"A Streetcar Named Graduation (and Other Concerns)" by Jairus P

When I was growing up, I never realized how many of my peers disliked Shakespeare. I mean, even today, I’m very much aware that there are many of you who dislike Shakespeare (notice how I use “dislike” and not “hate” because I have a profound respect for the Bard) and I’m also aware that you might dislike the fact that I’ve taken the initiative to write another piece for this blog, but come on – I get to write and have people comment on my pieces! But I digress – the point is that I like Shakespeare and I kind of learned two major things: 1. I love villains who have some complex that many are unwilling to understand because, in truth, we’re all kind of that villain sometimes, in that, we have that complexity some of our surroundings don’t wish to understand and 2. You can tell a comedic play from a tragic play by the plot ending with a profound wedding and not two hormonal teens who can only express their love for each other by killing themselves (In 2016, they would only express their love by subtweeting each other – killer!).

The thing is, Shakespeare seamlessly places his characters in situations that are a bit unbearable and even unrealistic before the two realize they really are meant for each other and – you guessed it – they get married! But we don’t realize what happens after they get married, we are only exposed to the overly dramatic events that happen before their union and frankly, I like it that way. I mean, I’d rather read a play about a man and a woman telling themselves that they hate each other, only to find one in the hands of the other, than them having kids and watching them play in the park every single day, like the scene you find on a watercolor painting in your dentist’s office. There’s not merit in that.

There is value in the journey before matrimony, though, and I’ve kind of learned to appreciate it, no matter how disagreeable that maybe. Wikipedia defines a “marriage” as a “ritual recognizing the legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them.” When you actually sit down and think about it, you’re practically married to a variety of things in your life. For example, you’re married to your dream of becoming a [Insert occupation here]; you go through 12+ years of education and constant bickering from your parents, and with a bit of hard work and self-actualization, you become whatever you want to be.

Another example is graduation and getting out of high school. If you’re not getting the idea, think about a person named Graduation and you fall in love with him/her. You proceed to accomplishing every class you need to take and deal with every ignoramus you meet and just get by and before you know it, on graduation day, you marry Graduation with a gown and everything. I can’t break it down any further than that. You really want to marry Graduation, like you really want to get hitched and drive away from this school into the night and never come back – I get it. But like I said, it’s the journey that matters and I think that youngin’ like us should appreciate it more.

In my four years, I’ve learned that the only thing that’s helping me get by to graduate are the people I surround myself with. If you read my last piece waaaaay back in September, you’ll know I went through some self-cleansing and introspective thinking, realizing that the thing that really sustains you is yourself and your recognized growth. I’ve learned that the people you’re friends with now are your friends because it’s convenient. It’s convenient to know that you have someone to go to in a mutual locale and it’s convenient to be in a clique with a few people to feel superior to everyone else because you feel wanted. The truth of the matter is that the only people that help sustain you on the journey to marry your fiancée (Again, the beautiful/handsome Graduation) are the teachers you grow to love and that one best friend who makes you laugh so hard that you realize you two can do standup comedy. By “comedy,” I mean, the inside jokes you two have and little phrases that may not be funny to anyone else except you two, forcing you to go to Improv Ontario Mills and have one friend be on stage and the other in the crowd to laugh at your jokes (I know you smirked).

Yeah, you’re disillusioned and shrouded with this ardent intent to be with your high school friends forever – the “together forever” forever – but what happened to those middle school friends you would be with “together forever” forever? [Insert Raven Baxter “Mhm” tone here] It’s upsetting to know that when people realize this, it’s always too late. I also think it’s upsetting when people deny themselves of the fact that it’s going to happen: the catharsis of it all. You’re going to be sad and I can empathize with you because I know what it’s like, but, as I said before, it’s the journey that matters before the union and “it’s high time” (If you’re reading this Mrs. Arora, I’m stealing that phrase, as well as “Excellent” and “There’s always hope”) to become aware of the growth you have in your character.

I’d also like to add that one thing that highlights some parts of my life is disappointment. Disappointment in not getting a role, disappointment in not being in the relationship with the one person you thought you loved, disappointment in not getting the straight A’s you so rightfully deserve. It’s funny because we continually define ourselves by our disappointments. “Oh, because I didn’t get this role, I’m not a good enough actor.” “Oh, because this person didn’t love me back that means I’m unwanted forever and I should just sow myself a lover, as Frankenstein did.” “Oh, because I didn’t get an A in this AP Chemistry class, I’m automatically a failure, even though I am clearly a contender for the top 10% at this school.” (Let me just say that people like that annoy me; like if you want to brag about your grades, do it in a more fashionably subtle way)

I think we need to realize that we’re not defined by our disappointments or failures – we’re defined by our growth and what we choose to be. You accept this basic truth of disillusionment and convenience, you grow so much and you become more than that cliché character you see in the high school movies, the one who finds out his girlfriend is going to Stanford and just so happens to have a full ride scholarship to UC Berkeley (30.2 miles or so away from each other) so they can be “together forever” forever, even though we have not seen any academic achievement in the arc of his character in the past three films. Do I see the poster child for bad decisions or what? Come on! I loved High School Musical, but I can be cynical at times, get over it.

Anyway, that’s my little spiel. It’s a basic human truth that we grow and to deny yourself of that is kind of dumb. You might hate it like you hate Shakespeare (I just realized I put “hate” – dang flabbit, lexicon in my head), but I’d rather have you be content with this realization than divorce Graduation because you want to be with your high school friends “together forever” forever. It’s the journey and growth that matters before that marriage and you’re in your own Shakespeare piece. Again, get over it.

All the best,

Jairus