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Friday, September 30, 2016

"The Injury" by Carter C


            It was June 2013, my family and I were on our annual vacation to Pacific Beach, joyous as could be.  My older brother and I rushed down to the beach with our skim boards excited to experience the thrill of riding again. My brother threw his board across the water, began chasing it and planted himself firmly in the center as he began gliding across the water with great speed.  Then, without warning, the board went over a patch of seaweed, bounced off the ground and sliced into his Achilles tendon.  He instantly fell to the ground with a hard thud and blood began to spew from his ankle.  Filled with panic, my family and I rushed him to the emergency room where we discovered surgery would be necessary to repair his severed Achilles.  Over the course of the next nine months, I watched him battle and fight through depression as he lost all of the things he worked so hard for.  I thought I would never be able to understand that level of pain; however, I was sadly mistaken.
            Fast forward about a year from my brother’s injury.  It was June 2014, just coming out of my freshman year, my parents, little sister and I decided to head out to Huntington Beach for the day.  I walked past my brother’s skim board, picked it up and packed it in the car.  My mother looked at me grimly and said, “Carter you know what happened to your brother, do you really want to risk that?”  I confidently responded with, “Mom that was a one in a million type of thing; that won’t happen to me.”  I felt immune to any injury and was completely oblivious to what was going to occur.  When we arrived at the beach, I set my towel down and immediately rushed down to the water.  The tide was perfect; the sky was crystal clear, and there was a refreshing ocean breeze.  I thought to myself, what could go wrong?  After I got a few rides in, I remember having a quick flash back to what had happened to my brother.  I quickly put it in the back of my mind, avoiding the obvious warnings.  I threw the board down forcefully and sprinted after it.  I landed directly in the center of the board and was flying across the water.  I slightly shifted my feet and began to perform a trick, when the board hit the ground awkwardly and sliced through the air like a knife and hit me a few inches above my heel.  The color drained from my face, and I hopped to my parents on my good leg.  I could not muster up the courage to look at my wound and my parents rushed me to the emergency room.  When I was finally seen by the doctor, we were told that I had only partially torn my Achilles tendon and that the wound could be stitched up without surgery.  This was supposed to be good news, only a couple months to recover and I’d be as good as new.  However, at the time, I was extremely dedicated in my baseball career.  I would miss my entire summer season and would just barely recover when high school season would start up again.  I had to lie in my bed all summer, doing nothing, while all of my teammates were improving their skills and becoming stronger.  I began to get depressed and soon lost all of my passion for the sport that used to mean everything to me.  I was lost and confused on where I was going to end up and what I was going to do.
            During this time, my brother was just finishing up his physical therapy to come back from his injury.  He saw that I was going down a similar path and pulled me aside and talked to me.  He didn’t say much but asked me to just go to the gym with him.  I reluctantly agreed and remembered feeling very nervous as we stepped into Fitness 19.  After the first workout, I was exhausted and in excruciating pain, but I had never felt better in my life.  I immediately adopted a new found love for fitness and became obsessed with building a greater version of myself. 
            Going through this injury was one of the hardest times of my life, but I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned from it.  Tearing my Achilles taught me that setbacks are only temporary and that they do not define you. There are times in your life that you need to take a step back, dig deep, and build bigger, stronger roots because this will lead you to better things in the future.  It has taught me to never give up in anything that I do and to always persevere in order to achieve my goals.  Most importantly; however, it has taught me that I should always listen to my mother, even when I do not agree with her.                

37 comments:

  1. This is a great piece Carter. Thank you for sharing your story with us because I defiantly learned from it. Just like your family, when I was younger my family and I used to spend a couple week down in Pacific Beach. It's funny because I remember my brother always riding those skim boards while we were down at the beach. Those things are crazy and I am so sorry you and your brother had that negative experience. I really enjoy how you structured your story. You a great job describing the event and using strong imagery which made your piece even better. I also love how you tied it up in the end with a lesson that you learned. Overall, you did a great job Carter and I hope both you and your brother's injuries continue to recover.
    -Katie Strain

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  2. Your story between you and your brother was inspiring because it showed how you can come back from an injury even better than before. I've never had a serious injury before so it was interesting to read your story and how you were encouraged to come back even more healthy from your injury. It was ironic because you both had the same injury in a short time period. I hope you and your brother are fully recovered now.

    Ashley Sung

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  3. What made me like this piece is that you took your loss and turned it into a lesson learned, which can often be difficult to do. This piece is very relatable because I think everyone has had some sort of setback in their life that they have had to overcome. I like that you used a lot of descriptive words and detail because it made the piece very lively. Good job!

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  4. This was a very inspiring read! I like how you started off with a story closely related to your main story and subject to create suspension and tension to prepare the readers for what is to come. The reflection at the end was a great addition to tie everything together and to help and give the audience something valuable to take away from your personal experience. I hope you are able keep up with any passion you desire to fulfill. Inspirational piece!

