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Monday, October 24, 2016

"Never Would’ve Thought" by Cheyenne W


     My best friend and I weren't quite sure what we wanted to do this one weekend. She was
allowed to take her mom's car and go somewhere, so we had many thoughts of where we should
go. We thought about going to the beach, the movies, just to eat out, or to even go on a date, but
I thought “Lets just go skating even though I can't skate all that well”. My best friend Nicole
agreed with my decision, so we wanted to go cosmic skating which is around 7. We left my
house around 7 and since the Skate Express is in Chino Hills it's about 20 minutes away we
showed up around 7:30. Now, at this time we are in line with some other friends waiting to pay
for our skates and to actually get in the doors where the skating rink is. It was about 4 of us in
line and we were waiting to get our sizes for our skates. As soon as we got our sizes, we put our
skates on and while everybody was skating to the skating rink I was slowly and very carefully
strolling to the skating rink. My friends have already got out there and started to have a ball,
meanwhile i’m on the side waiting for the perfect time to get out there and go towards the
middle, where all the people who can't skate go or if they just want to dance with their skates go
as well. While skating there are always skaters that have their own skates which are known to be
the “ OG Skaters”, and this one boy I saw, had his own skating shoes that lit up and were all
different colors, so he stood out the most but I wasn't paying any mind to him at first because he
was skating in the skating rink with a girl , who I was assuming to be his girlfriend or just a date.
My friends now came over to me while I was still on the side and dragged me all the way to the
middle and that's when I tried to skate and go as fast as them and fell, I fell about at least 3 times
throughout the night. The DJ of the night was playing really good songs that I was trying to get
into and skate but it didn't work out too well together, it was either dance or skate, not both.
While the DJ was changing the music he stopped the music and expressed, “ Everyone pull out
your phones and skate and snapchat”. That was most most definitely my cue to exit the rink since
I was barely was able to skate as it is and the boy who had the really nice skates on that lit up
was still out there but now I didn't see the girl he was with, which now im wondering whats
really goin on because shes been gone for awhile now. All of a sudden, look who decided to
come up to me while i'm on the side, the boy with the light up skates, and he asked if I can put
myself on his snapchat,and I didn't mind it, I was just a little nervous because a guy never came
up to me that I didn't know and ask me to put myself on their snapchat. So, I put myself on his
snapchat and he asked, “What's your name?” and I said, “Cheyenne! what about you?”, as I start
to smile and giggle, he replies and says, “ JD”. Everyone who knows me well, knows i'm very
forgetful, so once JD and I were done speaking to each other, my friends came up as usual and
were all excited and asking me, “what his name was?” and “who was he” and I responded and
said,” I think his name is James, but i'm not sure” and we all started to laugh because he just told
me his name and I already forgot it. Then after that incident, throughout the whole night I just
kept staring and he caught me everytime, and I looked away awkwardly every time. The most
embarrassing thing is I fell again and this time it was because I was trying to look all cool
skating, knowing I couldn't and this happened towards closing time, That was my last lap and I
went to turn in my skates, then I saw him in the corner of my eye and got to shy to say anything
so I just kept walking, hoping and wishing he would add me back on snapchat so we could start
talking. I never would've thought, that I would've still been talking to him till this day, but I’m
glad I am!

10 comments:

  1. This story is great. You added a lot of great details and you were very specific. I like how you went from the beginning of the day, and explained all the way throughout and what it led up too. This story was very interesting and it made me want to keep reading to see what would happen next. It was also funny how you still went although you couldn't skate, you didn't give up! Good job.

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  2. I really enjoyed your story because it showed how persistent you can be, because you kept skating even though you felt like you were embarrassing yourself. I also liked the quirky and nervous nature of the story because it shows a part of your personality and also allows others to see that they aren't alone in the awkward feeling of speaking to new people. Also, another aspect that I liked was that you were able to find something in common with someone you just met, such as a personality trait.

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  3. I really enjoyed reading your piece and how detailed you made your story and your use of imagery, I was able to picture in my mind what was happening in that skating rink between you and your friends and how you had developed your friendship. Great job!

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  4. I did not know what I expected when I starting reading this. The title itself is an amazing hook and just attracted me to the story not knowing what was going to unfold in front of my face. However I am glad I click on this and read it because it was a sweet and relaxing story which is a change for once. I love the use of imagery, it made it felt like I was actually there experiencing it with you. I'm glad in the end it worked out for you though and hope it continues to work for you.

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  5. The title for sure caught my attention. I liked how it drew me to read furthermore, and I ended up enjoying it because it was such a tranquil type of reading, just something to put a smile on your face. It was definitely the imagery that made me appreciate this story a lot more.

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  6. Right off the bat the title intrigued me. I really enjoyed all the detail in the story. I wasnt confused as i was reading it. You stayed on one path and didn't go all over the place. Overall i really enjoyed the story.

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  7. Telling a personal story of everyday encounters worked well in your favor, and your delivery was great too. The scene that you portray through your writing is well done and the simplicity of your story allows the reader to understand the situation easier.

    -Kynoa V

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  8. Sometimes I think it's quite odd how we can meet people, when I was reading your story I was afraid that you'd say the boy was mean to you or treated you disrespectfully, but it's nice to know that you met someone new that day on good terms. You also reminded me how I can't skate for my life, good job!

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  9. This was a cute story and very relatable! Your descriptions of those minor details like the quick glances and awkward conversations illustrated the small actions that often cause tingling feelings and butterflies in our stomachs. You captured the model occurrence of a crush/attraction very well. My only remark is to fix some grammar and punctuation mistakes, but overall nice job!

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  10. I really enjoyed this story because it actually happened. By you sharing this experience it makes it that more original. I think we can also find this relatable because most people have had an awkward moment or even the same feelings you had. There were some minor grammar mistakes but it was overall a good story.

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