"Who Am I?" by Marta K.

     Who am I? It’s a question I have struggled to answer since I came out the womb. Of
course I’m a human, a female to be more specific, and my skin is brown. But what does that
mean? Who do I identify with? I have struggled to answer these questions for most of my life
and I only recently came to terms with my identity. Both of my parents were born and raised in
Ethiopia, but later moved to Sweden due to political unrest in the country. They met there and
got married, and were blessed with the presence of their second child: Marta Kiros. When I was
1 years old we moved to America, so it’s safe to say I know very little about what life was like in
Sweden. America is where I learned how to walk, talk, run, play, and grow as any other child
would. But for some reason, I never felt at home. I never felt like I mixed well with everyone. The
life I had at home was so different than the life presented to me at school, and soon enough I
became ashamed of my Ethiopian heritage. Kids who looked “African” at school were often
made fun of so I asked my parents to only speak English in public so no one would know.
Even though I spoke English fluently and was well accustomed into American culture,
things didn’t feel right. I was labeled as too “White” for the most of the Black kids and too “Black”
for White kids. Being stuck in this middle ground was confusing and pretty harmful for my self
confidence. Even though I had plenty of friends at school, I never felt truly accepted because I
hadn’t even accepted myself. As time went on, social media platforms such as Twitter exposed
me to thousands of other Africans just like me. I was finally exposed to people who experienced
the same feelings of loneliness and confusion because we came from different backgrounds.
Over time, it became easier for me to claim and identify myself as an Ethiopian and I began to
do extensive research about my country and its history. I realized that I am lucky to even have a
culture, and surrounding myself with other Ethiopians has definitely helped me gain more pride
in my country.

     Fast forward to this past summer: I was fortunate enough to visit Ethiopia for second time and
my I was left in awe. The thought of there being a whole different side of the world is still mind
boggling to me. After meeting so many family members and visiting so many historic sites, I
realized how selfish I was in being ashamed of my culture and background. By attempting to
erase that part of me, I was erasing the hundreds of family members I have back home, the
fierce bravery of my ancestors who fought for Ethiopia to be the only African country to never be
colonized, and the love for community that is so strong there.
Even now, I still don’t feel 100% Ethiopian, American, or Swedish, but I have learned to
embrace every side of my background, especially my Ethiopian heritage. My culture, food, and
language is so beautiful and I would encourage everyone to dig deeper into their own. The
mixture of our backgrounds is what makes America great, so I will never let anyone convince
me that I have to let go of my Ethiopian culture to become a true “American”. Embracing my
background has helped me learn so much about myself and I have met so many wonderful
people through the process. I hope everyone can one day come to terms with their heritage
while respecting and appreciating other cultures as well.