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Friday, October 5, 2018

"A Lost Soul" by Kayla E



When I was younger I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals, then around fourth or fifth grade, I wanted to be a teacher because I loved to help people and I was good at school. Now, I’m seventeen, a senior in high school, and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. Everyone asks me what I want to do and where I want to go to college, but the only answer I can give them is “I don’t know,” “I’m thinking about it,” or “I’ll figure it out.” I see everyone around me who have an idea of where they want to go to college, or what they want to do, and it makes me feel like I’m behind in life. Most people have family that have gone to college and can help them apply, but neither of my parents went to college, so I’m on my own with applying. And not only am I at a loss in choosing a college I want to go to, I’m lost in choosing a career. I’m a very indecisive person, this is not because I like all my options, it is more the fact that I’m unsure of who I am. When I was younger, I was confident in myself and pretty sure of who I was, but then I grew up and many things in my life changed. You see, I have never lived with either of my parents. When I was a baby, my mom left my dad because he got mad and threw something that could have hurt me, that’s the story I was told. And when I was about 2 years old, my mom brought me, my brother, who at the time was about 6, and my sister, who at the time was about 3 months, to my nana’s house. She told my nana that she will be back in 3 months for us when she got her life together, but she never came back. My mom was in and out of my life, meaning that I saw her maybe once a year and every time I saw her, she had a new boyfriend. My dad, on the other hand, was always in my life. I would visit him every holiday and summer. I grew up with my life like that and I was use to it, until one day everything changed. One day, my mom got back together with my dad and the way my relationship with him changed. My dad use to be active in my life. He would take care of me and spend time with me, and when I wanted to spend a night or two at my aunt’s house, he would allow me to go, but with my mom back in our life, my dad was always sleeping and if I wanted to go to my aunt’s house, he would say ask your mom and sometimes my mom would say ask your dad or she would get kinda upset and say no. So, things in my life changed, and I started to be less confident in my self and unsure of who I was. So, due to my uncertainty of who I am, it’s hard for me to pick a career. I’m lost, but I have done some things to help get me started in life. I have taken honor classes all four years of high school so that my academics look good to colleges. I have also taken the SAT at least once, and I plan to take it again. Also, recently, I have applied to some colleges. I hope that I get accepted and that I can make up my mind on what career I want to pursue soon. From all the
chaos in my life and how lost I am with figuring out my future, I have learned that nothing is perfect and if you try your hardest and do your best, you can achieve many things. But, also, the biggest thing that I have learned is to get a head start on everything, don’t wait till last minute like I have. Start deciding what colleges you want to apply to before your senior year of high school, maybe start around sophomore or junior year. Also, take the SAT sometime in your junior year of high school, so that if you didn’t get a score that you like, you have time to study and take the SAT again and get a higher score that you do like, unlike me where I took the SAT beginning of this year, senior year, didn’t get a score that I like, and when I apply to colleges, they will see that score. Overall, I am lost in who I am and what I’m doing with my life, but I do know that I want to go to a University and get a bachelors, maybe even a masters, degree in whatever career I decide to take, and I hope to get my life together and stop being lost.

34 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed your blog. You kept the readers interest the whole time with interesting situations regarding your life and your experiences. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to put your feelings and experiences here on the blog, and for that I acknowledge you being brave.

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  2. Kayla, I have to say that the second and third sentence really relate to me. I've always had an occupation I'd want to be a part of but then I would change my mind or I would want to be all of them but would sadly remember that I can only choose one. I like how you were able to express how your life experiences have had a big impact on your life. Overall I found your piece to be truthful to the heart and admire how you're taking everything into your own hands to help guide yourself through your lifes journey.

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  3. Kayla, nice blog! I really liked your choice of flow throughout your personal reflection. You personal reflection contained a huge variety of sentence structure that helped connect to what you personally went through, from the lengthy sentences reflecting the huge pain from your family history to the simple sentences starting with “I’s” to convey your struggles and uncertainties. These sentence structures helped articulate the emotions you were going through and feeling. Good job!

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  4. The little snippet that you have provided your readers with is very engaging and I loved how you used your life story to show how your life has changed almost dramatically. I can definfinetely relqte to your story and I also feel that I have become very indecisive over the years and also have no one to help me with college things. Your story reminded me a lot of my own life and I enjoyed reading how it all cane together in the end to tell your story even better rather than just having a plain instructional story on college applications and what you should do.

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  5. I really enjoyed this post because you explained your emotions and your life story and how that changes what you previously thought was set and stone. I loved the personal element of the entire piece, you did an amazing job explaining the hardships you have faced without victimizing yourself, instead you used those experiences to make yourself stronger. Good job!

