"Inevitable Change" by Shayan K.

 

                  Music, glamour, spicy food, sweets, European liquor, loud relatives and hundreds of rituals filled the wedding reception of my eldest sister. She was the first child in our family of 6. It was at her wedding reception that I realized, what Indian girls, not every single one but ones from deep family roots like myself are destined to be. Soon my dearest sister was married and sent away to start a new life with a man she did not know. Arranged marriages are quite common in Indian culture.  It never occurred to me that it was now my turn.

                  I woke up the next morning, made a cup of hot tea, rushed to grab the newspaper, and opened up page 7 which read the daily horoscopes. My morning started just as usual until I walked past the family room. My dad was on a long distance call talking to an old friend he grew up with in India, but now has settled in America. My Dad was inquiring about his son’s future plans such as marriage and career. His son was now 23 years old and in the process of starting his own business. Without being forced I was convinced to start a new life with a complete stranger thousands of miles away from my home in India. My close friends were shocked to hear that I was engaged to get married at 16. I explained to them my sister also married at age 16 and that I would be okay. After much persuasion, my friends agreed that I would be just fine in America. America to them was a land of opportunity and a place where women are treated fairly with respect.

                  My wedding reception was just as glamourous as my eldest sister’s. What made it even more special was that my husband was born and raised in America and had no clue about all the rituals involved in an Indian wedding reception. Very soon, I was on an airplane on my way to land in John F. Kennedy airport in New York. Everyone in America made me feel at home, but I always felt as if I’ve left a big part of myself behind. My in-laws treated me with much respect and helped me get adjusted to the American culture. They toured me all around New York and took me to see some great monuments such as the Empire State Building. However, my biggest challenge was not adjusting with the American culture, but was to build a relationship with a complete stranger.

                  Just prior to my departure, I had a long emotional conversation with my parents and grandparents. I expressed to them my fear settling down in a country that I was not familiar with and being in a married relationship with a complete stranger. My parents taught me just one value and advised me to follow and live the rest of my life using that same value. They asked me to always respect others and that in turn others would naturally respect me back. I not only remembered my parent’s advice but also practiced and preached it in my daily life.

                  Gradually, my husband respected me and our respect of each other turned into love. Love without respect holds little to no value. My love for my husband is forever eternal.