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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"Paradise" by Victoria H

The sunset the day after rain has fallen is the most precious moment. When I was little I was
extremely close to my great grandmother (NANA is what we called her) who had a lot of health
problems. She use to take me to the park when she was not working which wasn't often but she
made time for me when she could. Her favorite time to go was after it had rained because she
loved to just lay on a blanket on the grass and watch the sun rays coming through the clouds
while the sunset. We would lie there and point to each sunray and say the name of someone we
knew who passed away recently and say “there they go”, “God is taking them to paradise now”.
I was maybe around 8 when I finally asked what paradise was and by that time it was about a
year away from when she was expected to die. She looked at me one day and said “Paradise
mi princesa is where I am going to be going soon” and of course I didn't think much of it then,
there was a huge storm the night she passed away, I remember it because I was at my
grandparents house and they use to have this door that wouldn't lock all the way no matter what
we did and it kept banging and banging. I went to go close it because I couldn't go to sleep and I
tripped and fell on some water by the door and blacked out, I was awoken by music and my
great grandmother happy and dancing to her favorite song in the kitchen. She looked at my and
she said “you want to try some of this princesa, it taste like paradise” and I looked at her and
said “sure”. We stood in the kitchen just talking about weird stuff, which was not anything new
for us, and finally she said it's time for you to go back to sleep come on let's go. She took me to
her room and tucked me in and said “don't cry when you wake up tomorrow because I'm in
paradise”. I woke up to my mom coming to pick me up from my grandparents house crying
telling me my great grandmother died and I just smiled and said “it's okay she's in paradise”.
The day after rain has fallen and the sun rays are flowing through the clouds I always go to the
park with my sister or mother or my boyfriend and we look at the sky and say “there's NANA in
paradise”.

17 comments:

  1. This is a very beautiful story and I can really relate. I lost my grandma about three years ago and it was really hard. Losing a loved one is always hard, but I like that this story brought a lighthearted perspective to this subject. It's comforting to know that even though our loved ones are not physically with us they are always in our heart.

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  2. What a very well told story! This story touched my heart that I can clearly relate to this story when my grandfather died four years ago. Seems that your grandma is happy in the heavens or in "paradise." Thankful that your grandma is at peace and hopefully she left memorable memories that will live forever not only with you but the entire family and keep her in your heart always.

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  3. This story was very touching story. I think the way your grandma always told you if someone passed away then they go to "paradise" and the meaning of "paradise" might be more of a positive to you. I think that the day after rain has fallen and the sun rays flowing through the cloud will become a memory for you between you and your grandma because it was something she used to enjoy and it was also something you experienced with her.

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  4. This piece grabbed my attention at the beginning and didn't let go of it until the very end. So many people can relate to your story, myself included. The time following the loss of a loved one is more often than not filled with pain and grief, however, you were able to bring light to the darkness in a way which many will never be able to do. Thank you for writing this powerful piece.

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  5. The beginning of this story immediately grabbed my attention with your use of diction. The way you began the poem gave off such a beautiful calm and promising tone. I do apologize for your lost, but I'm also very glad that you have a positive way of interpreting it with the idea of "paradise."

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  6. I really enjoyed this piece with your great use of imagery. The way you described this "paradise" was very beautiful and as you talked about your great grandma's death and how it effected you in a negative way but you seemed to deal with it in a more positive way by saying she made it to this paradise she talks so highly upon. Thanks for this beautiful piece!

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  8. This story stirred up many emotions for me. I was moved by your close relationship with your great-grandmother and felt warm as you elaborated on your bonding time and conversations with her. My only critique is for the grammar and certain punctuation errors to be fixed, but other than that the piece was well-written and is very touching to many readers. Beautiful job!

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  9. This story was very good and heart warming as it grabbed my attention quickly. The way in which you used "paradise" to make a very horrible situation to a positive outlook gives a change to how we view this situation. Its always good to know that our loved ones remain and live through our memories.

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  10. I am sorry for your loss, this was a really good story to me and I enjoyed your style of writing. It gave me a clear visual of the settings and events happening throughout the story. Your experience makes "paradise" seem as something positive rather than negative. Thank you for being able to share such a personal experience.

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  11. I absolutely loved this piece it was so touching and despite the tragedy that took place the way you viewed/ handle it brought a smile to my face. The use of paradise was heartwarming and beautiful. Thank you for writing this wonderful piece, it brought me a new way to look at things.

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  12. The title is what origanally grabbed my attention. I didn't realize that it would have such a strong meaning to you when I first started reading. It's wonderful that even after she passed away you are left with only warm feelings and solely joyous memories of your rare but treasured times together. This piece was really sweet to read so thank you for feeling comfortable ennough to share this with us.

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  13. I love how you looked at your grandmother's death as something that could be positive, and I thought it was really neat how you both shared the memories of the sun rays together. This piece brought a smile to my face and reminded me of how we tend to forget that those we love that pass away are indeed in their own Paradise. This piece really made me happy and I enjoyed all of the personal details you incorporated.

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  14. I really liked how you were able to put a glimmer of light through the death of a loved one. Although it was heartbreaking reading the last moments you had with her, it really touched me that you had followed her words and smiled knowing those good memories would last forever in paradise.

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  15. I never had the experience of living with any of my grandparents, but I'd like to think one day that we'll be able to come together and I hope you're able to find solace in the wake of your loss.

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  16. This piece is very powerful in the sense that it is able to make death seem peaceful and something not to fear. I really enjoyed this and although I have never personally lost someone I loved, it was endearing and full of light. Overall, the way you set up the story really worked.

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  17. I can tell that this piece was written with heartfelt emotion. I loved the way you combined imagery that contrast each other between the sun and rain. The overall story gave me a new way to view life despite going through difficult times. Thank you for writing!

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