The Ringmaster appeared in the middle of the circus ring “Bienvenue et Bonsoir, my
name is Damien Roux, ringmaster if this circus of night ” he said, Roux was dressed
extravagantly, he wore an all-black suit, with an oxblood red cravat held with a pearl pin, his
long coat almost touched the ground, it’s buttons sparkled mesmerizingly from the ring, winking
and beckoning any that dare come closer; in his right gloved hand he held a silver walking stick
and on his fingers sat large gemmed rings, his silk tophat covered his face, making him a harsh
shadow against the candlelight. “We do hope you enjoyed yourselves this evening, you see
mesdames et messieurs, we are in need of a new performer and thought it might be fun for the
candidates to prove themselves in front of you tonight” while he said this a group of people
shuffled out in to the ring, they were wearing wool, tan, tartan hunting outfits; their faces
obscured by white porcelain animal masks instead of black, “We do hope you enjoy, begin!”
barked Roux, performers in white masks began to fight. Most in the crowd laughed, finding the
morbidity of the act humorous, only until the performers begna falling over, their masks
shattering or falling off their faces did people in the audience begin to shriek and stand and
Damien Roux, laugh.
The act was most certainly not a staged affair and these performers were no mere strangers, they were friends and acquaintances. I heard Jack let out a sob when he saw his
The act was most certainly not a staged affair and these performers were no mere strangers, they were friends and acquaintances. I heard Jack let out a sob when he saw his
friend Jasper lie crumpled on the floor, streaks of blood coming from his nose and mouth like
red silk. The audience began to stand up and rush the tent opening, only to be stopped by the
waiters and circus hands in the masks. They through members of the audience to the ground,
stepping harshly on legs and arms until the sounds of cracking and soul trembling wails could
be heard. In all the commotion I had lost Jack and was calling out for him in the sea of jumbled,
panicked bodies; then I saw him, he was through down hard by someone in a fox mask and the
sound of ribs breaking filled my ears. I didn’t know what to do, I knew he wouldn't be able to run,
his green eyes had already vanished under his eyelids. I let out a shaky breath and looked
around the tent walls and saw an opening, a tiny one but it was there. I raced past the demons
in masks and stepped over people either wailing or completely silent and slid under the tent
wall. I stood and looked wilding about, making sure there was no one outside waiting for any
escapees but to my relief I saw none.
The sounds of shrieks and blood-curdling screams, pleads for mercy, now muffled by the black fabric of the tent. The heat of fear and adrenaline being exchanged for the night air, a cutting autumnal chill that would have ran down me if the screams of my friends and acquaintances weren’t already. I looked up at the moon, an eerie white sneering at me between the skeletal hands of the trees.
My blood drained from my face when I heard the sound of the canvas flapping and I ran, ran faster than my legs would let me or my calfskin boots would let me, but I ran. The fall air whipped my face like icy daggers and twigs and low branches grabbed at my clothes like the hands of those monsters in the tent; kicking up rocks and dirt at I went, I could feel a twig had caught my cheek and the warm blood contrasted with the cool air. I followed the white candles on the branches that guided me and Jack to the circus, “Oh Jack!” I thought, remembering the state I saw him last in, wind whipping my hair, the forest only illuminated by the candles, like the
The sounds of shrieks and blood-curdling screams, pleads for mercy, now muffled by the black fabric of the tent. The heat of fear and adrenaline being exchanged for the night air, a cutting autumnal chill that would have ran down me if the screams of my friends and acquaintances weren’t already. I looked up at the moon, an eerie white sneering at me between the skeletal hands of the trees.
My blood drained from my face when I heard the sound of the canvas flapping and I ran, ran faster than my legs would let me or my calfskin boots would let me, but I ran. The fall air whipped my face like icy daggers and twigs and low branches grabbed at my clothes like the hands of those monsters in the tent; kicking up rocks and dirt at I went, I could feel a twig had caught my cheek and the warm blood contrasted with the cool air. I followed the white candles on the branches that guided me and Jack to the circus, “Oh Jack!” I thought, remembering the state I saw him last in, wind whipping my hair, the forest only illuminated by the candles, like the
lights of souls who died in these forest guiding me, helping me out so I wouldn’t meet a fate like
they did.
