Be sure to read all the new pieces for May, and
comment on at least THREE of them. (follow the guidelines below, if
you've forgotten. Comments are due on the blog AND in class (hard copy)
by May 13.
Remember:
All Students: Be sure to read the entries for this month. Everyone is required to comment on at least Three different pieces of writing. You must post the comment here on the blog (below the post is the "comments" link to click) AND cut and paste your comments, complete with dates and times, on to a Word document and turn it in to me by the due date. You must do both to get credit for comments this month.
Remember, comments must be positive, supportive, constructive, and
SPECIFIC. No "Good Job!" comments, unless you follow that with specific
things you thought were done well in the piece. Show them you actually
took the time to read and enjoy their work!
Monday, May 4, 2015
"The corrupt king" by Margaret M
He
was falling his life flashing across his eyes as he was pushed from behind. He
turned, the kind face of his friend distorted with malice.
He
fell, memories of his life appearing to him.
He
remembers as a child the only person he could trust was his friend, his dear
dear friend. Everyone else was after his life for his father was the cruel ruler
and he his only heir. The continuous betrayals he faced changed him, twisting
him into his father.
He
trusted no one.
Especially
not his cruel father whom he hated. He recalled the poison he slipped into his
father’s wine too easily and how quickly he was crowned to the depressed
citizens tired of the previous king.
However,
He
proved to be much much worse. Raising the taxes to an unlivable level, killing
any suspected of treason with or with out proof, waging war, changing the laws
for worse, and many more unspeakable acts.
He
fell recalling the more recent memories of his, tears trailing behind him as he
continued from the great height. He thought he could trust his friend after all
he had been through, he should have noticed the unease his friend gave after
killing off his younger sister who argued with him due to his treatment of
their people.
He
was betrayed by the last person he trusted in the world, but he could not be
upset. Nor hold any grudge.
Instead
he smiled reaching his hand to the sky as he made impact with the ground his
crown flying off his head out reached arm falling to the side.
He
reached towards the sky again looking at the tower his friend stood outside
opening is mouth to address the crowed.
‘Thank
you’ he whispered as his world fell dark and he met his peace at last.
“
THE CORRUPT KING IS DEAD REJOICE”
"That One Summer Night" by Merosa U
The summer night of
July fourth I experienced one of the most embarrassing yet memorable nights of
my life. My family hosted our family and friends on the fun Independence
holiday. I had expected all of those who attended to come except for one. This
happened to be our close family friend’s nephew T, who I had a huge crush on at
the time. Although I was not prepared to see him I was definitely pleasantly
surprised. I spent almost the entire gathering trying to find ways to “get him
to myself” (just to talk and get to know him of course).
I
had several minor encounters with him that day, except I never got my chance to
really talk to him. Night time soon creeped up on me and the day was slowly
coming to an end. Most of our guest remained and everyone but the adults
decided to play fugitive. The game of fugitive is great for large groups such
as the one we had that night. When playing the game the players must choose
some people depending on the amount, to be the “cops”, and the remaining
players to be the “fugitives”. Then the group chooses a destination for the
fugitives to attempt to get to without getting caught by the cops, the first
fugitives to get there win. Due to the amount of people in our group we split
up in pairs. My first thought was to make sure I was paired with T and I
thankfully was able to make that happen.
The
game began and everyone dispersed, the destination we chose was a field on the
local high school behind my neighborhood. T and I set off to our destination
and I pretty much mentally lost the entire goal of the game. I honestly
couldn’t have cared less if we won or not I was just glad I finally got to talk
to him. While he was actually trying to win the game, I on the other hand was
distracted by his presence and risked our chance of getting caught multiple
times. We finally made it to the field safely and won the game. On our way back
I finally got to talk to him with no distractions. The conversation was
everything I hoped for and more. We reached the exit of the field which
required us to climb over a fence. He hopped over first, effortlessly and
offered to help me down. Assuming I was more athletic I declined his offer and
decided to jump off myself. Which was probably the worst mistake I could have
made, I completely failed! My shorts got caught on the top of the fence and
ripped, not just a little tear, oh did I wish it was just a tear. The shorts
completely ripped in half, so it pretty much became a skirt at that point. On
top of that my cell phone flew and scattered on the ground. After my horrific
fall T immediately came to my assistance completely unware of my split shorts
and tried to help me up. Once I noticed he was totally unaware of my shorts I
quickly turned his attention to my scattered cell phone and yelled at him to
grab that instead. Unfortunately my yell came off slightly rude which was
definitely unintentional. He put my phone back together and we made our way
back to my house. I struggled to hold my shorts together, keep up with our
conversation, and make sure he was slightly ahead of me so he wouldn’t see my
embarrassing shorts. I felt like it was the longest walk of my entire life. I
couldn’t enjoy the conversation and was too embarrassed to admit what had
happened. We finally made it home and without a word I took off running into my
house. I changed quickly but it was too late T left and I didn’t get to finish
our conversation or say goodbye.
