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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

"Yellow Is the Color of Goodbye " by Kaitlyn R



     In a world of black and blue, yellow was the only memory I could hold onto. But now.... Yellow is just the color of “goodbye”. Goodbye to familiarity. Goodbye to my only best friend. Goodbye to her, the mother that every orphan only dreams about having. Stuck with my nightmare day and night.

There I was, sitting on the edge of the deteriorating dock by the old-abandoned lake house. My toes brushing the water's surface. Tears streamed down my red hot cheeks and into that mossy lake. I missed her. Was Heaven even a real place? With my head down, I sang the lullaby she used to sing to me when I was a small child over and over to myself.

“Mama loves the baby Baby loves the mama Nana nana Naana! Nana Nana Naana! Baby loves the mama Mama loves the baby Nana nana Naana! Nana Nana Naana!” 

I chose to look back on the good times and blocked out all the bad, and remembered when she and I went to the park when I was 6 and I layed in her lap underneath a big, wide oak tree and we both giggled as she proceeded to count all my freckles. She told me that there were 100 angel kisses casted along my cheeks and nose and it made me feel special to be loved 100 times over.

Feeling alittle better, I stood up lazily and meandered back down the dock towards the lake house.
“Reese!.... Reese!!” Tasting the worry in my brother Sage’s voice, I turned around to see that he was sprinting towards me. “I looked everywhere for you! I was so scared!! What happened between you and Dad? He went into his study with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s after you left.”
I didn’t make eye contact with him. I didn't want him to see that I had been crying... or what had happened to my face.
But he did see.

“What is that?” He cried as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to where I faced him completely. “Did Dad do this to you?” No words came out of my mouth. Who else? Of course he
did! Dad won’t touch Sage because he's on the varsity wrestling team at school. I’m no “Daddy’s little one”. I’m more like “Daddy’s punching bag”.

Sage chose not to pry. I knew he understood, and he held me for a minute before we started walking back home together. We talked about her and how she used to let us draw on her long legs when we were bored as children. We then changed the subject to our dreams and aspirations.
As we neared home, shouts bursted from the house. Muffled yelling and the breaking of glass hitting drywall. Sage told me to wait outside and walked into the house cautiously.
“What is going on here?” I heard Sage press my father.
“All the chores arent finished, you worthless peice of crap! The dishes are as dirty as a mile of cow shit. I should’ve set you two kids up for adoption when I had the chance.” Dad yelled. I could hear Jack Daniels wavering in his voice.
“Okay, well, you know what? I can’t take it anymore! Sage screamed. “You and your hypocritical wants are driving me insane! I do everything around the house while you sit here and drink--...” SMACK! The walls shook with the vibrations. Dad hit Sage for the first time. I heard shuffling from inside. A couple seconds later, Sage came back outside with two backpacks full. His face still stung red and swollen from the hit. The trucks keys jingled in his palm and he tossed them to me. “We are leaving this town. You drive. Need to go to the gas station. We’re low.”

As I sat in the driver's seat, unease filtered through my worn down veins. Sage sat down in the passenger seat and heaved the two backpacks in the back.

“Let's go, Reese. Drive .” Right as he said that, my father came outside holding a small pistol and it was aiming right towards Sage. He was screaming at us. Sage started humming to drown him out. I was frozen and so very nervous. Dad was blistering red with sweat plastered hair. Never once did he take his eyes off Sage. Sage slid his hand towards the gearshift and put the truck in reverse to where my father wouldn't see his movements and whispered under his breath,

“When I say go , start the truck and reverse a hard left. Then drive straight for the gas station.”

My father kept walking towards the truck. Bottle of Jack Daniel’s in one hand, gun in the other. “You kids never listen! I've done everything for you! Your mother would've been so ashamed of both of you. You kids were nothing but cancer to her!...”

