into perspective of the pain other people go through and the tolls it takes on their mentality and emotional stability, bringing awareness and giving us all the more reason to be kind to one another because we can never tell who has been through what.
ReplyDeleteWoah that was so relatable because of the fact it seemed so believable and real! In all honesty this was a great piece of work, the amount of detail you used to describe the sudden heart break you explained to be experiencing was intense. It was especially interesting reading how there was a plot twist of being played by what you had thought to be your girlfriend. The plot of this piece was well developed and thought out. Well Done!
ReplyDeleteDang..I've noticed in life that after an external force has hurt someone, The person usually feels the need to change themselves. They feel that no longer being kind to others and cutting off your love for others will solve the problem. If you are a person who naturally has a loving heart and doing kind deeds makes you happy, changing yourself will probably not fully resonate with you. Instead change the outside, go after people who have a kind heart like you do. In life unfortunate things happen. However, It's up to you to decide to grow from them or let theme break you. Usually, just like lifting weights, you will break a little but in time grow stronger and the light will again be back in your eyes.
ReplyDelete-Dahrien Trotter
This piece is amazing. I was immediately drawn in by the first couple of sentences and you had me all the way to the end. There wasn't one sentence that I felt was left without emotion. You did a great job :)
ReplyDeleteEven though this experience wasn't your own, you were able to make it sound like you had lived through the events you wrote about and I believe it really takes a good writer to be able to do so.- Zoe Corbett
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I love how you preface the piece with the current emotion the character is feeling, and afterwards introduce why this is so with a story many people may encounter. The parallel structure at the end (“No more.”) highlight the struggle it must’ve been to handle such events, and the sincerity of the character. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteReading this piece had me so sad. I was really ready to have a chat with this girl, but you said it was all fictional which made me feel better. Besides that, the story was very compelling, and is an excellent commentary on what goes on far too often today. P.S: You deserve someone far better than this fictional girl. :( - Nathan Sandoval
ReplyDeleteDetrimental to my soul! Reading this I felt as if I was the person being heartbroken. Your specific detail and imagery made it a real life experience. Great read! I would recommend for anyone to read.
ReplyDeleteI find the piece very realistic. Although you didn't experience it, the story was told very well and I think that you did an amazing job at describing the emotions throughout the piece. Also, I like the structure of the last sentences and how they ended in "No more." Good job!
ReplyDeleteI was so relieved that this experience wasn't your own because no one should feel this much heartache. Just reading this story made my heart hurt. You made this experience so real that I could feel this pain just from reading but your story definitely held me to the end.
ReplyDeleteReally a realistic comment that happens in real life, people who generally have a big heart, does really kind things, and ends up somehow eating karma for doing nice things. At that point, what's important for them to understand is that it's not them, it's the other person, them throwing away the kindness that was given to them, the time that the other person spent with them, a unrequited love, wasted.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was full of detail and emotion that effectively portrayed how the person was feeling. Including the line where he wanted to be the best boyfriend ever and made sacrifices added more to the moment when he actually found out what was going on. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI never though that this would be a fictional story because it is written so well. I started feeling bad for you because this type of relationship is toxic and unhealthy but when you said it was all fictional, it made me feel a little better. Great job on writing this amazing piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was a sad read because I know people who go through this and I am sure everyone does. I would have a word to that girl for you if it was the real thing. Good job making this feel real and emotional.
ReplyDeleteThis story was so amazing to read. I could feel your pain when you found out that the dream you were living in turned out to be an illusion. The repetition in the end really emphasized how hard you tried to convince yourself not to fall again. I'm so glad it turned out to be fictional because no one deserves to be hurt like that.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this story was the poem-like section at the end. Even though it was sad to see the speaker getting hurt by someone he loved it was very interesting to see the complete picture of that he had gone through and what he never wants to happen again. I also felt like the repetition of "No more." was incredibly powerful. -Isabella Patterson
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good story because I know a lot of people that go through this similar situation and it sucks for them, its something that I don't wish on anyone because e the people I see that are used like this seem so crushed and just done with caring. I am glad that this is a fictional story and that you don't have to experience this harshness.
ReplyDeleteThis was an awesome story! Your use of detail, metaphors, and personification made all of this feel so real. A story like this is always relatable; sadly some of us end up in situations like this. The kindest people always put their heart into something just to get heartbroken and taken advantage of. In the end, all of this pain leads us to the right person who will truly love and appreciate all of the things we do for them. - Julia Lozano
ReplyDeleteThis story is so compelling in the way that it makes us imagine that we are the main character, and that we went through that sad fictional story. I'm glad that it was just fake.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! This story was very heartbreaking, so I'm glad it's fictional. The sad part is that this does happen to a lot of people, it's so relatable to be heart broken when you find out how someone you thought loved you probably didn't. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteThis piece of literature was very emotional.There are many people in this world that go through the same situation and it is honestly hard for them and i hope they overcome it. Also, The poem section you added at the end really satisfied me. This piece is an A plus in my eyes!
