Every day the thoughts of unanswered questions lurk into my mind:
“Were we never enough? Why’d you go?” It was morning, we woke up from our
regular slumber. I remember waking up to the sound of an immense cry of a
broken heart. I ran to the other room, only to find you gone without a trace,
or even a simple goodbye. We called you endlessly in desperation to hear your
voice and make an understanding out of this sudden event. We believed that our
love was genuine… I believed that it was.
I stand outside, staring blankly at our
spot where we would play catch. Memories of laughter, joy, and love we shared
together blurred my judgement to fathom the reason why you did what you did.
The backyard was where I would always be able to find your presence as you
cultivate our garden. Now the fruits and trees that reside are replaced with
the flowering lies and sins you have buried to hide from all of us.
You left her, you left your children, you left me. We loved you.
We gave the same love and affection we credulously believed you had for us all,
but you chose water over your own blood. The painful scars that you grazed our
hearts with your actions can only be mended but never fully healed. She tried
to hide her pain from all us, afraid that it would heighten our resentment
towards you. But the quiet sound of her cries and her endless prayers could not
be concealed behind her closed doors. Although we were able to pass through the
storm and feel the sun, the ocean still overflows from your rain of lies. No
matter how much older or wiser I can become, I will never fully understand the
reason why you did what you did.
I can feel the emotion and pain you put into this very piece with the amount of detail and imagery. It really give emphasis to what you call "a Parent's love." Quite a piece, Ivanka.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing knowing that though this piece may be a relatively short one, the amount of emotion and feeling you put into it is truly impressive. It felt as if I was the speaker through your incorporation of various imageries and details. It makes it all the more touching to read. I'm impressed!
ReplyDeleteWow. This was a truly outstanding piece. Your diction conveyed your thoughts and emotions so well and the manner in which you structured your sentences added to the flow of this entire piece. I'm extremely impressed with your skills as a writer and I think you did an amazing job.
ReplyDeleteIvanka, this piece was so heartfelt and did a great job of conveying pain and confusion. It was so well written and the tone and theme were so powerful and raw. Your placement of details and organization also seemed very calculated and well thought out as well. You did an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was touching and emotional. I loved how you really conveyed the feeling of pain with the words that you used. I also loved the details of the piece that created an even deeper tone to it. It was beautifully written! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was beautifully written and with such heartbreaking imagery and language. You conveyed your thought so clearly and deeply that I think all the reader could easily feel a deep cutting pain. The emotions spilled out in this piece are so raw and beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteIvanka, your piece is extremely emotional and gives the audience a look into the speaker's perspective. You were able to convey such a strong message to your audience. Your expression of a hurtful and angry tone was so impactful to the audience. Amazing job, and thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI loved your piece Ivanka! You wrote this beautifully by using a large amount of details and a strong tone throughout your entire story. You put all your emotion out on the page which made it even more breathtaking. You did a great job Ivanka!
ReplyDeleteI was surprised by the amount of emotion you put into this piece; it was like you condensed a novel's worth of pain and suffering into a short but extremely meaningful story. The depth of every sentence and the careful composition of your piece really exaggerates the emotion you've put into this piece and it's just amazing.
ReplyDeleteAn extremely magnificent story. I felt the pain and the raw anger you have for the abandonment. Your piece was moving and I really feel the deep anguish. The tone of the speaker gave a strong depth to your piece. Your diction can be better, but it's simplicity makes this a successful story!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It was well written and very sentimental. I loved how you conveyed your story in a poetic style and the ambiguity that you used in this piece because it gave it an overall deeper range of emotions. Also, the questioning and candid details of the topic created a genuine and heartfelt tone throughout the entire piece. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis excerpt was so beautifully told without so much as one grammatical error and with so much life and emotion. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThe sentences you use throughout this piece are really deep, passionate and thought-provoking. I like how you incorporated a somewhat poetic feel to this because it makes it that more intriguing. It is such a straightforward and brief piece yet filled with such emotion. Thank you for sharing this emotional moment with all of us Ivanka.
