"The Rejection" by Kimberly C

March 28th, 2018 will always mark a turning point in my life, the day I received my Harvard rejection letter. I had been eagerly awaiting this day. As rank one in the senior class, three year varsity volleyball player, member of numerous clubs, and avid volunteer, my friends and family constantly assured me that good news would come to me on March 28th and all my hard work would pay off. They told me that I had done everything right and there was no way Harvard could turn away a student like me. I was so excited and nervous to begin a new chapter in my life, that I could hardly sleep in the months leading up to the decision. However, upon seeing the letter, I found out that the new chapter in my life wouldn’t include attending my dream school.

            My initial reaction was to be disappointed in myself for not being able to be considered an ivy league worthy student. I reread the letter over and over again. I had convinced myself that I read the letter wrong the previous time, and if I kept reading it, the decision would eventually turn into an acceptance letter. It didn’t. I began thinking of every mistake I could have made, the question “why wasn’t I good enough?” lingering in the back of mind. I drove myself crazy looking for every fault I could possibly have that would lead this school to think I wasn’t a great fit. In my mind and my heart I truly believed that Harvard and I were two halves, that, if brought together would create perfect harmony. Obviously, the feeling was not mutual.

            As I began to think more, my sadness grew into anger. I guess I had at least expected a Harvard scale rejection, but my rejection letter looked exactly like a letter from just any college. I felt like I wanted more from them yet all I got was a classic, cold and impersonal letter. It was completely anticlimactic, no huge triumph and no real tragedy (I would still attend a 4-year university), just an empty feeling and dissatisfaction. I became even more upset upon rereading one specific line of the letter. It said, “I hope that receiving our final decision now will be helpful to you as you make your college plans.” This phrase filled me with a rage that could incinerate a forest instantly. In a moment when my dreams had been shattered and my heart felt like it had been torn from my body, this phrase felt like someone poured alcohol into that deep open wound. Harvard’s rejection did NOT make my decision easier, if anything it was harder. I was forced to choose from a few colleges that were not my dream school, which was extremely painful for me to do. I can’t imagine how they could possibly believe that denying me admission would simplify things for me. Initially, I was disappointed in myself but after some thought I was also disappointed in Harvard for not being more considerate. A school of that caliber should at least have the decency to change their rejection letter a little bit to be a bit more sympathetic.

            To get through this, I had to, of course, mourn the loss of my potential future as an ivy league student first. I wouldn’t get the bragging rights and the esteem that came with going to such a prestigious school as Harvard but I also couldn’t dwell in “what could’ve been” for too long. I had to move on with my life. In order to accept this decision, I had to hold on to one of my most treasured beliefs, everything happens for a reason. Some may consider it cheesy or cliche but this phrase will always remain with me. In the grand scheme of my life, I just wasn’t supposed to go to Harvard and I learned that Harvard is just a name. My true worth doesn’t stem from what the board of admissions thinks of me. It comes from my ability to overcome adversity and constantly get stronger with every experience. A piece of paper does not have to define the rest of my adulthood, I have the ability to choose what alternate path I will now take. Harvard will always have a place in my heart as my childhood dream, but I know now that my ability to succeed despite this setback and the accomplishments I make as an adult will say more about me than a Harvard education ever could. I plan to attend Boston University, which is just across the Charles River from Harvard. So Harvard, I guess you haven't seen the last of me quite yet.