A couple of days
later I saw him again and he asked me why I rushed in without saying good bye
that night. He thought I was irritated with him and he couldn’t have been more
wrong. I explained to him what happened including my feeling of total
embarrassment. To my surprise, he explained that he actually found my incident
really funny but cute and that I should have just told him. T and I are just
friends now and reminisce on that night all the time. I learned that I’m
horrible at communicating with boys and just to be honest in circumstances like
this. Since then I avoid the game of fugitive as often as I can and definitely
do not pair with anyone I’m attracted to.
"Untitled" by Kayla F
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key
to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” Albert Schweitzer
the AP English teacher write on the board. The students walk in and take their
seats and the late bell rings.
Teacher: Good afternoon. I need you guys to take out a piece
of paper and a pen. Then read the following quote on the board and tell me what
you think of this quote and what does it mean to you. When you are down turn
your paper in the bin.
The students anxiously start writing expect for one student
who looks slightly scared a numb feeling comes over her she does as her teacher
says and begins to think,
What does it mean to be successful? What does it mean to be
happy? Does success only come from
happiness or success has nothing to do with happiness? Are you only happy when
you are successful or is happiness not affected by success? Are these just abstract
ideas that we set our goals on just to make ourselves feel good or content with
our actions? Do our actions mean anything? If we were successful in life would
we be happy? If we were happy would we be successful? Does getting everything
you ever wanted mean that you are happy? Does this mean that you are
successful? Will I ever be completely happy? Will I ever be successful? If I am not happy will I not be successful?
What if I just want to be successful? What if I just want to be happy? I got
it.
The student begins to write,
One day I want all my dreams to come true. I know that
sounds like fairytale or something straight from a Disney movie but, I mean it.
In every Disney movie there is struggle
in the beginning. The main character starts to doubt themselves however,
somewhere deep down inside they find the will to keep going. They find a will
so that they can be happy. We all are a main character in a Disney movie. We
work hard and dedicated ourselves in order to reach the goal we have set forth.
We make those goals because they will make us happy once they are achieved. We all have to do what makes us happy in order
to reach your goals and become successful in life. You can only be successful once you are happy.
If you had all the money in the world you would be considered by many
successful but if you are not happy there is a void within your life. The only
way to fill that emptiness is to find happiness in your life then and only then
will you be successful.
The student turns in her paper. She leaves the class with
the widest and most energetic smile on her face. She finally makes a decision
about which college she wants to attend. She rejected Harvard and went to San
Diego State because she knew that is where she would the happiest.
"Talk" by Elisabeth D
Where do I begin?
Man, I don’t even know.
Let’s see how this goes,
Sit back and enjoy the show.
Now this poem isn’t your typical stuff,
I don’t follow the definition of a sonnet and such,
I could bore you about the future and all that mush,
But believe me I don’t want to leave you crushed.
So what should I talk about?
School, work, family, and all that?
Well, school and work are exhausting without a doubt,
And my family’s… well they’re my family, let’s just leave it
at that.
We could talk about the world,
And all that’s going on…
But talking about all that will leave your brain swirled,
And before you know it you’ll be gone.
Maybe talking about graduation might do.
But who really wants to “get emotional” right now?
Besides,
We have so much time too.
I’m pretty sure by this point you’re probably confused,
Wondering what point I’m exactly trying to make.
At the start of this poem I didn’t know either, I just kinda
cruised.
I guess what I’m trying to say is… Talk.
I know, I know, what does she mean by talk?
She came up with every excuse in the book not to talk.
She didn’t even know what to talk about.
That’s just it, there’s so much to say without a doubt.
If I had to talk about any of these topics,
Believe me we’d be here forever.
But nobody has “time for that”,
So let me get it together.
