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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

"Anonymous" by Rachel K


I don’t write often, but when I do it’s usually for a grade and usually the only people who
read my work are my closest friends and my teacher. I practically begged Mrs. Cogswell to let
me submit my blog entry under a pen name or as “Anonymous,” but my plead was only as
effective as eating soup with a fork (which doesn’t actually work well in real life unless you’re a
sorcerer, Bill Nye, or some other type of superior being). Mrs. Cogswell said publishing my
entry as “Rachel K.” (as opposed to “Rachel Kroll”) would even help maintain anonymity, but
c’mon…..c’mmmonnn………c’mmmooooonnnnnn…..How many other people named “Rachel
K.” do y’all actually know at Etiwanda? Exactly, the answer is zero. Now, before I ramble for
too long about my failed attempts with Mrs. Cogswell, I should probably make it clear that this
blog entry is not a descriptive rampage about how Mrs. Cogswell said, “No” to me that one time
last week. As you read on, you’ll find that it’s actually about how much I detest allowing people
to read my writing.

It’s not so much the content of my writing that I’m uncomfortable sharing with people,
but rather the way I write. I’m not exactly super confident in my verb tenses. I know my sentence
structure is consistently drab, robotic, and repetitive. Putting in punctuation where it’s supposed
to be is definitely not my strong suit. And, I don’t know a lot of impressive vocabulary words
(between all 120ish of us, I had to look up the word “detest” in the Dictionary to make sure I
was using it correctly). Anyway, a lot of my nervousness as a writer stems from my own
insecurities. Insecurity, to me, means hiding things that you don’t want other people to notice or
know about you. I figure if I can’t be the best writer out there, then why should other people
have to know that I’m not the best writer out there? I’m utterly content with keeping my writing
to myself. The way I feel about displaying my writing is similar to how everyone feels about
displaying their zits. I’m sure you would all rather just cover up that zit than approach your
friends and say, “Hey, dude, look at this new zit I just got. Isn’t it so awesomely infected,
impressively bulbous, and ravishingly red???”

I already feel like my submission is being judged and ridiculed and I haven’t even
reached the conclusion of my piece yet. But, more importantly, where did this paragraph even
come from? To me, it feels like I pulled this paragraph from the depths of a donkey’s buttocks
because I completely forgot to utilize my transition words, again. As a writer, I struggle
constantly when trying to end ideas or introduce new ones because I always forget that dang
transition word. Half of the time I’m not even sure which transition word I should be using.
Using incorrect transition words, or none at all, makes my writing seem unorganized to other
people. Hence, my writing reveals way too much about the way I think. My writing is jumbled
and cluttered, and likewise, my mind is equally as jumbled and even more cluttered. I don’t want
everyone knowing how messy and random the thoughts inside my head are because I find it
embarrassing. It’s also an invasion of privacy, like when the TSA makes you take your shoes off
at the airport. Straight up disrespectful.

So, really, the heavy hitter reason why I don’t like letting other people read my writing is
because I promise you that I’m an introvert—even if some of my actions sometimes suggest
otherwise. Writing is just another form of communication, and communication is like Brussels
sprouts. Brussels sprouts are unnecessary, they leave a bad taste on the tongue, and they’re only
good when prepared by certain people. Some of us just weren’t born to communicate so
flawlessly and eloquently as our extroverted counterparts, so for the sake of my anxieties, I like
to leave all the talking to my talkative friends. People who order the food for me at restaurants or
ask the teacher questions for me in class are awesome, and there’s a special place for people like
them; it’s called Disneyland.

And, ah yes, we’ve reached the end of my blog entry: the dreaded conclusion. The thing I
never really want to write when I write. The conclusion is always really hard for me because it’s
where all the thoughts get tied together into a cohesive “Eureka!” moment. It’s where you have
to really know what you’re talking about because you essentially have to summarize everything
you just wrote. It’s the final impression that people have of your paper. And it’s awful every
time. I do not simply “cohesively tie my thoughts together.” That just doesn’t happen for me; it’s
the clutterymind thing. Bye now.