I came upon a decimated stone building, now only partly standing walls but it was enough to hide so I could catch my breath, my throat and lungs were on fire, my cheeks and hands ached from the lashes the twigs dolled upon me through my frantic dash. I crouched low behind the stone wall and looked out into the forest, a black, inky sea of horror and despair, and to my horror I realized that the candles were not helping me but leading me further into the forest, they were placed on low and high branches, there wax dripping off the branches like tears, like my tears when I realized that they were not my way out but illuminated walls of a hellish labyrinth. I put a hand to my mouth to muffle the sob of realization, the shock was slipping off me like a blanket and I was left with the horrible truth; I heard whoops and hollers all around me, they were bouncing off the trees and ringing all about, I realized in that moment that I had not escaped the hunt but I had initiated it, the masked porcelain devils were the bloodhounds, Monsieur Roux was the hunter and I... I was the fox; so clever I thought, thought that I could get away from such-such fiends; I only realized my mistake, my fatal flaw when I felt an icy hand grab my neck, colder than ice and harder than stone.
I looked in silent horror at my shoulder and saw the jeweled hands of Damien Roux, and in that moment I could not stop the sob from escaping my lips. “D-devil” I choked out I gripped at my now shredded velvet evening jacket and silk waist coat for condolence but what I found was a gripping terror of the honey voice of the Ring Master and low in my ear he stated with complete amusement, “Now now Mounsier Wells, I am no devil and neither are my children. No, I am something much worse mousier, I am real, I am vampire and now, my child, you will be too; ah yes you will be an excellent son Oliver Wells, excellent indeed”. The last thing I felt was a searing pain on my shoulder and then, the cold dirt ground; looking up at the barren branches
I came upon a decimated stone building, now only partly standing walls but it was enough to hide so I could catch my breath, my throat and lungs were on fire, my cheeks and hands ached from the lashes the twigs dolled upon me through my frantic dash. I crouched low behind the stone wall and looked out into the forest, a black, inky sea of horror and despair, and to my horror I realized that the candles were not helping me but leading me further into the forest, they were placed on low and high branches, there wax dripping off the branches like tears, like my tears when I realized that they were not my way out but illuminated walls of a hellish labyrinth. I put a hand to my mouth to muffle the sob of realization, the shock was slipping off me like a blanket and I was left with the horrible truth; I heard whoops and hollers all around me, they were bouncing off the trees and ringing all about, I realized in that moment that I had not escaped the hunt but I had initiated it, the masked porcelain devils were the bloodhounds, Monsieur Roux was the hunter and I... I was the fox; so clever I thought, thought that I could get away from such-such fiends; I only realized my mistake, my fatal flaw when I felt an icy hand grab my neck, colder than ice and harder than stone.
I looked in silent horror at my shoulder and saw the jeweled hands of Damien Roux, and in that moment I could not stop the sob from escaping my lips. “D-devil” I choked out I gripped at my now shredded velvet evening jacket and silk waist coat for condolence but what I found was a gripping terror of the honey voice of the Ring Master and low in my ear he stated with complete amusement, “Now now Mounsier Wells, I am no devil and neither are my children. No, I am something much worse mousier, I am real, I am vampire and now, my child, you will be too; ah yes you will be an excellent son Oliver Wells, excellent indeed”. The last thing I felt was a searing pain on my shoulder and then, the cold dirt ground; looking up at the barren branches
and night sky; in that moment the branches switched from skeleton hands that I presumed were
helping point me to an exit of this hellish dream and morphed into a black, monstrous cage, to
hold me for eternity in agony and despair; sealed with the gilded Ouroboros on my invitation, my
invitation to die; the symbol of eternity, and in a fit of hysteria I laughed a choker, manic laugh.
Yes an Ourobors, of course how fitting, the end of all things and the eternity of everything,
forever caught in a trap, forever in a cage of night and onyx, forever.
Such a perfect story for Halloween/ spooky season! I loved the gruesome detail and the ending because it felt completed and finished. Amazing story!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing! I think the gruesome detail really adds to the spooky sus[ense of the overall story and really adds to the theme for halloween! I would totally read more scary short stories if you wrote more!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is so richly descriptive, I could not stop reading! My favorite parts of the story were when you described the ringmaster and his outfit, along with the scene where the main character is frightenly running through the forest, eventually reaching the erie stone building. Its a perfect story for around Halloween time!
