Okay
so what had happened was… I was on my way to school this morning. Mind
you it was a beautiful Monday morning, the sun was shining, the birds
were chirping, my hair was done, and I was just enjoying life. So
anyways I’m just minding my own business, key phrase “minding my own
business” and as I’m crossing the street a busted car is coming around
the corner real fast and almost hit me. I swear my life flashed before
my eyes because in that moment I thought I was going to die. But once I
got over the shock of me nearly losing my life, I was heated because the
driver was doing like 80 mph in a residential area for what? So I’m MAD
and the driver of the car had the nerve to stop and ask if I was okay.
At this point I’m even more infuriated because why is she gonna sit
there asking me stupid questions? She almost ended my existence but then
got the nerve to ask me if I was okay.
Now
what I should’ve done was walk away, you know because I’m a child of
God. But I started going off on her. I was feelin real bold on this
particular morning so I started getting loud and in a slight lapse of
judgement I picked up a rock and threw it at the back of her car. You
see at the time I didn’t realize how bad of an idea that was until ol’
girl stepped out the car. It was at this point that I realized I messed
up because, and I kid you not she was built like an NFL linebacker. She
was a BIG girl, I swear she was like 6’3 and weighed about 250 pounds,
like she was big for no reason. So now I’m kinda scared because I knew I
was about to get tossed, but my momma didn’t raise a punk. So I stood
up straight and kept talking. I was going off on her too calling her all
types of names and then I balled up my fists and said, “But you don’t
want the issue though.” Now this was my next mistake because apparently
she did want the issue because she charged at me. The ground started
trembling as she barreled towards me like a an Amtrak train. It was then
that I realized I had two options; either stay there and be pummeled to
death or drop my backpack and run. You best believe I dropped my bag so
quick and dipped. I ran all the way down the street and you’ll never
guess what happened. I got hit by a car. And that’s why I’m late to
first period.
I have absolutely no words, I thought this was real at first until the end. That was a huge twist and I love the way you told the story. I like how even though there is a lot of shock and humor, there is still a moral message.
ReplyDeleteWow, interesting story! I really liked the twist at the end and how the character knew that she was in the wrong but due to her being in the heat of the moment, she went off.
ReplyDelete- Karen V.
This was so good! I find it interesting that you made it seem so realistic and you just turned it around like that. Your use of different analogies were incredible. Good job Camryn!
ReplyDeleteAmazing story. The narrative you painted was easy to follow and interesting to read. Your personal voice was easy to hear while reading this and I felt that the story itself lent well to having such an emotive narrator. I just wished I had an excuse as good as the story's whenever I'm late.
ReplyDeleteThe use of imagery makes this story come to life. With phrases like "...round started trembling as she barreled towards me like a an Amtrak train." Make the story come to life. It definitely a one of a kind excuse to be late to class.
ReplyDelete-Grecia Sepulveda
What an interesting narrative, I like how the title makes more sense the longer you read on. Good job!
ReplyDeleteCamryn I don't think I have ever enjoyed a blog so much! The story was absolutely hilarious and kept me on the edge of my seat.The ending really tied everything together. You are an amazing writer.
ReplyDelete-Sofia Canseco
I found this story very funny because of how realistic the story seemed but the irony of how it concluded was very humorous. Then what made it even more comical was that the injury was portrayed as unimportant being used as an excuse for being late.
ReplyDeletei was reading this with my sister and we were cracking up the whole time, I really enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this narrative because it was super personal and I felt as if I were listening to you tell the story out loud. Very nice job using imagery and description to further the plot. The twist at the end caught me off guard!! I really enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story. I also liked how you included some humor to enhance the tension even more. I also overall enjoyed this simple but effective narrative for me to read and follow up on while also visualizing what was going on inside my head.
ReplyDeleteCamryn, This blog was so funny, the way you put in a lot of description made it even better. I liked the way it flowed like a standup joke, making it very entertaining. Great job!
ReplyDeleteCamryn, I like the elevation behind this short story and how you constantly decided whether or not you should do a certain thing. Through your use of diction, it brought some laughs within the audience which I personally liked. I hope you recovered well from your tragedy though. Excellent short story Camryn.
ReplyDelete- Mayur Chhitu
This story was very well written. The imagery you added in allowed me to visualize the whole scenario. I especially liked the twist at the end, which left me so surprised. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story that you shared with us, I love the twist at the end. It was very interesting to read and wish you do more of these so that I can them. A job well done.
ReplyDeleteI find your story so funny and insightful. Throughout I felt like I was listening to this story as if it were in person. You were very elaborative with your piece as well. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThis composition of the story was super bizzare and funny, the story kept getting worse and worse for the speaker adding a comedic effect. Super fun and interesting piece!