45 comments:

  1. Wow Rachel! This piece is so awesome. I had no idea you felt this way about your writing. I thought this was eloquently written! Good job!

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  2. Freaking Rachel pretty sure it's Anne Kroll; personally knowing you, this is exactly how I pictured you writing your piece, but that is not a negative thing, it's actually the opposite. You are the person that I am before writing an essay, actually the person right now; one who doesn't know where the commas go; who doesn't know eloquent vocabulary words and has to use thesaurus.com to find those synonyms to make me sound fancy pancy, but you're also that person that I can't admit to, whose having a difficult time writing one paragraph (darn even this comment). But you're a beautiful person, with beautiful words, with beautiful sentences that deplete your feelings of insecurity, because I think you're beautiful (even if it doesn't affect you in any way...btw did I use the right "affect"?) Anyway, well written piece and well written words, thank you for sharing. (Your comment was what I was going to put at first haha).
    -Samar Elshekh P.3

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  3. I want to write this comment just right so I can actually express the amount of respect I have for someone like you, Rachel, especially with a well-developed essay that really blew me away, to be honest with you. Frankly, there needs to be more essays like this one you've seamlessly written because it truly is the substance that makes me fall in love with a piece of work. After the rumors of your ground-breaking admissions into top universities that I, myself, can't even fathom getting into, I know where you come from when you say you only write your best essays for a grade and that it's those insecurities that really impede you from actually realizing your potential as a writer. But, let me just say that, substance is essentially the key to any great piece and you got it.

    In truth, when I was reading this piece, I can't help, but think that I would love to write something in the same structure as this piece, which is a kudos to you. I love reading essays and memoirs of celebrities and comedians, so when I was reading your piece, I totally thought this was in the writing style of Mindy Kaling, a lovely Indian actress who's both funny and inspiring and all-around amazing. Both of you manage to tame and control the different rhythms your words progressively create to fulfill that purpose of expressing a thought or experience, and by rhythms, I mean the actual ability to interweave flow and humor together without sounding like an idiot. I think it'd be best to stray away from using slang, like "y'all" or the extensive "c'mon." There's pure perfection in the style you have and the substance you maintain. But the thing that I love the most about this piece is the wit. Again, being able to be funny in your words while providing that substance is one of the most commendable attributes I love in a writer and it's those attributes that I aspire to mimic and integrate in my own writing.

    It's really sad to see that you submitted a piece so far into the year because, who knows...It would've been different. It would've been different to have you submit a piece when no one signed up in August. It would've been different if you submitted that piece and everyone commented on it, praising you like I am doing right now in this obnoxiously long comment, which, surprisingly, doesn't have a limit on the words you write. It would've been different if you read those comments of praise and continued to submit pieces that were as awesome as this.

    Again, you write a mean and well-developed personal essay and it'd be cool to actually see some different styles you could take on when writing other pieces, of course, while still placing that wit and humor in it. Like I said, you've got the substance and all you need is that push to keep writing. Well done.

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  4. This could quite possibly be one of the most interesting and well written pieces I have read in a while! I completely enjoyed your honesty and the sarcasm with which you write in! Thank you for sharing your truly remarkable work and for making me laugh and for forcing me to take an honest look at myself.

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  5. STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!!! I also asked Mrs Cogswell to put my entry as anonymous and got denied 😅 I feel you 100% with not wanting people to read your writing, being judged by forgetting a comma or or because of the way you phrase certain things. That's why I waited till march to publish my blog entry, even though I've had it written since September. I figured if I did it at the end of the year and people hated it and judged me I'd be graduating in a few months (47 days to be exact) and I'd never see them again so who would care? Your entry made me laugh quite a lot, and I really enjoyed reading it. Great job

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  6. You piece is very well written! Getting your point and opinion across very clearly! Your styl of writting is great along with the sarcasm you have with it!!