ReplyDeleteThe way you used the imagery of the blood coming out of Jasper's mouth actually had me cringing! I really enjoyed how vivid it was all the way through!
ReplyDeleteWhat a way to start off a story! I love the shift from light and happy to dark and suspenseful. What a great use of imagery too,relating tree branches like skeletons was brilliant! -Jaelani Phay
ReplyDeleteThis was an amazing story that kept me captivated from the first sentence. I loved the twist of events near the end and the suspense of the final scene. The final paragraph was specifically impressive as the symbolism with the ouroboros was masterfully incorporated for maximum effect and fear. It is fitting that this piece was published near Halloween as it is a next level horror story. Amazing work! -Isabella Patterson
ReplyDeleteAmazing job! This was such a haunting story and it gave me more and more goosebumps as I continued reading the story. Your descriptive imagery and suspenseful tone really kept me entranced in the story and wondering what would happen next. Thank you for sharing this story!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a well-written story! Your storytelling skills are amazing. Each sentence is packed with vivid descriptions and emotion. You are such a talented writer. I remember you once told me that you wanted to be a writer, I know you'll have a bright future ahead of you! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI loved this short story! It was amazing how quickly the tone shifted and what followed after. It was sinister how Damien had the performers fight in front of the crowd which made me sit at the edge of my seat as I read. You did a really great job :)
ReplyDeleteThis was such an amazing piece! I admire how you included so much detail on everything and the description of each character. Also by the tone of the story, you could definitely differentiate the main theme of the story. Because of such extended description it had me hooked the whole story and it was very creative. - Aneika Madrigal
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely amazing! I loved the use of the French and description throughout the story. With each sentance, there was a sense of suspense that kept me hooked on the story. Absolutely loved it and it was a perfect fit for Halloween!
ReplyDeleteI was hooked on the story from the first sentence. You used really descriptive imagery that that got me sucked into the event.I really felt to scary mood you set for the story.-Katera Perry
ReplyDeleteBecca this is actually amazing!!! Your storytelling skills are incredible. The way the tone shifts so drastically was really captivating. I really like the similes you used, specifically the trees as skeletal hands, as it foreshadows the end of the story with this idea of death.
ReplyDelete-kyler lovett
I really enjoyed this story due to the imagery that was presented in every paragraph. The imagery allowed for me to paint a picture in my mind. Lastly, the spooky vibe that it had was great.
ReplyDeletethat was a very spooky story just in time for Halloween! your imagery and word choice really sent shivers down my spine. I loved how you used words like onyx and honey voice. its very descriptive and allows for good imagery. great job on the writing it was absolutely thrilling! - kayla j
ReplyDeleteThis is a great piece you've written. I really liked the descriptions and imagery that you used in this story. The chase and everything was so exhilarating and getting a sense of despair and hopelessness from the speaker as she realizes she's trapped was so captivating. Every step of the way left me wanting to know what happened next and left me wanting more.
ReplyDeleteWow. This story was absolutely incredible! It really hits you hard right at and honestly it gave me chills once chaos started. The drastic use of tones in this passage is extremely well done from starting like a normal show to something like the purge is terrifying. I felt engaged into the story and actually felt like I was a part of it. This story is put together amazingly with the limit of words you have. Amazing job Rebecca!!
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing and you can definitely see major storytelling skills and its easy to read and the movement of word to word is an extremely nice flow, where each word simply compliments the next. The horror in the story also rises suspense in a nice manner and make the story feel, well suspenseful. Good Job!-Jacob Higgins
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your story! The innocent beginning that takes a dark turn was not anticipated from me, but it worked so well. I also love the vivid imagery that you used, I was on edge, feeling as though I was a living character in your piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really thought that this story was going to be about the an average circus but heightened with sensory details. I didn't realize how wrong I was. I love how the story just takes a horrible and abrupt turn and just as you think the main character is safe, he isn't and the story ends. Great job!
ReplyDelete