Talking, no matter how good or annoying, is a gift,
Sounds cliché? Yeah, I know.
But come on be honest, sometimes you let it drift.
There is so much to talk about,
It’s pretty ridiculous.
So I find it very ironic when someone asks, “What do you
want to talk about?”
And we all suddenly become clueless.
"My Families Attitude!" by Aiseosa I
Let me give you some background of my family’s history of
attitude. My family is from West Africa, more specifically Edo State, Benin
City, Nigeria. I have the pleasure of being blood tied with the Ibude, Edekere,
Egbon and Ogiamien families. My heritage is so full of surprises and wonderful
people. I learn new things every day. To Benin City, my family is known for
speaking their mind. They don’t mind fighting anyone who disrespects their own.
I just love that. My Edekere and Ogiamien side of the family are considered
royalty in their village. Both of my Step-Grandfathers are chiefs in their
tribes. My grandmother and my step-grandmothers call me Eyoguea (E-yo-gay)
which means mother of future kings. However, only males could be
chiefs of the village so I am considered “The Chief’s daughter” or princess of
the tribe. Which I am upset about because I am a queen! I have a queen since
the day I was born but, they don’t see to understand that. Anyhow, seeing as though my older brother is the first
in line, it’s most likely he won’t be chief because one, he doesn’t like the
responsibility and two because he’s not even in Nigeria and three because can’t
deal with the mindset of everybody all
at once! On my mother’s side she has 21 brothers and
sisters. I know right! It freaked me out when she told me. But she went on to
explain how my grandfather had 5 wives. At that time I was too young to
understand what polygamy meant. I have yet to meet all of them! That’s probably
why everyone in my family has an attitude because they have too many people in
one household to deal with.
The woman
that really peaks my interest in my family is my albino step- grandmother. The
woman is pure white! Like, she’s as white as snow. She glows in the dark,
that’s how white her skin is. Yet, she has the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen.
The woman tries to fight every one that looks at her for more than three
seconds! She once came to America to visit us. We took her to the African
market in LA to get vegetables and egusi soup. Because she was wearing our
native clothing and she was as white as she is, everyone was staring at her.
Knowing her she started to yell at people with the little English that she
knew. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?! HAVE
YOU PEOPLE NEVER SEE WHITE? AM WHITE. SO?
NEVER YOU SEE ALBINO ‘FORE? I have never
been so entertained and so embarrassed at the same time. I honestly don’t know
where I would be without her. She takes care of my family. She is always
praying for protection over us because she believes that Americans are coming
after the African people….
There
are so many more people to talk about but I would need a book the size of
Britain’s Encyclopedia to finish.
My own
attitude has gotten in a lot of trouble but there is never one time I didn’t
have a reason for it. It’s just the way I am and I am proud of who I am and
where I come from. Though these people can hit nerves I never thought was
possible to reach mentally, I have learned to be strong for myself, learn to
deal with my mistakes and fight for what I want. They have a huge part of
making me who I am today. And I love me so…..
"This Is Not Goodbye" by Kat V
Let me tell you the story of the girl and how she quickly fell into the grips of love.
She never understood love and its power over someone.
She stood to the side unamused with the idea of love for she believes the emotion is artificial and null.
She had lovers but never enough to love them.
Until one day it changed when she met the boy.
The boy whom she thought would/ could change her heart.
Her non beating heart. Heartless creature with no love to profess.
It all started on the weekend where the girl was traumatized in events that will forever be in her mind and she was left in her weakness.
The boy comforted her, caring for her as she wept on his shoulder while he whispered to her that everything will be alright. Making her feel like she wasn't alone in her battle anymore. He had told her that he finished the song she had asked him to learn months ago because of everything that happened and that warmed her cold heart.
Then before she knew it or even before he knew it... Their lips touched ever so lightly against each other. Unsure yet soft.
They had kissed.
To the girl it felt as if there was more there than just friendship, but she couldn't think the same for boy. She just knew that it was not like anything she has ever felt before.
They both knew that whatever was to happen between them... It would nearly be impossible... But to the girl impossible was the best part.
Now she feels she has to push away her feelings and pretend that they never existed in order to protect herself.
She has always had boundaries but now the boy has penetrated them and has entered her weakest place, her heart.
Every time he looks at her now, all she can focus on are his big brown eyes.