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  6. Hi Kayla, I can kinda relate to your story but not all the way. Like you, I wish I had taken the SAT earlier and decided on what college to attend. I admire that you have the determination to go to college and to try and find yourself. I hope that you do better on your SAT the next time you take it and that you find what you want to do in the future. Stay positive!!
    -Karen V.

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this piece that you've written Kayla. You captured the idea of uncertainty in life, where we can never really say with complete certainty that the path we believe that we'll follow is really set in stone. Your experiences regarding what happened with your family as well as your changing of previous career goals are ones that feel especially powerful, as they are unique yet relatable examples of how the path of life is constantly changing, and how we never know where we'll finally end up. I find it especially encouraging with the conclusion of your work, where you give advice to future readers of this blog regarding the SAT, as well as your hopes for the future. I hope that whichever path you eventually choose to follow, it's one full of fulfillment and happiness.
    ~Lance Anthony Aquino, Period 1

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  8. This blog is incredibly relatable. You show that you are preparing for the future very well and growing stronger through your experiences. The sense of hope really resonates with the reader and we wish the best for you.

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  9. Through all the ups and downs you were able to stay focus and set yourself up for an amazing future, which I am able to relate to. You were able to portray the good and experiences with the reader which allows them to better understand you choices for college. this piece demonstrated maturity and honesty and how you will find the right path for you when it comes to that time. Overall I really loved your writing!

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  11. This piece was very interesting and entertaining to read, specifically your description of how your parent's were to you in your life and the part that really got me going was where your parents had gotten back together after all this time, it was very engaging and kept me at the edge of my seat. How you were able to captivate the readers in the beginning really help played it throughout the rest of the piece, I have a newfound respect for you.

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  12. Kayla I thoroughly enjoyed your post it was very personal and relatable. I loved how honest you were and and the layout of your post. It was easy to understand and I definitely got a lot out of it. I felt as if you were talking to me personally because of how much I could relate to what you were saying. You are a great writer and I really enjoyed your blog.

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  13. I really loved this! The amount of times I've flip-flopped from occupation to occupation is honestly insane. I still remember when I was in kindergarten when I believed I was going o grow up to be a movies star, and then in 1st grade when id convinced myself that I was going to be a world renowned fashion designer. Its nice to see that I'm not alone is my confusion. I really liked the end when you said that "nothing is perfect" and things will still turn out okay, because I think a lot of us need that reassurance. I hope you figure your future out, I'm rooting for you!

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  14. I really enjoyed your writing because of how personal it is and that it connects to others, like me, who don't know what they want to do or are going to do after high school.

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  15. This was such a poignant and touching reflection. It was so nice of you to be able to share such vulnerable moments of your life and leave behind a message of perseverance and achievement. You're not alone, there are many times where my fear of the future takes over and I have no idea as to where my life is going to take me to next. But, I know we'll both be fine, Kayla! Your truth and honesty resonate throughout each syllable of your piece, thank you for having the courage to share it with us.

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  16. Kayla, your piece vividly reflects the problem that many seniors are facing at this time of our lives. We were told that we should choose a career that we like, but we were also told that we should be realistic. The contradiction between the both sides has led to our indecisiveness. I was inspired by your desire to find a purpose in life despite all the ups and downs you have faced as a child.
    p.s. It's okay that you are lost now. I hope you will a career that you want to pursue in very soon.

    - Xiaoqing Zhong (P.4)

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  17. I'm really glad you wrote this piece because it seems to relate to some people out there in the world. It is tough going through life sometimes, but I believe that things always work out in the end. Being lost isn't a bad thing, it just means that you have more of a journey to go through. Your piece is really impactful, where even I am not satisfied by the things I do. Your blog speaks out to people, showing them that they are not alone. In the end, I hope you find out where you want your life to lead even if it takes a while.

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  18. It was an honor to be able to read something that involved such personal matters. What you did takes courage and bravery. You were able to
    give in depth examples of your life and make me sympathize for you. It really hit home when you designated your piece "The Lost Soul". You ensnared my attention the whole way through it made me realize some things that I failed to see.

