Everybody
in the world always dreams about one day achieving perfection. With perfection
comes great admiration from the whole wide world. One may ask themselves, “How
do I obtain this perfection?” Well, the answer is very simple, as one may
obtain this through obtaining the title of Swag. Once one has Swag, great
recognition, athletic skills, amazing admiration, and profound intelligence
shall come to the person. Since I myself have obtained the all-mighty title of
Swag, I have seen all of these attributes of Swag in myself. For example, when
I walk around the mall, all the girls begin to smile and giggle to themselves
because they don’t know how to speak to such greatness. When teachers give back
my test, they give me the best grade achievable, the F, which stands for
fantastic! Not only that, students and adults of all kind, talk behind my back,
probably praising me and wishing they could be me. Now onto the steps to obtain
swag.
The first step is to dress like a person with Swag. One must
buy tight jeans that you can find in the children section in any clothing store
in the mall. These people with Swag in the picture shown below, perfectly
demonstrate how a person with Swag dresses. While one wears those tight jeans,
they must ensure that they sag the jeans to allow for the boxers to be
displayed to the entire world. Not only that, but the person must also wear an
expensive hat all day long. They need to wear either vans or Nike shoes, and to
finish the whole image up, they need to wear a shirt, sweater or anything of
the kind that proves your worth. If one dresses like a person with Swag, than
he shall receive many benefits. For example, the
person shall be so stylish, that people will gaze and look at the kid with a
puzzled look saying to themselves, “are my eyes decieving me or am I actually
witnessing such an amazing person with Swag.” Also the person’s athletic
performance shall improve dramatically, since they shall be wearing the most
comfortable tight children jeans that shall allow them to run like they have
never have ran before.
Nextly, is to impove ones
language. The person must use words and phrases such as: “ Let’s bounce”(To say
lets go), “ Let’s dip”(To say lets leave),”essay, foo, bruh, dude,brah,(to call
friends), yolo (to say bi to life), hashtag…., exc…. Using this language
improves your intellect, as teachers and students will be shocked and give a
puzzled look while thinking to themesleves , “this kid is utilizing such high
level vocabulary and language in his every day life.”
Lastly, is to care about ones
own apperearnce first before anything else. This brings upon profound
intelligence since the person will begin to receive the ultimate grade
everybody wants, which is the F for fantastic, instead of the A for awful.
Getting the best grade in the class will have the persons fellow clasmates and
people around him respect him even more.
In conclusion, if one follows
these 3 easy and simple steps, one shall receive the title of Swag that comes
with, great recognition, athletic skills, amazing admiration, and
profound intelligence. Start today, and tomorrow experience greatness and
perfection with the title of Swag. Good Luck!
You are able to use sarcasm to satirize a commonly held ideology. This is especially comical considering how common the ideology that you poke fun at is among people our age, that is, High School students. I'm glad to see that I am not the only one who recognizes how absurd the idea of "Swag" is. This is also a hilarious story, I often found my self nearly crying with laughter.
ReplyDeleteWell Done!
This is a perfect guide to lifelong success! I really enjoyed this because I see so many people doing exactly what you talk about in this piece. I really do believe that they think the way the narrator does because no matter how stupid they act and/or look, they continue to do the same things. Great Job
ReplyDeleteNehemiah Barnett
Period 4
If I could put the laughing/crying emoji in this comment, I would, because that is the perfect way to portray the reaction this piece received from me. First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on being the first Instructional Article that I've come across this year. As the first person (I think?) to achieve this with no real example to work off of, you did a fine job. Secondly, I'd like to note the perfect example of sarcasm that this is. The sarcasm, dramatic irony, and pure comic relief of this piece separates it from the mildly depressing plethora of submissions that tend to be put out, and it's contrast makes it all the more stunning. Aside from a few grammatical errors, this is easily one of my favorite pieces on the blog. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteChloë A. Miller P5
I loved how you use so much sarcasm in your blog to describe "swag". Knowing you, this blog shows your humor of how you are. It is also funny because there are some people in society who are like this because they actually think they have swag! It is ironic because the characteristics that you describe in the blog is completely different from how you are in person, not in a bad way BUT i cannot imagine you wearing skinny jeans or sag, haha. Great job making such a satirical piece.
ReplyDeleteWhen i started reading this, i started to cringe i was thinking "oh my god, someone actually posted something on how to have swag" -.-
ReplyDeleteBUT nope you were sarcastic about it and it made me breathe air out of my nose hard. However this did make me realize even more that people actually do this and eventually it did make me cringe haha. But anyway keep up the good work and stay funny.
