Ever since I was a little girl my mom and I have always had a special bond with
each other and unfortunately this bond was never built with my father. Although
my dad wasn’t really in the picture I was fortunate enough to have uncles who
loved and cared for me. I was the very first niece so I got an extreme amount of
attention but that only lasted for so long because next thing you knew it babies
were popping up out of nowhere I could barely keep track. As a little girl it didn’t
phase me that I didn’t have my dad around but as I grew older I began to notice
and it started getting to me. At school I would see girls wearing “Daddy’s Little
Girl” blouses and I wouldn’t know how to react to them. I wasn’t sure if I was
sad, angry, or jealous but now that I’m older I realize that I was all of the above
because I wasn’t daddy’s little girl. Some days after school I would see my
friends running up to their dads and jumping into their arms. When I won awards
at school I would hope my dad was with all the other dads holding flowers and
waiting for his little girl. At my cheer competitions I would pray that my dad was
in the stands cheering me on. I started to notice the pattern and realized that a
little girl like myself could only hope and pray for so long. I started to question
why my dad never wanted to be apart of my life and I told myself that I did
something wrong and that it was my fault. As years went by nothing really
changed, I rarely saw my father and still felt emptiness inside of me. The times I
would visit my dad I felt like he connected more with my brothers than he did
with me. This was strange to me because I would think that being the only girl
out of three brothers I would get spoiled but if anything it was the other way
around. So even when I was with my dad I wouldn’t spend any time with him
because he would be too busy for me. My mom would always say, “If people
want to be apart of your life they will make the effort and show you they care.”
Once I started maturing I realized that all these years I was so focused on
forcing my dad to love me when I already had my mom who would take a bullet
for me. My mom was always there after school to pick me up and although I
didn’t run into my dad's arms I ran into my moms. She was at every single one
of my award shows, even if she had to reschedule appointments at work just to
see me get a ‘student of the month’ award that every student got. My mom was
not only at all my cheer competitions and practices but she became a coach as
well. If I'm being honest if it weren’t for my mom driving my brother and I all the
way to Hacienda Heights almost every weekend to spend time with my dad I
would have less of a relationship than I have right now with him. Don't get me
wrong I love my dad and i'm glad he's making an effort now but I am forever
grateful for my mom (a.k.a. Mama Bear) for everything she has sacrificed so that
my brother and I could have everything. The reason I call her Mama Bear is
because she’s probably one of the most kind hearted person you will ever meet
but she’s not afraid to get in your face if you mess with me. I truly feel bad for
any guy who breaks my heart because instead of a dad with a shotgun I have
Mama Bear who will come out of her cave. Without my mom I don’t know where
I would be right now, probably feeling sorry for myself but I’m glad that’s not the
case. She has been the best mom/dad a girl could ever have and if I got the
chance to change anything I wouldn’t. We share so many great memories
together and I can’t wait to be able to tell my children what a down to earth
grandma they have. I know that many people say this but I really do mean it
when I say that I am going to repay my mom for everything she has done.
Wow, this was an absolutely amazing piece to read, I was expecting kind of like an ending where your dad finally gives you the attention, then you totally flip it out on me and made me realized that over all those years it was your mom who looked after you and your brother! (probably surprised because I was so immersed in your awesome writing), but the way you organized your piece was really well done and how you were able to provide enough background for your readers to understand! Overall, your work really had me tearing up a little, with a hint of a little humor! Perhaps one of the most enjoyable pieces I read by FAR.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I absolutely love your blog. It is so difficult to be vulnerable and share your past and/or current struggles. Along with that, your blog shows how amazing mothers are. I call my mom "Mama Bear" also, so I was interested in this blog from the moment I saw the title. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your heartwarming post about your mom. Mothers are just as important as father figures in our lives and it is important to acknowledge and appreciate the love and support they will always give us.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your piece was amazing. All the detail and description you gave really kept me drawn into your story. I know it's difficult to be vulnerable and appreciate your strength in doing so. Your blog opened my eyes to how amazing the family that has been there for me my whole life is. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the fact that you were able to open up and be vulnerable about something that people typically do not bring up because it can be difficult to talk about. I am glad that you no longer blame yourself for something you are not able to control and also glad that you have found a new love for your mother since she played both roles in your life. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I love that you shared your personal experience with us and the deep thoughts that ran through your head as you faced moments of doubt and uncertainty in your life. I am so happy to hear about the wonderful relationship you have with your mother and the one you are trying to rebuild with your dad. You are so strong and talented!
ReplyDeleteNat, I loved this piece and I felt that I could relate to it as well. I know how disappointing it is to see my friends have close relationships with their fathers and how it makes me wish that I did too. I really liked the development and the growth of your narrative. Nice Job Nat!
ReplyDeleteI understand how much of a struggle it can be to talk about such a past like yours, and I love how you shared this with us! I love the passion and love written throughout this piece, thank you for sharing! -Aaliyah Mallard
ReplyDeleteThis is such a heartwarming story. I've kinda understand how you feel as I've always try to get along with my mom. But unlike my relationship with her, I've felt more close with my dad than her. I'm envy how much of a caring and big hearted mom you have as I have a hard, determined and stubborn mom. Nevertheless, I hope you get along with your dad in the future.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I like how you were able to discuss the relationship you have with your dad with us even though it may not be a subject you like to bring up. I also like how you have a way better relationship with your mom and how you brought words with love to explain the special bond. Your growth in description was really good and gave us readers a lot more closure. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a powerful piece Natalie because I know how it feels to have such a strong hope for something or someone and it just doesn't work out. Yet its great to see that you have such an amazing mom that supports you and would do anything for you. It great to see who in your life really loves you and cherishes you because those are the people that mean the most.
ReplyDelete- Ivan Mejia (Per.5)
Wow this was such a beautiful and heartwarming piece. I loved how sentimental and personal your story was. Good job <3
ReplyDelete- Camryn Greer
Hi Natalie, I first would like to say amazing piece. I really loved how throughout your writing, how you gave detail and explained your reasoning. Moms are important figures and can do the same things as fathers can. Similar to you, my mom plays both roles and while I had the same thoughts as you. My mom told me the something similar to what your mom said," If they truly wanted to be in your life, they would make an effort and show that they care through their actions."
ReplyDelete-Karen V.
This is so cute!!! I grew up with just my mom too. My parents separated when I was younger. I never had that father figure in my life. I felt the same way in school. I felt jealous that there were other girls that had a dad that cared for them and I also hated that my school would have a father daughter dances because all of my best friends would go and I wouldn't be able too. Good thing you have the best mom. I loved your blog I can relate so much to it. Bless your Mom for being a SUPER MOM.
ReplyDelete-Jasmine Hernandez
Natalie, this was such a beautiful and amazing piece. I loved how personal and emotional your story was. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, this was a pleasant, well-written read! Through your words, I felt the negative emotions you felt in your relationship with your dad in the past, along with the much delightful emotions you felt in your relationship with your mom. I appreciate how rather than pondering over the disconnection you felt with your dad, you focused more of your attention towards the much stronger connection you already had with your mom. I find the way you described her as your "mama bear" very cute and admirable. I bet your mom would feel so much appreciation from you if she were to read this. Thank you for sharing this personal reflection of yours!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, this piece was such a great outlook on your perspective of parents. Your use of contrast from a mother and a father and the roles that each play, really emphasize the amount of work your mom was putting in to play both roles. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteyour story was so heartwarming and touching, i was really captivated by the detail and how you talked upon a subject sensitive to most people, overall this was an amazing personal piece
ReplyDelete