Dear Mommy,
The
last time I saw you conscious, you were in the hospital bed, I hugged you around
your chest, but you wanted me to hug and kiss your face so that you could actually feel me around you rather than being under a glass roof... So close to what you want, but never being able to reach out and touch it. I took you for granted while you were alive, and I still take you for granted today. I blame you for everything yet nothing. I pray to God saying that I want a dream
of you in my sleep and I'm selfish in that way. I always have been. Anne Frank once said that “dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.” I realize that all I've ever done in my life is worry about when I get to see you, and when I can have your attention, and I’m sorry. I should've hugged and kissed your face for you rather than just hugging your chest for me because you were the one in need. Not me.
Sincerely Yours, Reese

“....As a matter of fact she died from it! Your fault! YOU TOOK MY WIFE AWAY FROM ME--GAVE HER LEUKEMIA BECAUSE IT'S ALL YOU KNOW !” The gun shook and tears spilled out of Dad’s glassy eyes. My mother was paralyzed from the neck down falling down a flight of stairs and weeks later, we found out she also had Leukemia.

“Go.” Sage whispered and I hit the gas and did exactly as my brother said. A loud BANG went off and hit the car and I drove off fast and didn't look back.

“We sure dodged that bullet didn't we, Sage?...... Sage?” I turned my head to my right to see my best friends yellow shirt stained red.

46 comments:

  1. At first I knew exactly where this story was going but as i continued to read i changed my mind just to find out that my first conclusion was right which made the end so much worse, it was a very good way to lay out this piece of writing.

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  2. This felt so real and it was so powerful. I really enjoyed reading this I had chills the entire time. The way you talked about everything just made me want to continue reading it. Really great work !

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  3. Lauren Elizabeth WrightOctober 10, 2017 at 3:16 PM

    Wow. This is the first piece I read on the blog this month and it blew me away. The plot was extremely captivating and I was constantly engaged the entire time I was reading. On top of the plot itself, everything was very well-written; the way you structured and wrote this made it all the more gripping. You definitely managed to convey a lot of feelings to the reader. This is my favorite piece this month. Great job!

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  4. Reading this whole piece I was mentally visualizing a mini movie the whole time. Your detail truly captures the attention of the reader. Overall great work on emotional aspect as well.

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  5. You really kept my attention Kate. I like the break were your talking to your mom. It adds really nice suspense to the story. I liked how the end explained the beginning, it kept me reading. I like how you slowly reviled the bad details of their life. It really flowed with the story.

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  6. This piece was so powerful! The details in this story made it more real to me as I was able mentally visualize it. This was very well written, and I was at the edge of my seat the whole entire time as I continued to read it. By far the ending was the saddest part, but it tied the whole story together and left the reader with a "what happens next?". It was truly great.
    -Eliana Rodriguez

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  7. I want this to become a movie. Absolutely stunning imagery and detail. I genuinely felt like I was reading a book and now I wish there was more. I saw the scene playing in my head the entire time and my eyes even became watery at the end. Amazing job.

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  8. I LOVE THIS. Your piece took my mind and thoughts to a whole other level, in an amazing way! The storyline and sensory details, kept the story flowing and thrilling. The shift in detail is great and it kept my heart racing! After I finished reading your piece, questions clicked in my head about the title, "Why is yellow the color of goodbye?". At first glance, I thought yellow represented Reese's mother, but it had shockingly symbolized the lost of her brother. Overall, I thought the piece was intriguing and wonderful to read. Again I loved every bit of it!

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  9. This piece was just wow, I am at lost for words from it! When I think of the color yellow I think happy and carefree but here it is not the case and it just made this story so much more powerful! The whole time I was reading I could just picture everything happening in my head because of all the detail you put in and it was just great to read! Good job!

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  10. Hitting me with the feels... this was a wonderful piece in which I enjoyed. Giving a whole new meaning to the word yellow from what the social norm would think was absolutely insane. Kudos to you, this is an A in my book.

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  11. This piece hit me emotionally and it seemed so real, good work. I liked how the piece went full circle and the end explained why yellow was the color of goodbyes. The vivid imagery brings the plot to life. I was on the edge of my seating waiting for the story to continue!