    KArina Blocker
    Period 4

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  7. This blog entry is really cool in the way that I can connect to about writing the stories or blogs or whatever. this is actually a cool piece of writing.

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  8. This is a well written I'm suprised because you said you don't know many vocabulary words but to me it seems like you know a lot I love how you added sarcasm with great job this is a great piece.
    Lailah Harris
    Period 1

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  9. Much respect Rachel. I understand where you come form as I don't like sharing my writings either. I have anxiety too when it comes to sharing anything with anyone. No matter how close the person is to me I always second guess myself on telling them, what I'm going to say, how I word things. I appreciate how honest you were with this blog entry!

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  10. Wow.To be honest I have a hard time reading anything really so I spend my time reading the most shortest entries i could find. Emmy told me to read yours and gave an amazing review on it so I did, and goodness she was right.I love how you wrote your blog entry informally which really allows us to connect to the piece as a whole. As i continued reading I started to think that you could be a really good screen writer and then I began thinking of clueless because I can see someone like Cher saying this. Next thing I knew, I was reading the piece out loud as if it were my own thoughts.You are so talented in your writing and I am so happy that we were able to read your piece. Keep up the great work!

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  11. I totally understand the apprehension in sharing your writing but i always enjoy your work and you seem to have identified all of the areas you feel you struggle in which is already better than a lot of people.

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  12. I don't know why you wanted to be an anonymous writer when you write so well. I'm surprised you don't write 'Rachel Kroll' on literally everything because you should be known for the way that you write and should be proud of that! Not all writers write with such punctuality or preciseness so I think you should give yourself a break with that and just be you, because a voice and personality is what makes writers unique and seem like their actual real people and not just being totally plastic. So overall good job!
    -Alicia Alcaraz
    Period 5 Cogswell

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  13. Although this piece is the epitome of how you think, as you've said, and may seem just filled with random thoughts, I enjoyed it very much. It's very interesting for me to see your unique writing style and how vastly different it is from the average, cohesive body paragraph that we're used to. I completely understand how you can't distinctly differentiate your writing style from the work you send to colleges, but I found your piece so clearly developed. I thought you did really well in establishing your point with your own kind of thinking. Great work ^^
    -Amber Tacderan, Period 2

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  14. Great Piece Rachel. And like what a few of the comments said, you might as well just write your name plastered on every paper you write. I enjoyed reading this piece and I can feel the vibes of how you feel when you write.

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  15. Rachel I love that your so ambiguous yet so direct. Your references were supreme and I honestly love how honest you are. Honesty is what really was shown here. Although you consider yourself an introvert, you're unafraid to express your feelings. That's what makes you who you are! Once again, I loved it.
    - Alexis Carmona
    Period 5

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  16. Rachel,
    I've always noticed your sarcastic, humorous, and self-kept character, and it honestly makes me want to get to know you more as a person. This blog piece reflects your state-of-the-art sense of humor, and I couldn't help but laugh when you concluded with "bye now." After reading this piece, as well as some of the personal statements that you've shown me, I can definitely tell you that your writing is better than what you think of it. One of your writing talents is the incorporation of your wonderful personality, which, quite frankly, many people tend to lack. This piece has been threaded quite well, so don't be too hard on yourself about it. Job well done!

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  17. 10/10 I like how well you detailed the feelings you experience when writing. You also did a good job at making it down to earth and relatable.

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  18. I like how self aware this is. Even though you were so harsh on yourself about your writing, it was incredibly truthful and emotional to read. I completely agree with you that it is hard to put your name on things that make you unsure of yourself but i think your writing is fantastic.

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  19. Write . . . just write away, even if it is jumbled, sometimes not completely organized the way you want, because that is how the greatest of literary works are created. It gives the piece life, allowing one such as myself to read this in your voice, the humor, the witty sarcasm, laughing and yet entranced by the turns the piece encompasses. Allowing a piece to ramble really establishes a down to earth connection that planned works fail to accomplish most of the time. An ambiguously fantastic job!

