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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

"The Message" by Isaiah J



Dear Comrade,
You have been compromised. Yes you, the average Joe, sitting in your cookie cutter cubicle. Now read every word of this letter carefully. Everything you watch, hear, or read is encoded with a message. Whether you are watching Saturday morning cartoons or the five o’clock news you are being exposed to coded messages. Imagine everything you are or will become is determined by the movie you watched, the song you heard, or the novel you were assigned to read. The movie, the song, and the novel are all forms of media, but are also tools to shape your every being. All the information you receive from the media is stored in your brain, whether you realize it or not you are a victim of the code. That information slowly but surely seeps out the crevices of your brain and assumes control. How exactly, is unknown. However, those of us who have become aware, now realize that is the beauty of the code. The code uses a combination of sounds, lights, and keywords to implant the messages. These coded messages influence our dreams and create our nightmares. Our dreams become our goals in life that we hope to achieve. Goals that we were destined to have. You are nothing but a mere puppet. That chill going down your spine, is the defense mechanism of the code trying to turn you away from the truth. It senses you are becoming self aware. Now we must proceed very carefully. Everyone you know or meet is now a threat to your very being. If you want to survive to learn more about the truth, follow these instructions. First there is a box under your desk with a prepaid phone in it, this will be our primary line of communication but do not use it until you finish reading; secondly cut all ties with your family and friends, you must become a ghost; thirdly quit your job at the firm, it is under heavy surveillance; lastly speak to no one of this and maybe you will live long enough to see the revolution.  One more thing, you should go to the little boy’s room since you probably soiled yourself. Man, I cannot imagine the look on your face right now. That serves you right for switching my power point during the conference last month. Happy April fool’s day jerk!
Sincerely,
David from Accounting

29 comments:

  1. Not what I had expected at all. The tone seems very familiar in the beginning of the story when it says, "Dear Comrade," like the person writing this letter real cares about the recipient, in which he does not. With the following sentences you get the idea that this is an informative letter about a pressing issue or a matter of importance, but it was just a joke. I was believing the story, like this was going to be about media and its bad influence on our society, but like the writer you were just playing with our emotions.
    Kayla Fulton
    10/1/2014
    Period 1

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  2. You had me going for a minute. I actually believed this was legit a pre-apocalyptic type of thing. Very nice twist at the end. I like how it is starts off strong and gets more and more intense as it goes, only to give us some comedic relief at the end.
    Jacob Valdez
    Period 4

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  3. This made me laugh because I didn't know what to think at first, I was like this person has interesting beliefs but then I read it was an April fools joke and it was funny.It was feels as though someone would pull a prank like this in real life.I really enjoyed your detail because that is what kept me on the edge of my seat and kept me intrigued.

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  4. This is such a playful piece I like it a lot. Not what I was expecting at all, I was excited for the idea of a serious revolutionary informative letter tackling the issue of media control, and hidden coded messages that influence our thoughts, but enjoyed it even more when it was an April fools letter. I like the structure of the story how it is written in the form of a letter from a guy from an accounting firm getting back at another guy. I like how a guy named David from accounting wrote this, something about this being an office joke gives it such a realistic, light-hearted, comical relief feeling as opposed to it being an actual informative letter tackling on the issue of media control. Reminds me of the t.v show the office. I really enjoyed reading this.

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  5. Wow, my first impression was, "Wow, this is very dramatic. This guy's in trouble, huge trouble." And then I get to the end, reading it made me laugh because I was not expecting it at all. The fact that you added that much detail into such a short piece of writing was amazing! I mean, you had me going until I read the end. This was an amazing story! You did a truly spectacular job!

    -Kimberly Tsuyuki
    Period 6

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  6. Oh god I actually thought you were analyzing me when I was reading the beginning. Then I read the end and I started laughing. It did sound like this guy was in real trouble, and the drama progressed nicely as the story went along, and then it's revealed to be a joke and the tension is gone. I really liked this piece, good job!

    -Cristina Sanchez

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  7. Wow this story was amazing. I loved the creative aspect of the story and the devolopement of the characteres. Good job!
    -Hallie Deeds

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  8. What a twist! The diction and thought that went into the intricate system of codes was what really made the piece interesting and entertaining. The letter-like structure gave the piece a sense of mystery and urgency as well which was one of the qualities about it that I really enjoyed. I was really impressed by the "coded" world you created, great job!

    Isabelle Huynh
    Per.1

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  9. I absolutely loved this piece! I started off feeling bit frightened, as if this had been one of those dystopian worlds where the population has been brainwashed. I feared for the reader's life since he had become aware of the code and that he was now going to have to run from it for the rest of his life. However, upon reading those last two sentences, I cracked up because what i thought would be some dramatic event a la an action movie was nothing but a mere prank. I felt as if this prank had been on me and my emotions went from fear right to disbelief because all of a sudden the elaborate fleshing out of "the code" had been nothing but a joke. It was a very masterful way to enact your revenge and made for a very,very enjoyable read.

    Danielle Delgado
    10/12/2014
    Period 1

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  10. At first I thought this was a science fiction piece with secret agents and the like, but reading the last sentence and realizing that the entire setup was just a buildup to startle the main character ended up being a very satisfying conclusion. I thought it was well-written and the homage to Orwell had fantastic execution. It was a very fun read.

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  11. Wow Isaiah, this was a great piece. Throughout the poem, it gets very interesting and intense but after reading the end, I was like, wow. This poem was great because it got me reading until the end and your use of diction towards the end, made it seem like there was actually going to be a revolution.

