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Monday, April 16, 2018

"First Love " by Jeremiah C



            For a moment, a boy with no real thought laid eyes upon a girl and his world had changed forever. He knew little of what or who this girl was. One thing was certain, she was admirable and had a kind heart. For a child such as himself he was considered mature and well-versed in overall understanding of how the world works compared to the other children. While the girl was much like him as well.
Their daily agenda consisted of reading books, doing simple math problems, and playing on the playground during recess. For the other children it seemed like the usual day of playing  with friends and socializing but for the boy it was a time to spend observing the girl he “admired”. When they talked to each other it looked as if they were the only two in the whole entire world. Everyone knew that they boy admired her, but no one knew of how she thought of him.
The boy never knew how to describe the emotion he carried whenever he saw her, it was unexplainable. Time would slow down and eventually the world would stop. It was such an innocent admiration.
 Every time he saw her in class, he would write multiple notes that read “I love you”, although he himself did not know what the true meaning of what love is. It even progressed further where he pronounced his love to her by saying “I like you.” The other children were shocked and confused because they had little idea of what it meant to “like” or “like-like” someone. Although he kept persisting, she never gave him a real answer or response to what he was saying.
They were the polar opposites of each other. The girl was mysterious and calm while the boy was very outspoken and playful. It was a very rare sight to see these two together and at times it was a little awkward.

(I, however admired his bravery to be able to confess his feelings flamboyantly to the girl he liked.)

After a couple of weeks of these notes and googly eyes towards her, something had to change. So a group of the other children gathered together in order to find a way to resist the boy’s advances on the girl. They tried to think of many different things and because of the fact that they were mere children and had no real understanding of what the world is like they didn’t come up with any elaborate plans.
After much discussion they finally decided to have the girl say that she likes another guy, which happens to be the most unattractive guy in the class, in order to break the boy’s heart. Given the fragility of the boy, he did fall under the plan and he broke down. 
For the next few days the boy was silent and didn’t continue his advances on the girl. The other children felt bad for what they did to him. However, the next few days he seemed even more depressed and not his usual self, however he still talked and hung out with his usual friends.
The boy started to show up to school every other day now. Eventually he didn’t show up for a couple of weeks at a time. Finally, the inconsistency stopped and he never came back. His classmates were shocked and felt the guilt in their hearts. The teacher never said anything about the boy’s sudden disappearance. It was all a mystery. There was no farewells or goodbyes, but just a missing student.
His close friends were quiet for a couple of days, but the rest seemed to move on after a good hour after because they were relieved of his messages for the girl and his statements of “I like you”. As for the girl, no one really knew how she felt about the boy’s sudden disappearance. The only evidence that was found was a stack of notes that were stuck between her binder and the plastic cover and on top was what seemed like a final note that read “ Thank you and goodbye”. 

The End.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Epilogue

A few years later after he stopped showing up, one of his classmates saw him going to a different school. He ran up to him and greeted him excitedly. They caught up on old times, reminiscing the times they played and laughed together.
Finally they talked about around the time the boy left. It was revealed that he felt depressed because his parents told him that they were moving. The classmate felt relieved because for all this time, the group that plotted against him felt guilty for what they had done. The boy said to the classmate, “It’s ok, first love’s never go how you want it to.”

34 comments:

  1. Wow, this story really tugs at the heartstrings. I'm sure everyone can relate to this feeling of first love, such a wonderful topic to write about! I love the sweet simplicity of the story, about how a boy meets a girl. I was so intrigued throughout the entirety of the story, especially the ending. I really connected with the little boy in the beginning. Great work Jeremiah!
    -Carianne Lefebvre P.1

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  2. This story was short, but it feels like it got told in a thousand emotions. I loved it and was able to compare to it very well, and it was beautifully written. Great Job!

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  3. Lauren Elizabeth WrightApril 18, 2018 at 12:08 PM

    I was hooked the entire time I read this. I really liked the way you described the boy's childlike perspective on love, and the dark turn the story took when the boy disappeared from school made this very entertaining to read. Great job.