ReplyDeleteCamryn, you already had me laughing so hard just from the first six words in your introduction because that reminded me when someone tells me something that happened. Throughout the story I really thought this was real and actually happened to you until the end and I was kid of mad since it felt so real to me, but proves that you're great at writing stories. It felt like you were actually telling me this story and overall, you did awesome!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was real until the twist hit me like a truck. This was very well written. Thank you for making me laugh and enjoy your piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a suspenseful blog in a way. The title seemed very interesting to me in which i ended up here. such a nice blog! - jayleen lupian
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story, the casual tone of the work really grasped my attention. I loved the twist at the end of the story: the audience of your narrative was unexpected and that's what really made the blog hilarious. I did not anticipate the audience to be your first period. I would say this narrative would be a great example of satire. Great job! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is so suspenseful and comical especially in the way that it sounds like an extremely elaborate excuse for being late rather than using the cliche "traffic excuse." Also, the imagery used to describe the girl was amazing and really put the reader in the moment.
ReplyDeleteCamryn i have zero clue why there were so many cars that particular morning driving fast but it seemed to me you are brave but smart enough to know when to dip type of person. - Joshua Perez
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what this piece was going to be about when I read the title. It intrigued me so I decided to read it and I thought something totally different was going to happen. I was played for a fool by your wonderful trickery. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was really great! Not gonna lie I thought this was real story until that twist at the end. I'm gonna assume that this is making fun of kids who make wild excuses for being late to school all the time- I know I've been there before. Super funny, and the way it was written gets you feeling like your hearing the last second excuse from some kid who slept in. Great job!
ReplyDeleteCam, this piece was so entertaining all the way through! You're personality shines through your writing and thus this is one of the funniest posts I've read. Great work!
ReplyDelete-Ashley Sierra-Tillery
i was reading this with my sister and we were cracking up the whole time, I really enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDelete-Kiyla Nunez
this was so good! I laughed the whole time. it was very entertaining and I enjoyed reading this very much
ReplyDeleteAwesome story. I didn't expect the plot twist in the end. I couldn't stop laughing while reading the story. For a moment i actually thought it was a real story until the end. Good Job. - Nufsat Khan
ReplyDeleteThis piece was an excellent distraction to my monotonous routine of scrolling haphazardly through the blog posts. You have an incredible knack of drawing in your reader with exaggerated expressions and hilarious parallels such as the one between the girl charging at you and the tremor of an oncoming amtrack train. Delightful work!
ReplyDeleteCamryn, you’re writing had me intrigued and wanting to read more! This is a great piece of work, good job! -Angelina Lim
ReplyDeleteGreat funny story, although I hope it wasn't true. I really liked your diction and the way you described the girl and feeling you felt. -Andrew Macias
ReplyDeletethis is so creative! i would have just said that there was traffic lol but i really enjoyed reading this and if was your first period teacher id let you off the hook just because you gave me a good story to enjoy
ReplyDeleteI was laughing the whole time I was reading this. This was really entertaining to read.
ReplyDelete- Deanna Ortega
Camryn,
ReplyDeleteThis was such a great piece to read. I think you conveyed your emotions extremely well and I really heard the entire thing through your voice while I was reading. Your descriptions were so vivid and I was intrigued the the entire time. You're an extremely funny person, and you effectively used imagery and diction to portray that in your writing. Great job!
This was such a great story! From start to finish it kept the reader engaged and kept a smile on their face. I loved the creativity and the slight twist at the end where you explain this is why you were late to first period.
ReplyDeleteWOW Camryn! This blog was one of my favorites because I enjoy a good comedy. You did a great job in your choice of words and keeping us readers interested throughout the whole thing. Overall nice work!
ReplyDelete~ Tanner Antonucci
Camyrn, your piece was really well crafted, the detail in your sentences made me believe that this event actually happened to you. The twist at the end really changed the entire piece.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read this piece I was shocked that this actually happened to you. However reading further into the piece things started to feel like if was something that you read in a book. The ending is the part where I lost it and realized that it was an excuse of how you were late to your first period. This was an amazing short story to read and the vivid imagery is what made me believe that this was an actual even that took place. Amazing story- Sezar Guitron.
ReplyDeleteCamryn, your work was funny and witty> I especially appreciate your use of imagery in your piece and the twist ending was very nice.
ReplyDelete-Braden Bailey
I love the casual way you tell the story, as it really feels like this would be an excuse a student would use to tell their teacher why they are late to class. It’s casual tone makes me feel like I’m even there, good job Camryn!
ReplyDeleteThis was probably the most interesting piece I have read thus far out of all our blog posts. Your inclusion of imagery as well as your thoughts during the situation made this feel very real, and very funny. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteThis post was very enjoyable to read and i thought it is a great excuse to why you were late to first period, I hope you didn’t get a tardy! -Ella macaraig
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story, Camryn. I enjoyed the imagery and details you provided, they made the story very funny. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed every second I spent reading this short story, I found it interesting how you made a clear image of what you wanted to show us and felt realistic and some satire. Good job! - Daniel Peraza
ReplyDelete