LOL Erick your piece just had me laughing the entire time. Your use of sarcasm was on "fleek." Overall, I enjoyed every second of your piece. Keep up the great work "bruh." Oh and I almost forgot, Swag.
ReplyDelete-Philip Ahn
Period 4
Oh man the sarcasm, I am absolutely dying of laughter right now. This was seriously hilarious and appeals to my satirical senses. I have no words for this because I'm honestly still laughing. This whole post is just #swag *add sunglasses guy emoji*
ReplyDeleteThese steps were so easy to follow. I feel the swag already. Thank you for the tips. Also, the picture of the examples really helped.The sarcasm was really funny. The best part was the talking behind their back and saying i was something positive.
ReplyDeleteJocelyn Rangel
P.2
This is just awesome. The level of sarcasm used in this story is out the roof. This was a very entertaining and well thought story. Thanks for the lifelong lessons of how to obtain swag. #Ihaveswag #movinupinlife #thanksbrah
ReplyDeleteFreaking Eric,
ReplyDeleteYour satire skills are on point, brah. For real, perro like, you get it. You know what’s up. You know what’s real. I hope to be Swag just like you, man. I’m gonna name my daughter after you as Airwrecka. #soswag.
Now that that’s out of my system, I appreciate how you satirize popular culture today. We try to fit this image of being cool and being unique when really we’re being absorbed by this movement of swag. The picture is a nice touch by the way. The self help approach you presented this piece in three steps effectively made me laugh. Especially when there was clear blindness seen in the eyes of the instructions that F stands for Fantastic did I laugh. Those kids are well dressed. To truly be happy, we be ourselves and express independence from what we allow society to dictate how we should look or think or feel. But then again, isn’t that what hipsters do?
Thank you,
Gian Velasquez
This was a great account of what it means for someone to have "swag". I mean you hit the nail right of the head for all those dudes that think they have swag. I like the way you employed stereotyping and mockery in order to saterize the whole concept of swag. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely adore this piece. I love that you chose to satirize the importance of “swag” in our culture. My first favorite part is the narrator of the piece. They are undoubtedly one of the most unreliable narrators. Once I read the line “Since I myself have obtained the all-mighty title of Swag, I have seen all of these attributes of Swag in myself”, I knew that whatever this person was about to say would not be accurate nor true. I also loved the irony in your piece such as when you describe the attributes (“to care about one’s own appearance first before anything else. This brings upon profound intelligence since the person will begin to receive the ultimate grade everybody wants, which is the F for fantastic, instead of the A for awful”) and clothing that allow the person to achieve Swag as they show the superficiality of the Swag trend. I did not expect to find someone so foolish that they’d believe that F is a praiseworthy grade and an A is an awful grade. The parts where you inserted what the narrator believed others would be saying about them were also quite funny as I know from experience seeing these people with so-called “swag” the thoughts are quite the opposite. Your piece really shows how ridiculous all these superficial trends seem to be and how kids delude themselves into thinking that it is of utmost importance they have “swag”.
ReplyDeleteDanielle Delgado
Period 1
March 5, 2015
Yaaaassss! lol This piece had me dying of laughter by all the sarcasm used! You hit the whole concept of Swag right on its head! And the really funny thing is, those who truly believe that they have swag would read this and would totally agree with it and wouldn't realize how sarcastic you were being in this whole piece. I love how you added a picture to make sure your readers knew exactly what you were talking about. Great job pointing out one of the biggest problems with today's society (especially in high school)....swaq.
ReplyDeleteIdalys Martinez
Period 1
Your execution was amazing. I actually laughed out loud. I think your sarcasm worked perfectly and we all know society is consumed with the idea of fitting in therefore your direction was spot on. I really enjoyed reading this and i hope others can take a few pointers from your work because id love to read more in relation to our society.
ReplyDeleteLeasia Spicer
Period 4
Eric, this was absolutely hilarious. I appreciate the execution of this piece because you really took elements of satire and comedy coupled with the outrageous fad of having "swag" to create a tutorial that had me dying of laughter. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBro this is pure genius! I could not have ever thought of such a satirical piece as this. I would have to say that you are a professional satirist! And based on my judgement, I'd say you, too, have "swag!"
ReplyDeleteSince I have spent the entirety of my adolescent life living in Southern California, it is of no surprise that I have frequently encountered those who can be classified as "SWAGGY". And you, my friend, have encaptured the style and diction used by such a young man. Not only that, but you made it fun, hysterical, and scathing at the same time. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAndy Reinschmidt Period 5