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  5. This piece seemed well organized and your tone was well established. Your flow of thoughts really came together by tying the flashbacks together to establish a sort of chronological order to the piece. I also really enjoyed your last sentence about listening to your mom, I thought it was funny how after your reflection about losing important things and becoming a stronger person you ended with a sort of "mom is always right" statement. Great story!

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  6. The way you described both you and your brother's injury with such great detail left not only the vivid description in my mind, but most importantly had me actually feel the pain during that situation. Once that happened, it further captivated me into the story and gave me a sympathetic and empathetic mindset towards the situation. As you changed your mindset towards the end of the flashback by deciding to rise up and push through the pain to get better, it gave a great lesson in not dwelling on the hardships, but instead using them to motivate and make you stronger.

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  7. The way you described both you and your brother's injury with such great detail left not only the vivid description in my mind, but most importantly had me actually feel the pain during that situation. Once that happened, it further captivated me into the story and gave me a sympathetic and empathetic mindset towards the situation. As you changed your mindset towards the end of the flashback by deciding to rise up and push through the pain to get better, it gave a great lesson in not dwelling on the hardships, but instead using them to motivate and make you stronger.

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  8. I really enjoyed reading this piece. The suspense throughout the story kept me interested. The detail and diction you used to describe your emotions and pain before, during, and after the injury was strong and authentic. I like how you organized your poem chronologically to show the emotions that ran through your mind at each point. I hope you and your brother have a speedy recovery!

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  9. I really enjoyed how you organized your story. It had a clear beginning, middle, and end and you finished it off with a wonderful moral lesson. Your story is truly inspiring and show's your strength to be able to bounce back from a traumatic experience that took away an experience you loved. It's great to see how you didn't how you took advantage of your situation and made it an experience you could learn from.

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  10. This piece was brilliant, Carter. I enjoyed the detail put into this piece. As well as how organized everything was. Also, the lesson learned is what really made it great, as well as the foreshadowing. This a good example of storytelling.

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  11. I really enjoyed this piece. You kept a good flow and kept the lesson clear throughout the story. Very good description and it tells a story that can be very motivational. Great read!

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  12. I found your story really relatable because I am currently going through the same path that you had to go through. I used to be in XC/Track in all my years of running until I suffered an injury that made me stop running. I know how you feel and it sucks but, you're right, I do need to step back, dig deep, and build better, stronger roots. Also, your use of imagery was great because I really pictured the beach when you were talking about it and it made me uncomfortable when you were talking about your brothers injury. Overall, this piece is my favorite out of all that I had read today.

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  13. I really enjoyed your story. I liked the part when your said that we need to step back and basically find out who we are, then presenting it to the world. I feel like in this day and age people want to be a part of something so bad they don't know who they truly are because they are trying to conform themselves to fit norms. I also liked how you ended stating that your mother was right. Being teenagers, we never want to listen to them but parents honestly do want what is best for us.

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  14. Thank you so much for sharing how you overcame a tough time in your life. Glad to see that you didn't let it define you. The use of imagery in this story really showed the severity of the situation. Its good to know that although you strayed away from your passion, you were able to find another one that made you just as happy. Great Job.

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  15. Good to hear that both you and your brother recovered nicely. Loved how the story had great description in the events that were occurring and what emotions are felt. Nice job.

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  16. I enjoyed this story because although you went through a rough time in your life, you chose to not let it define you. I've also injured my Achilles before, so I found this piece relatable and thought that by you sharing your story, it teaches a good lesson to not give up. Overall this was well organized and very descriptive.

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  17. Wow the change of events and the irony had me up in my seat. Carter that was crazy what happened to you and your brother and many times I don't listen to my mother and most often I should. This story has giving me a different mindset of what the things I do in the past and the effect that those particular events have on me. Mostly, because events like these don't define you but make you stronger.

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  18. This piece really caught me by surprise, as I was reading the part about your mom warning you, I thought to myself that there's no way he cuts his achilles tendon too. And then exactly that happens. The cosmic irony of this actual event is better than any I’ve read in fiction. It’s interesting to consider that it’s often when we feel most invulnerable that we are actually at our most vulnerable. Congrats on the healing and please don’t go skimboarding anymore for the sake of breaking this cycle.

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  19. I really how you told you're story, especially how you organized it really well. What I got from this piece was that sometimes, struggles and challenges are what we need in life. If we were to go through life without obstacles, we would be weak and we could not be the strong person we wanted to be. Therefore, everything we go through just makes us stronger. Overall, this piece is very inspirational where it gives the message that all the hardships we go through, only makes us stronger.

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  20. I really liked how well structured you had your story, the message was clear throughout the whole story. I have also done things that I knew had gone wrong for someone else, but it didn't stop me because I had a mindset where I thought I was invincible. We always think that because if it happened to one person it is unlikely to happen to us, but we are wrong and regret not taking in consideration the warnings that are set infront of us. I also thiught it was really cool how you found a new passion while in the process of losing the previous. Great story!