ReplyDeleteSuch a raw and intense piece! Even with so little you gave an audience an emotional roller coaster. I can almost feel your pain with each sentence, each sentence had this sense of passion of with it, its indescribable.
ReplyDeleteAsking the innocent questions in the beginning started the piece off with a very mysterious tone, and the language describing your emotions conveyed a very melancholy time for you. As you began retracing your steps and remembering the moments the both of you shared, it's evident there was something uneasy about your tone. The imagery and emotions revealed in this piece allowed me to really connect with the situation and compare it to my own life. I commend you for being able to relay such an emotional time in your life.
ReplyDeleteThe way you started the piece was amazing!!! I really felt the emotions the feelings, and I really praise you for being such a strong person.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was flowing with raw emotion. Your piece conveys the emotion that children hold for their parents. Overall, this was a very intriguing piece. - Jerico Dizon
ReplyDeleteBy far, this is the best piece I have read all year. I was moved by every single sentence that I imagined you uttering out of your mouth. The imagery and symbolism were so strong and full of emotion that I literally felt the pain the speaker of the story is expressing. You're amazing, girl. Beautiful job!
ReplyDeleteI loved the emotions in this piece and the way it made me think of my parents and how much they have done for me. The way you show imagery really does help a lot and overall just helps imagine whats really going on. Amazing job on this!!!
ReplyDeleteThis piece evokes a lot of emotions. Your use of diction and imagery does that job well. It is a very entertaining piece as well. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteWow Ivanka! This is such a powerful and beautiful piece. The use of such detail and imagery almost made me feel like I was the person experiencing it all. It touches on so many emotions and although I may not be able to relate your piece makes me feel like I can, and there are many people out there who can relate and you were able to pin point every emotion that runs through their brains. Again, what a beautiful piece! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteIvanka, This was a very emotional and beautiful piece. The imagery and the detail that you used really shows the types of emotions that you have experienced.
ReplyDeleteThis was a powerful and very well-written piece. The emotions that were portrayed from the tone of your writing was easily seen. The detail also helped allow empathy on the side of the reader. I really like the way you decided to write this piece.
ReplyDeleteIvanka, this piece really tugs at your heartstrings. I really enjoyed the poetic rhythm in it. Also, the figurative approach you took towards the topic made it a lot more intense than if you would've just told the story in a literal context. Overall, this piece was super powerful and beautifully written and executed. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI loved how much emotion can be read throughout this piece. Each word helps contribute to the over tone. The story is captivating and very telling, nice job!
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ReplyDeleteThis piece was so well written and heartbreaking to read. It has a great rhythm and a sullen tone. It also truly holds the feelings of when someone leaves without a reason and what effect it has on the people left behind. This piece was very powerful and so filled with emotion. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis was such an emotional piece captured in a somber tone to convey the emotions and feelings you've felt in the story. Your use and diction and imagery really highlights the pain you endured and adds more depth to the story. Thank you for sharing this great piece!
ReplyDeleteThis piece felt very personal and emotional. It has a tone that reflects your emotions. Thank you for sharing this piece, it depicts the loss of child innocence well
ReplyDeleteThis was such an incredible and passionate piece. The writing was so miraculous and heartfelt, the diction and the emotion really resonated with me. This was spectacular and is easily one of the best pieces I have read all year. Thank for sharing this story.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is very heartbreaking and touching as I can feel your emotion with your great use of imagery. I really enjoyed reading because of how in depth you were with the description of the current pain you were feeling at this time. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
ReplyDeleteIvanka, your emotions can be felt from your writing as you express your feelings so poetically. The small things you hinted at that seem so minute in a situation but those are the times when we feel the most pain. I can relate nearly directly to this story and I have felt the way you have, and its incredible that you were able to transcribe those feelings into words. The tone you set presided the entire piece so perfectly, using nostalgia and empathy to evoke these feelings to the audience as well. AMAZING JOB!