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  12. I had chills when i reached the last sentence, and still do!! If you were to make this into a movie, you can bet your bottom dollar that I would be there to see it. This piece captured my attention the entire time and I started to read faster as the events started to become tenser. I vividly pictured this entire, jaw dropping story because you have such an amazing way with words! Great job Kaitlyn!

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  13. WOW! that was so captivating and so intresting! I loved how intresting the story was from the beginning to the end. All the details made everything feel so real and kept the story flowing. I really enjoyed this piece it was so creative and so well written! Great job Kaitlyn!

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  14. You did a great job at bringing the story to life. Your word choice and description really helped me imagine the story. The ending was great and I liked how it tied in with the title.
    -Dominique Madrigal

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  15. This piece was amazing! It kept my attention the whole time and it hit me emotionally. The details you used in the story really brought the story to life. Good job!

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  16. This piece was just so powerful, it gives a whole other insight on what the color yellow can represent other than just a color. How it means something to someone and the backstory and connotation associated with it for this person.

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  17. This story was so emotionally moving and a true story of tragedy and family. The story was a unique twist to the story of a broken family and left me as the reader with a heavy heart, especially after that last sentence. Great piece!

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  18. This story was very moving and touching. While reading it, I felt like I was actually in it and I liked how you kept me wondering what's going to happen next. You did a great job of making it feel so real and relatable.

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  19. This piece truly left me in awe. You kept me intrigued through your use thorough use of imagery in which I could feel every emotion and every action as if I am right there with the main character. You're a very talented writer! Amazing job!!

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  20. Wow this was such a captivating story. I felt myself drawn into it from the very start, especially because of the intro. The plot of the story kept me reading through it. Your use of descriptions and figurative language gave the story life. Overall, very well done.

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  21. As I was scrolling through the September writers, I clicked on yours because your title was so intriguing and I liked how you answered any questions about your title in your story, like why yellow is the color of goodbye. I appreciated the way your story built up suspense and kept the audience wondering why certain things were said. Your details also added so much color and life to the story, no line was dull. My favorite was, "Tears streamed down my red hot cheeks and into that mossy lake." because I can perfectly visualize this. Great job!
    -Elizabeth Rivera

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  22. This story was capitivating. Everything from imagery and the descriptions for everything was so vivid, almost like I was watching a movie. Great job, you are a very talented write!

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  23. I was hooked from the first line. Thought this was a short story, you included so much background and action and it all kept me drawn into the plot of the story. I especially liked your usage of various types of figurative language and inclusion of a lot of detail. Great job!

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  24. This was such a great piece to read! It has the ability to capture everyones attention and keep it until the very end, with its specific details and scenarios. I'm truly inspired by this piece of writing! thank you!

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  25. What a captivating story! Your vivid imagery and attention to detail made this story breath with life. The letter to your mother and the mentioned yellow in the beginning and end truly tied this piece together and the whole plot was just so emotionally breathtaking! You have such a talent for writing, please keep it up!

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  26. Wow! This absolutely captivated me as soon as I read the title. The imagery and detail you used was amazing and painted a really vivid picture in my head. The emotion throughout this piece was so powerful. The last line twisted my heart and tears threatened to escape my eyes. You did an amazing job writing this. You're a very talented writer.

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  27. very well written piece. You were able to grab my attention and keep it. I felt myself thirsting for the next line with the suspense keeping me on the edge of my seat. I likehow you came full circle with the colors and the title. I very much enjoyed your piece.

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  28. This story was amazing from start to finish. You did a wonderful job with the imagery and the descriptions. I loved how you made it suspenseful from the beginning because it grabbed my attention even more. The ending was so sad and it really touched my heart. Overall, you did an amazing job.

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  29. This was a wonderful story, I was drawn in from the start. You have very excellent style in the way you write. I love the way you incorporated yellow into the story, it was very creative. Great job!