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  19. I know I had the same uncertainty in life during high school. So it was nice to see your view in such detail that really put me in your shoes. We all find out what we want to do eventually so keep pushing! -Nicholas Santamaria

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  20. Kayla, I enjoyed your work for multiple reasons. Firstly, the stuff about not knowing what to do with your life and the stress that that brings is relatable. Secondly, Your work was a great example of personal reflection and I admire that. And lastly, the way that you phrase your sentences to call back to your earlier points of being unsure is well done.
    -Braden Bailey

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  21. Kayla, reading your piece was such a relatable reflection on my life. Trying to figure out where to go, what to do, but hesitant because you dont want to fail to head down the wrong path. I like that connection and idea you had going on and made it so realistic to how many peoples lives even today. The uncertainty about life is not a good feeling, however once you over come that barrier and realize all the hardships you faced were for a purpose, nothing can stop you. I believe you did a very nice job in completing this interpretation as well.

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  22. What gives this piece such personality and emotion is how personal it really is. Your use of colloquial diction and personal insights is what really stands out. Another really important aspect is how relatable it really is, many of us seniors still have no idea what our lives are gonna look like after highschool, and this just gives us more insight from a different perspective. Thanks for sharing.

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  23. I really love your story as I too am lost of what I want to do in my life. I used to be confident of who I want to be when I was younger but now as a senior, I'm totally lost of what to do. This story is relatable and I hope you find what career you're looking for.

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  24. Kayla, your post almost reflects my outlook on my education entirely and I think it's a well written personal reflection that a lot of us seniors can relate too. We've been waiting our entire life as students up to this one moment in our lives, to graduate high school and finally decide on what we want to do with our lives. The problem is it's difficult to find out who you are and what you want to be, I love your piece because I relate to it completely, I have no idea what I want to do and its comforting to other people feel the same. Thank you for writing this piece.-Nathan Brown

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  25. I really enjoyed this poem because I can connect with your feelings and experience which I think is very important for both the reader and writer, thank you for sharing your experiences so I don't feel as alone.

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  26. I think that your life has had its fill of hard challenges, and even though I don't know who you are I really get the sense of you are a hard worker from your story. I believe you and many other people could connect because of this. I truly did enjoy reading your story it opened my eyes that I am grateful for how life has treated me even at times I think it is really unfair. ( Julia Avalos )

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  27. This piece made me realize that there are other people who go through the same struggles of not knowing what to do after highschool which was a real eye opener. The personal aspect of the story is what made it have that deeper connection to it in which I now feel many other seniors are able to relate to it in one way or another. -Sezar Guitron

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  28. Kayla you did a fantastic job with this piece. It was like I couldn't stop reading because it kept my interest the entire time. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience that was very brave of you. I related to your blog a lot about all these decisions I cant make because I'm an indecisive person as well. You did a great job kayla and I really enjoyed reading your blog. - Sofia Canseco

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  29. I loved the title of this piece it really keeps the reader interested. This story is very relatable and I do consider myself a lost soul as well don’t know what to do. However, I’m glad to hear that their are other people who are lost just as me and that we have each other’s back when we need it. Everyone has to go through this phase at least once in their life, because it helps them grow as an individual. I hope you find your purpose or joy in life.

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  30. I love how in the beginning you started off listing what you wanted to be when you were younger. It shows how we as kids are often indecisive and I can relate so much to that. I also enjoyed how you shared your personal story which gives the blog a uniqueness only you have. Great job Kayla!

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  31. I like how in the beginning you list what you wanted to be when you were younger. I can personally relate to this because I was basically he same way. I also like how throughout the blog you wrote about your life, your story. It adds a uniqueness that only you can display. Good job!!

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  32. Kayla, Don't worry your not the only one. I'm here to stand too. I really don't know about my future ether. Both of my parents didn't go to college so I am also nervous and confused about the whole college situation. My mom wasn't really in my life, she worked seven days a week and come back home late. My dad left my sister and I. It was very hard for me to grow up with such a dysfunctional family. My mom was always there for me, but my dad had left my mom, my sister, and i by ourselves. I'm glad that you wrote this because i feel relieved that im not the only one.
    -Jasmine Hernandez

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  33. Jayleen, I loved the fact that you wrote your inspiring story about tearing your ACL. You really drawn my attention. You did an amazing job with detail and imagery. I also loved that you connected your situation with other people in Mexico. Even though you tore your ACL and it was a bad experience but also taught you something which is good. Good Job Jayleen!!!!
    -Jasmine Hernandez

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  34. Kayla I find your story to be very similar to my life with the exception of parental issues but none the less I feel for your pain of not knowing what you are going to be doing in life. I have feared this for a long time and wish to be there for you in your times of need. I loved the way you were able to tell your story in a manner that wasn't too complicated for the readers to follow nor was it too basic that you could see what was coming up next. I hope that in the future you know what you want to do and I hope you succeed in life.

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