It was only a month ago that we both had
said,” I do.” We had just come back from our honeymoon. We were so happy we
were moving into our new house. The house was so beautiful, it was my dream
house. It was so huge it was our mini mansion. It was his surprise for me. He
knew me so well. He told me he loved me every morning and every night. That’s
why I couldn’t believe he would cheat on me. At first he wouldn’t let me go
through his phone. He’s reason was because he needed privacy. I told my sisters
about this and they told me not to worry.
My sister invited us to her house to eat lunch one day. He
was acting secretive he got a phone call. He answered it and left the room
without saying anything, when he came back he looked nervous. An hour later he
said he had to leave without any excuse. After he left my sister told me to
follow him, so I did. He went into the city to a café. There he met a blonde
tall beautiful women. I just couldn’t
believe it, did my eyes deceive me! He hugged and kissed her, then they went to
his car. I followed them back to our house! Our house! How could he do this to
me? In our house? The house we were
going to have a family in. They went inside, I waited a while to go in. When I
went inside I was loud and said, “Honey I’m home!” I heard feet come down
stairs it was her she was surprised to see me. Then he came downstairs he said,
“It’s not what it looks like.” After he said that I just left and she chased me
and apologized she told me she fell in love with him. During that week I
divorced him and I couldn’t be happier.
I hope this does not happen to any woman, the story starts off so happy with the idea of getting married and living happily ever after and a couple that are madly in love with each other, that tone changes when the wife becomes suspcuious of her husband being very private over his phone. A woman knows and you should always follow your instinct no matter what. When the wife acted on his instinct she found out that her husband was cheating on her. However, at the end there is a sense of hope when the woman divorces her husband after finding out the truth which shows her independence instead of the woman taking the husband back and giving him a second chance.
ReplyDeleteKayla Fulton
Period 5
I still can't understand why people cheat but nice story, well written and I like how she follows her instincts.
ReplyDeleteWow this story was really sad and so detailed it seemed like a real experience. I loved the way you made the female character strong that when she found out about her husbands affair she didn't break down or beat herself up over it. This story was overall very good.
ReplyDeleteA really descriptive sad break up, its sad because these things do happen so I thought it was a nice narrtive . Expressed a relatable topic.
ReplyDeleteRight when i read "The Lie", and read "married" i already knew what was coming..lol. Great job though it was a good story and wasn't as long keep the writing up!
ReplyDeleteRight when i read "The Lie", and read "married" i already knew what was coming..lol. Great job though it was a good story and wasn't as long keep the writing up!
ReplyDeleteNice! That's an independent woman right there! I loved how you didn't do the whole cliche thiing where the girl ends up going back to the boy after he apologizes and all that. That was a nice turn of events. I liked how you described all the details all through your story.
ReplyDeleteAmazing Job!
Elisabeth Domond
Period 5
O MY. GOD. This is like everyday life. I loved every word of it. I was laughing through the entire thing (even though know some of it was sad) i can completely relate to this story and it shows that us that sometimes people are put in out lives temporarily and some people are put into our lives for a lifetime. . or so we think. This is a great piece and i really enjoyed this little drama. :)
ReplyDeletethis story is good. this happens a lot in eveyday life. I also thought the quote 'honey im home' was pretty funny. great story
ReplyDeletejesse jauregui
WOW! This piece has so much meat in it and the way you told it lowed nicely. I like the twist you added in and the shift in the tones from being happy for the new marriage, to being confused and wondering, then to being happy that the divorce went through. It took me on a rollercoaster ride as I was reading and the emotions can be related to other situations similar to this one.
ReplyDeleteMadison Pierce period 4
Good job with this short story i liked it a lot but keep up with the good work!
ReplyDeletep2
Angel Gonzalez
This story made me so heartbroken. The fact that a man could show so much love to a woman, and yet, he could still cheat on her. It's sad, it's sick. However, that is not the point here, I like how you transitioned into the climax. It was a surprise, you would think that this was going to be a happy ending, that the happy couple would live a happy life, the life that the woman expected, but they didn't. I liked how you were short and to the point, but you also had a build up on getting to the climax. good job!
ReplyDeleteYou were very direct in your writing, very good story at its core. I enjoyed it. For future reference instead of feeding the reader information directly you could give the reader scenarios that would make them suspicious of the husband instead of having to state it blatantly. Still, good writing.
ReplyDeleteMargaret Moyer
ReplyDeletePeriod 5
I'm really happy you didn't write the female as indecisive in breaking the relationship and instead does go through with the divorce, I feel like it is a good message. It's amazing how you were able to fit in what feels like a lot of story in to something short and straight to the point. Good Job~!
Good Story! Its kind of sad I but i guess that's life. Very detailed, and interesting.
ReplyDeleteJosie Starr
Period 2
This story was short but very effective, I think that is due to the simple sentences you used. They convey a shocked and overwhelmed tone and make the reader feel as though he/she was listening to the woman's thoughts. My favorite part was the last sentence, where, in a twist, she reveals her true feelings about the situation. After everything it was really unexpected to read that she was happy about it. There were only a few grammatical errors, but overall an amazing short story!
ReplyDeleteDiana Padilla
period 1
This is a nice short story, I like how its gets straight to the point. I would have loved to see some more imagery in the piece, I feel the use of more imagery could have helped you execute the story, in a way that would provide the reader with a more precise depiction of the speakers true tone and attitude. Overall great job! I enjoyed reading this story :)
ReplyDeleteKaleha Spencer
Period: 4
Even though this piece has a lot of elements of seriousness i really enjoyed the comic elements that you added into them as well.
ReplyDeletePeriod 4
Gabriel Borrego
Very short, sweet, and to the point, my kind of story. I could relate to this story on how it can connect to everyday life especially for a teenager. The ending wasn't cliche at all which overall made me really enjoy this piece. So you did a nice job and I hope I come across more of your work someday.
ReplyDeleteThis was a nice small story. It shows that you sometimes cant even trust the person you love and that says a lot. Good job.
ReplyDeleteKyle Baker
p. 6