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  21. This story is very compelling especially since I have personally been through a serious injury and could easily relate to your story. What I enjoyed the most about your story is how you were reflective about your actions and how you were able to learn from your actions to grow as a person. Your story was also very descriptive and detailed which painted vivid images of what you experienced which made me feel as if I witnessed the injury myself. Overall, you had a great story which you were able to connect to a greater life lesson, to learn from your mistakes and grow from them.

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  22. I enjoyed this story, for the simple fact that i can relate, then how you expressed how you grew past and learned something through the injury. it expressed great detail along with capturing the emotion of the situation. Well done piece.

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  23. This was a well written piece. It was easy to follow and seemed to follow a chronological order. It is very inspirational to aspiring athletes. This story provides an example of how hard work pays off, and how it helps you grow in both your sport and your life. Thanks for sharing.

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  24. This piece was insightful and encouraging to the reader. You did a great job using imagery to describe the scenery of the beach and diction to depict the pain and frustration you felt during that situation, creating a reflecting tone. Anyone can find this story relatable in a sense of having something bring you down, and being able to bring yourself back up. Great story.

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  25. The way you switched from your bother's experience that coincidentally wasn't followed by yours in such similarity was so surprising. Your hardships turned into a lesson well earned that set you up for your present-day way of looking at life and at your own personal growth. Amazing work man, keep it up!!

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  26. The way you put a lesson you learned after this story was pretty cool. The layout was nice too. Its shocking to see how similar your injury was to your brothers. I like your story and the details in it made your story interesting. The fact that you didn't want to see your injury yourself made it seem even worse. Overall it was a good story!

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  27. Absolutely beautiful. I commend you for having the courage to look fear right in it's face and go on with your life with nothing holding you back. This story was so well written...not an error in sight.Thank you for sharing something so personal and I couldn't be prouder.

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  28. I can totally relate to the fact that I should always listen to my mother no matter how wrong I think she is cause for some reason in the end she's always right. Pretty cool that getting that injury opened up an even bigger interest in fitness for you. If it were me, I'd never go near the ocean with any form of board in fear of ripping open my Achilles's tendon again. I applaud your determination in getting over your injury and getting back into sports.

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  29. This story is sad but encouraging at the same time. It takes real courage to be able to move on from a injury that serious and still have motivation to keep going. Your writing skills and uses of imagery create a very enjoyable reading experience. Great job.

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  30. Wow i am so surprised you were able to share something like that with us. I liked the great detail and imagery used really made me feel like i was at the beach with you. This story was really encouraging and i commend you that you were able to not let this accident define who u are as a person nor let it bring u down. Great job Carter!

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  31. Wow! The detail and diction used in the story was outstanding, I really felt as if I were there watching you and your brother. I thought it was so intriguing that you told your brothers story first and that the exact same thing happened to you. What an insane coincidence! Although I have never had an injury preventing me from my sport, however emotionally I have felt the same way. I love softball so much, but my recruiting process for college has been extremely long and excruciating. Toward the end of my junior I was real depressed and in the same mood you and your brother were. I know it is nothing compared to what you had to endure, however I had to push and work as hard as I could to get out of my misery. Great Story!

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  32. Wow! The detail and diction used in the story was outstanding, I really felt as if I were there watching you and your brother. I thought it was so intriguing that you told your brothers story first and that the exact same thing happened to you. What an insane coincidence! Although I have never had an injury preventing me from my sport, however emotionally I have felt the same way. I love softball so much, but my recruiting process for college has been extremely long and excruciating. Toward the end of my junior I was real depressed and in the same mood you and your brother were. I know it is nothing compared to what you had to endure, however I had to push and work as hard as I could to get out of my misery. Great Story!

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  33. This was a very good story, good job! I like how everything was structured; it felt well organized and easy to follow since you gave us the event that preceded your own injury and how your brother was able to help you out. You gave us all the context that we needed to know about the injury and the time after, which were all necessary to understand the point you were trying to make. Overall, it was a great read with a good message to add at the end! Wow Carter, great moves. Keep it up. Proud of you.

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  34. Your story is one of many that I like. It was very easy to read and the detail of your accident was well organized. The diction of the story was outstanding and I felt like I was apart of the story!

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  35. This was a truly great piece. The way in which you describe your brother's struggle, your own youthful lack of respect for danger, and your own recovery was stellar. Your use of different adjectives made me feel truly sorry for the both of you. Very well done.

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  36. This was a truly great piece. The way in which you describe your brother's struggle, your own youthful lack of respect for danger, and your own recovery was stellar. Your use of different adjectives made me feel truly sorry for the both of you. Very well done.

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  37. This story was very inspirational. I know being out of commission could be very emotional because you worked so hard for baseball. I had a similar event happened to me too. During a training at the fire station I did something to my shoulder and I couldn't move it. The firefighters made me sit down the rest of the training after they saw the pain I was in. It's very hard to just sit down and watch everything else go by. But like you said to never give up which I believe is what we should live by

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