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  4. I loved this so much! The innocence attached to every description of the little boy's feelings for his crush kept making me smile. This is definitely how little elementary school crush stories go, with the cute notes and the comedic difference between "like or like-like", etc. Great job, this was super cute!

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  5. This story sums up of what young love is. It showed the innocence and simple admiration between children. However, the story also showed how mischievous and evil kids can be. I absolutely loved this story. It really brought me back to elementary school when I had crushes on several kids. The good old days when it having a crush on someone was easy. Overall you did a great job on your entry.
    -Kristine Caspe period 5

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  6. Hello, I am so glad that you wrote about First Love because noways it doesn't really matter to a lot of people. But i could totally relate to you throughout the story because i almost had the same story but now when i think of it, i laugh at myself. Because i was in 5th grade and i remember being so sensitive about that. I like what you said at the end about first love doesn't go the way we wanted it to go. But it's always good to have nice experience. Thank you for sharing.
    -Taslima Ahamed
    -Per: 05

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  7. The plot really took me on a rollercoaster. The beginning was so cute and happy and then it turned so dark. The end was so nonchalant but it made me smile. Intrigued all the way through. You're vocabulary was great and the story was great.

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  8. This is cute, but sad. Cute that the boy declares his liking for the girl, but sad because she never tells him how she feels. I thought this was going to have somewhat of a happy ending, but I see I was wrong.

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  9. The title of your post captured me instantly and I was enthralled the entire time. Your story includes detailed descriptions, like how the girl makes the boy feel. I appreciate how you contrasted the belief about how children don't know what love is and the boy displaying his love for the girl through notes to show that love is universal and can be felt by everyone. Great job!

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  10. At first I thought this story was gonna he a typical love story but I was shocked to realize that this wasn’t the case. I loved all the detail you used because it made me feel as if I was there witnessing the whole thing. The way you described the story made it super easy to feel how everyone in the story was feeling. Great work!

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  11. You completely tricked me with the beginning! I totally thought this was going to be a super pure story about little kids being in love and it wasn't! Great job with not giving away the ending, it made the story much more emotional and powerful. Also I loved the subject because it put a twist on the classic first love story. Overall, great job, this story was awesome.

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  12. This is such a cute love story! I did not expect that ending, but still loved it regardless. Your diction really stood out to me because though it was casual, it added to the "middle school crush" vibe that I felt here. Great job Jeremiah! You're a talented writer!

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  13. Wow I was hooked from the very beginning. I'm a sucker for reading anything that involve love so I enjoyed it. It took a turn really fast which even made me sad but once I read the ending I was happy that the boy was ok.

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  14. I started off thinking "Ha how relatable," but it soon took a turn and really got me interested. I really like how it ended, the epilogue almost conveys this idea of what's in the past is in the past. Thank you for sharing!

    Zachary Judson
    P4

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  15. What an interesting and adorable little short story. I like how the narrator was somewhat omniscient and adopted a sort of playful tone when talking about these silly little kids. I wonder what made you pick this topic though. Good job!

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  16. This short story was so creative! I love how you included the message of the story in the epilogue that first loves aren't always meant to be. Good job getting across an important message through an innocent and cute story effectively!

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  17. This was a very adorable and intriguing story, the affection the boy showed to the girl just made my heart melt, you did such a great job!

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  18. Your piece had me reading the entire time, I loved this short story about first love and the innocence along with mixed emotions that comes with it. I feel like you captured of the overall experience of a first love. Good Job.

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  19. Oh my gosh! I loved your story so much! And, no, I’m not crying, you are ahaha. I enjoyed the little twist you included at the end. I was so disappointed, because i thought the worst had happened. Also, I think a lot of what was included in the story is something many can relate to, whether the sadness with moving, or the unrequited love. It was just a great story overall. Great job, and thank you for writing a great story!

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  20. This was a nice and heartwarming story. I'm not entirely sure what to take of the narrator suddenly interrupting the story to express their opinion, as I half-expected the narrator to suddenly become a part of the story. The brevity of the piece made this into a little emotional ride. The epilogue was really satisfying to read, given the fact that the end came without much explanation.