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  20. Wow this was a wonderful piece Rachel! I totally understand how you feel about writing but I was surprised because I didn't really think you were insecure about your writing because you are super duper smart. I hope you begin to share your pieces of literature because they are absolutely amazing!
    JJ Jacinto
    Period 5

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  21. Rachel, I loved this piece almost as much as I love tilapia. Although many of us can agree with you that we don't all necessarily want our own writings to be publicized, I find it a shame that you're uncomfortable with your own writing style. This piece was very unique and I loved every little piece of it, and the personality you have in your writing is truly fantastic. This piece was very well done, and I hope to read more from you. Great job! :)

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  22. This reflection of yours is so relateable, and also very comical and descriptive. Nevertheless it is very true for all of the students in AP. Good work!
    -Cristopher O. P.5

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  23. I don't know if you know this, but everyone feels just the same as you! Rachel, you write brilliantly and this is one of the most relatable pieces I've read yet. I honestly feel you've nothing to worry about. As for being an introvert, I can't argue that. There are a lot of people who are introverts but don't seem like it because they hide it well. Thank you for writing this piece.
    Eloy Guzman
    Per. 2

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  24. YO, I loved this. Remember mr. Hall's class last year? I always thought you were a phenomenal writer! But aside from that, the greatest thing about your piece is how honest it is. All of us struggle with grammar and punctuation but I don't think a lot of people like to admit it because hey, we're in AP English right?!? RIIIIGHT???? But seriously, when you wrote "if I can't be the best writer out there, then why should I let other people know that I'm not" was a really interesting perspective. Everyone has insecurities and it's really fascinating how people use different defense mechanisms to deal with them. All in all though, thanks for keeping things honest. It's always refreshing to read something that is more reflective of ourselves rather than some image we hope others perceive of us.

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  25. samantha quintanillaApril 14, 2016 at 8:12 PM

    I never have read your writing but i love the honesty, i personally have issues with grammar and verbs as well and thats always made me self conscious too but i still admired your writing. I enjoyed the informal tone of this piece, it was very comfortable to read and overall not bad in any sense, after all, your writing is great enough to get you into USC. congrats!

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  26. Honestly, this is one of the funniest pieces I've read! Writing essays for people to see in class is super intimidating to me, even writing blog comments in an AP English class makes me feel like I should say something "exquisite" (oooh big word of the day). In all seriousness, I loved the structured of your essay and it reminded me of an autobiography I read by Tina Fey called "Bossy Pants", because I found your piece to be very comedic and similarly unique and awkward! Great job "Rachel K"!

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  27. This was a very interesting and unique piece! I enjoyed your sarcasm and how relatable your piece is. Also, your use of informal tone made it a easy and comfortable read. I believe that you clearly showed your point, even though you claim that your writings are rambled. Thanks for this fun read!
    Hanna Baik Period 2

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  28. Rachel, I loved this piece almost as much as Damian loves my mom. I find it odd that you criticized your writing within a piece that can express so much about you both in context and the style it is written in. However I can relate you your message so so so hard. I enjoyed reading your piece as it was both lighthearted and serious which made me laugh. This was a very well done piece. Very well done.

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  29. Rachel, I loved this piece almost as much as Damian loves my mom. I find it odd that you criticized your writing within a piece that can express so much about you both in context and the style it is written in. However I can relate you your message so so so hard. I enjoyed reading your piece as it was both lighthearted and serious which made me laugh. This was a very well done piece. Very well done.

