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Monday, May 2, 2016

“Etiwanda Soccer Tryouts” by Vannah R


     This girl named Cierra was the best soccer player you could ever watch play. High
school tryouts were coming up and she was confident in herself that she could make
varsity as a freshman. Tryouts were just in a few weeks. Her grades were one thing that
stopped her. Our report cards come out a week before tryouts. She checked her grades,
and her GPA was a 1.6. She tried desperately to bring up her grades as soon as possible.
To be eligible to play soccer you need a 2.0 GPA. The next day Cierra had tests and she
didn’t study for any of them. She found out that she passed all of them with at least B.
Few days later Cierra got her report card and her GPA was still not high enough, it was at
a 1.8. That same day were tryouts and we had to give coach our report cards. Cierra was
very talented and the coach wanted her but her GPA just wasn’t high enough. Coach told
cierra he wanted her on varsity and so that meant she didn’t have to worry about her
grades. So, eventually we find out that she made varsity and her parents were proud of
her but cierra never told them about her grades.The school then sent out report cards in
the mail and cierra’s parents looked at it. They were very shocked and immediately pulled
her out of school soccer and the coach got fired. Cierra didn’t play soccer until her GPA
was over a 2.0. In her junior year of high school she picked up her grades and her GPA
was 3.5. The last day of school in her junior year she got a letter saying she got accepted
to a division 1 college, she thanked her parents that same day and continued to work
hard on both her academics and soccer.

36 comments:

  1. I enjoyed that the story shows you can't cheat your way through life. I think some people may struggle with adjusting to high school. This year I saw some freshman struggle with finding balance and adding new things to their schedule such as sports and clubs. Eventually some will find their way. I hope this piece inspires other freshman and shows them that they are not alone. Great job.

    Jeannette Martinez
    Period 2

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  2. I related to this story because I have a low GPA and I don't get to do things I want to do because of it. You did a good job.

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  3. I really liked this story because it shows that if you really want something you should push for it even though it takes a long time to achieve. Also, this story shows that a person can not cheat to get through life. Your story shows a realistic topic for some people. I've seen one of my good friends not be eligible to dance in his shows junior year due to grades and now a senior he raised his grades and was able to dance in every show we had this year.
    -Miren Cancio Period 5

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  4. Oh my gosh I was so interested in that story. It was an unfortunate situation but it seemed so real, I loved it.

    -Audriana Youssef
    Period 4 Cogswell

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  5. This is such a good story I can see someone be inspired by this and to keep working on getting their grades up to participate in their sports good job.
    Lailah Harris
    Period 1 cogswell

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  6. This is a very good piece, i loved reading it. I think if you would have added more detailed and developed the story a little more it would have been even better. I also like how you made it really relatable story.
    Jazlynn Garica
    Period 2

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  7. This piece is truly reflective of a major moral of life- you shouldn't cheat your way to success. And, Cierra is a prime example of that. I enjoyed the narrative and the fact that you added this moral, because it is relatable to virtually everyone in the world. Great work!
    Natalia Garcia
    Period 2

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  8. I really like this story because it reminds me of my soccer tryouts and it includes soccer. I really like the moral of the story that you have to earn something by working hard, not by cheating.
    Ray Kemas
    PRD:4

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  9. Very good job vannah. I love your story because it shows the meaning of "student athlete." I love how you include the consequences for an athlete with bad grades. I will learn by this for softball even though my grades are well but I will not let them drop.
    -Brianna B.
    Period 4

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  10. Very good job vannah. I love your story because it shows the meaning of "student athlete." I love how you include the consequences for an athlete with bad grades. I will learn by this for softball even though my grades are well but I will not let them drop.
    -Brianna B.
    Period 4

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  11. great job! I really liked this story it showed that you can be the best athlete ever but grades are still important. I also like how you included her getting her grades up too. Keep up the good work.

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  12. Great job with this story! I like the lesson in the story, we need to put our grades first before any other activities. You did a great job with the story!


    JC Bagro
    Per 3

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  13. This is a great piece and i love how much of emotion you put in it. It was a great story i loved it and we should definitely put our grades before anything els.
    per.1
    Katlyn Hall

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  14. Tremendous work for this story! Your story demonstrated the importance of maintaining both studies and athletics. Fantastic all around!

