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Sunday, November 27, 2016

"The Long Awaited Birthday " by Chelsea G



     It was Jude’s 18th birthday what she wished for the most is to have a perfect day .Most of her birthdays never turn out as planned . Her goal this year is to make this day the best .The time before her birthday was spent planning in advance for her day to go as planned. Her birthday celebration, outfit ,and other activities all planned ahead just in case.Jude’s previous birthdays haven’t all gone so well, there always seems to be something wrong. In past there has been fires , broken bones , and money owed because of this awaited day .Come morning of this important event it seemed to be a beautiful day but that would soon change.The first sing along song “happy birthday” was heard from downstairs and right after the clouds rolled in gray visible through the window so she got a bad feeling but smiled and continued along with the day . Her family was the cause of the song waiting along with her favorite delicious breakfast pancakes! So far everything was good but time for school rolled around the corner.The time was 7:40 am and the bus was running late .She waited for about 20 minutes to conclude the bus was probably not coming .Strangely enough she calls her parents who had gone to work already to ask about what she should do and they allow Jude to stay home this year for her birthday.Not expecting this her plans were mixed up around morning time but this was alright because the real planning went into her birthday party that was after school.During the morning she was figuring out what to do with the spare time so she just watched a few movies.After a few movies it was almost time for her family to get home and all the deliveries to come in order to start setting up for the celebration.Her family arrives home while she is napping in her bed and they are shocked that she is home and not at school and acts as if it were any regular day. She wonders what could’ve changed from this morning.She explains to her family they had pancakes for breakfast and that they sang for her.To later call and ask what to do since the bus didnt arrive and she was told to stay home by her mom . Her parents explain to her that they woke up late so they went straight to work thinking she had gone to school .Apparently she didn't wake up until just then and was dreaming the events of this morning believing them to have happened. In reality her birthday was tomorrow and she was a little too excited/ nervous to see how her day would go.With patience she would soon find out.

10 comments:

  1. Aw I feel very bad for Jude because honestly I have had a few birthdays that didn't go as planned myself. The day of someones birth is very important because it is the day that they came to existence and were exposed to all the beautiful and magical things this world has to offer. It is very sad that some of the most important people in her life forgot about her birthday. I hope she has a better day next year.

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  2. This is really sad, but I really liked how you pieced all the elements of this story together. It was really creative and also explored the wonders of the mind and of dreams which I though was really interesting. I hope Jude finally has a birthday that doesn't turn out tragically!

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  3. This is a story that really captures the complexity of dreams and how much our mind wanders while we are sleeping.I similarly have had a dream where I woke up went to school as if it where a normal day. I also went through my night routine and when i woke up "the next morning," which was actually that morning I realized it was all a dream and could not believe it. I was also a little annoyed that I felt like I went through an entire day of school when I really didn't.

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  4. The way you pieced the story together made it seem as if her birthday was on the actually day. It was a plot twist when you wrote that "it was only a dream" because it was not something I was expecting. I can relate to this because when I am excited about an event the next day, sometimes I have a dream about it. I wake and I would realize that it was only a dream.
    -Ashley Sung

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  5. This story is cute and kind of leaves the reader with some type of suspense, wondering whether Jude will actually have an amazing day or if it will turn into the complete opposite. I guess that is kind of up to the reader to paint the rest of the picture, which then makes the rest of the story a mystery. This then allows the reader to be creative and imaginative. Thank you for this piece, good job!

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  6. I was not expecting such a twist at the end, it really got me! I find Jude to be a very relatable character, I've found myself dreaming of things I've wanted then waking up disappointed when it wasn't real. Overall, the story was a fun read and I enjoyed it.

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  7. This story really shows the power of an individuals mind and how expectations for an upcoming event can really impact a persons thought process. The suspenseful turn in the plot really highlights that idea. This was really well written and shared a great message. Thank you for sharing this!

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  8. This story was super interesting. That plot twist got me. It was suspenseful and really shows how our imaginations can wander. It was a nice plot and overall good story! Good job!!

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  9. What a sad little story! It had such a strange plot twist when i didn't expect it! Overall a well written story, yet there is some punctuation issues. Very minor ones anyway and i love how this story is well detailed with imagery and also very descriptive backgrounds. Good job!

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  10. I think it's strange how our minds can play tricks on us, I really like how your story has a surreal twist to it, but I think it's also somewhat sad.

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