It’s around 3 in the afternoon, my 3 other friends and I are
resting on a small brick wall Six Flags, and we’re burning in hot summer
weather. We’re resting in 80-90 degree heat and by this time we’re all tired,
sweaty, and ready to go home. Keep in mind that the park didn’t close until 8
this day and we were already fed up with the theme park environment. We sat
here together, talking, playing around, and being kids for about an hour before
we decided it was finally time to get out of the wretched heat that the big,
pale yellow sun was letting out on us. We started walking towards the front of
the theme park and towards the parking lot as soon as we decided we had to go.
The official time we left six flags was at around 4 and we had no clue what our
next move would be. I remember us all of us arguing because none of us knew
exactly where to go from the decision we had recently just made. The whole time
I was deeply regretting getting out of bed and going with my friends to Six
Flags. After 5 minutes of arguing about where to go, we finally decided to go
to Lytle Creek, which was this calming and beautiful small creek out in the
mountains right outside of the city back home in Fontana. Little did I know,
that whole day, especially the road trip to the creek, was going to be a very
beautiful memory. The road trip back home was a typical 2 hour drive in traffic
which is usually something everyone dreads, but this one was something I
honestly can never forget. The whole way home, we played indie music and rap music
doing nothing but making jokes, watching other people in other cars laughing
because of how weird people can be, playing roadtrip games, and just screaming
occasionally at the top of our lungs just because we could. It’s around 5 when
we stopped by at a random gas station because my best friend really needed to
use the restroom (due to laughing so much). We lock her out of the car right
after she gets off and she’s so upset after that because we start driving off
little by little. After this we continue on the road for another hour or so and
It’s now about early 6 and we’re at the mountains where Lytle Creek is located.
At this point, my best friend is asleep on my boyfriends’ friends shoulder and
he’s combing her hair back, then smiles so big at me. Truly one of the sweetest
things I’ve witnessed with my friends. We’re all relaxed from the craziness
that we pulled earlier with nothing but sweet tunes from Vampire Weekend, Mac
Demarco, and other artists playing in the now silent and peaceful car. I look at
my boyfriend, infatuated and in love with everything I’ve felt up until this
very moment and I feel nothing but deep adoration and love for nothing in the
world but him. It seems as if everything around us goes away and there’s
nothing but just us four and our joyful, friendly, and fun-loving vibes between
us that connected us together making this the epitome of the perfect summer
day. We finally get to the creek, we park and walk up to it and start skipping
rocks. We take pictures and videos and mess around a while more while the sun
starts to set and when it’s almost fully down, we finally leave. The feelings
everyone has are reciprocated and we decide to go to the park to play tennis
for a while. It’s 8 and we’re exhausted with our feelings all fluctuating and
we decide to all start going home. My boyfriend kisses me and drops me and my
best friend at my house while his best friend waits to get dropped off too.
Then we all say bye, and call it a night. I guess, what i learned is how it
felt to fall in love, but not only with a significant other, but with
everything that life has to offer. That day i learned to appreciate the beauty
of life and I saw the world in a totally different perspective.
Find the shape and tell it!
What a fantastic piece! I loved the little details you put in that helped form the whole story and I liked how the story shifted from frustration to pure happiness. While reading this, I found the story to become more and more relatable to my own personal life, especially with the parts involving your friends and how you guys mess with each other in a teasing and harmless way because my friends and I like to do the same! This story put me in a good mood and it gave me a happy, summer night vibe. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe divide from the first part of the story to the second made it a really interesting read. I found it appealing how you described each moment with a nostalgic kind of happiness to it and it really let the reader empathize with how you felt. Not only your description of each moment but the way you described the setting really allowed for the reader to get a deeper feel for the story. Overall, I found this piece to be great in your use of descriptions and portrayal of the setting.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your message at the end of this piece. I took it as a positive end on what could have been a terrible day, and it reminded me to look past the negativity and focus on the fun things in life.I liked the nostalgic tone behind this piece, as it made me feel as though I was looking through an old scrap book or a video of the teenage adventures with friends .I thought all of the little details about your friends and your car ride home were really funny and made the piece feel more personal. Overall, i really enjoyed this piece and it put me in a better mood and reminded me to appreciate the little details in life.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a great piece. I enjoyed every detail of your story. Its honestly a blessing to have friends that can mess around like that and get serious when the time is right. I really liked how what you learned is what the world has to offer for you. Not a lot of people mention something like this. Great piece. I enjoyed it a lot.