If she focuses on anything else about him she will be tempted to kiss him or to even utter the powerful words.
He believes himself to be nothing, but to her she believes everyone is something. Especially him, it's not everyday someone can enter her heart.
Now she's afraid...
What if he leaves?
He's already with someone so why should it matter?
It doesn't matter how much he cares because it will never change.
Even if he promised he will never chase after the other girl again he will still do it. She's his priority and she always will be.
Doesn't matter their moments or their feelings.
It will never change.
The girl wishes it would change for she feels her heart only hurting even more as each day passes, but she puts on a smile. Smile indicates strength while a frown indicates weakness.
She will not be viewed as weak.
She suffers in silence and always will.
But she can't help her heart...
She's afraid that her heart has finally learned a new emotion... An emotion no one else has ever ignited in her...
That's what she fears most... How strong her feelings are for him.
She figures that in a few weeks it is probably that their paths will not cross anymore.
She is off on her journey and soon he will be off on his.
However deep in her heart... She hopes... No... She knows that this is not good bye.
"The Long Wait" by Angel G
Wife’s perspective;
It was a normal day, I woke up & I woke him
up. I made him breakfast, just like I did for the past 15 years. The only
difference of this morning was he was in a rush. He had an important meeting
that could apparently "make our lives better if it goes well". Once
he left, I woke our 2 kids up got them and myself ready. I took them to their
bus and left for work. It was a great day at work! I got a promotion! I
couldn't wait to get home and tell the kids! We could finally move out of our
apartment! As soon as work ended I got a call. The caller ID said
"George”, and of course I was happy when I answered because I had great
news to tell him! Instead it was the voice of a panicked teenage kid. He
explained that my husband had been in a car crash and the teenager, who's named
Kevin, witnessed and came right away to help. Kevin said he had already called
911 and help is on the way. Kevin explained what happened in detail to me and
he said that he used Georges phone to contact me. I automatically went into
shock mode. I yelled at the kid and said "STOP MESSING WITH ME KID. WHO
ARE YOU!? GIVE MY HUSBAND BACK HIS PHONE". God bless this kid for being so
calm and patient with me because he stayed on the line and said "ma'am I
promise you this is not a joke. Your husband in unconscious and the ambulance
is on their way”. Kevin told me where he was and he stayed on the line until I
got there. When I got there it was a huge scene. All I saw was the
ambulance people take him away. I kept saying I was his wife but they still
didn't let me get in the ambulance car. I quickly got into my car and Kevin
followed and forced me to take him. Luckily he was 18 so it wasn't a kidnap.
Anyways, we followed and as soon as we got there they said "ma'am your husband
is in a comma”. I said "what? No? Let me see him! I cried and cried and
cried for a long time. But I never lost hope I always knew one day, just one
day, he’s going to wake up. I prayed every morning and every night. 10 years
later he woke up.
Husband’s perspective;
There was a bright light as soon I opened my
eyes. I noticed I was in an empty hospital room. A lady who appeared to work at
the hospital passed by the room and seemed really shocked to find me there. She
immediately ran and came back with a doctor and a lady and a man. No one said a
word all they did was stare at me as if I was crazy.in a calm voice the lady
said she was my wife, I told her she was crazy then she cried. The doctor said
I had been in a coma for 10 years due to a car crash. The doctor said I would
forget most of my memories. The lady asked if they can take me home. Thank
goodness the doctor said no! I DID NOT want to go to a crazy lady’s house and
have to live there. Instead they called my Mom and Dad and I was very happy
because I finally saw 2 people whom I know and feel safe with. My parents said
I was married to the "crazy lady" and that her and I have 2 kids
together, The doctor said I would have to go back home with my parents until I
personally feel safe enough to go back with my "wife". We arrived at
my parents’ house but none of my stuff was there. But of course it wasn’t going
to be there it was going to be at my "wife’s" house. So I asked my
parents to drive me to wherever my "wife" lived to pick up my
belongings. Crazy thing is that I remembered EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING
as soon as my beautiful kids came outside with my beautiful wife. How could I
EVER forget my family? Each day I pray and thank god for keeping me alive.