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  12. Wow, this was an interesting prank that I'm pretty sure could be something anybody could do. The writing of this itself gives the connotation that this guy is just in a whole load of trouble. Giving that whole build up to just mess with one's emotions was a very spiteful, but intricate work. Thanks for the hilarious mind trick. -Joey Roest

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  13. This piece definantly made my night. It had such a serious tone throughout the whole letter, it almost sounded like the movie The Matrix. Then i got to the end and just started laughing. This poem really stands out among the rest cause of its different tone. I can honestly say i really enjoyed it.

    Angel Ramirez
    Period 1

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  14. Period 4
    This story was very funny and enjoyable. I was really getting into the seriousness of the letter and starting to wonder about all the possibilities of what it meant and would happen to the man until I got to the ending, which was pretty hilarious. I liked structure of the story and how it started off as a mysteriously anonymous letter and ended as a hilarious prank. The diction used to create the serious tone really had me going. Overall, I found this story really enjoyable.

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  15. I thought this was really deep and dramatic at first, but once I got to the end i started laughing because it was a really unexpected ending. You put a lot of thought into this one, even though it was meant to be humorous. I like how you just playfully toyed with the reader's emotions by starting off very dramatic and serious and ending on a funnier note with some comic relief. Great Job!

    Melany Mailangkay
    Period 1

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  16. This piece was very interesting because of the change of tone throughout it and the detail used. I enjoyed how the tone changed from super serious and mysterious to a prank! It even got me to be honest! When I first began to read it, I was like "Oh dang what is going on?!" then as I got to the end I realized it was a prank and I began to laugh. The detail throughout the piece really convinces the audience that the man is into some deep trouble and has to do all the things that are listed throughout the letter. I also enjoyed how you kept making sure the audience read until the end! Great job!

    Idalys Martinez
    Period 1

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  17. Wow!! This is really good. The story has a remarkable twist. This kind of made me laugh when it said "Dear Conrad". I'm not sure why this did but it did :)
    -Daisy Fuentes
    Per. 2

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  18. This piece is very interesting because of the change in tone throughout the story and the amount of detail used. The tone in the beginning was very serious and mysterious but then turned out to be a prank. It made me think, " Oh dang this guy is in a lot of trouble! What is he going to do?!". Then I realized it was a prank and it made me laugh. The amount of detail you used really drew in the audience to believe that the guy was going to have to deal with a serious issue. I also liked the fact that you made sure the whole letter was read so they knew it was a joke! Great job!

    Idalys Martinez
    Period 1

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  19. Wow, that was intense! At first i was like, 'Am i reading the code?' and I so nervous for the guy reading the letter. It was very intense and descriptive. I am very surprised how fast you can draw the readers' attention with the first couple of sentences. At the the end, I realized how tense I was as i chuckled at the comical relief. Very nice work Isaiah. Keep it up!

    -Frederick Sagoe

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  20. That ending honestly made me laugh! Not going to lie, at first I was a little confused as to what was going on, but the plot twist at the end was super unexpected and hilarious. I like how it started out really dramatic, and I also liked the opening lines "Yes you, the average Joe, sitting in your cookie cutter cubicle." Overall, good job Isiah!

    Anthony Hurd
    Period 4
    10/12/14

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  21. That ending honestly made me laugh! Not going to lie, at first I was a little confused as to what was going on, but the plot twist at the end was super unexpected and hilarious. I like how it started out really dramatic, and I also liked the opening lines "Yes you, the average Joe, sitting in your cookie cutter cubicle." Overall, good job Isiah!

    Anthony Hurd
    Period 4
    10/12014

    Anthony Hurd
    Period 4
    10/12/14

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  22. As I was reading your story, it had me looking over my shoulder and locked up in suspense. Very nice job sucking the reader in by making them a part of the story with the "you" second person point of view. It definitely worked on me. I do not know of any way you could have made it better. Impressive work, I hope there will be more.

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  23. This was good! I really enjoyed the amount of detail you put into this piece. You really know your CIA talk because this piece is definitely a reflection of what i usually see in movies. Great work!
    Leasia Spicer
    Period 4

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  24. I was hooked from the very first line! The layout and the second person point of view emphasized the dramatic feeling of your submission. I felt like I was in the beginning of an action movie and then I reached the last line…it was a very clever and humorous way to end. I really enjoyed it, everything was spot on.
    -DIana Padilla period1

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  25. I was hooked from the very first line! The layout and the second person point of view emphasized the dramatic feeling of your submission. I felt like I was in the beginning of an action movie and then I reached the last line…it was a very clever and humorous way to end. I really enjoyed it, everything was spot on.
    -DIana Padilla period1

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  26. I loved that. I got hooked in by your opening line and was enthralled by the intensity and fervor of the message. Ah payback is the best. I loved the setup for the comedic approach you took to this. Great story, one of my favorites from this month. Richie Gaspers Period 5.

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  27. I loved this! Especially how you got the reader to really believe that something bad was going to happen to him. I also enjoyed the plot twist at the end and found it funny. Overall this was a great story and I enjoyed it very much. -Tatiana Nunez Per. 6

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  28. This story was cool. I liked how the guy tricked his friend into thinking something bad was going to happen to him. Evil humor always has a good laugh.

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  29. Hmmmmm...so after reading this I found some elements that I really enjoyed, and some that I could have done without. First, I love the style and scenario that you write this in. The whole email, "you're not getting out alive", "oh crap I'm in trouble" feel that you gave to this was a very effective device. However, I believe it would have been more effective if the threats bestowed within the email were more simplistic and somewhat mysterious. Furthermore, I feared it was going to become more campy with the ending, but I was pleasantly surprised that it did not end like, "And don't turn around because they're right behind you". I like that it ended on a humorous note as an act of revenge. Overall, not a bad piece of writing at all.
    -Andy Reinschmidt

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