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  30. This took my breath away... i felt like i was witnessing it all through a glass window. Its an amazing work of art and i loved it.

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  31. From the start of this story I was lured in and could not stop reading. The structure and imagery made the whole piece come alive. I felt as if I knew the characters and emotionally connected to them. This was a masterpiece no doubt.

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  32. Well gee Kaitlyn, thanks for the waterworks. I never pegged you as the literate type; adept in the visual arts but not verbal. However, you've truly outdone yourself, this is the kind of short story that I would use as an example for others. As a reference and inspiration for myself. The word choice is by no means repetitive and gives a very natural and fluid flow through the story. And the story, it feels real. You've successfully created more than a story with characters, you have transcended into a personal history with genuine and sincere people. I love it so much, I'm blown away and envious of your literary talent and skill. You make me proud to call you my friend, keep up the good work Kaitlyn

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  33. WOW! This piece was so amazing. You had me captivated the entire time with the amount of details you put into the imagery you used. The end of your story was such a twist of events and the last three stanzas gave me chills. You truly had me hooked!

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  34. Your piece has a great lure using imagery of autumn. I love how it involves so many different styles and varied uses of quotes, imagery, and the paragraph organized as a letter. The ending is great, giving the reader a variety of feelings and chills. Excellent piece.

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  35. Alejandro QuintanillaOctober 16, 2017 at 8:15 PM

    This piece was extremely captivating and descriptive as you get drawn into not only the events surrounding the passing of the narrator's mother but also the narrator's current situation at home since the mother's death. The story also surprised me greatly with the plot twist of the brother's untimely and unexpected death as I expected the color yellow to be associated with the mother.

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  36. This was really great, it really made me emotional. Great imagery, I felt like i was phsically there the whole time i was reading. Great Job !

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  37. Wow just such an emotional piece. I could feel every emotion of the loss and terror that child must have been through. But I very much enjoyed reading this eye opening story.

    -Sara Hernandez
    Per. 6

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  38. Child abuse, death, and violence all at once--- this was a heavy piece, but you executed it tastefully. Although the title already foretold tragedy, I found that I was already able to relate to Sage and Reese so the ending was all the more heartbreaking. The only thing I would recommend is a little proofreading for formatting and minor grammar/spelling issues.

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  39. This is such a mature piece that honestly brought me to tears. I hoped nothing would happen to Sage or Reese when I read their dad has a gun in his hand, but life doesn't always have a happy ending. I wish this was a full length play or book because it shines a light on abuse, something not vocalized and dealt with enough. Great job.

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  40. This is beyond words. Every detail could be easily visualized. At first I thought the color yellow had something to do with fall. It turned out to be much worse. Initially I thought it was a work of nonfiction and that the school would have to now intervene. My heart wouldn't stop pounding.

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  41. Great job on this. Your uses of imagery made me able to see the whole thing. This was heartbreaking and emotional, yet amazingly written.

    --London Asterino, Period 5

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  42. This passage is simply so beautiful and stunning. I truly believe you did an excellent job in capturing the readers attention. The emotion that you were able to put threw my heart is simply astonishing and your use of imagery and (again) emotion truly all came together to make this amazing piece. This is truly a splendid job. Well done!

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  43. Can I just say WELL DONE !!! You had my attention this whole time between you just talking to your mom and between the characters. I believe you can become a huge writer in the future. I really like this piece of work. I will definitely say it's one of my favorites.

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  44. Wow, that's quite possibly the best word I could think of to describe this. This story just kept me so engaged and captivated. Just when I thought I knew what was going on, a hard turn comes and changes everything. This is my favorite read from this month and I'll definitely refer back to it a couple of times.

    ~ Nysiah LeGardye period 2

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  45. This was an excellent article and I am glad to have read it. I feel so moved and emotional after reading I wish you would create a part two.

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  46. The way you are able to convey the color yellow into such a strong story is truly amazing. I was intrigued from start to finish and would LOVE to know what happens next. Very well done :)
    -Taylor Vasquez

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