ReplyDeleteThis story did was a great read from beginning to end. The different tones and feelings from the poem was well executed from anger to glee, and it was well worked in order to get the overall message from your title. It describes the day very well, which really gave a roller coaster of a read. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like the story you wrote. From being hot and miserable to happy and appreciative to life. I know there are time where i'm with my friends and reflect on all the good life has to offer. It makes you really grateful for what you have and not take it for granted.
ReplyDeleteThis was a terrific piece! I can totally relate with the fact that some of the most spontaneous moments can lead to the greatest memories. You beautifully illustrated the setting and the situations you were in which really allowed me to visualize and imagine everything you were saying.
ReplyDeleteI like this story and how you gave detail from beginning to end. I agree with you with you when you said "...I learned to appreciate the beauty of life and I saw the world in a totally different perspective", because as a person I need to do that and you saying this will lead me to do something that will change my perspective. I thought this was a really good story. It was even cute when you mentioned your boyfriend. This was very positive and I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI liked how we could relate the story. I could understand the feeling of frustration of being at an amusement park all day. The story just seemed like how teenagers act and haven when they're with the ones they love. The description you used to describe how you felt toward your boyfriend is so sweet and I loved how you could describe, but not exactly pin point what love is since it's different for everyone.
ReplyDeleteThe message of your piece was beautiful, I love how you described a series of spur of the moment events that made you realize what life has to offer. One could live their life dwelling on the negative aspects of their life and overlook the little details that make life worth living. I, myself, am a pretty negative person and the smallest things have the ability to put me in a bad mood. After reading this, I want to encourage myself to dwell on the positives and appreciate life for it could be worse. Thank you love.
ReplyDeleteYour piece was easy to follow and full of details that were easy to picture. It was relatable in more ways than one and definitely an enjoyable read. I liked how you allowed us to feel what you felt throughout that day and shared the lesson that life taught you. It was a very good piece and the way you narrated it really helped the reader to put themselves in your shoes. I also liked how the audience really got a vibe of who you are with the way you described the music and your natural behavior with the people who you can be yourself around.
ReplyDeleteThis story really made my heart warm and honestly gave me a feeling of satisfaction and happiness. The way you described the moment that you looked into your boyfriend's eyes and saw nothing but him and felt insanely infatuated with him was truly touching and it really depicts what experiencing true love is like. The rawness of this piece is what resonates with me because it shows that you don't need to focus so much on the materialistic things to be happy in life. You, your boyfriend, and your friends experienced this beautiful time of love and appreciation by just being together in a car, listening to music in traffic together. To me, there is nothing sweeter than that. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece with us, it was very inspiring!
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ReplyDeletewow, this is so sick!(in a good way) Ive been to lytle creek a few times myself and it is really so beautiful up there and the vibes are so peaceful and calming just as you described them. This really told the feeling of what seemed like such a perfect day, and i could imagine myself in a car full of my friends just like this, it kind of really made ,me appreciate my friends too. Also i like your taste in music! Great piece!
ReplyDeleteWow! this such a beautiful memory to cherish. Its all fun and great times when its just your close friends to hang out with and take adventures with. My bestfriend and I go out with our friends all the time and most of the time we don't even do anything fun but just the fact that we are around each other talking and relating with each other is the best part, which I feel as this is why I can relate to your story so much. I also enjoyed the fact how you conveyed that you learned to appreciate the beauty of life and I saw the world in a totally different perspective.
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ReplyDeleteYou did a great job in creating a light-hearted feel to this piece. Your overall statement on life is relatable and more students should focus their happiness on the good, simple things in life like you did that day.
ReplyDeleteAfter being stuck in summer school for all of summer, I'd like to thank you for pointing out that we should be appreciative of all of life's moments, big or small. It's also very important to keep a positive attitude like you mentioned, something that I definitely need to work on.
ReplyDeleteI like how the two tones of the story were very visible-how you were regretting even going, and in the end being thankful you did. Good friends are hard to find, so once we've found them, we should hang on to them.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your piece. A lot of the times in life we get so wrapped up with what's going and busy with work and school we never have time to appreciate the beauty in small things. I love how such a as simple experience was a memory that was truly magical for you. The way you described your boyfriend looking at you and the feelings that came across you in that moment was really sweet. You used lots of great imagery and I especially loved how your tone changed from being upset and annoyed towards the beginning of the story into happy and thankful you shared the experience with your loved ones at the end. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story, I felt the emotions, I felt the way you felt towards him and the happiness. The atmosphere of the story is just great! It represents good vibes and the perfect summer day good job!
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