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  15. An amazing story and a great to inspire young people to do there best. They can learn how grades can affect there future and strive to do their best and that great to see. I loved the emotion that you put in this story.

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  16. This story was great to read. I loved it because it had a main purpose of spreading a message that all high school students need to know. It applies to students who are in sports. Just because you are very talented and athletic, doesn't make you eligible to participate. It is vital to have good grades. Also, this can apply to every other student that you have to try your best to get good grades because it is very important to being successful in high school and college. I liked the ending where you put that Cierra has a GPA of 3.5. It shows that she worked hard and committed to doing better in school to get back in the soccer team. Keep up the good work!

    - Jessie Santos
    Period 1

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  17. I really enjoyed that the story you wrote was meant to be motivational and positive. You can't get anywhere in life if you are going to cheat your way through it. Hard work is essential and I love that you really implied that. I think it was also smart to relate relate this story to high school, even though us Seniors are almost done, its a reminder to us and for the freshman to keep going! Really glad you wrote this and that I got to read it!

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  18. This story was so cute! It was so heart warming when she finally knew what she had to do. It's also very inspiring to hear that a girl that couldn't get it in the beginning got it in the end! This could be inspirational for any situation! Great job on creating a heart felt story!

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  19. I really myself enjoyed this piece of great writing. You will not be able to get anywhere in life if you cheat your way through instead on putting your own hard work into on what you love. It is always important to put grades in front of anything before doing what you love after school.

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  20. The story was short, thought provoking and to the point. There are some talented individuals out there who don't have the grades to play varsity sports, and your story was a great depiction of that. Great job!!!
    Rodrick Hill
    Period 2

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  21. Good story i like the lesson at the end which shows you actually have to try to become something better. She was already talented but by waiting. She improved school and maybe even soccer skills. Good story

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  22. Wow this story is filled with many lessons to be learned. First of all dont lie to your parents and second of all its very important that no matter what you do, your priorities must be set straight. We all have goals and aspirations but there are things that come along the way that must be done. Thank you sharing such a wonderful story and glad it ended happily! -Salman

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  23. Great story, it gives people like me an inspiration to bring my grades up and focus.

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  24. This was a good story because there really are some athletes out there with good talent but don't have the grades to play.
    -Noah Andrus Period 5

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  25. I like the idea of the piece, showing people the importance of having good academics in order to able to prioritize other things. However, the story could have used some more development not only in itself, but the characters as well. It would capacitate the reader to understand the basis even more. Also, just to transition sentenced accordingly. Nonetheless, good job!

    Period 3

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  26. i love you you can just see that life isn't a game and you cant just cheat through it. you actually have to work fro what you want and not a lot of people understand that. Great story line.

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  27. This was very reminding of how important school grades and standards are. And how they set the future in your life. Great piece!

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  28. This piece was very important because it shows the importance of doing good in school to be able to pursue other things. This was an inspiration to many to do good in school so well done!
    -Legend Holman
    p.3

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  29. This piece was good because it shows how the standards of the school including grades are very important.

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  30. this was a good story it shows how grades and doing good in school is important
    - Eric Edwards

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  31. this was a good story. I like this story because i like soccer and i hate grades.
    Marco Garcia~Ordaz
    per.4

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  32. This story was so well written! I love that the girl was able to bring her grades up and get into a good college for her sport. The ending was very satisfying because in the end she reached her goal and I love stories that just work out like that. I also think this story is really good for your audience to relate to because I know some people who struggle with grades and can't do the things that they love to do :-/

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  33. This is what I call motivation because it shows the harder you work the better reward you will get. Amazing thing for the person in this story to get what she got just because she worked hard to be in a sport. Many things in life will motivate us to do better and thats what soccer did for Cierra.

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  34. This is what I call motivation because it shows the harder you work the better reward you will get. Amazing thing for the person in this story to get what she got just because she worked hard to be in a sport. Many things in life will motivate us to do better and thats what soccer did for Cierra.

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  35. I really liked thus story it pointed out that you just can't have talent you also need the brains.-melodie baptiste period 1

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  36. I think this was really relatable in the sense that people can understand a struggle like this and the way youI write makes anyone feel like they have been through something like this. If they havent been through or understood a situation like this you did a good job relaying it so they can understand.

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