ReplyDeleteThis was a well written piece. The imagery and details you gave in the story helped show the emotion you felt. I found this to be a very powerful piece. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThe impact of your writing is so incredibly powerful. After reading this any reader will only be left with pain, sorrow, and their wandering thoughts. The emotions were easily detectible through the tone. In the beginning it started a little ominous and I wasn't quite sure where it was leading to which kept me guessing and on my toes to read the next sentence. Towars the end it was obvious and the raw emotion is felt right thtrough the other side of the computer screen. Great job!
ReplyDeleteyou were able to include so much emotion into this short piece. it breaks my heart knowing that some people dont have parents who love them. The amount of detail and comparisons makes me grateful for my family.
ReplyDeleteIvanka, i know this must have been really hard for you based on all the emotion i can read through this screen. The repetition of the questions adds a more realistic touch to it because i feel its in our nature to ask constant questions when we are uncertain of the outcome or even the event. Once we run out of questions to ask, we just repeat what we know. I can feel your emotions through this and i think you did an amazing job. Stay strong always beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThe most important message i got from this story is knowing that we, as humans, are strong no matter what life throws at us. Your story, with all its emotional aspects, completes that message and shows people the impact writing can have on the way we live.
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ReplyDeleteThe first sentence of the story left such an emotional impact on the reader. The tone remained somber throughout the piece with hints of rising frustration and confusion, all which make the reader empathize the pain and feeling of abandonment shared by the narrator. The last sentence tied the entire piece together by answering the question imposed in the first sentence, realizing the damage that was dealt when he left. Great piece!!
Ivanka, this was such an impactful piece! You used a lot of imagery and the diction in this conveyed the speakers heartache. I also liked the questions in the beginning because it shows the speaker's feelings of confusion, anger and abandonment. Overall this was very intriguing, good job.
ReplyDeleteWow Ivanka this is a great piece there is so much emotion and thought and feeling expressed throughout this piece! I really do like this piece is so warm and touching because we can all relate to it and know how it feels. Sense you wrote it in such a way that we all can emphasize the emotion that is sought out makes this every more amazing. Thank for sharing this with us I love heart touching writing.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was written in such an eloquent manner and it is quite an amazing how you were able to express so much emotion through your words. It was so well written that I could empathize and actually feel the strength and pain through what was written. You're an amazing writer and I truly enjoyed this read.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is really well written good job! Your use of imagery to compliment the emotions described is amazing and consistent throughout, I drfinitely got the feel of a daughter or son who lost a parent, and the mother's sadness and pain which cannot be concealed. Thank you so much, nice work!
ReplyDeleteI must say that this has to be one of my favorite blog posts from this entire year. The very first sentence captivated my full attention and the piece only got better from there! This piece was so raw and full of an immense amount of emotion. The passionate tone was so strong and really made this piece, even at its small length, one of the most powerful and emotional pieces yet. Amazing job Ivanka!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was amazing! Thank you for sharing your story. Your use of vivid imagery and strong diction conveyed such raw emotion that we were able to feel. As the audience, one feels angry, confused, and deceived just as the speaker did. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteSuch an emotional piece as many may be able to relate, not specifically but we all experience loss, abandonment or disappointment from one very influential to us. Your writing techniques are very strong how you can write something so moving in a few paragraphs, thank you for sharing. As humans we naturally try to justify and find reasoning in most things, but its very important to learn that often others' actions are not meant to be reasoned in our own minds no matter how much we may think we deserve the blame. Heartbreaking but this experience is just further forming the person you are and you will prosper greatly!
ReplyDeleteWith the amount of emotion you put in I think it made it easier for us to understand the themes of abandonment, resentment, and anger. This story was heartbreaking in the sense that the person mentioned never repaid the love they took. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this it was very clear the emotions that you put into this piece. I believe the title fits perfectly into what you wrote because of how you asked what happened and how you will "never fully understand the reason for why you did what you did"
ReplyDeleteAs you are reading this piece you really feel the emotions you are putting out and feeling as you typed it. I can relate to this since I think about this concept a lot. It really shows how we take our parents love for granted a lot of times. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece!
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