"Skateboarding" by Oscar R
The thing that always gets your mind off of things. It will
always be there for you when your friends aren’t there for you. Skateboarding
has many things to come. There is so many things to do so many things to try
but at the end it is all about taking risks. There are always those times where
you are too scared to try something but no one realizes that there is a big
prize at the end and it is a great reward of satisfaction. If you fall just get
back up and keep trying at everything that you want to accomplish. Skateboarding
has got me off of everything from the worst to the best. Just let the breeze
take you down the hill and have a great ride. There will always be those times
where you will be going fast and you will get a lot of adrenaline, it’s the
best feeling in the world. Skateboarding is more than just a piece of wood and
wheels, it is a form of art in my perspective.
Many people might mistaken all the people who skate because they are
known to be a bad influence. They are wrong because when u skateboard u make
many friends and conversations with them. Skating is an art to me because it
takes a lot of effort and meaning. For example if you are trying to do a
specific trick you have to really concentrate and position your body and your
feet on the board correctly or a numerous of things can go wrong but also a
numerous of things can go good for u. Skateboarding is all about trying new
things and taking a lot of risks. On the other side it can be a dangerous sport
if u make it one. The way you can make it dangerous is by doing the extreme.
For example jumping big sets of stairs. It takes a lot of effort because you
have to really think about what you are going to do before you do it. It is
also good for your health because you are doing exercise while you are pushing
and jumping. There are many tricks and techniques that you can learn and
master. Skateboarding is not just a hobby it’s a sport to me because it has a
big impact in my life and most of my friends lives. If I didn’t have
skateboarding I don’t know what I would be doing right now. Skateboarding has
got me out of many bad things. Everyone should have a chance to at least try
skateboarding so they can feel the adrenaline and the breeze that hits their
face when they are going down a hill. Skateboarding has done a lot for me and I
want it to do a lot of everyone that trys it and that does it for a hobby or a
sport. Skateboarding is almost like life to me. I hope all of you that are
reading this will have a chance to try it and enjoy it thanks.
“My Worst Dream” by Luis T
It was like any other normal day. It was my normal routine,
wake up go to school, come back and sleep. There was this one day that was not
like any other day. It was on a Tuesday, I had woken up, or at least I thought
I was awake, any way I was getting dressed for school when I noticed no one was
home. It was just me and an abandon home, not even my dog was here. So I kind
of panicked but then I said to myself, maybe they went on a walk without me.
But that’s when I realized that it was only 4:30 in the morning and knowing
that my family doesn’t wake up early got me very frightened. When it struck
seven o’clock I decided to walk to school and on my way to school I decided to
go to the gas station and the scariest thing was that the gas station was open
but no one was in there. It made me wonder where everyone went. There was not
one single soul in the city; it was like a ghost town. So I prayed and thought
to myself was I the only one in the whole world to experience this, was god
punishing me for my sins, and that’s when I woke up. It was a dream, my worst
dream. I never knew I would be thrill to go to school and see my friends.
That’s when I knew that being alone is one of my worst dreams.
"The story of Aubree" by Izabel L
One after noon Aubree was with her
cousins in LA just enjoying life. Aubree had a family of 5. A mom, dad and
older sister and little brother. Every one was close to one another. Her dad
was a cop in Pomona and her mom worked as a dentist. Aubree’s relationship with
her dad was great. Whenever they were together she would always be smiling. He
would make her bad days a lot better with his big smile and hugs. So later on in the day Aubree and her family
left LA to come home. Her dad Bert was at S.W.A.T training and was going to a friend’s
party. Aubree and her family were
supposed to go but they wanted to say with their cousins. As they got home
aubree realized her dad wasn’t home yet. So it got later and later and everyone
fell asleep knowing that their dad wasn’t home yet. Around 12:12 midnight Aubree received a call
from her Aunt that her husband was going to pick up her and her siblings to go
to the hospital. In that moment Aubrey was terrified realized that her dad was
involved. As they rush to the hospital Aubree sees all of her dads friends/
co-workers. Aubree runs up to the ICU section and sees her grandma. Her grandma
told her that her dad was seriously injured and that he was in a car crash.
Time went on and more family members came to comfort her. Aubree was in the
hospital with her dad for 3 days. He wasn’t getting anybetter. Then the doctors
pulled the family into a room and pronounced that Her dad was brain dead and
that he wasn’t going to make it. On July 15 the last day of him being of life support.
Aubree was so devastated about this and everything that was going on. They
pronounced her dad dead on July 14 at 6:45pm. As months passed Aubree got
better and realized that he’ll always be with her.
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