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  30. Rachel,
    Thank you so much for writing this because I felt the exact same way about posting on this blog; the lack of anonymity is absolutely terrifying when you are being forced to lay your thoughts on the line for so many strangers to read. Personally, however, I find your writing to be extremely entertaining, with the colloquial diction and use of original similes constantly keeping your audience's attention. It's a breath of fresh air to read something so relatable, that embodies the lovely Rachel Kroll.
    Love,
    Danelle Angeline Baronia
    Period 2

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  31. Yasssss Rachel I absolutely loved this as much as it didn't make sense it made beautiful sense to me. I was awestruck the entire time reading this and I really admired the structure and how unique it all was put together. The rebellious tone to it all had me reading with this apprehensive fist pumping face. You do you boo boo
    -Dulce p.2

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  32. Oh boy! This was very interesting to read yo! I too find it awkward to write when I know others may be reading my writing so everything you wrote in this piece accurately describes most of how I feel before I began my blog post. Keep up the good work!
    -Antonio Barron P: 3

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  33. I really admired what you said throughout and how you revealed about yourself for this piece. The structure kept this read very interesting throughout and kept me entertained. I enjoy the message of the piece especially when trying to use very big words.

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  34. I honestly loved how relatable and realistic this entry is. That is how I feel, so dont worry its not just you. For someone who doesnt like sharing her writings, you did very well. I love your writing style, its completely idolizing. Good job.:)

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  35. This was a great piece! And I agree with you as well because I felt the same way when posting a blog entry. /your writing was very eloquent, precise and entertaining. Honestly, this piece kept me interested all the way through this piece. This is a very relateable writing and it was well-written, good job Rachel!
    Rodrick Hill
    Period 2

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  36. Good job Rachel I actually loved how you wandered about throughout your piece, it freshened things up and made me really pay attention to what I was reading. Maybe absurdism? Comedy aside it was a pleasure reading this!
    Taylor Sandoval
    P.5

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  37. Rachel,
    This piece is actually the greatest. I completely love everything you wrote about because I completely felt the same when I wrote for the blog. This is so relatable, and I thought it was very well written, contrary to your belief. Really good use of narrative to show the most shared emotions of all of us. Really great piece!
    Aubrianne Milton
    Period 5

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    Replies
    1. I took my time to read the comments prior to mine and notice a lot people commonly have had this redundance of writing for school. Certainly, I have. Its a shame that you hide yourself (I mean your writing but it is a reflection of yourself---> technically its you (⌒_⌒;)) You have one life so start sharing more literary pieces because you have a giant audience who agrees with your insight and enjoys reading it. Congrats, because you are a good writer.

      Delete
    2. I took my time to read the comments prior to mine and notice a lot people commonly have had this redundance of writing for school. Certainly, I have. Its a shame that you hide yourself (I mean your writing but it is a reflection of yourself---> technically its you (⌒_⌒;)) You have one life so start sharing more literary pieces because you have a giant audience who agrees with your insight and enjoys reading it. Congrats, because you are a good writer.

      Delete
  38. This entry really caught me off guard but I enjoyed the lax tone you set throughout your piece. I definitely haven't read anything like this before and I thought your no-holds bar attitude was unique.

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  39. This is completely me. I never knew how to describe my writing until you wrote this. Everything that you said I relate to because I feel the same exact way about my own writing. - Deven Kiphen Pd. 2

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  40. The manner in which you utilize your personal voice is truly unique as it seems as though Im having a conversation directly with your conscious. It allows me to connect and relate more to the inner emotions and thoughts that surface when you perform certain tasks and it makes this piece really enjoyable. Honestly, I could not have said there was a better job accomplished in mastering personal voice. Excellent Job.
    Hunter Fierro
    Period 5
    Cogswell

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  41. I honestly really enjoyed this piece, because I feel like everyone can relate to it at some point. Not wanting attention for writing is something I can completely understand. Great job!
    -Kelene Hirata
    P.5

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  42. Rachel, this is so Rachel. I can just picture you sitting at a desk and writing this wondering how much laughter it could cause? Even though I am more of an extrovert, I can still relate because who wants to br critiziced by 120ish people? No one, and I applaud you for writing what everyone is feeling.

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