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  21. Your short story was absolutely heart warming to see how the boy interacted with and admired the girl he was so fond of. I thought it was quite funny how his classmates blamed themselves for his depression and moving, when all along they really had nothing to do with it. The epilogue really tied up the loose ends with the story, because the end of the short story definitely left off on a cliff hanger. Thank you so much for sharing such a sweet, and sensitive short story. Great job!
    -Destiny Freeman

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  22. When I read the title of this story, I was curious to see your take on a rather common topic. Luckily your story was very realistic and sweet. Also this story is something a lot of people have been through, so the situation is extremely relatable. Good Job!

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  23. Awwww this story was an emotional rollercoaster. It was so cute in the beginning reading how much the little boy adored the girl. Then I felt bad for him when the other kids were making up an excuse as to why the girl didn't like him back. I also really liked how the narrator expressed their opinion. I thought of the worst case scenario at the end and I'm glad it didn't end the way I expected it to. Overall amazing job!

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  24. This story was absolutely extraordinary and really kept me wondering what was going to happen next. I thoroughly enjoyed your story and I loved how you actually ended it with an epilogue to show how the boy had just moved instead of dying or something mysterious. Great job!

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  25. Alejandro QuintanillaApril 26, 2018 at 5:44 PM

    I was very surprised by the short story you wrote. From the title I was expecting a traditional story of two people falling in love, but I greatly enjoyed the interesting plot involved in your story and how it had a nice closure to it.

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  26. Jeremiah this story is an emotional roller coaster. I loved the message you wrote in the epilogue: how first loves sometimes are just not mean't to be. The affection the boy showed to the girl was really sweet and cute. Finding out that the boy was okay was a nice twist to put at the end. I also liked the fact that the epilogue completed or connected with the story. Great use of vocabulary and props on not writing a "typical" love story. Good job!

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  27. I thought this was gonna have a cute ending, but I guess not, dang. The innocence of the boy really showed how first loves are usually are when we're kids. Thanks for adding the epilogue by the boy, I really thought something happened to the boy, haha. Great job!

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  28. Your story was so cute and innocent but the ending made be so sad knowing that his little heart was broken by not being able to be with his crush. I really enjoyed seeing how fond the boy was of the girl and how he was brave enough to confess his feelings to the girl, it was very heartwarming. I also really liked how you could see the purity/innocence in the little boy's actions and how he felt towards the little girl, it made the story more realistic and playful. THANK YOU for adding the epilogue, it definitely put all the pieces together for me
    Jalynne Reyerse Period 2

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  29. This was a nice short story to read about childhood love. There aren't that many love stories I've read that show the innocence and the confusion that comes with the first developments of feelings when people were young. Childhood is a time when people begin exploring the world and themselves and a time that I miss dearly myself. I thoroughly enjoyed the context and the slight twist at the end. I'd like to thank you for including an ending to the story and not leave it on a cliffhanger like other stories I've read. I'm just glad he got better and the group of friends got peace of mind about the whole situation. Still wondering about the girl's feelings and why she didn't say anything when she clearly cared enough to keep his notes. Other than that, this was a great read.

    - Justin Presto (Per. 1)

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  30. This story is very heartwarming, you had my attention the entire time. Great job with the plot twist you added (;

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  31. Wow. I really thought that was going to end differently, but I’m relieved it didn’t end that way. This was such a great story! Your descriptions were spectacular and the suspense was crazy. Thanks for sharing this!
    - Jennifer Kirksey (per.5)

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  32. That plot twist took me for a completely turn, especially because it seemed as it the boy's change in demeanor was due to the children's plans of breaking the two apart. I absolutely enjoyed the progression of the story... Not so much the mean children, but the descriptions of their confusion and their plots to ruin the boy's first love was very detailed. I also loved how the speaker kind of broke the fourth wall, so to speak, and commented on what was going on in the story he was telling.

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  33. This was such a cute short story. I admire how honestly you were able to represent the feeling of having an innocent childhood crush, and how easily young hearts could be hurt. I haven't remembered the innocence of like-likeing someone in a while, and this was such a realistic account of it.

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  34. I love this story. It is merely pure honest. I believe that everyone has had their heartbroken once of twice when they were a child and this story has shown the pure essence of it. I enjoyed reading the play by play of the details within the story!! great job

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