ReplyDeleteCedrick,
ReplyDeleteWhile I was reading through this post, my heart dropped at the moment when it was revealed that the girl was lying the whole duration of the relationship. I was relieved, however, when you mentioned that this was not a relationship that you belonged to but then I immediately switched gears when it dawned on me that someone else went through this terrible, terrible experience. Love is a difficult beast. It's a game of back and forth and genuinely is not for everyone, despite conventional wisdom. Thank you for sharing this person's story.
- Joshua
Wow your story was so emotional and felt so real. I liked the poem you put at the end to emphasize the pain that was felt by the character. I was relieved at the end to find out that the story was about a fictional character, no one should have to experience that pain. I enjoyed your story despite the fact that it was emotionally traumatic. Great job on the tone and detail of your story!- kayla j
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece because i know many people our age can relate to events like these. Although it wasn't your personal experience, I gained a strong sense of emotion from the speaker, and it allowed me to feel and visualize the same heart break they were experiencing.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is truly depressing however the tone is very hard hitting and it does feel like you are part of the depressing mind the speaker has. That you, yourself are feeling the pain the speaker is feeling, good job on the piece!- Jacob Higgins
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery and detail only made the story even more relatable, and made it feel so real. By the end of the story, you had me mad at these females only to say the whole story was fictional. -Tyler Denton
ReplyDeleteThis can be a very connecting type of story for many people and for you to write your type of story in your own perspective. The emotion was there and can really be felt throughout the entire piece. Great Job overall
ReplyDeleteThis brought me back to some interesting times. Very well written and a good display of emotional and provoking language.
ReplyDeleteMan I really felt that one brother, and that's whats so great about your story other people just like me are able to relate to you with every single detail. We all go through stuff like this and its always heartbreaking, but we move on and strive for greatness. I could see that greatness coming into play as I read this, keep it up Cedrick!
ReplyDeleteThis was a well-done and emotional piece. There was a presence of conflict throughout that kept leading the reader on to the very end, which had a great question to be thought of.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story! It was painful to read the heartbreak, but the story was so captivating I could feel the pain for the speaker. This story underlines many experiences that people go through but never get to talk about or share because of their embarrassment or sadness. This is truly an inspiration to people who go through the same experiences to express their feelings and not just hold them in because of the fear of being judged.
ReplyDeleteYour usage of repetition really helped emphasize your emotion of being completely fed up and done with it all. This story conveys the importance of ensuring to make time for people who are important to you and do a lot for you, so they feel valued and appreciated.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an amazing story! I really enjoyed reading this and it grabbed my attention almost immediately! It was really well written and full of detail. It was great because even though it was a fictional story, other people will be able to relate to being heartbroken.
ReplyDeleteThis was such an amazing story! I really enjoyed reading this and it grabbed my attention almost immediately! It was really well written and full of detail. It was great because even though it was a fictional story, other people will be able to relate to being heartbroken.
ReplyDeleteThis was beautifully written Cedrick. You wrote this as if you had experienced these things and you had me convinced until I read your little statement at the end about this being entirely fictional. You wrote this with such skill that I wish it didn't have to end. Amazing job Cedrick, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteAn amazing piece you have delivered to us. I felt the emotion from this story, the tone you wrote out, the dialogue, everything about this story represented a slice of life. Although this is just a "fictional story," to me it still feels like something in your life motivated you to write this story.
ReplyDeleteAmazing Job.
Your storytelling skills were very exquisite all throughout this piece. The way you described the feelings for this girl and the way she made you feel made like the reader themselves were in love. Your storytelling captured the attention of your reader instantly and did lot let go until the very last word. This was a very great piece Cedrick!
ReplyDelete- Yuan Maneje
I was so fascinated by this story, it felt realistic. I loved how you inserted many rhetorical questions to portray the speaker's frustration of his failure to find love. The speaker's thoughts help the audience sympathize and understand that love can be painful.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is captivating, I felt the same pain the narrator did as I read it. My favorite part was the ending piece, with the repetition of no more. It was very powerful. Good work!
ReplyDeleteThe story was good. Your writing was spot on and the plot keeps me reading it. The way you described your connection to her and the way you had to let her go even though it hurt you. It was nice to see someone capture that.
ReplyDelete