"A Lost Soul" by Kayla E

When I was younger I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals, then around fourth or fifth grade, I wanted to be a teacher because I loved to help people and I was good at school. Now, I’m seventeen, a senior in high school, and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. Everyone asks me what I want to do and where I want to go to college, but the only answer I can give them is “I don’t know,” “I’m thinking about it,” or “I’ll figure it out.” I see everyone around me who have an idea of where they want to go to college, or what they want to do, and it makes me feel like I’m behind in life. Most people have family that have gone to college and can help them apply, but neither of my parents went to college, so I’m on my own with applying. And not only am I at a loss in choosing a college I want to go to, I’m lost in choosing a career. I’m a very indecisive person, this is not because I like all my options, it is more the fact that I’m unsure of who I am. When I was younger, I was confident in myself and pretty sure of who I was, but then I grew up and many things in my life changed. You see, I have never lived with either of my parents. When I was a baby, my mom left my dad because he got mad and threw something that could have hurt me, that’s the story I was told. And when I was about 2 years old, my mom brought me, my brother, who at the time was about 6, and my sister, who at the time was about 3 months, to my nana’s house. She told my nana that she will be back in 3 months for us when she got her life together, but she never came back. My mom was in and out of my life, meaning that I saw her maybe once a year and every time I saw her, she had a new boyfriend. My dad, on the other hand, was always in my life. I would visit him every holiday and summer. I grew up with my life like that and I was use to it, until one day everything changed. One day, my mom got back together with my dad and the way my relationship with him changed. My dad use to be active in my life. He would take care of me and spend time with me, and when I wanted to spend a night or two at my aunt’s house, he would allow me to go, but with my mom back in our life, my dad was always sleeping and if I wanted to go to my aunt’s house, he would say ask your mom and sometimes my mom would say ask your dad or she would get kinda upset and say no. So, things in my life changed, and I started to be less confident in my self and unsure of who I was. So, due to my uncertainty of who I am, it’s hard for me to pick a career. I’m lost, but I have done some things to help get me started in life. I have taken honor classes all four years of high school so that my academics look good to colleges. I have also taken the SAT at least once, and I plan to take it again. Also, recently, I have applied to some colleges. I hope that I get accepted and that I can make up my mind on what career I want to pursue soon. From all the

chaos in my life and how lost I am with figuring out my future, I have learned that nothing is perfect and if you try your hardest and do your best, you can achieve many things. But, also, the biggest thing that I have learned is to get a head start on everything, don’t wait till last minute like I have. Start deciding what colleges you want to apply to before your senior year of high school, maybe start around sophomore or junior year. Also, take the SAT sometime in your junior year of high school, so that if you didn’t get a score that you like, you have time to study and take the SAT again and get a higher score that you do like, unlike me where I took the SAT beginning of this year, senior year, didn’t get a score that I like, and when I apply to colleges, they will see that score. Overall, I am lost in who I am and what I’m doing with my life, but I do know that I want to go to a University and get a bachelors, maybe even a masters, degree in whatever career I decide to take, and I hope to get my life together and stop being lost.